Author's Note: Hi! Couple of things to address before this chapter. First off, sorry about the delay. I hope to update much more frequently in the future. Considering how lazy I am though, that probably won't happen unless people start yelling at me to go faster. Threats are appreciated.

Second, it's recently come to my attention that Quill's character sheet (which can be found at myth-weavers*com/sheet*html#id=1135213, after replacing the asterisks with periods) was wrong. It contained entirely the wrong set of maneuvers, in fact, from an outdated character document! This is, quite frankly, an unforgivable error on my part. The sheet has been fixed. If you care about that sort of thing, you may want to check it, as the information may or may not be relevant to this chapter.

Thank you for reading, please review if you have the time!

o—o—o—o—o—o—o

"And he said that your familiar runes aren't in the standard references," Louise recounted to Quill as they walked into the dining hall.

"Huh. Sounds like there's homebrew being thrown into a system that's already badly made, if you ask me," Quill replied.

"What's 'homebrew,' and what system are you referring to?"

"'Homebrew' generally refers to stuff that's made up."

Louise frowned. "Professor Colbert wouldn't lie about something like that."

"I didn't say he was lying, I was saying it's made up," Quill said. "And a bad system is whatever produced your class."

Okay, wow. That was exceptionally rude. "And I suppose your class system is so much better, with its 'pea seas'?"

"I'd certainly expect somebody with a PC class to be better at magic than an Aristocrat," Quill replied.

"Oh, yes, I forgot that Fairyland is ninety percent dukes or something," Louise said sarcastically. "And it's all well and good over there to call someone an Aristocrat when they can't even do magic. You were made a Paladin because you can cast, what, one spell?" (The emotional link went a bit funny at this point, but Quill ignored that.)

"I can cast spells from wands," Quill corrected.

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

Louise looked around for the new voice, and discovered that, for whatever godforsaken reason, Quill had chosen to seat the two of them directly across from Guiche de Gramont and Montmorency Montmorency.

"Could you please elaborate on your ability to cast spells using wands?" Montmorency said smugly. "Because Guiche was just telling me this fascinating theory of his that Louise the Zero bribed a commoner off the street to pretend to be her familiar."

Beside her, a wide-eyed Guiche fumbled for words. "But I – you aren't – you said –"

"That's interesting," Louise said testily. "Seeing as he was present at the summoning ritual, and saw the runes being inscribed. As were you," she said pointedly to Montmorency, who looked a little sheepish.

"Louise the Zero?" Quill interjected. "That's an awesome title. How did you get that?"

"You shut your damned mouth," Louise said hotly. That swine Montmorency was already smiling again.

"Oh, hasn't Louise told you yet about her particular… shall we say, proficiencies in magic?"

"Your magic has proficiencies?" Quill asked, shocked.

He was met by three very strange looks.

"I mean, what would that even do? Can there be non-proficiency penalties on attacks with touch spells and rays?"

"What exactly is he talking about, Louise?" Montmorency asked in a hushed voice, not taking her eyes off of Quill.

"I think he might be a bit off in the head," Louise replied in a normal voice, similarly staring at him. "Say Quill, what happened to shutting your damned mouth?"

"Sorry, Louise, but I have a deliberately developed tendency to not shut my damned mouth. It's a part of my style."

"What? How is that relevant to style?"

"Style is a lot more than just what you wear and how you do your hair, Louise. Not that those are unimportant, of course, but even more important are elements like my dashing confidence and lovable cluelessness, or Guiche's femininity, arrogance, and the perpetual girl hanging off his side. That title of Zero does a fair bit for your style, actually."

Montmorency frowned. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"'Zero' is not a title, and it is most certainly not a part of my 'style'!"

"Aw, but Louise, it's so cool though! It invokes notions of the absolute and impervious, it's, it's like the sort of thing you might call a really skilled assassin or something!"

"No, I… what was that thing about Guiche, and girls?" Montmorency asked. "I'm not 'perpetually hanging off his side'."

Quill shrugged. "I don't know, this is only the second time I've met him. Seemed pretty significant to his aesthetic though."

"This is the first time I've talked to you," Montmorency said slowly. She turned to look at Guiche, who was sweating bullets.

Louise sighed and buried her face in her hands.

"Uh… Mon Mon, I can explain," Guiche said shakily.

"Please do," Montmorency replied, stony-faced.

"Well, uh… He must have been referring to the ceremony where he was summoned!" Guiche said. "In a sense, he 'met' us at that point as well!"

Montmorency considered this. She had been with Guiche at that point. "That makes sense," she said.

"Haha, yes, of course it does! You know I would never hide anything from you, Mon–"

"Familiar boy. Were you referring to the time that you were summoned as our first meeting?"

"Uh, no. I guess that makes a third time, but it hardly counts. I was talking about the lobby, about forty minutes ago I think."

Montmorency turned back to Guiche.

"Well, he, I –"

"Did you meet with him in the lobby?"

"Well, I, yes, I did, but I wasn't accompanied by –"

"Then why did you lie to me about that?"

"I-I! –"

"Guiche!"

In the manner of a man hearing his own funeral bells, the trembling Guiche slowly turned to face the source of the new voice as she cheerfully ran toward him across the courtyard.

"Katie," he said hollowly.

Quill looked at the brown-haired girl. "Should I know this person?" he asked Louise. He thought he heard a brief, muffled response from behind her concealment in an impenetrable mound of pink hair and hands. I'll just take that as a no then.

"Guiche!" Katie said again as she reached him, panting. Montmorency had the approximate facial expression of a loaded firearm, and every word Katie spoke hit Guiche like a hammer blow, his eyes darting around as though to find an escape route. "I know you said we'd have lunch together tomorrow, but the weather is so nice today, and I made that soufflé that I was telling you about, I know you said you wanted to –"

Guiche saw his escape route, and desperately seized on it. He took a deep breath, raised a finger and fiercely pointed it at Quill.

"You!" Guiche proclaimed.

"Me," Quill replied.

"Eh?" the three girls said in confused unison, Montmorency momentarily forgetting her anger, Louise her exasperation, and Katie her soufflé.

"How… how very dare you!" Guiche said.

"I very dare however I damned well dare to… very damned dare… damning very well darnation… how," Quill answered, losing track of the thought somewhat.

"What is he damning? Er, daring?" Louise asked. "Has my familiar slighted you in some regard, Guiche?"

"I should say he has!" Guiche said pompously. "This peasant has been slandering my good name and sowing distrust between my beloved and I!"

"What," Louise said flatly. "That is not even slightly true. He is not, in any way, involved in your affairs of stupidity."

"Excuse me!" Quill protested. "If Guiche's name has been slandered, then I will not let stand any accusation that I had no hand in it."

"Yeah, see, he wouldn't…" Louise frowned. "I'm sorry, how does aggregation of negatives work in Albionese?"

"Then you admit to it!" Guiche crowed. "You deceived these lovely ladies, and framed me in an attempt to impugn my honor!"

"Circumstances as well as my own testimony are a strong indication that I am involved in an attempt of your framing, which is related to the relationship between the aforementioned individuals of which I am not," Quill said.

Guiche frowned, trying to puzzle that one out. "Which means that I… bear a grievance against you?"

"That is most likely the case," Quill said levelly.

Guiche's triumphant grin returned. "Then I demand an apology from you, so that I may forgive you and this sordid affair can be put behind us."

Quill smiled. "No."

Guiche's grin slipped a little bit. "Eh?"

"I will not apologize for my actions," Quill said levelly. "To do so would violate my style."

"Ah," Guiche said. "Then… it would seem that I will have to challenge you to a duel!"

Montmorency gasped, so caught up in trying to follow the drama that she put aside the absurdity of Guiche's claims for a moment. Katie looked from person to person, managing to be slightly more lost than Montmorency (primarily by virtue of not understanding Albionese). Quill smiled just a little bit ferally.

"No," Louise said. "No. No, no, no! No! This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard! Guiche, you cannot challenge my familiar to a duel!"

"He just did," Quill pointed out.

"Quill," Louise said, grinding her teeth. "Shut up. Guiche. My familiar has done nothing to slight you. He is not in any way involved in your sleazy pigheadedness, deceit, and stupidity. He is merely an idiot, and I am going to make him apologize for that, to me. In the unlikely scenario I find that he has somehow slighted you in a manner disproportionate to what you deserve, then he will apologize to me for that as well, and I will apologize to you. You will not duel him. Duelling isn't even permitted on school grounds."

"Duels between nobles aren't permitted on school grounds," Guiche corrected. "But your familiar is not a noble. Therefore it's fine."

"What? No! Duelling is explicitly a means of settling disputes between nobles! There isn't even a protocol for a commoner to accept a challenge to duel!"

"But there's probably a clause for choosing a champion to represent you, right?" Quill suggested.

"What? Well, yes, but how is that relevant?"

"Because that means he can challenge you, and then you can choose me as a champion!" Quill said excitedly. "That way the challenge is issued between two nobles, but the execution of the actual duel isn't!"

"That would work, yeah!" Guiche said. "It's even more appropriate for me to challenge Louise, since the master is considered responsible for the behavior of the familiar!"

Louise spluttered. "W- B- No! Not under any circumstances will I do that!"

"Familiar boy."

Around the table, heads turned to see that Montmorency had collected herself, and was now staring determinedly at Quill.

"Can you win?"

Louise frowned. "Of course he can't. He's, well… he can't cast spells."

Quill smiled, and this time, there was as much threat to it as mirth. "I can do it," he said. "I've fought mages before."

Montmorency looked over at Louise. "Louise," she said. "I know that you're against this, but… If there's any chance I can see Guiche violently assaultedand publicly humiliated by a commoner, then I'd really appreciate if you could help make that happen."

Louise looked at the three expectant faces (and one nervous one) of her audience.

She sighed.

"Are you serious," she stated. "Fine. Whatever. Beat him into the ground, Guiche. Just don't expect me to pay for his healing bill afterward."

She stormed off toward the castle, muttering.

Montmorency whooped, and Quill and Guiche exchanged a high-five. Katie gave a few uncertain claps.

"All right!" Quill cheered. "What are your terms then?"

"Duel to unconsciousness or submission. If I win, you have to publicly admit that you've wronged these ladies and I, and apologize for it," Guiche said.

"Agreed. And if I win, you, uh, have to apologize to them, and to Louise, for, uh, whatever they're upset about. And kiss me on the lips."

"What?"

"Guiche accepts your terms," Montmorency quickly interjected. "Vestry Court, ten minutes."

o—o—o—o

Stupid familiar. Stupid Guiche. Stupid boys and their stupid duels.

Louise stomped through a corridor, clutching her wand tightly. It trembled and hissed, the wood almost deforming under her grip. A servant cleaning up what remained of a vase from the floor looked up at her approach, blanched, then disappeared as quickly and quietly as he could manage.

Quill was going to get himself killed.

He had no reason to implicate himself in this idiocy. He had nothing to gain from it. Guiche had chosen Quill as a scapegoat, and he had leapt at the task.

And now Quill, Louise's familiar, was going to be out there, embarrassing her, representing her, getting tossed around like a ragdoll and getting his bones broken and –

Louise stopped walking and shuddered.

She should try to stop the match.

But…

She had to admit, the idea kind of appealed to her. Quill had chosen this, eagerly – to pick a fight with somebody higher than him. He… well, he hadn't disobeyed her, really, aside from on the matter of mouths and the shutting thereof… but he had definitely worked around her, contradicting her claims, working with Guiche's idiocy and baiting it into escalation. Louise had given him outs, and he had rejected them. Maybe he should feel the bruises for that.

And when he came crawling back to Louise, bloodied and helpless… Then she would have an actual position of power over him. Aside from the inherent one between familiar and master, of course. She would have earned his respect. Or, well, at least, through his stupidity, he would have lost his claim to her respect, that he had earned through being courteous and obedient, and he would need to work to regain it. That would provide ample opportunity to set some ground rules for being a familiar.

Louise smiled. It was not a nice smile.

Then she began to stride quietly toward the courtyard.

o—o—o—o—o—o—o

The two combatants stood facing each other at a distance of slightly less than the standard ten meters used for dueling. Quill had insisted on it, citing some odd sentiment about his own units being simpler to work with, and Guiche had agreed to it due to the fact that the difference at that scale was basically negligible.

A large crowd was gathered around the two. Once Montmorency had explained the situation, Katie had been very willing to help her gather people to watch, and word had spread like wildfire. With the prospects of violence, humiliation, and kissing, and with the potential that any of those might be occurring to Guiche de Gramont, almost everyone had developed at least a mild interest in the fight. Due to Quill being something of an unknown factor, bets were being made on the match; of course, Quill being a diminutive commoner, and Guiche being one of the academy's better mages, the going odds were twenty to one in the latter's favor.

Quill shifted impatiently, partly out of eagerness but mostly due to holding an aggressive stance designed for charging at opponents. He re-readied his action for the next round. It was unlikely that the duel would start without warning, but there was no sense in taking unnecessary chances. "You sure you want to do this? I've killed more men than you've slept with, pretty boy," Quill said tauntingly, engaging in the customary ritual of pre-battle trash talk. Aside from fun, trash talk counted as Perform (Oratory), allowing him to Inspire himself and gain a +1 bonus to hit and to damage.

"Ha! Is that so? Tell me, was the poor knave asleep at the time?" Guiche parried. "I think I may duel you for his honor as well, then!"

"This duel will be between Guiche de Gramont and the familiar of Louise de la Valliere, fighting in her place as champion," Montmorency announced, her voice amplified by wind magic from some helpful student. "It will end in either unconsciousness or submission. All methods are to be non-lethal, and severe or permanent injuries are –" She hesitated. "–Discouraged. In the case of Guiche's victory, the familiar will admit to going against his master's will and facilitating Guiche's two-timing and pig-headedness, and publicly apologize to all parties involved."

"N-now that's not exactly how I would state –"

Quill whooped, interrupting Guiche's attempt at protest. "Whoo yeah! Hooray for whatever she just said!"

"In the case of the familiar's victory," Montmorency continued unswayed, "Guiche himself will apologize for his duplicity to the wronged parties. Furthermore, he will absolve Louise and her familiar of any wrongdoing, and apologize for all accusations he has made of them. He will also kiss the familiar on the lips, in a public setting, for a duration no briefer than three seconds' time." There was a cheer from some of the girls in the audience.

"I feel like you've added a number of conditions that we never agreed to," Guiche objected. Montmorency sent him a glare that could shrivel a cabbage. "That is to say, uh, carry on!"

"Guiche de Gramont," Montmorency asked. "Are you ready?"

"A de Gramont is always ready," Guiche said, regaining some of his luster as he addressed this statement partially to Quill. He drew his rose-petal wand.

Quill raised an eyebrow. "You're bringing that to a duel?" he asked snidely.

"Think you to mock my choice of wand, peasant? I'll have you know that the rose is an unparalleled symbol of elegance, and I can think of no better form to represent my personage."

"Oh, it certainly does that well."

"Familiar of Zero," Montmorency asked. "Are you ready?"

"Thurgix onureth verthicha loreat *throden* kear. Versvesh clax korth persvek *vargach*, clax vivex vur clax *rasvim*," Quill said, manually drawing his Guisarme. He noticed that the runes on his hand were glowing. Maybe they would provide some sort of bonus on his attacks?

"Couldn't you have brought a sword and at least pretended to have some class?" said Guiche. "Honestly, that pointed stick makes you look both primitive and like you're compensating for something."

"Oh yeah, like I haven't heard that one before," Quill smirked. "Since I'm the one with experience, trust me when I say that size matters… and that's especially true when you handle it as well as I do."

"Oh, I'm sure you're exceptionally used to 'handling it'," Guiche replied with a superior grin.

"Are you actually ready?" Montmorency asked. "I didn't quite catch your answer."

"Oh, uh, yes. Seriously, school full of casters and nobody knows Draconic?"

Montmorency raised her wand. "Then let the duel begin!"

A loud bang sounded across the courtyard, and for the first time ever, only a single character rolled for initiative.

o—o—o—o

Louise shifted to make sure her face wasn't visible behind the shadow of her cowl. She would be present for the match, of course, but it wouldn't do to let Quill know that she cared at all.

After some consideration, she had bet 15 ecu on Quill. It was a bit crass, but she figured that as his master she probably had some sort of moral imperative to be rooting for him in even a conflict she disapproved of, and the bet was small, but large enough that it ensured which was her preferred outcome.

She was still in the process of considering whether revealing that she had made this bet on him and lost money would strengthen or weaken her case when scolding him later.

o—o—o—o

"I am known as Guiche the Bronze," Guiche said, flourishing his wand, "so your opponent today – gah!" Guiche yelped and stumbled backwards, as his field of vision was suddenly filled with Quill.

Quill simply grinned. While he had lost the initiative, he had been able to take a move action he had readied before the duel, and he had correctly guessed that Guiche wouldn't expect this – and thus wasn't casting defensively. It seemed that Guiche preferred to stop casting the spell rather than take an armor-spikes-based attack of opportunity, presumably under the assumption that the damage would be likely to cause the loss of the spell anyways. A somewhat undignified five-foot step later, it was Quill's turn.

The guisarme arced down, and rose petals burst everywhere. The crowd gasped. Quill once again stepped up to his opponent.

Quill couldn't guarantee that he could knock Guiche unconscious in one hit. He had, however, surmised from his conversation with Louise that the foci of these mages, or "wands," were quite important to their spellcasting. Thus, it would be entirely reasonable for Guiche to have a backup wand, if not several. If he didn't, Quill had just won the duel.

If Guiche did have a backup wand, he couldn't draw it in Quill's threatened area without provoking an attack of opportunity. He also presumably couldn't cast in Quill's threatened area without a chance of fizzling from a failed concentration check.

If Guiche wanted to leave Quill's threatened area, he would have to step more than five feet back, and thus provoke an AoO. This would also give Quill the opportunity to charge at him, gaining +2 on his attack roll and +2 damage from his stance.

Let's see a sword control the battlefield like that, Quill thought with satisfaction. And they saysize doesn't matter.

"You broke my wand!" Guiche said, shocked. "How very dare you!"

"I dare to very… I'm a daring person," Quill replied. "Care to surrender yet, or do you want to try out your fists and find out what being a man feels like?"

Guiche laughed. "Oh, that's funny. You're a funny person, Quill. More than I expected in combat, too. But honestly, did you really think it would be so easy? What kind of noble would I be without a backup?"

And Guiche pulled a much longer rod from his belt than Quill was expecting. For some reason, it didn't provoke an attack of opportunity. What? Is that a weapon, some kind of club or something? Does he really think he can –

Then he shouted a brief incantation, and a pillar of earth erupted, launching Quill backwards.

Oh, he's good, Quill thought as he landed prone, taking a pittance of damage in the process. Drawing a wand would provoke an AoO, of course, but drawing a weapon wouldn't, so if the focus was a weapon, or inside the wand chamber of one…

"Not bad," Quill called out, still grinning. He spent a move action getting to his feet, another one approaching Guiche. He then used his swift action and executed the Sudden Leap maneuver, springing forward in a blindingly fast ten-foot single stride which an eladrin would envy … but which didn't quite put him within reach. "I do hope that wasn't supposed to actually hurt me?"

"I didn't need to," Guiche responded, managing to flip his hair handsomely as he walked backward to keep Quill at a safer distance. "It's been a fun warm-up, but now you face your real opponent. Arise, valkyries!"

Guiche pointed his sword-wand at the ground between himself and Quill, and six spots of light appeared, before bursting into imposing greenish metal warriors.

Wait, six? Now that was worrying. Five could be the result of a Summon Monster spell cast to summon two levels below its list. For six, one would have to empower the spell as well. That was only possible at Quill's level if one was using significant metamagic reducers, and these certainly looked tougher than the monsters off the level one list. They were probably feat-augmented as well, considering Guiche was clearly a specialist to be able to summon with a standard action. It seemed that Quill might be a little outside his CR range at the moment. Those "valkyries" would be an effective form of battlefield control, making a shield wall that would force him to take AoOs and prevent him from charging past it. Then they would pursue him from behind as Guiche hammered Quill against his tactical anvil. Guiche was an excellent combatant, and Quill was almost ready to concede the battle.

"It was a good try, but this is why a commoner simply cannot compete against a noble on the field of battle. Charge, valkyries!"

…Or Guiche could make a tactical misstep.

Quill's grin widened as the metallic soldiers lowered their spears at him. This was almost unfair. Of course, on an open field, Guiche would have the summons that could charge, do so. Outnumbering him so, the attack bonus was easily more important than the AC lost.

Guiche couldn't have known, or even reasonably surmised, that Quill was wearing a fabulous pair of magical boots which allowed him to make a free, and boosted, attack against any opponent that charged him.

As the valkyries charged, Quill's guisarme whirled almost too fast to see. Six blows landed. Six metal bodies, cut through like butter. Another, much louder, round of gasps from the crowd.

That… had been a bit too effective. Huh. Quill's attack modifier had been three higher than it typically was, and his damage was six higher than its usual, before the doubling from Steadfast Boots. Was this the effect of the familiar runes? It was rather more powerful than he expected.

Well, best not to cast Detect Evil on a gift horse. Quill couldn't do that anyway.

"I-impossible!" Guiche said, shaking.

"Maybe last week it was," Quill said, then winced. Wow, that line sucked. Still counts for the morale bonus, at least. He lowered his guisarme and charged across the newly clear field, aiming for Guiche's side, right under the ribcage, with the flat of his blade. With the new bonus, he was very likely to hit even with the attack penalty for dealing nonlethal damage, and there was a decent chance that a good hit might be enough to take Guiche out of the fight entirely –

"I yield!" Guiche cried as Quill drew back his weapon.

Or that could happen. Quill stopped himself, the guisarme's blade inches away from Guiche.

There was a moment of silence. Quill, brimming with a feeling of power from his new level, made a snap decision, and allocated two skill points.

"That was a good match," he said in perfect Tristainian. "Well fought."

And the crowd exploded.

o—o—o—o—o—o—o

Author's Note (again): There's actually a specific mechanical reason for why Quill's new bonuses are +3/+6! A digital cookie goes to anyone who figures it out.