Merlin seemed to come out of his shell after getting the puppy, he would walk in the grounds and play for hours with her and they soon became inseparable. The back garden was well protected and secure. As an added bonus he also seemed to become more outgoing and confidant. Arthur continued to be cautious, but he was desperate to get more intimate with Merlin, they had repeated the earlier intimacy but had not progressed further.

As a result Arthur found himself thinking back to some of Nimueh's comments. He had been determined to allow Merlin to do his own thing and not brain wash him, but without even realising it he started to use some of her suggestions, making Merlin feel more dependent on him, but in a subtle way. Arthur continued to insist Merlin only go out with two of his men and only when he knew about it. That was for practical reasons. Arthur was genuinely worried that Merlin would be attacked again. But he also realised that it made Merlin feel safer, and this less likely to go against his wishes. Added to that Arthur also mentioned that Merlin's parents had not been able to protect him like he could that he would never endanger Merlin. This angered Merlin to start with.

"My parents can protect me" he shouted when Arthur first brought the subject up.

Arthur took Merlin by the shoulders and looked the younger man in the eye. "Last time you got kidnapped! I know they do their best, they don't have the facilities I have, nor the men at my disposal, before that you got attacked in the shop and could have died. I love you too much to risk you, let me care for you please."

Merlin realised that Arthur had a point but added. "When I was kidnapped your men were watching me! And anyway, that was because of you!" he added hating to put the blame on the blonde after al he had done.

"All the more reason for my men to stay very close. I know your parents would want you safe, why else would your father encourage you to stay here?" Merlin dropped the argument, realising Arthur's points were valid and that the blonde made him feel safer. "I would do anything for you Merlin, even if it upset me to keep you safe. That's what love is about." Arthur added softly, not pushing the point.

Merlin looked at Arthur guiltily and that night started to worry that he was not being fair to the blonde in not trying to take their relationship further, after all Arthur was right, he was doing so much for him, even getting him a dog when he wasn't that keen on pets. Merlin felt he was doing so little in return.

Arthur also slowly he made Merlin doubt his own decision making, making sure Merlin consulted him about everything before making any choices. Even with clothing, slowly Merlin stopped wearing the tight jeans he loved as he knew Arthur hated anyone else seeing him in them. Arthur was sure to not say anything but would eye roll and get in a huff. This made Merlin feel guilty and what to make it up to Arthur, slowly he found himself liking the more formal and expensive clothes Arthur and Morgana bought him.

One evening as they sat together watching television and cuddling Arthur had slowly put the palm of his hand on Merlin's lap before removing it quickly and reluctantly, as he looked longingly at the younger man. "I'm sorry Merlin, I shouldn't have done that, I am trying so hard to respect your wishes. But I love you so much I find it hard. I just wish you could love me."

Merlin immediately looked guilty "I do love you! I am trying Arthur I really am" Merlin protested. "It's so hard"

"I know, but it's hard on me to, I will never force you, you know I will do anything for you" Arthur kissed him gently making Merlin feel even worse. He knew Arthur wanted him and the blonde was right, he did do an awful lot for him, once again he thought he ought to try harder to be intimate. Merlin had tried to pay him back by cooking and keeping the place tidy. Even though they had a cleaner. Merlin had even stopped asking the gang members up to the flat for meals, instead just accepting that Arthur would invite them when he wanted. He also did his best to avoid Gwaine and his flirting behaviour by staying close to Arthur when the other man was in their rooms. He liked Gwaine and saw him as an almost brother, but he had seen how Arthur glared at the brunette when he flirted.

Gradually Merlin had even stopped asking his friends to visit so often, knowing that Arthur worked hard and wanted to spend his down time alone together. Even if it was an unexpected afternoon off. Merlin wanted so much to give Arthur what he wanted it was eating him up with guilt. The more the thought about it the more he knew he had to make a real effort, surely with someone he loved it wouldn't be so bad. He raised the issue with Gaius one day.

"Gaius do you think I will ever be able to be fully intimate with anyone again" he blushed as he spoke. Over the years the two of them had discussed everything, but he still found it embarrassing at times.

"Take your time Merlin" the old man had told him. "If you feel ready talk to Arthur and explain what you are willing to do. Don't push yourself Arthur will wait if he truly loves you."

"But I want to! I don't want to be like this forever!" he paused "I do love Arthur and he is so patient with me, I know he wants to do more"

"It's not about what Arthur wants." Gaius said kindly "But what you want. You do know don't you that some gay couples never have penetrative sex. There is so much else you can do together. Think about it carefully Merlin, you have been through a lot and have come on so far. At one time I thought you would never find your special person. I know your mother has reservations about Arthur and if I am honest so do I, a gang boss isn't what we would have wanted for you but you cannot rule your heart and it's what you want that matters."

"Thank you, it's embarrassing talking, but I needed to, Nimueh used to talk a lot about it and what she said made sense…I do need my life back."

Gaius snorted "Merlin I have had far more embarrassing conversations over the years believe me. This is tame, and if it helps you can always talk to me about anything. I told you before, follow your heart and have no regrets. We are on this planet for such a short time, I realise as I have got older that we should take what we want from life as long as we don't harm others. Your relationship with Arthur is your business and no matter what the rest of us think you have to live your life. We will always be there for you"

Merlin spent the next few weeks thinking seriously about his life and what he wanted. He loved Arthur of that he was sure. Why the blonde loved him was another matter, but it was clear he did by all the things he did for him. Having made up his mind one night as Merlin led spooned in Arthur's arms and before they slept he started to speak nervously.

"Arthur?" his voice was tentative and quivering.

"Yes my sweet" came the sleepy reply. Arthur had had a very busy day with Gwaine sorting out some of the problems that had arisen in the new territory.

"I want …I think I want….. I mean…" Merlin stuttered to a halt not sure how to continue.

Arthur became instantly more awake. It was unlike Merlin to sound so lost. He pulled the younger man round so they were facing, he could just make out Merlin's face from the low levels of light in the room. "Merlin you know you can say anything to me, don't you? Don't be frightened"

Merlin closed his eyes unable to face Arthur as he spoke such was his embarrassment. It was one think talking to Gaius about such things, but this was different. "IthinkIwanttogofurther" he spat out. Then forcing himself to be calmer added "I do love you and …" even them he couldn't put words to it. Taking a deep breath as Arthur remained silent Merlin spoke "I want to try…fucking" his voice getting quieter and quieter.

Arthur's breath caught as he understood what Merlin was offering him. He knew even now he would need to be careful. And with patience he didn't know he had he hugged Merlin "Are you sure?"

Merlin nodded unable to say more. He could feel himself tensing, as indeed could Arthur. The finally he added "I want to try"

Arthur kissed his forehead. "Merlin I want to make love to you so much, you have no idea. Because that's what we will do, not fuck, we love each other that makes it different than anything you experience before, for me as well. I've had partners before but no one I have loved." He continued to pepper Merlin's face with kisses. "Kiss me Merlin" he asked as he rubbed Merlin's back and caressed him gently.

Slowly Merlin started to relax into Arthur's arms, the blonde muttered endearments at his partner as he slowly aroused the younger man. He himself had become fully aroused as soon as he had understood what Merlin was offering him. After some heavy petting Arthur stopped and spoke softly. "I am going to touch you, just relax, nothing will happen yet. Then when and if you are ready I will gently push a finger into you, it will sting a bit, but ride it out I promise it gets better." Then he stopped and asked "Merlin have you ever touched yourself…..inside?

"no, can't!" came the shocked cry.

"Do you want to try?"

"No! you do it!" Merlin gasped his voice full of fear. "Please just do it"

Arthur moved and opened his bedside draw and removed some lube. Then carefully he did as he had said. Merlin tensed up once more and Arthur continued slowly and gently, once he had inserted his little finger he stopped "How does it feel? Can I continue?"

Merlin couldn't trust himself to speak, his mind kept going back to his assault. "Go on"

Arthur added another finger and then moved then until he knew Merlin had got used to the feel then crooking his finger he touched Merlin's prostrate. The slender man gasped "Whattt?"

Arthur smirked "That was good wasn't it?" he repeated the movement. He continued very slowly to continue stretching Merlin, then he stopped "Turn onto your back Merlin, it will be easier the first time."

"No!" came the panicked voice. "Want to see you."

Arthur stopped realising Merlin was just short of panicking "I think we have gone far enough this time." He bent and kissed Merlin "There is something I can do for you." he said as he smiled lovingly down at the other man. "Something I was going to do before but I surprised you." Arthur let his eyes drop from Merlin's face to travel down his body. "Let me take care of that for you."

It wasn't until that moment that Merlin realised that the stimulation had made him hard. Something that was very rare for him. As he watched Arthur lick his lips he understood what the blonde wanted to do and blushed a deep red. "Really?" he squawked.

Arthur rolled his eyes fondly "Yes really, you will love this, can I? I made you a promise." Arthur added so Merlin was still in control, or at least felt he was. There was no way Arthur could stop now but the younger man didn't have to know that.

Merlin gave the smallest nod and Arthur accepted it for a yes. By the time Arthur had finished he had Merlin in a state of bliss. Arthur had rarely given blow jobs in the past, he much preferred to be in the dominant position. He had always, until now, felt that he never wanted to allow another man's fluids in his mouth, but with Merlin he had just wanted to taste the man, to see him breakdown in such a way. He wasn't disappointed and decided that with Merlin anything was possible. But then he had never been in love before. There was just one more step to go and that could wait for another day. After Merlin had climaxed and Arthur had followed him after taking care of himself the two men cuddled up. MerLin whispering as he fell asleep "I never knew"

The slept until a small puppy started to wine for attention. Arthur looked across at the sleeping man at his side and decide do to let him sleep. He got up a real smile on his face as he picked up Aithusa and hugged her. "You were worth every penny. Keep quiet I will get someone to take you out little one." Arthur pulled on a pair of trousers and took the puppy down to the next floor and told the guards there to let the puppy out but to keep a close eye on her.

With that he returned to have a shower and wait for Merlin to wake. That day was one of the vest Arthur could remember, his guilt at how he had tried to manipulate his lover was lowered when he realised how much Merlin seemed to be happier. He felt fully justified when later Merlin admitted he had no idea that what Arthur had did could be so pleasurable, and shyly asked if one day he could try to do the same thing in return. It took all of Arthur's self-control not to take Merlin straight back to bed. But he realised he needed to go slowly if he was to achieve his ultimate goal.

The next day when Arthur drove Merlin to his parents so he could show off the puppy his parents immediately noticed the difference in Merlin. He seems lighter and more at ease with himself, but at the sometime they noticed how the two men seemed to stick even closer together than before. While Hunith spoke to Arthur, Balinor cornered his son during the visit.

"Is everything OK son?" he asked.

Merlin gave him a blinding smile "Yes dad"

"Is he being good to you, not being to possessive?" the older man was puzzled, he knew it couldn't just be the dog. Merlin seemed almost frightened to be away from Arthur's side.

Merlin blushed and looked embarrassed. Balinor didn't need his son to say anything "You've become intimate, haven't you?"

Merlin blushed even more "Dad!" he protested glancing at Arthur to make sure he couldn't hear. "I can't tell you that!"

"You don't need to, I can see you have changed. Just be happy son"

Merlin looked at his father "I am, I haven't…..we haven't…not everything but we will. I am doing it Dad, putting the past behind me."

Balinor raised his eyebrows at his son "I don't need the details, just as long as you are happy. I know your mum and me weren't happy at first, but if he makes you feel good about yourself then we support you." He squeezed his sons shoulder "Go one get back to him, I remember what it was like to be young and in love."

With that Merlin moved back to Arthur's side and the blonde tugged him in close and smiled down at him.

Over the next weeks to two men successfully moved forward to full sex life. The first couple of times they took it very slow, and the first time they had made love Merlin had been tense and didn't really enjoy it. But it did show him that it could be nowhere near as painful as his past experience had made him believe it would be. Each time after was better for him. Merin finally relaxed enough to take full pleasure in the act and after when they were cuddled up Merlin turned to face Arthur, looked him in the eye and said quietly "Thank you, you have changed my life. I am sorry I took so long to do this. You have been patient with me and I don't deserve you."

Arthur felt his heart squeeze at how apologetic and meek Merlin was. He knew deep down he had not been helping Merlin's self-confidence, that he had been manipulating Merlin, so they could have a fully sex life. But he wasn't sorry, now he would build his lover back up again. He really didn't want a meek sex slave as Nimueh had suggested. He nuzzled into Merlin's neck "Thank you for trusting me, I can't believe how happy you have made me, I love you so much, it is I who do not deserve you. You are the other half of my coin, together we will make the changes for the better I want to make for the people. But I can't do it alone. You know that don't you?" Arthur smiled at the younger man. "Just never doubt I love you and would do anything for you, anything at all." And he had, but Merlin would never know that, not if Arthur had his way.