Suddenly I see.

'Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to Dublin' I shifted awkwardly in my seat. I couldn't wait to get to my grandma's house. This had been one long plane journey. It hadn't been helped by the fact I had gone 24 hours with no sleep before even boarding at LAX, not to mention the 10hour flight I had just been on. I needed sleep. I had completely struggled to sleep on this flight and I wasn't even sure why. I couldn't wait to spend the month with my Grandma. I hadn't seen her in so long.

I had broken up with Jesse after 10 years together. We had been separated for just over 12months, to cope with our break up I had thrown myself into work and suffered a burn out. I mean we just became best friends and we both admitted our relationship had ran its course. Doesn't make it easier though. So, after a complete burn out, and being admitted to hospital with exhaustion I decided to take a month off from everything and go to visit my Gran. She doesn't live in Dublin so I still have a 45minute drive to deal with, she lives in the most beautiful little place called Blessington in County Wicklow. It is a far cry from LA but I couldn't wait! Fresh air, mountains, a stunning coast line, no clubs, no press. Bliss.

I hit myself up with a hire car, an after a about hours' drive I pulled up outside. The cottage next to the village pub had been renovated and looked amazing. That placed had been left for years, Gran had said it had been bought but wow it looked amazing. I turned the engine off. There was nothing but silence, I smiled to myself and opened the car door, pulled my luggage out and walked up the path. As I got to the door looking half dead, I heard an American accent. 'Hiya are you Beca?' I did not want small talk conversation, I wanted to get in and see my gran before sleeping for a week. I turned to the side, just there over the wall stood the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Where did that thought come from? Jesus. Erm answer her this silence is getting weird. 'erm yeah, I am looking for my Gran.' Before I knew it the red head was making her way towards the wall separating the cottages. 'She told me to look out for you, she said to give you this key and said she will be back by 7pm she had some errands to run. I am Chloe by the way.' Her smile was beaming and I didn't want to be rude but I was so tired. 'Oh thanks, nice to meet you Chloe, without wanting to be super rude do you mind if I enter my Grans, just I've not slept for near 30 hours and I feel like death.' I gave her a small smile. She chuckled 'Of course not, I figured you would be shattered so when Grace said she wouldn't be here when you arrived, I just made up a few bits for you,' She picked up this little box and handed it to me. 'Erm thanks, I will grab a shower, eat this and then sleep for 7 days.' I laughed and gave her a small wink. She laughed back, 'If you need anything just give me a shout, hopefully see you around Grace has told me so much about you.'

'Oh lord, whatever she has said it isn't true!' she laughed 'I already know it is. Now go get some sleep' I nodded and as she turned away I entered my grans, placed my case down and opened my box the redhead had given me. Inside was a small tub of soup, some homemade bread and a piece of Irish teacake and a miniature bottle of whiskey. A small smile came across my face. How cute was she to do this for me? Somebody she didn't even know. An I had been such a grumpy arse. Metal note do some baking while you are here Mitchell and take it round.

I took my stuff to the spare room, the room I used to spend all my summer holidays. Not much had changed, I kind of liked that though. I felt home. I ran the bath water and striped out of my travel clothes. God it felt good to be back here. I couldn't wait to see Gran. I had missed her so much. This break u had killed me emotionally. Jesse had always been there for 10years and now even though we spoke regular it wasn't the same. I didn't miss him so much as my partner but my god did I miss him as my best friend. I opened my iPod, Tom Odell. Perfect. I immersed myself into the bathtub and switched off.

Before I knew it I heard the door go. That voice the way she shouted my name, that Irish accent it made my insides feel warm and fussy. 'Rebeca I am back, sorry I wasn't here love, you ok?' I jumped out of the bath, threw my dressing gown around my shrivelled-up skin and dashed down the stairs like a child on Christmas morning. As I entered the kitchen there she was. I nearly hit her for six with such a massive hug. 'Gran, I have missed you so much' she flung her arms around me. I began to sob my heart out. She held me, stroked my hair, she never said anything other than to let me know how much she loves me. After several minutes, she pushed us apart. Her hands cupped my face. 'oh Rebeca, my beautiful girl. You have been through it but you will get there that I promise, however you must start talking. Have you told Jesse you are here?' I nodded and made my way over to the desk top where the food from Chloe was resting. I heated the soup. 'Where did you pick that up?' Indicating to the soup, bread, cake and whiskey. I smiled, 'Chloe gave it to me. She seems lovely.'

'Oh, she is a utter sweet heart, that redhead. She is from Florida. She moved here 10 years ago with her husband. His name is Tom, they moved in about a year ago, they gutted that house, it is so beautiful inside. She has three gorgeous little children too they are always in and out of here.' My Gran let out a little chuckle. Hearing here laugh in such a way made my heart warm it was nice for Gran to have youngsters in her house. All 4 of her grandchildren were spread around the world and after my Grandad passed I wondered how she would cope, but she has surprised us all with how well she is doing two years on. I couldn't believe Chloe had three children though that really surprised me. 'How old are her children? She never mentioned them before or Tom' I was dripping my bread in to my soup and it tasted amazing. 'Well her eldest is a young girl called Siobhan she is 8, then there is little Patrick he is 7 and as cheeky as they come, and then the little one is 3 she is called Niamh she is a character that one.' My Gran was full of smiles telling me about them. I finished my soup and placed the dishes in the sink. 'As for their dad, well he is an utter idiot. I tell Chloe she needs to throw him overboard all the time. Horrible man.' I picked my whiskey up, and cuddled up to my Gran. I kissed her on the cheek and gave her a big smile ' I have missed you so much.'

'Missed you more kiddo, so come on spill, what's going on in that mind of yours, there is plenty more whiskey to go so let it all out.' I sighed an before I had chance to say anything there was a knock at the door. Gran stood up and walked over to answer it, 'Well come on in little one, is it that time already?' I heard a little Irish voice 'Yes Granny Gracey Milk and talk time' the next minute the cutest little boy walked in. He stood dead in his tracks when his stunning green eyes caught mine.

'Granny is this Rebeca?' he had curly blonde hair that he had tucked behind his ears and he was wearing a set of Batman Pjs. 'It certainly is Patrick go and say hi.' Next minute this little guy waked over to me, held his little hand out. 'Hello Rebeca, I am Patrick. I am 7 years old and live next door. Your Gran is the best. '

'Why hello Patrick, lovely to meet you, and she certainly is, is she getting you milk and biscuits?'

He looked at me and nodded with a big smile on his face. 'Yes, we have it quick as mummy will be here in a minute to get me.' The door popped open, there stood Chloe, with Siobhan and Niamh.

'Grace it I only us, thought I would come and pick Patrick up before he eats you out of house and home.' Niamh looked like a mini version of Chloe, red hair, dimples, bluest eyes and such a beautiful smile. Siobhan was tall, with curly red hair to her shoulders, green eyes and she was very slim and very shy.

'Oh behave Chloe I wouldn't be a evening time without a visit from my faves now would it. Milk and biscuits all round?' 'yes yes yes yes yes please shouted Patrick, a yes from Niamh and a small nod from Siobhan.

Chloe sat opposite me, 'Sorry about this. We have become slightly accustomed to visiting Grace before we head off to bed when their dad is on night shifts.' I watched the children interacting with Gran it reminded me of when I was a child. It was pretty magic to watch.

Chloe was wearing some grey sweatpants and a navy superdry hoodie, her hair was wavy and fell to her shoulders. 'No need to apologise, they clearly make my Gran happy.'

'Can I get you anything? Whiskey, tea, coffee?' I stood up and headed towards the kitchen side. 'Erm I would love a tea. Just milk please.' She smiled at me and weirdly my stomach flipped. Like actually full on flipped, what the hell was that. While I was making tea I watched my Gran with the children it was super cute how they took turns to tell her about their day.

I popped Chloe's tea down on the side. 'So sorry to hear about you and your partner, your Gran mentioned it in passing one day, she got a little upset as she was worried about you. I think she has used me as a little bit of a sounding board for her concern for you, however if you want to tell me to back off then no offence taken.' I have no idea why but I wasn't even annoyed. 'no, no it is completely fine. I Just realised that actually he didnt give me fire in my tummy anymore and I didn't want to waste any more time with the wrong person if you get what I mean? He felt the same and it has been so emotional, but I don't have any regrets. He is with somebody new and so happy, its great to see that smile on his face again, it had been missing for too long.'

Chloe stayed very quiet. She gave out a small sigh, 'I wish I was brave enough to do that. 10 years, three children and no spark. That's me and my husband Tom. I think we have outgrown each other. He has had several affairs and I have taken him back for the children, but you just described what is important and that is each other being happy.' She paused, realising what she had said and to who ' One day me and the children can be free that's the hope. She took the last sip of her drink. 'sorry about that, you didn't need to hear that. Right tiddly winks come on Granny Grace has to get ready for bed too. Say good night and to Rebeca too.' I stood up and coughed, 'Its just Beca. Nice to meet you all and thank you for making my Gran smile so much. Chloe while I am here if you want to talk I am here, ears open no judgement.' I smiled at her and she smiled back as she bent down to pick Niamh up, 'Thanks Bec, how about a coffee tomorrow?' My Gran entered with Patrick in tow and Siobhan was stood by the front door. 'bye Beca' Patrick shouted and he put his hand up for a high five. I pushed my hand up against his, 'High Five dude' he chuckled and ran to the door to Siobhan.

'Thank you, Grace, and Bec just give me a knock about 11am and we can grab that coffee' we shared a smile 'can we make it like 1pm?' she let out a little laugh 'Of course' and with that they pelted my gran with kisses and hugs before leaving.

Silence was golden.