She stands in front of his desk, feeling weak, clutching the thumbdrive between her thumb and forefinger. Her heart is shuttering in her chest, and her eyes are flooded with unfallen tears, though a few have fallen the few minutes she's been standing here breathing unevenly.

She closes her eyes as her mind drifts back to the day before, having him in her arms with his hands cradling her scars, looking like he was on the verge of breaking completely. She can feel the tenseness in his shoulders on her hands, can hear the shake in his voice as he tells her he won't go through losing her… to this. She knows he meant something happening to her again, but… would it really be any different if she focused all her energy on this… and not them? She knows how dangerous it is to investigate these people, whoever they are, but that's always been a danger she pushed back, even after she got shot.

But once she has that time in her mind, all of yesterday gets cemented, just the memory of spending all day in bed together, in each other's arms with no other ambitions but to stay there just a bit longer. She knows how she feels going after this case; the cold determination, the emotionless heart, the unwillingness to feel anything until she finds something tangible.

She's holding something tangible in her hand now, but she can't summon the will to go after it. She knows why and wasn't prepared to tell him just yet. She was still trying to figure out exactly when it happened, so she could tell him when and where he finally got to her, maybe to make it a joke so she could tell him exactly what he did and jokingly blame him for it. But now, hearing what he thinks, the doubt, even self-deprecation, tearing himself down because of her, it's not like him.

How could he think he's not enough? Has she ever really said that? That he just wasn't enough for her? What even put that in his mind?

It isn't until she looks down to the flashdrive still hanging loosely in her hand that she knows. Realization flooding her mind, she drops it like a hot stone onto his desk, backing away from it with a few steps, feeling her breath catch as another pair of tears are pulled from her eyes. She looks over to his bedroom door, cracked open just a few inches. She closes her mouth, feels her heart beat hard as she turns and slowly starts toward the door.

Pushing it open gently, she sees him sitting on the edge of his bed, a hand in his hair. "Castle." She calls to him in a soft voice, not all there.

"No… Beckett, I'm the one that pushed you down this rabbit hole, it's time I-"

"Castle." She calls again, firmer but still given away by the quiver in her voice.

He looks up, feeling pulled back by the sight of her, standing just past the entrance to his bedroom, shoulders drawn in, tear tracks down her cheeks, with her lashes hanging onto one on one side. He sits up as he watches it fall. He managed to stop his, turning into just hardened guilt in the pit of his stomach.

"Is that really what you think?" She asks softly with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "That you're not enough for me?"

He shakes his head, self-pity still winning out, and stands up. "We've only been together for two days, I don't expect to win over your case."

"And it's been the best two days of my life, Castle." She says, voice soiled with emotion. He looks up to her again and sees the corners of her lips tucked in. "We spent all day yesterday just lying in each other's arms, letting the whole world fall away. I've never done that before, Castle. No one's ever been that special to me."

He feels a hopeful confidence start to challenge his self-pity wanting to deny what she's saying. He stays silent and just listens to her, letting his emotions war between each other.

"I'm never happier than when I'm with you. That would be a lot harder to admit if it wasn't as true as it is, and if you think just walking away from that comes easy to me, then you're wrong. My mother deserves justice," She nods, her eyes skirting away, "but not if the price is you, because that's a price I'm not willing to pay."

"No, Beckett, I-"

"Castle." She stops him, a hand raised slightly and a sad smile flashing across her face. "I'm kind of pouring my heart out here." She says with a slight, nervous chuckle. He feels a smile tug at the edges of his lips as he lets her continue. She lets out a breath to resettle herself before looking back up to him. "You've always been there for me… even when I didn't want you to be. You've always… gone to lengths I could never reach to get me to believe in myself."

Hope starts winning out as her tears start to dry up.

"I know I have a history of not seeing it, but now that I do, I can't just give this up. Maybe I would have a couple years ago, or… or maybe even a couple months ago, but not now. And you're wrong, Castle." She says on a breath. "You are… more than enough for me." She tells him, taking a small step toward him, "Probably more than I deserve, if you ask anyone else."

"Kate, that's not what you just said." He says, shaking his head and lifting his hand toward his office.

She clenches her teeth and holds up her hands. "It… it was a bad first reaction." He stops thinking about her sudden shift, accepting what he's hearing. "And we can talk about that later, but right now, you have to know that you were wrong." Her eyes drift off again and she shakes her head. "And I was wrong. Castle, closing that case is important to me, but it is not the most important thing in my life. And maybe I didn't see it until now. But I convinced myself that I couldn't be who you deserve until I closed it."

The battle inside himself has been won. Now, he feels pulled toward her, but is staying still, knowing she's not done.

"But you were right, if I can't be that for you now, then nothing is going to change if I do ever manage to close this case. And I have made my decision, and I'm choosing you. I know what I want now, Castle." She says with a nod.

"And… what is that?" He asks, almost hesitant as he takes a small step toward her.

She flashes him a smile, "I want to… to know what it's like to wake up next to you in the morning without having just been kidnapped and handcuffed. I want to know what it's like to pick fights with each other just so we can have incredible make up sex. I want to know what it's like to just… come home to you. I want to know you the way you know me, inside and out. And all of this is a just a way of telling you something I'm still trying to figure out as to when it happened, and I was waiting until I did to tell you but I don't think that really matters."

He feels his blood race with anxiousness as the air between then turns tense.

"I'm in love with you, Rick." She says with a lift in her voice. He can feel his heart explode and can feel himself physically force himself to stop from leaping forward. "And if I realized it was happening, I would have probably fought against it harder than I have, but… you snuck up on me." She says on a hollow chuckle, still smiling sadly to him. "But fighting how I feel about you is something I don't want to do anymore."

His breath quickens, so much so she can probably see him on the verge of hyperventilating. His body aches having to be still, wanting her, but at the same time wanting her to finish.

"A part of me still doesn't understand why you hid all this from me, but another part of me does. But when it comes down to it, Rick, all that matters is I don't want to know what it's like not to have you in my life. And I'm tired of us breaking each other's hearts and not having anything to show for it but emotional scars. I love you, Castle… and I want us to have something real, and… a-and I feel like I'm rambling at this point, so could you jus-"

It's then that he's finally given permission to launch himself forward, throwing his lips onto hers, quickly wrapping his arms around her, feeling her put her arms around his shoulders and her fingers in his hair, hearing her breath catch. He squeezes her into him with his arms and kisses her just a bit harder as he hears her let out a breath, shuttering on its way out her nostrils. She releases his lips, but doesn't back away, speaking to him against him.

"Yeah, that."

He feels himself want to laugh, but his want won't let him and just swallows her words, catching her mouth again with his. She slides her hand out of his hair and onto his jaw, deepening their already deep, passionate kiss. He presses his hands against her back and lets her lips go, each brushing against each other. She rubs her nose tenderly against his before laying their foreheads together.

They stand silent for a moment, petting each other with their fingers, his thumb stroking a pattern on the dip of her spine, and her along his cheek, and it isn't until the need is stopping him from enjoying having the love of his life in his arms that he finds his voice. "I'm sorry, Kate."

She shakes her head against his, not pulling back. "Don't apologize, Rick." She tells him and presses her lips to his chastely, then pulls back, still stroking his cheek. "After what you said yesterday, I get it."

He shakes his head, eyes drifting away from her sparkling gaze. "No, Kate, I-"

She stops him with her fingers pressed gently against his lips, "Rick," She starts as she moves her arms back around his neck, "I can handle a lot. I barely survived losing my mom, but… I don't know if I'm strong enough to lose you too. And you were right, if there was anything I could do to keep that strength from being tested, I'd probably do it." She softens her gaze up to him as much as she can while he tightens his arms around her. "But I don't ever want it to be."

He smiles, a warmth emanating from her that he always wished could be all his. Now it is. "I love you, Kate."

She's done hiding. She's done making excuses. She's done running from what she knows she truly wants. She's done running from him, from them. She's done chasing after something that will only get her more heartbreak. She's done leaving him behind, telling him to just wait a bit longer for her. She's done denying what her heart wants. She's done not being happy. "I love you too, Castle."

End