Title: Lawfully Wedded

Pairing: Puppyshipping (Seto/Joey), Tristan/OC, Cheershipping (Duke/Serenity), Vaseshipping (Atem/Mana), Peachshipping (Yugi/Téa), Angstshipping (Ryou/Marik)

Rating: T

Words (Chapter 4): 1,550

Author's Notes: Guess who's back, back again? Hi y'all. It's been a while but I am here, I am queer, and I am inspired. I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy out there. I missed y'all.

The amount of times Seto Kaiba didn't get what he wanted were few and far between. Money and power talked more than anything in this world, and he certainly wasn't lacking in either. But, as with everything, that money and power had a boundary, and this time, that boundary was the Marriage By Law decree and Match system that, try as he did, he was unable to bribe or force his way out of.

The amount of times Seto Kaiba gave up on getting what he wanted was just as little. But this time, he was under a time restraint that didn't afford him much opportunity to truly exhaust all his options.

So, he did what any good businessman would do – made a backup plan.

A backup plan that he was sure, with literally any other human being, would've been just fine. But Joseph Wheeler was easily the most difficult person he'd ever encountered and his sheer stubbornness, stupidity, and affinity for annoying him would prove this to be difficult. If he wasn't sure of that when he made the plan, the ordeal of trying to get the blond to even come to his office to discuss it certainly proved it.

"Mr. Kaiba, a Mr. Wheeler is here to see you," his secretary's voice spoke over the intercom in his office.

Kaiba took a deep breath, straightening his back as he braced for the battle that was about to take place. When he'd seen who the system had Matched him with and then developed this plan, he'd severely hoped that Joey had grown up at least a little bit over the last few years, but he was proven wrong.

"Send him in," he spoke, and not a second later, Joey wheeler was strolling into his office like he owned the place.

"Before you say anything, I have something important to talk about." Morbid curiosity left Kaiba silent, momentarily letting him speak. "That driver of yours, Fuguta, yeah, he deserves a raise. Did you know his wife's pregnant? Twins. You should also give him some vacation time."

Joey nodded, giving Kaiba a lopsided grin as he plopped down, and the brunet held back the urge to facepalm. Yeah, Joseph Wheeler was an extremely difficult person to deal with, he thought, as the aforementioned blond sat in one of the plush chairs across from his desk, slouched down with one leg hooked over the armrest.

He didn't answer the notion of giving the driver a raise, instead silently opening the top drawer of his desk. He removed the pile of papers, shutting the drawer again and dropping it on the desk by Joey in one swoop. They stared at each other for a beat before Joey budged, moving to grab the packet.

"What's this?"

Kaiba held back a retort about how he'd know if he just read it, but instead, this time he spoke. "A prenup."

Joey froze, eyes darting up to meet Kaiba's. "Heh?"

Kaiba's face didn't change. "A prenuptial agreement, it's a contract that people ent—"

"I know what the hell a prenup is, Kaiba. I'm not stupid. The confusion is over why we need one. We're not getting married." Joey's face hardened up, dropping the papers back onto the desk.

Kaiba wished it was that easy. "What makes you so sure of that?" he challenged.

"Because you're you. You never do anything you don't want to, and I know you don't want to be married to me. You're going to find a way out of this, somehow, like you always do, so instead of wasting our time with this, shouldn't you be working on fixing it?"

"Good to know you're as against this ridiculous Match as I am."

"More, apparently," Joey answered, motioning to the packet, "if this is anything to go by."

"This," Kaiba emphasized, tapping the papers with his pointer finger, "is called a backup plan. I'm a realist, Wheeler. I am doing everything my resources allow me to, to try and fight this – for lack of a better word – bullshit." Joey's eyebrow raised a bit at the cuss. "So, while I understand that you have such high faith in me," (the blond scoffed at that) "I'm realistic enough to know we are on a time crunch here. My birthday is in less than a month, yours only three months after that."

"So, in case we can't actually get out of the decree, and we do have to get married…" Joey trailed off.

"We're already set for the inevitable divorce," Kaiba finished.

Joey took a beat and then nodded, reaching back for the papers. Kaiba was a businessman, of course he made a backup plan.

"Is this even like, allowed? Planning for a divorce against a Match?"

"Yes and no, technically. My legal department and I have been doing research. Divorce is rare between Matched couples, but not unheard of."

"How rare?"

"12.08 percent," Kaiba rattled off easily.

"Damn." Kaiba wasn't sure if Joey's response was to the ease at which he answered the question or the low number. The blond looked back up at him and made a face. "You think the system really works that much for everyone else? Like, 88 percent?"

"No," he replied easily. "I think that most people are sheep and are willing to follow what they're told to do. Matching has been marketed to them as finding a soulmate, so they make it work even if they're unhappy with it."

Joey's mind flashed to his parents, still 'making it work' over a quarter of a century later. "And you're not a sheep," he articulated Kaiba's unspoken statement. "But so, this is allowed? It's not making it obvious we don't plan to see this out?"

"Again, yes and no. The head of my team found that those with assets before the marriage are encouraged to file these, for their own protection. Apparently, some people can rig the system to marry up the food chain."

Joey rolled his eyes. "Ah, shit, you caught me. I totally rigged this, so I'd have to marry you and take half your money."

Kaiba smirked at his sarcastic comment. "Don't worry, I know you're not smart enough to be able to cheat the system."

"Hey!"

"As I said, I'm encouraged to write this up. If the marriage does take place, we are allowed to file for divorce 6 months in. I said before, it's rare but not impossible." Joey had taken to starting to look over the contract, but Kaiba kept talking. Hopefully he could listen and read at the same time. "However, we cannot be granted said divorce if it is determined we didn't try to make it work. Dumb rule."

For emphasis, Joey shook the prenup.

Understanding the question, Kaiba continued. "That covers not just the possibility of divorce. It covers living situation, finances, children—"

"Children?"

"I had to make it look real."

Joey sighed, shaking his head as he flipped to a random page. "'In the event Mr. Wheeler is found to be unfaithful'? Are you shitting me? I don't know what sucks more: you putting in an expectation I'm going to cheat or the fact that while I'm stuck in this sham marriage, I can't even look for a real husband."

"You can hold off on the search for half a year. It shouldn't be too hard. Clearly, you've got no actual prospects, or this wouldn't even be happening." Kaiba knew it was a low blow, but he couldn't help but take it.

"Oh, fuck you. You clearly don't have any prospects either."

"I don't need one. I'm perfectly fine with what I have."

"Right, it's too bad the Match didn't know your soulmates include your company and the Blue Eyes White Dragon."

"You actually believe in that soulmate crap?"

Joey clicked his tongue. "Guess not." Kaiba could tell that was a lie. He watched Joey's face fall as he flipped through the pages again. "I can't sign this right now, Kaiba. I need to really look over it."

"That might be the only intelligent thing you've ever said to me."

"You're such an ass. Good to see seven years hasn't matured you much." Joey knew it was the pot calling the kettle black, but still. He didn't know that Kaiba had practically the same exact thought about him just moments prior.

Kaiba didn't respond, instead opening a different drawer on his desk. He took out a manila folder and handed it to Joey. "Read it over and come up with stipulations of your own. It needs to be fair for both of us in order to be legally valid. Come back Monday. Noon."

Joey got up from his seat, sliding the papers into the envelope easily. "Alright, see you Monday then."

"In the meantime, I'll keep searching for a loophole. The sooner this ends, the better."

Joey nodded in response, but Kaiba was already focused on his computer again instead of him. He left the office, envelope tucked under his arm. He felt a little bad for Fuguta, who was waiting by the car that brought him there, as he snuck away, pulling out his phone. It rang just twice before he heard the greeting he was waiting for.

"Hey Serenity, don't freak out. I need to find a lawyer."

Author's Notes: Thank you once again for reading and for your patience, everyone. I say this all the time but I never give up on these fics, despite what it looks like. Now Wondergirl needs to go practically make up a prenup so that next chapter can be Joey reading it and making his own changes. Wish me luck!