Author's note: I wasn't planning on adding another chapter but once again it felt incomplete without Chandler's version haha

Chandler had never been picky about sex. About the women he would date? Yes. About any possibility of sex? Not at all. You know that thing they say about pizza? That average pizza is still pizza so it's still good? Yeah, he used to believe it was the same with sex. Even if it wasn't the best experience in the world, he would still count himself lucky for having sex anyway.

He was 23 when he first touched a naked woman, but he was 29 when he finally understood how a woman's body worked. The second statement was even more embarrassing to admit, even worse than being a male with no sex for over 20 years of life. One would think that having such unabashedly sexual parents would help him have more familiarity about that not so holy activity that stemmed from reproduction, but nope, being a child of those two only made him awkward about it. He had been completely clueless about sex through teenage years, loneliness (and, well, porn) being his only company and source of knowledge.

Clearly, the most terrible way to learn anything.

To top that off, there was that thing about men and penetration; since that part was so awesome for him, it would be as awesome for the ladies, right? It wasn't until one day when he had a very special private lesson on female sexuality from his experienced neighbor that he realized the truth: nope, not at all. Chandler found out in minutes that even fingers brushing on specific spots on a girl's neck could be enough of a turn on – hell, even words could do it, and when he saw Monica getting all worked up about her own lesson he realized how different men and women really were.

That put his whole sex life into perspective, and made him realize that yeah, maybe all those terrible experiences had been partly his fault. When he had Kathy, he was able to take it to the next level. Being with her was almost like macaroni and cheese made by Monica on a Friday night with restaurant leftovers. Then she had cheated on him (his friends constantly told him that her cheating wasn't his fault, so he tried to adjust the memory to that mindset). When they had broken up, he thought he was doomed for good, and sex would be like that pizza that Joey kept in the fridge for days and he ate it for being too lazy to cook anything. He had resigned; he had never been that great at cooking anyway.

Then, London happened. Monica Geller happened. Of course he had always thought she was hot. Having sex with her almost made his brain explode though. He had honestly believed that what he'd had with Kathy had been the best thing in his life, and nothing better would ever come up. He was very happy for being so wrong.

Never a compulsive kind of guy before, being with Monica turned his life around. It was like being in a party with the most delicious meals in the world – he just wanted to taste everything, enjoy the moment to the fullest, eat every piece of every cake and pie until he was passing out for being too full. During those hours they spent together he'd thought for a moment that he might never get enough of it, which led them to seven times in one night – pretty impressive even for Joey, Chandler reveled in that thought.

Monica was able to turn him into a very different man from what he used to be. For one, she was full of energy, so so so extremely horny, in a way that urged him to try and keep up with her rhythm. She was also unbelievably skillful when it came to love-making. The things she had done… Some of those things Chandler hadn't even known were possible; one night with her was enough to make him feel like his sexual life prior to that moment was too tame. The way she moved was out of this world. The way she made loud noises while being fucked had him making noises too. The way she touched whatever she wanted whenever she wanted baffled him in the best way possible. The way she had out of the blue put all of him inside her mouth, even licking his balls, creating the most pleasurable mess of saliva and semen… at that moment he could only conclude Monica might have spoiled porn for life.

And he thanked all the nice gods and gentle deities that allowed him to keep that woman around. They had actually gotten married, had been married for a couple of months now – which was nothing when he remembered they've been living together for over two years, wow, where did time go? – and he still couldn't believe she was his.

Isn't it amazing how my mind is already in the gutter and I'm not even awake yet? For some reason, there was a Chandler's Sex Life recap going on inside his mind first thing in the morning. He smirked at how lame he was, enjoying the warmth coming from his wife's body. She wouldn't work that day, and Chandler was very ready to call in sick. Being at home with her all day long was the best – there was always sex and great food, sometimes both mixing. His daydreaming about later plans was interrupted by subtle movements from the body against his. He could tell by her breathing that she was awake too.

"Morning." He told her when she turned around to look at his eyes and kiss him. They smiled at each other, but soon he felt her hands trailing down his stomach and he knew where they were going. It seemed like the morning wood would not be wasted this time.

Monica was a chef for a reason. She enjoyed bearing the power in her restaurant, the same way she did in bed. She savored being in control, creating stuff for people to eat, being worshipped for giving them one of the most primal forms of pleasure. It worked wonders for Chandler; for all he knew, he could worship all of her forever. Being between her legs was definitely one of the things that hardened his dick in a minute. That London night had been the turning point for him, when he learned that no food would ever taste as good as her pussy; he had almost automatically become addicted to that taste. She had totally elevated his appetite, given him one more thing to eat, and suddenly he could understand why so many people indulge their oral fixation. Eating was awesome. Licking her up had become an urge as strong as smoking. He felt weird about it, however, match made in heaven: Monica also had a thing with her mouth. Before being a chef, she had a thing with eating. It showed in every aspect of her life, but especially whenever she decided to get off from her position of being the chef, the one who provided everybody with the tasteful dishes, and decided to taste something herself. That was when she could return to her favorite activities, like stuffing her mouth with as many different cookie flavors as possible; except the thing in her mouth at that moment wasn't a cookie; except that instead of tasting different flavors, she seemed to be addicted to just one.

Chandler had never had a woman suck him off like she did. Of course oral sex was part of most of his sexual encounters, but he had sometimes felt like the girl he had been seeing had just been doing him a favor. That was not the case with Monica. She never did anything she didn't want to please him – everything she did to please him happened to please her too.

How she fingered herself and rubbed her own clitoris when she had him in her mouth was proof enough of that.

Not only Monica was capable of coming while making him come, she got off on teasing him up until spontaneous combustion point. She never started by engulfing him. Instead, she liked to lick his balls thoroughly first, sometimes even getting them both inside her mouth. When she was in the mood for torture, the licking would happen over underwear – her cruelty should never be underestimated. She usually made a show of not touching the rest of his member until it was completely stiff and pulsating from the stimulation. Only then she would tug on the boxers – or the tighty-whities, which had the kind of fabric that was great for the licking part, and for that, despite Joey's judging, Chandler had even bought more. Having all of him inside her mouth would be the near-the-end step. That was also that one moment when she didn't try to keep things clean. The more glistening his penis was the more pushed over the edge both of them would be. He liked to enjoy the physical sensations, but he would never turn down that privileged view. All the passion she used to approach everything in life was right there. He had seen home videos of her eating ding dongs without taking the tinfoil off, just gorging herself on everything with a fulfilled expression resting on her face. He had to admit he found the whole thing oddly arousing, the way those thin lips were capable of holding so much. When she sucked his dick it was just the same. Coming in her mouth was the cherry on top, so amazingly good that neither would even mind the semen dripping from her parted lips – or the kiss that followed it.

He was enjoying the relaxation that usually came after his orgasm, not even sure about what he had been thinking anymore. It was something about eating, right? Whatever it was, his mind shut down when she turned around to sit on his face. He might have changed a lot over the years, but for sure he never was one to reject breakfast in bed; there was no danger of spilling either.