For my very dear ShipMistress on your big day - every ridiculous word of this fluff is for you, with lots of love. I hope your party is as much fun as this one was to write xxx
This one is set somewhere in season four of RTTE, imagine there's a quiet few weeks in amongst all the chaos, definitely before Blindsided and canon Hiccstrid. It's a cheerful bit of fluff with a side order of Hiccstrid, because that's the sandbox I like to play in. It got long because these guys all had their own ideas, as always.
(The italic sections are flashbacks - I dropped in the ... before and after each just in case the italics don't show up well on your screen. o0o denotes a chapter break. I hope you all enjoy, all reviews very much appreciated!)
The Afterparty
Astrid woke and opened her eyes. At least, she tried to, but they seemed to have been stuck shut with some sort of gluey stuff. She scrubbed her knuckles into her sockets until light began to break through. Thor, that was bright! Unfamiliar blankets lay over her legs. So, she was in a bed. That was good, right? But which bed? Certainly not hers. Squinting, she cast about through the haze, looking for hints. It would have been easier if her head hadn't been trying to fall off each time she moved it, or if the terrible terrors currently playing the drums inside it had been kind enough to shut up but eventually her bleary gaze snagged on an indistinct shape decorating the far wall. She scrubbed at her eyes again, bringing it into focus. It was …an 'S'? An 'S'? And there was another one, and another. It was a festival of the snake-shaped letter. What kind of an idiot would decorate with letters? She froze in sudden, horrific realisation. Oh dear Gods in Valhalla. She was in Snotlout's hut. And in Snotlout's bed.
A sleepy grunt came from the other side of the bed and her blood ran cold. No. She wouldn't have. Surely she wouldn't have, she would never. Moving more cautiously than she had ever done in her life, Astrid twisted to look over at the totally blanket-covered shape currently sharing Snotlout's pallet with her. Sure enough, someone, someone male and snoring was under there. He was definitely alive, though currently sleeping dead to the world and she was not about to stick around and wait for him, whoever the Hel he was, to wake up. She slid her legs round off the bed and stood up. Unfortunately, that made the terrible terrors in her head all decide to rush to her stomach and she sat down again, fast and with a thud.
"Wha...arrggghhh!"
Blankets flew as a figure flailed upright and then slumped back clutching his auburn mop in distress,
"Gods, Astrid do you have to be so loud?"
Oh, thank Thor, it was only Hiccup! Hang on, she was in bed with Hiccup? Despite the fact that she now realised they both seemed to be perfectly respectably dressed, she had never blushed so hard in her life.
"Sorry Hiccup, I didn't mean to wake you. I was trying to escape. I thought you might be Snotlout."
He scowled. "Why would I be Snotlout?"
"Well, we are in Snotlout's hut. And in Snotlout's bed…"
"We are?" He looked around, noticing for the first time their surroundings. "Oh, I guess we are. In bed. Us. Me and you…" The heat coming from his scarlet face was such that she could have been sitting next to a fireworm. "Do you think we…" catching her raised eyebrows, he trailed off. "...had a good night's sleep?"
She groaned in reply. "Do you feel as if you did? What I'd like to know is why we're here, and where's Snotlout? Or anyone else for that matter? What in Thor's name happened last night?"
"Let's go find out shall we?"
More jauntily than she had expected, he swung himself round and jumped up out of the bed. Unfortunately, all that happened was that he ended up in a heap on the floor.
"Hiccup," Astrid said wearily, "I'm no expert, but I think we'd better find your leg."
o0o
"Water," Hiccup pleaded as Astrid helped him up and into a chair across the room, "seriously, water. More than the leg."
She swallowed stickily in reply, her tongue clinging to the roof of her mouth. "I know, I know, me too. But where on Midguard does Snot keep it?"
"There's a keg over by the fire, maybe in there?" He rubbed his left arm through his tunic, wincing. "Thor, I am sore in places I didn't even know I had. What were we doing last night?"
Taking hold of the keg, Astrid pulled out the stopper. A eye-wateringly smell billowed out, sweet and sickly, yet sharp, filling the air. Hiccup sneezed.
"Wow, that's…potent. What is …" and he paused, meeting Astrid's eyes. The smell sparked their memory and together they groaned.
"Spitelout's home brew…"
...
"Hey guys! Look what my Dad sent me!" Snotlout staggered into the clubhouse, bowing under the weight of a filled keg and grinning. "I just picked it up from Johan – party at my hut tonight!"
"Oh. My. Thor. Is that what I think it is?" Tuff stepped forward with eager eyes, taking the barrel and shaking it excitedly. "No, it can't be. Is it?"
Snotlout grinned. "It is."
Placing it carefully on the table, Tuff breathed out reverently.
"Spitelout's Special? Your Dad's home brew? I've heard about this, but never actually seen it. Not in the flesh. In the keg. You know what I mean."
Ruff joined her brother in staring at the barrel as if at a treasure hoard.
"You know, I've heard this stuff is so powerful, makes you go blind."
"I've heard it's so powerful it makes your future children go blind."
"I know one guy who drank it, lost the use of his arms."
"I know one who drank it and lost the use of his legs."
"Yeah, well, I knew one guy who drank it, lost the use of his face!"
There was a short pause and then the twins were scrabbling over each other to reach the stopper;
"I want some!"
"No, me first!"
"Hey hey hey," Hiccup called as he walked over, "Nobody is having any. We don't really need anyone going blind or losing the use of their face, thank you very much. Snotlout, take it away, please."
Snot's face fell. "Aww, come on Hiccup, it's my birthday! You only turn nineteen once and my Dad never sends presents. We have to drink this! It's a Jorgenson rite of passage. You owe me this! The world owes me this!" He adopted his best pleading face. "Go on, Hiccup, just a quiet evening up at the hut, couple of drinks, watch the sunset, all very civilised. We're responsible dragon riders. We can do civilised. Can't we?" He asked the last to the twins who nodded so enthusiastically that their helmets threatened to fall off.
"We are the King and Queen of civilised Hiccup my good man." Ruff assured him. "No issues there."
"None at all," Tuff chimed in, "It's not like any of us would get legless. Except maybe you. Because you don't have as far to go. Because, you know, you only have the one…"
"I get it Tuff, thank you."
Hiccup took in the three wide eyed, innocent faces before him and sighed. He looked back over his shoulder at Astrid and Fishlegs, who both shrugged.
"Things have been quiet Hiccup," Astrid said, "No sign of Dragon Hunters for days. I don't see why not."
"I could go for a civilised cocktail." Fishlegs added. "I can bring mini-umbrellas…"
Hiccup huffed. "Fine. Just because it's your birthday. But you get your jobs done first. Dragons fed, stabled, Night Terrors on watch. Then we'll come up. For one drink. Ok?"
"Yes!" Snotlout pumped his fist and picked the keg back up, grinning widely. "Party at Snotmeister's hut, 8pm sharp. Be there or be, be, you know, like that boring shape where all the sides are dull and the same."
"A square?"
"Yeah, be there or be like a square"
And he was off, carrying his keg and happily accompanied by the twins who were already enthusiastically making lists of party snacks.
Hiccup turned back to his two remaining friends, smiled.
"One drink can't hurt, right?"
...
"One drink can't hurt. Did I say that? Tell that to my head." Hiccup moaned.
"Here, you big baby boo," Astrid handed him a non-too clean-looking cup. "I found the water. It's warm and pretty Snotlouty, but it's liquid. Quit pouting and drink up."
He did as he was told and found that in fact it did wake him up a bit.
"Urgh. That is better, slightly less like a gronckle slept in my mouth overnight." He peered towards the small barrel. "Is that keg actually empty?"
"Yep."
"Gods. I said one drink. Did anyone listen to me?"
She shook her head weakly. "It would appear not. Not even me. Not even you. This stuff is deadly. It seems one drink decided that two drinks was a good plan, and then two drinks thought three would be a great idea, three wanted four to come the party…and so on. And now I think I'm going to die. Or that maybe I'd like to."
"Nope, not allowed." He stood and reached out for her. She came quickly across, putting his arm across her shoulders for support. "Someone has to help me down to the stables. I've no idea what I've done with my leg so I'll need the spare from Toothless' saddle bag. Then we can assess the damage and figure out where everyone else got to."
"I could just call Stormfly for a lift."
"Oh no, please, I don't think this head could stand a dragon call. A walk will do us good. If you would, Milady?"
o0o
They made their slow way out of the hut, wincing at the brightness of the mid-morning sunshine but enjoying the fresher air. However, as the pair reached first rope bridge away from Snotlout's place it became apparent that their three-legged race approach just wasn't going to work. Leaning on a post, Hiccup surveyed the narrow path.
"I suppose if I hold onto the ropes I can sort of hop myself across?"
Astrid held up her hand. "No. Oh no. No way am I explaining to Stoick the Vast that I let the Heir of Berk tumble off a rope bridge with one leg and a hangover. Come on." Crouching down in front of him she looked over her shoulder at his bewildered face. "Jump on."
"Astrid what are you…?"
"I'm taking you yak-a-back. Climb aboard. Mind the skirt."
Hiccup flushed bright red. "I am not climbing aboard!" he stammered. "This is ridiculous!"
"Do you have a better idea?" She waited but none was forthcoming. "I thought as much. Come on Hiccup, I want to get to Stormfly, she hasn't even had breakfast and she'll be so cranky! Don't you want to find Toothless? This is the quickest way. Get. On."
Muttering under his breath he again did as he was told, standing over her and putting his arms round her neck. She stood up, lifting his weight behind his knees.
"Ow!"
"What, am I too heavy? I'll get down." He wriggled but she just held tighter.
"No, it's not you, my hip's sore. Feels bruised. Odin knows what I've done to it. Let me just…"
She hefted his weight and Hiccup found himself being bumped upwards. Instinctively he tightened his thighs to grip round her slim waist and froze, feeling awkward but acutely aware of how very very close they suddenly were. He had her between his…nope. Not a good time to finish that sentence, even in his head. At the same time Astrid swept her arms round her back to support him, but his knees were too far up now and instead both hands landed squarely on his ass. She felt herself blush furiously, extremely glad that he couldn't see her face, but decided to brazen it out as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Besides, her hands informed her, those riding-hardened muscles were nothing if not well-shaped to grip. Oh, shut up hands, shut up! She swallowed hard and reached for a light tone of airy nonchalance,
"Comfy?"
Hiccup, who had been watching fascinated as a flush climbed slowly up the back of Astrid's neck, startled and cleared his throat.
"What? Hmm. Oh, Yes, yes, fine. Carry away."
As she started out across the gulf he tried very, very hard not to think about the play of muscles under skin, little knowing that she was doing exactly the same. Though the bridge was short, it was a long and silent journey for them both.
Finally reaching the other side a flustered Hiccup clambered down from an equally flustered Astrid. Making their awkward way through the stable doorway, they were surprised but frankly relieved to be greeted by a disgustingly chirpy Fishlegs.
"Hey guys!" he called them over, waving and smiling, looking fresh as an oleander, "I was just wondering where you were. Wow, you look awful, you're both bright red and Hiccup, I can see you sweating! Are you feeling alright?"
"Red? Sweating? I have no idea why that would be…I've got a bit of a headache, that's all." Eager the change the subject, he asked, "Are Toothless and Stormfly here?"
Fishlegs nodded. "Stormfly is. I just gave her breakfast. She's all good in the archipela-hood. No Toothless though."
Astrid stood hands on hips and surveyed Fishlegs. "No offence, Fishlegs, but how are you so damn chipper? I feel like I've gone ten rounds with the Screaming Death, and you're just Mr Sunshine. What gives? The last thing I remember of you at the party was… was…" She wrinkled her brow, then quirked an eyebrow at her chunky friend. "You were arguing with Snot and then…and then you were…Fishlegs, am I remembering this right?"
Fishlegs groaned.
...
"What exactly do you mean Snotlout?" Fishlegs' voice held a hard edge which was incongruous next to the tiny paper umbrella sticking jauntily out of his cup. "Why is it a good job that Meatlug is immune to dragon root?"
The riders were strewn in messy heaps around Snotlout's hut, the twins in chairs, Hiccup and Astrid leaning against Toothless on the floor, Snotlout holding court by the fireplace. Everyone was on at least their third cup of Spitelout's brew and the atmosphere was decidedly relaxed. At least it had been until Snotlout decided to start comparing dragons.
"All I meant was at least she won't go crazy if she gets shot. Because she is the most likely to get shot isn't she? Slowest dragon, least manoeuvrable dragon, chunkiest dragon. And the same for the rider. So it's good she has some advantages. Odin, don't get so worked up. It's just logic." Snotlout smiled, evidently pleased with his intelligent analysis.
"Logic!" Fishlegs snarled back, "Since when are you logical, Mr If-my-trousers-aren't-on-fire-it's-been-a-good-day? I'll have you know Meatlug and I are both very light on our feet!"
"Yeah, yeah, sure."
"Right." Fishlegs knocked back the remainder of his drink in one gulp and stood, swaying only slightly. "Everyone. Outside."
Five minutes later, the group stood down in the dome, unanimously open-mouthed as they watched a panting Fishlegs twirl and leap gymnastically around the circle to a beat only he could hear.
"You have to hand it to him," Ruff said admiringly as Fishlegs executed a near-perfect roll and dropped into the splits, "Fishlegs certainly has the moves. I haven't seen him flip like that since he was Thor Bonecrusher! Maybe we should keep him drunk or hypnotised all the time! Remember Thor Bonecrusher Snotlout?"
Snotlout, still clutching his keg under one arm, sniffed and wiped an eye with his free hand. "Don't it's too painful."
"Ah, Hiccup?" Astrid broke in, frowning "As much fun as this is, do we really need to see whatever he's about to do with that pole….?"
"Oh my Thor…..Give it up for Fishlegs everyone! Wooohooo!" Hiccup started an enthusiastic round of applause, the others joining in with differing levels of energy.
Fishlegs twirled to a dramatic halt and took a small, smug bow, smirking at Snotlout. "See? Grace and bulk, fly like a gronckle, sting like a speed stinger."
Unfortunately, the effect was immediately spoiled as he turned green and belched "Too much spinning" before running off behind a bush, from which some very unpleasant noises emerged.
"Ahhh, yak like a gronckle too eh, Fishy?" Snotlout laughed. "Come on big guy; let's get you somewhere to lie down. The stables is nearest, you can cuddle Meatlug until you feel better. Tuff!" he tossed the keg to his dreadlocked friend, "Take that up to the clubhouse, it's where I left your snacks."
Tuff caught the keg, and grinned, balancing it on Toothless. "T, could you carry that? Allonz-y mon amis, you are in for a treat. I made the snacks myself."
Hiccup and Astrid shared a cautious glance. "And exactly how much salt did you use this time Tuff?"
Snotlout hoisted a very pale Fishlegs to his feet and began to shuffle him away, the bigger guy now noticeably slurring. "Snotlout, I luv you…d'ya know, y'one m' best frens. And I love As'rid and H'cup and Ruffnut and Tuffnut. All the nuts. An' Meatlug too 'course…she's the cutest likkle drgan who ever flew, and so smart, and so pretty…."
"Yeah, yeah, Fishlegs, she's awesome, come on, let's get you to bed…."
...
"I was perhaps a little worse for wear," Fishlegs admitted with a dignified air, "But we Ingermans have always had iron constitutions. It's all that coagulated yak's milk we drink. Lines the stomach. You should try it. Meatlug and I are having it for breakfast, shall we save you some?"
Hiccup's own stomach lurched at the thought and he broke out in a fresh sweat. "No, no thank you."
"Suit yourselves. Meatlug!" He called for the little brown dragon who came happily scampering out to him. "Come on girl, it should be good and thick by now. Let's go eat!" They flew off towards Fishlegs' hut leaving Hiccup wearing a disgusted expression. "Is it me, or is that just a little gross?"
"Yeah gross," Astrid chuckled, "but all that twirling? If only we could harness that power when he's sober!"
They both laughed and some of Astrid's rather messy braid fell into her face. Instinctively, Hiccup reached up and tucked it back behind her ear "Here, let me…" Then he froze, hand still cupping the back of her head. "Sorry, I…."
Suddenly he was very conscious of how tightly they were holding each other, and just how long they'd been holding each other for. Admittedly, it was just to help him stand, but the way his arm fit around her, it just felt, well, it felt, right. Astrid's eyes locked to Hiccup's and her heart stopped at the look in them. He took a step towards her, not really being sure of his intentions. Unfortunately he used the leg that wasn't there and fell heavily into her, making her stumble. Astrid balanced them both, pushing him up and a bit further away. Ruefully, he rubbed his neck as she chuckled again.
"So, spare leg?"
"Spare leg."
o0o
The saddlebag was easy to find and Hiccup sat to attach his spare while Astrid chatted with Stormfly.
"She ok?" he asked.
"She's fine. Ready for a fly but I've promised her chicken if she'll wait until this afternoon, not sure my stomach will take one of her barrel rolls yet."
"Mine wouldn't. Next time anyone suggests 'just one drink', let's tell them where to stick it eh?" he cast his eyes around the stables. Hookfang and Barf and Belch were still dozing, Stormfly happily preening under Astrid's stroking hands and Meatlug had gone with Fishlegs. Only the Night Fury was unaccounted for. "Where can Toothless be? It's not like him to not be around in the morning; usually he's ready to head out as soon as the sun comes up."
"Relax, Hiccup, he'll be fine, he's probably still in bed. Toothless is clever enough to have realised that you wouldn't be in any shape to fly this morning. I bet he took the chance to have a lie in. Let's head up to your hut and I'm sure…"
"HOOKFANG!" the frantic bellow rent the air, "HOOKFANG! Get over here!"
Astrid's head snapped round, searching for the source of the noise. She pointed.
"Clubhouse."
Even with rolling stomachs and pounding heads they reached the clubhouse just before the red dragon ambling casually behind them. Snotlout was just outside the building itself on the ground nearby. Well, actually, in the ground. Astrid took one look and started giggling. Hiccup approached the prostrate figure carefully. "Snotlout? What happened?"
"Hiccup!" Snotlout gasped in relief, reaching out to grab Hiccup's arm "Thank Thor, there's been a terrible accident. I think I'm blind and I can't move my legs. My beautiful eyes, Hiccup, my beautiful legs, ruined!"
Astrid snorted and even Hiccup's mouth twitched as he knelt down.
"Actually, Snotlout, you're not blind, you're wearing my Death Song amber goggles. And you can't move your legs because, because, well, you're buried."
"I'm what?"
"Let go of the arm Snot, it's sore. You're buried. Your legs anyway. Hookfang, want to give me a hand here?"
Two minutes of pulling and scrabbling later and Snotlout was dragged out of the shallow hole and back to standing. He grimaced, rubbing blood back into the squashed limbs as he leaned on his dragon. "Why was I in a hole? And why am I wearing these?" He pulled the goggles off and brandished them in Hiccup's puzzled face. Astrid was now sitting on the floor clutching her stomach and as her shoulders shook with silent giggles.
"You don't remember?"
"No, I don't remember. I remember putting Fishlegs to sleep in the stables. I remember coming up to the clubhouse, eating Tuff's godsawful snacks, I remember having another cup of brew. And then…all a blur. I don't re…..why are you still laughing?"
Astrid whooped and waved her hand at Snotlout as she fought for the breath to choke out, "Ruff did it."
"Why would Ruffnut bury me in a hole?"
"Because….because…." Astrid sucked in air and wiped at the tears pouring down her cheeks, "Oh, gods, my stomach! Because you were hitting on her."
"I was not!" Snotlout exclaimed vehemently, going pale. "I did not hit on Ruffnut!"
Astrid's laughter triggered Hiccup's memory, and he grinned.
"I hate to break it to you Snot, but I think you kinda did."
...
Cups refilled, snacks eaten (or mainly passed under the table to Toothless when Tuff wasn't paying attention) Astrid, Hiccup, Tuffnut and even Toothless were staring, aghast, at the scene unfolding across the table. It was like watching a mid-air collision, tragic but impossible to look away. Where Fishlegs had become a sloppy drunk, Snotlout was apparently an affectionate one, and he'd turned his attentions to Ruffnut. She did not seem that impressed.
"What did you just say to me?" she glared.
"I said, 'I can see why you like hanging out with Chicken, because your beauty is impeccable'. Get it? Im-PECK-able?"
"Sweet Freyja singing. And why are you wearing those stupid goggles?"
Snotlout had picked up the death song goggles Hiccup had left behind earlier after working and put them on, affecting an air of casualness that just screamed 'please ask me what I'm doing…!'.
"Because, oh lovely Ruffnut, your eyes shine so brightly, I fear I might go blind without them…"
The four spectators groaned and he snapped at them, "What? Ruffnut thinks I'm funny, don't you gorgeous?"
"Actually Snotlout, I think you're an idiot."
"Ah, maybe, but I'm the birthday idiot, yes? And it's practically the law that you have to be nice to me on my birthday…."
"Snotlout," Tuffnut butted in, "can I just save you the embarrassment and tell you, you are not my sister's type. As far as she has a type, which is not that far. She goes for burly guys, with lots of tattoos. Which you, my friend, do not have."
Snotlout gazed at Ruffnut with a look that Astrid guessed was meant to be sincerity, but in fact made him look like he was trying to see his own eyebrows.
"For you, Princess, I would get a tattoo. I would get ten tattoos"
She leaned in close. "Really?"
"Really really."
"Great!" Ruffnut jumped up. "I 'borrowed' Mom's kit last time we were on Berk. I was going to practise on Tuff but he's too much of a light-sleeper. But if you're up for it, just wait here!"
As she ran in the direction of their hut Snot turned a horrified expression on the rest of his friends. "What did I just agree to?"
"Sit still Snotlout, or you'll mess it up! I can't see what I'm doing if you keep flinching!"
Ruffnut had unrolled a leather pouch, scattering needles and ink bottles across the clubhouse table and was now holding Snotlout's chin in one hand and an inked needle in the other. Snotlout was following the wavering point with frightened eyes, affectionate drunk now apparently terrified drunk.
"We should start with something simple, maybe just a few lines across the chin? What do you think brother?"
"I concur, sister. He has the bone structure to carry it off. Though not too thick a line, we don't want people thinking he's a Berserker".
Hiccup had to say something. "Guys, is this really a good idea?"
Ruff smiled as she eyed her 'canvas'. "Relax, Hiccup, I'm a really good artist."
"Actually, she is," Tuff added, "Mom lets her paint all our Snoggletog cards. And they don't all feature hideous maiming by fallen decorations. Some are about the results of festive food-poisoning, or slipping on ice. It's all very seasonal."
"Ok, Snotlout, starting in one…two…"
"Yagggaaarrgghh!" Snotlout leapt to his feet clutching his chin and headed for the open door, "Sorry Ruff, changed my mind!"
"Oh no you don't!" Ruffnut yelled, chasing after him "What happened to 'Princess'? You get your butt back here young man!"
Tuffnut leapt to his feet too. "Gotta go. Looks like I've got family honour to defend. Plus it will be really fun to watch Ruff go full Nut on someone else for a change…."
In the sudden silence, Hiccup and Astrid both took a stunned drink. She looked at him.
"If this is what it's like to have kids, I have to apologise to my parents."
...
"And then she came back ten minutes later saying they'd buried you alive for being a wimp." Hiccup finished "We checked on you but you'd fallen asleep and refused to move. How did I forget that?"
"Dad's homebrew," Snotlout replied in a groan, "It does strange things to your brain. Obviously... And now, if you don't mind, I'm going to take Hookfang and find a nice quiet cave where I can die of embarrassment in peace. I'll see you in, maybe ten years. Me and Ruffnut Thorston? Urrgh, as if."
Mounting Hookfang's neck he turned and looked down. "Mind you, at least I didn't get a tattoo. That would have been embarrassing. Those things are for always!"
"Yeah, always…" Hiccup muttered, watching Snot fly off. He didn't even notice that he was rubbing his arm again. Astrid similarly paid no attention to the fact that her hand was once more on her hip.
"So," she began, as Hiccup reached down to pull her back to her feet. "Still missing in action, Toothless and the Twins. Who do we need to find first?"
"I think the question is, who is more likely to be causing chaos or needing help?"
"Right then, Twins it is." She started to march off in the direction of the Thorston hut.
"Astrid?"
"Yes?"
"I have my leg on now. You...you don't have told hold my hand anymore."
"Oh, right sure. Okay". She dropped it, slowly.
o0o
As they neared the Twin's hut, the sound of bickering filtered out of the open door.
"Seems like situation normal…" Astrid muttered as the voices reached shouting level.
"I can't believe you did this! To me! I mean, Snotlout is one thing, but me? Your own brother?"
"And I keep telling you that it isn't my fault! It's Snotlout's fault, him and his stupid party! That Spitelout Special is lethal!"
"If Mom were here, you'd be in big trouble lady, big big trouble! Marking her firstborn and favourite son."
"You're her only son!"
Hiccup poked his head round the door.
"Erm, hello? Guys? Everything ok?"
Startlingly, Tuffnut dropped from the rafters to land next to Astrid and Hiccup. His skinny chest was heaving with emotion.
"Everything okay? Everything okay? No, everything is not okay! Last night, we buried Snotlout, right, and then we had a few more drinks in the clubhouse before bed? Did I do anything to offend Ruffnut? Anything at all? Anything to deserve…THIS?"
Ripping up his tunic, Tuffnut displayed his pale abdomen, now decorated with thick green runes. Astrid gasped and stifled a giggle. Tuff moaned theatrically.
"She got me, Hiccup, while I slept. She got me at last. So. Help me out, I can't read upside down. What does it say?"
Hiccup reluctantly peered at Tuff's stomach.
"I love Ruffnut."
Tuff blinked. "Wow, Hiccup that's great. Unexpected, but great. Very touching and all, I'll be pleased to welcome you to the family. She's a total pain as a sister, but I'm sure as a wife she'll be fine. Just keep her away from needles. But really, I do actually want to know what it says."
"Tuffnut, you muttonhead," Astrid sighed, "That is what it says. 'I love Ruffnut'."
Tuffnut paled, then went red, then paled again. "What? I have to go the rest of my life with her stupid name on me? What is that going to do for my manly reputation?
Astrid was sceptical. "You have a manly reputation?"
"Well, maybe, maybe not, but I'm not likely to get one now am I? My sister's name written all over my belly! What can I do, what can I do? I know, I'll head to Fireworm Island and let one of the little buggers crawl all over me, that should get rid of this… thing. And I'll get a really cool scar! Better eat first though, the smell of burning flesh always makes me want a yak-bacon sandwich." He yelled up to the top floor where Ruff was still hiding. "But don't think I'm making one for you, missy!"
"Actually Tuff," Hiccup said, peering closer and licking his finger tip, "I think, if you'll excuse me one second…." He dragged his wet finger through the 'I' of 'I love Ruffnut'. It smeared. "Yep. Thought so. Just ink."
"Ink? Really?"
"LOKI'D!" yelled Ruff, dropping down to the floor in the same way her brother had, "Gotcha. Though you spoiled it a bit there Hiccup, I was planning to let him get to Fireworm Island and tell him once he was burning, that would have been way funnier." She sighed. "Oh well, come on bro, let's get Barf and Belch, take them down to the sea and get you cleaned up." They headed to the door, Tuff still grumbling.
"You want me to wash? When it isn't even our birthday?"
"Oh stop whining you big baby," Ruff replied "You won't melt." She stopped just at the entrance, "Hey, Hiccup, just thought, I looked in Mom's kit this morning and I'm almost out of ink. I don't remember much after burying old Snotlout, so I'm not sure where it went. I know I used the green on Tuff this morning, but there's no blue either, or black. Any ideas?"
Hiccup ran his fingers through his hair, face flushing inexplicably. "No, Ruff, no idea, sorry. Astrid?"
"Me?" she startled, "Erm no, black you say? No, no ideas either."
"Strange. Could have sworn I had some. Never mind, I'll tell her Tuff took it. Catch you later guys."
o0o
"If you ask me," Astrid said as they walked over the bridge leading towards their huts, "It sounds a good job there are bits of last night we can't remember. It gets weirder and weirder. Fishlegs danced, threw up and went to bed with a gronckle. Snotlout celebrated turning nineteen by making cheesy advances at the woman least likely to be receptive, after me of course, and got himself buried alive. Ruffnut tried to ink everyone and Tuffnut was used as parchment. If anything else happened, I'm not sure I want to know! Mind you, how did we end up in Snotlout's bed?"
Hiccup scratched his head again. "Not sure. I think once the Twins left we decided to take the keg back to his hut. There was actually some brew left in it then."
"Oh, yeah." She nodded "We drank that?"
"Yeah, I think we did, and then we...I don't know…talked. But I don't remember actually going to bed, it must have been…Toothless!"
"Toothless?"
"There!"
She followed his pointing finger and, sure enough, there was the black dragon they'd been searching for, holding something in his mouth and racing towards them.
"Toothless!" Hiccup called as they collided, "Good to see you bud! Where have you been?" He gave the black hide under his fingers a vigorous scratching. "Didn't want to stay at Snotlout's? Can't blame you, I don't think we would have if we'd had the choice. But we were a bit, you know, tipsy and I seem to have lost my leg so there wasn't much...hey. What do you have in your mouth?"
Toothless grinned his gummy smile and onto the floor dropped the missing leg, dripping with spit.
"Ew, thanks bud. We've been looking for that! How come you have it?"
Cocking his head to one side, Toothless and his huge green eyes gave Hiccup one of his 'looks'.
"Oh, right."
...
Back at Snotlout's, the fire was burning very low as Hiccup dipped the keg for the last cup.
"Just the one, we'll have to share."
He took a swallow and passed it to Astrid, who was sitting on the floor by the hearth. "Did we really just have Toothless cart that keg back up here, just so we could finish it off?"
"Seems so. Sorry bud," he patted the dragon, who was curled up by Astrid, as he joined them on the rug. "I'll make it up to you. But it would be a shame to waste it. It's pretty tasty stuff don't you think? I wonder what it would be like warm. We should have tried it, I bet it makes a good hot cup. Sorry, I'm babbling, aren't I?"
Astrid passed the drink back. His fingers brushed hers as he took it and she jumped a little. Watching the way his hair reflected red in the firelight, the way the light made his freckles stand out and his eyes look greener, the way his throat moved as he swallowed, she couldn't help it.
"You're the good Hotcup," she murmured.
"Sorry?"
"I said," but her courage failed her, "I said, you should drink up."
"Oh."
In the silence that followed, Hiccup just looked at Astrid. He looked at her near- flawless skin, her strong arms, her intricate braid. He looked at her blue eyes, her long, shapely legs, her finely-made fingers and her smile. He looked and looked and looked at her until just looking wasn't enough anymore. The 'Spitelout Special' still humming in his veins, he reached out and took her hand.
"Astrid… I want… lets…" But what were the words he wanted? Toothless shifted between them and he was hit with inspiration. "Let's go for a fly. You love night-flying and it's a gorgeous night! Let's go see some stars."
"Hiccup!" she giggled, "We can't, I'm far too muddle-headed, and so are you. How will you balance to steer Toothless? Plus, he looks really sleepy, he won't be impressed."
"Rubbish! He wouldn't mind, would you bud? Come on! Up you get!"
Hiccup prodded Toothless, who was particularly unresponsive. Then he poked him and then pushed him with similar results. Finally, he wrapped both arms around the dragon's neck and attempted to lift him up bodily.
"Just give us a minute, Astrid, he's being stubborn. Can't think where he gets it fro…whoa!"
Tooth had stood, lifting Hiccup clear off his feet. Using just his back legs he waddled across the room to Snotlout's pallet and unceremoniously dumped the clinging figure down onto the bed.
"Hey!" Hiccup protested, "What's that for? I'm not going to bed, not here!" But the alcohol had finally reached his limit and his head swam. He yawned. "Maybe I'll lie down, just for one second. Only a second mind you." He was asleep before his head hit the pillow. Toothless looked at his sprawled-out rider, then delicately used his teeth on the fastenings for Hiccup's prosthetic, worrying them until they gave out and the metal foot fell away.
"Great idea." Astrid said approvingly, "Now he can't get any silly ideas about flying in the night. Or wandering about the Edge for that matter. Uuuaahh…" she yawned and stretched. "Sorry boy, guess I'm tired too. Any chance of a ride to my…oh, okay." Toothless was nudging her with his nose, pushing her towards the other side of the bed, where she lay down. "I guess one minute can't hurt. But I'm not sleeping here all night…" Her protests faded as she too slipped off into sleep. Toothless waited until tipsy snores from both occupants of the bed filled the room then, after dragging a blanket up to cover them both, judged it safe to make his way to his own sleeping stone. He took Hiccup's foot with him. Maybe one day, he thought, these two would sort themselves out, and he wouldn't have to keep dealing with all this nonsense.
...
"Good call bud, don't drink and fly, eh?" Hiccup patted Toothless on the nose.
"So Astrid, last mystery solved. We went back to Snotlout's with the keg, finished it up, talked about Thor knows what and then Toothless decided it was time we went to bed. Which sounds like an idea to me. Shall we? Go to bed?"
"Hiccup Horrendous Haddock, that's a very forward invitation!"
Crimson, he stuttered, "Hey, I didn't mean… I wasn't suggesting that we…Astrid! Are you teasing me?"
"Yes." She laughed softly. "But bed sounds a very good idea. I'll see you this afternoon. Maybe a fly, yes?" She turned toward her hut, then turned back, suddenly laughing. "When the Twins turn nineteen, maybe we should send them back to Berk. Ruffnut and her needles might be safer there! Can you imagine if she'd actually gotten hold of anyone? Snotlout with chin stripes. Fishlegs would have been covered in Gronckles. Those things are for forever you know." Her hand hovered around her hip. "Well, sleep well Hiccup."
Hiccup watched her go, palm down on his forearm, eyes tracking her right to her door.
"Yes I know. For always." He sighed. "Sleep well, Milady. Come on Toothless, help a one-legged, hung-over Viking to bed"
o0o
It was no real surprise to either of them to discover as they were changing for sleep that Ruffnut was indeed quite the artist, even if she couldn't quite remember creating the art. And if Astrid never mentioned the tiny black Night Fury curled on her hip, well, Hiccup didn't talk about the sinuous blue Nadder twining up his forearm either. And if either of them blushed when the subject of Snotlout's birthday and the 'almost tattoo' was brought up, then that was their business. As long as she wore her skirt and he kept his vambraces on, nobody else needed to know what part of the other they carried on their skin. It was just one more mystery. After all, it wasn't likely that Hiccup and Astrid would ever be seeing each other without their clothes on…was it?