Erin

"Mama!" I hear, rousing me from my deep sleep as I feel my youngest Lily jumping up into my bed. I groan internally before forcing my eyes open to face the day, the other side of my bed still foreignly empty.

I'm exhausted, I can't remember a time where I wasn't. But I'm a cop who works crazy hours and a mom who has three kids, one of whom doesn't love to sleep in, so it comes with the territory.

"Hey Lily bug, what time is it?" I say, my voice still heavy with sleep. She shrugs her shoulders at me. Of course she doesn't know, she's two and a half. But it doesn't matter what time it is, we're aren't getting back to bed anyway. It could be 8 AM or 3 AM, but she's up, which means I'm up.

It also means that the rest of the house will be up soon and I better get myself ready while I still can. But it is still 5:45 in the morning and I would still much rather be asleep, in a happy oblivion where no one needs to be fed and no criminals need to be chased down and arrested.

"I'm hungry Mama," She whines. Lily, my sweet baby girl, I love her, but she is always up at the absolute crack of dawn and it drives me completely crazy. My older boys have always been good sleepers, but Lily, she's a different story. Let's just say I was not prepared for that when she was born, neither of us were.

"Alright sweet girl," I say, whipping the covers off and launching her up and onto my hip, pushing her blonde hair back and out of those big blue eyes. "let's get you some breakfast," As we descend down the dark wood stairs, she sings her song that she's been learning at daycare in my ear, something about not biting people. God I hope they didn't learn that song because of her, though I'm sure if she was acting out I would know about it by now.

I quickly toss a waffle in the toaster while she kicks her little feet against the side of island, requesting strawberries with her breakfast. After she eats it, I plop her in front of the TV with Yo Gabba Gabba so I can take fifteen minutes to get myself ready before I have to convince the older kids to wake up.

Over the years as I've had more kids and the numbers have grown, my morning routine has gotten cut way down and I've got it down to a science. Clothes are always chosen the night before, though I've never had very much difficulty picking my clothes out, my job allows me to wear pretty much a variation of the same thing every day, today being a pair of medium wash jeans and a thin red sweater. My previous staple of long necklaces is long gone. After learning that all babies and toddlers want to do is pull at them, they made a quick and hasty departure.

After getting myself dressed, I rush back down stairs to grab Lily and get her ready before I have to tackle the boys.

"Alright baby girl, what are we doing today?" I ask, standing her up on the floor in front of me.

"Fuzzies," She tells me, her word for sweaters.

"You want to match Mama?" I ask, my words met with a series of quick nods. I smile at her before grabbing a red sweater from her drawer and pulling a pair of black leggings over her short little legs. I then brush her thin blonde hair into two teeny tiny pigtails, Lily singing her biting song all the way through.

"Alright Lils, let's go get your brothers up," I tell her, "you ready to roll?" She nods up at me excitedly as I set her down on the floor, not waiting even a moment before running off towards Jack's room. My oldest son is not very fond of me or anyone really in the morning, but he has a soft spot for his baby sister and she can usually get him out of bed in the morning. Or at least put him into a good enough mood for me to swing in right afterwards.

Henry on the other hand, well he's a Mama's boy and he's more than happy to see me early, early in the morning. Not that that means he wants to wake up. He doesn't.

"Hey Sawy, you ready to get up?" I say as I linger in the doorway of his room, flicking the light switch on.

"Already Mama?" He asks as he rolls over towards me, covering his face with the red plaid quilt on his bed.

"It's time to get up buddy," I say as I walk further into his room, pulling his blankets off before pulling the drapes, got to get some natural light up in here,"Get up, get dressed, it is time to get on with the day my dear,"

It doesn't take too long before he's dressed and ready to go, but Jack still isn't up which means I'll have to deal with him on my own and my usually very successful weapon of Lily Jane has failed. I quickly send Sawyer down to get some breakfast, his little sister on his heels.

"Jack," I say as I go in, sitting on the edge of his bed. "It's time to get up,"

"Mom," He whines, rolling away from me.

"I know," I tell him as I turn on his lamp, knowing he feels exactly the same way I did a half hour ago. "But you have to get up,"

"Do I have to?" He asks as he sits up, rocking a full on bed head.

"Jack Thomas Halstead, get your butt out of that bed," I tell him as I urge him out of bed, "Hustle, hustle,"

"Okay, okay I'm going," He says as he finally hops out of bed towards his closet.

"Get dressed and brush your teeth and hair Jet, I'm going to run downstairs and start getting your lunches together, what do you want for breakfast?"

"Do we have waffles left?" He asks. That's good, waffles are easy. He probably won't be able to make that much of a mess.

"Yeah, just hurry down, you don't want to be late for school do you?" I say as I ruffle his hair, something I know he hates.

"I get it, I'm going Mom," He says, a slight annoyance in his voice as he grabs a t-shirt out of his closet.

"Don't you dare waste time mister! I want you downstairs in no more than fifteen minutes," I tell him as I step out of his room, my voice lingering behind me.

"Mom I got it!"

"Sawyer, Jack let's go!" I yell back into the house as I stand near the front door, trying to coax Lily into putting her shoes on. That seems to be her new thing, she hates wearing shoes, that's not really going to cut it with me. Eventually you have to stop babying her and just shove a pair of shoes on her feet, ignoring the push back and just get on with it.

"Do we all have shoes on?" I ask as I peer down at both my boys feet, grabbing my keys off the hook at the same time.

"Yes ma'am," Jack tells me with a cheery smile and those big blue eyes wide, a near identical copy of his father.

"Alright, backpacks," I say, tossing Jack's over at him and looping Sawyer's over his shoulders. "Let's roll Halsteads," I tell them as I shuffle my two boys out of the front door, Lily still hanging onto my hand the entire time.

Luckily it's still early in October and I don't have to worry about ushering a ten year old and a seven year old out the door, making sure they all have puffy coats and gloves and hats, making sure no one slips on the ice. With a toddler in tow, that whole thing is an operation.

The two of the them race each other to the backseat of my Suburban as I struggle to unlock the doors, allowing the two of them to scramble inside. After Lily was born, I finally gave in and gave up the 300, it just isn't big enough for all three of the kids. I looked for another car for awhile, my only requirement being that I wasn't going to drive a minivan, I would get so much crap from everyone in the unit if I suddenly pulled up in a minivan one day, so we're going to stick with the SUV.

"Alright so here's the deal," I say as I back out of the driveway. "Jack you have hockey practice tonight at 7."

"Can you come watch today?" He asks, interrupting me.

"No buddy I'm sorry, I have to work tonight," I feel a pang of guilt in my chest as I deliver the words to him. I hate that I have to do this so much. But it's just me and there isn't a way around it, so I do the best I can. It just never feels like it's good enough.

"Are you coming to the game this weekend?" He asks.

"Of course," I assure him, shooting him a smile through the rear view mirror, "You know that I never miss a game,"

"You promise?" He asks.

"I promise," I tell him, feeling guilty again. "But tonight, Uncle Will is going to be picking you guys up from school. He's going to take you to hockey practice and he's going to do homework with Sawyer while you practice,"

"What about Lily?" Jack asks. "Is she coming with us?"

"No, I'm going to pick up Lily from daycare when I get off work and then I'm going to come to the rink and pick you guys up,"I explain to them.

"Do I have to go to Jet's hockey practice?" Sawyer whines in the back of the car.

"I went to your soccer practice last week!" Jack shoots back.

"Boys, it's too early for this. Yes Sawyer you do have to go, Mommy is doing the best she can and sometimes we all have to do things we don't want to do,"

"Fine," He concedes from the back seat, his arms crossed in front of him. I know he's not happy, but he also knows it's not a good idea to argue with me, especially not in the mornings before my coffee has kicked in. With a quick sigh, I turn up the radio and let the music fill the car for the rest of the ride to school.

"Bye boys!" I call after my kids as they rush off towards the building. Luckily we're still in the phase where the boys don't hate school yet and they're fairly excited to see their friends and their teachers everyday. Jack does love to sleep and tends to avoid waking up, but once he's running he almost never puts up a fight.

"Erin!" I hear from the other side of the parking lot. I mentally groan and take a deep breath as I recognize that voice. Desiree Penton. She has two kids, a daughter named Cecilia in Jack's class and a son named James in Sawyer's and she's the room mom for both of them. I absolutely hate the fact that I can almost never volunteer in their classes, Voight tries to let me go as often as we can, but more often than not we're thrown headfirst into a case and I can't get away. She is just always the one to remind me of it and one of the people that can always make me doubt myself as a mother. She's too perfect, I haven't ever been able to find anything wrong with her. Though I know my reasoning is completely absurd, I just cannot stand her.

"Hey Des," I say, putting on a biggest smile that my tired self can muster.

"So I was wondering if you would be wanting to volunteer for the Halloween parties in your boys' classes this year?" She asks, a slight Southern drawl present in her voice.

"You know that I would love to," I start.

"But?" She interrupts.

"I'm a cop and I'm a single mom, my schedule is insane. But I will try and see if I can get the day off," I respond. As as I mention my being a cop, I notice her eyes flit down to the gun on my hip. That always happens, always.

"Alright, just let me know. Shoot me an email," She says with a grin, her sparkly white teeth almost glaring in the sunlight.

"Will do," I say hopefully, "I will take a look at my schedule and if I can't come I will definitely send my boys in with some kind of treat for the party,"

"Thanks Erin," She says with a grin.

"No problem," I tell her as I climb back into my car. "Alright sweet girl," I say as I look back at Lily, "let's get you to daycare,"

Kid free. Well at least for the next like nine hours. But still, kid free. Of course that means swapping my children out for the worst criminals in Chicago, but at least they let me go to the bathroom by myself.

As I pull up to the District, I notice Hank standing to the right of the entrance, arguing with a young blonde woman. That's odd. He looks up at me before saying something to her, that leading to her quickly running away. I wonder who that could be. I don't recognize her, maybe she's a CI, though she doesn't look like our usual CIs and I don't recognize her face from the data base.

"Hey," I say as I walk over to him after parking my car, "who was that?"

"Just an old friend, don't worry about it Erin," He tells me. Okay that's weird. Voight usually doesn't hide things from me, not anymore at least. I hope he's not involved in something again. But I do know if I ask him about it further, it's only going to cause him to lock down tighter. I'll just have to wait for him to want to tell me.

"Alright," I say, not believing him at all.

"Go clock in, I'll be up in a minute, I have to make a call," He tells me as he places a hand on my back.

"Okay," I tell him as I give him a smile. Still uneasy about the whole situation, but putting it on the back burner. While I'm here I have a job to do, so I'm going to do it.

"Good morning Erin," Platt calls behind me as I buzz in.

"Hey Sarge," I call behind me as I ascend up the steps to the bullpen.

"Yo Erin," Ruzek asks as I walk over to my desk, tossing my bag over the back of my chair.

"What's up Ruz?" I ask as I get myself settled.

"Can you and the kids come to Liv's birthday party this weekend?" He asks, leaning up against my desk and handing me a cup of coffee.

"Crap yes, sorry I forgot to RSVP, but yes we will be there," I tell him as I thankfully take the mug.

"Thank God, she's been asking if you guys were going to come all week and I keep forgetting to ask, Kim's been on my ass about it," He explains as he retreats back over to his desk, the rest of the team all buried six feet deep in paperwork.

"Hell yeah I have," Kim steps in, "Party is in five days,"

"Well put us all down for yes," I assure him as I pull out a very large stack of paperwork I didn't finish last night. We've been getting cases left and right, leaving us almost no time to catch up and we're all so behind, something Platt has totally been on our backs for. I'm hoping today that we'll have a slow day, no cases, just let myself catch up so I feel like I'm not so behind.

"You going?" I ask my partner Hailey Upton, seated across the aisle at the desk opposite mine, "I know the kids would love to see you,"

"Of course," She tells me with a smile, "Never going to miss a chance for several small children to fawn over me,"

"Ah well, they do love you," I say with a wink, my eyes slowly moving down to the framed photo of Jack, Sawyer, and Lily climbing all over Jay from Lily's first birthday.

"Uh hello! I would say I am favorite honorary aunt," Kim interjects.

"I never said anything about favorite!" Upton claims, throwing her hands up in the air in defense. "But then again, you've got your own kid, let me have this one," I'm about to open my mouth to respond when Voight walks into the bullpen, his voice gruff and booming as usual.

"Halstead, get in my office," he says, not stopping as he walks down the center aisle.

"Yes sir," I say, getting out of my chair quickly and following him into the office, hoping he'll want to elaborate on what I say only a couple of minutes ago.

"So are you ready to tell me what was going on this morning?" I ask, remaining standing in front of his desk as he settles himself behind it.

"That woman, it was Allie," He tells me. Allie? I haven't heard her name in years. I haven't wanted to hear her name.

"Allie as in Jay's ex-girlfriend Allie?" I ask, double checking , though I know what he's going to say. Of course it is, he wouldn't be coming to me about any other Allie.

"Yes," He tells me, those dark eyes stoic.

"What the hell is she doing here?" I ask, my brows wrinkled with confusion. And if she is here, why the hell did she go to Voight? That doesn't make any sense. I didn't even know she knew who he was. I never thought I'd hear her name again, but if I did, I always assumed she'd go through Jay, well now me I guess.

"Well Erin," He says with a deep breath, "she wants to see her son,"

Let me know if you guys want to read more!

xoxo,

Addison