(After The Pathos in the Pathogens)

This week's Bonesology challenge is very AU: Take 2 Bones established (current or former) couples and switch them around with another couple. The only exception is Booth and Brennan. They must stay in canon, but show how the new couples affect their dynamic, too! Remember this story is AU and appearances may be deceiving.

Thanks to MoreBonesPlz. This was a hard challenge and she gave me an idea to use for this story.

I don't own Bones.

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Booth entered Sweets' office, his hands filled with some files he wanted his profiler to do his mojo thing on and stopped in utter shock. "What the hell?"

Startled, the couple broke apart from their passionate kiss and turned to stare at Booth with a look of extreme guilt on their faces. "Booth um, this isn't what it looks like." Sweets' cheeks were a bright crimson which he ignored as he tried to maintain some dignity and failed miserably.

"It looks like the coroner of the Jeffersonian is playing dueling tongues with my profiler." Booth wasn't sure when this had started, but he was sure he didn't like it. Dropping the files on the table in front of the couch, Booth shook his head. "At least lock the damn door if you're going to be doing whatever the hell you were doing in here. This is a place of work not . . . not this . . . whatever." Turning abruptly, he left the room leaving behind two very embarrassed co-workers.

"Cam, it's okay. We weren't doing anything wrong." Sweets placed his hand on Camille's arm and smiled at her. "Arastoo has been dead for two months and I broke up with Daisy before that. We're free agents. We aren't cheating on anyone."

Cam had seen the look that her old friend had given her and she was sure that he hadn't been thinking anything that she hadn't been thinking. "You have work to do and I have to get back to the Lab." Picking up her purse from Sweet's desk, she checked to make sure that her car keys were in the bag and walked away.

Worried about what his girlfriend was thinking, Sweets held his hand out in an imploring way. "Cam . . ."

"I have to go, Lance." Cam didn't turn to look at her boyfriend as she left, her mind racing with thoughts about Booth and her late boyfriend Arastoo and how Sweets compared to them. The comparison was coming up too short to her liking.

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She knew he would show up sooner or later, she just hadn't expected him to show up so soon. Booth entered her office, closed the door behind him and stepped closer to his friend. "Cam, do you know what you're doing? Sweets is . . ."

"Sweets is gentle and kind and he was there for me when Arastoo died." Cam felt defensive and she knew that if there wasn't anything wrong with her relationship with Sweets then she shouldn't be defensive.

The last thing Booth wanted to do was hurt his friend, but he really didn't think she was seeing the whole picture. "Look, you know me. My track record when it comes to love sucks big time, but I know when I see a problem and I see a big problem."

"What Booth? What problem do you see?" Cam wanted to accuse him of interfering in her life, but he never interfered in anyone's life so she knew the accusation would ring hollow.

He knew he needed to tread delicately, but he had big feet and he felt like the proverbial bull in the china shop. "I'm just going to say it since I don't know how to mince around the problem. Sweets is 15 years younger than you are. You're old enough to be his . . . um . . ."

"What Booth?" Cam was furious especially since Booth was pointing out the fatal flaw in her relationship with Lance Sweets that even she could see.

"Your old enough be his older girlfriend. It's cougarish, Cam." There was no way he was going to say she was old enough to be his mother. A young mother that's true, but yeah, the boy's mother. "You two are going to be the brunt of jokes and . . . stuff. He was born in 1985 and you were born in . . ."

She held up her hand and growled at her former lover. "Don't say it. I get it. I'm robbing a cradle."

Booth shrugged his shoulders. "You said it not me."

"Well you almost said it." Cam was staring fiercely at Booth and considered kicking his ass for the trouble he was causing her. "Don't you think I know that he's too young for me? I do you know it. It's just . . . he's been so sweet and he's been lonely and so have I and . . . yeah, you're right. You're right. He's a child and I feel like a pedophile."

"Whoa, whoa . . . don't get carried away, Cam." Booth was appalled that she had gone there. "He's not a kid for God's sake, so let's not go there. He's definitely a man, a young man, a very young man . . ."

"Okay, okay, stop." Cam sat down at her desk and placed her chin on her hand. "This is so embarrassing. I'm going to have to break up with him aren't I?"

He felt sorry for her and now he was regretting stepping into her business. "Well, only if you want to. I mean if you really love him, then ignore me and everyone else and stay together. I mean I guess it won't harm anyone and you two are legal, well he's barely legal, but . . ."

A howl of outrage in the hallway and suddenly the door opened with a bang. "Dr. Saroyan, is it true that you and my Lance are dating?"

Quickly standing up, Cam shook her head. "We were, but . . ."

Her outrage clearly out of control, Daisy growled and lunged towards Cam only to be grabbed by Booth from behind and stopped in place. "Whoa there. You and Lance broke up. There is no cheating going on here."

"I beg to differ." Daisy shook her head and pointed at Cam. "I may not be currently dating Lance, but we are still friends and she's old enough to be his mother."

"Now wait a minute." Cam was angry and she was about to do some ass whipping. "I am not old enough to be his mother. An older sister yes, but not his mother and you have no right to object to any dating we may be doing. You aren't dating Lance anymore."

"I disagree." Daisy wasn't sure Cam was seeing the whole picture. "I do have a right. What do you think will happen when people find out that Lance dumped me for someone 25 years older than him?"

"25?" Cam was now seeing bright red. "15 years older Ms. Wick. If you don't want me to kick your ass out of this lab you better leave right now."

Her eyes flashing, Daisy jerked from Booth's grip, well she tried to, but really the man was too strong and his fine muscles and large hands . . . shaking her head, Daisy knew she had better shut down that thinking right there. "Agent Booth let me go please."

Releasing her, Booth kept a wary eye on the diminutive intern. "Behave Daisy. I think Cam was thinking about breaking up with Sweets when you came in and started caterwauling."

"Caterwauling?" Daisy found that Booth had chosen an odd time to show off his vocabulary. "I was not caterwauling. I was protesting in a boisterous manner."

Unable to prevent it, Booth rolled his eyes. "Right . . . You see Cam, this is what it's like to date someone as young as Sweets. You have to put up with insane ex-girlfriends. I . . ."

Turning quickly, Daisy kicked Booth in the leg and protested at the top of her lungs. "Hey I am not crazy."

Her kick had been forceful and Booth knew he was going to have a bruise. "Kick me again and you're going to get the spanking of a life time."

"Really?" Daisy was now intrigued. "Are you sure that's a threat?"

Shocked, Booth backed up to the doorway, turned and fled.

Amused Cam laughed. "Men!"

"You got that right." Daisy shook her head. "It's too bad he belongs to Doctor Brennan. He's probably really built and . . ."

"Daisy, don't go there, I'm not in the mood." Cam remembered her time with Booth and he really had been a very satisfying lover. "Go find Sweets and bother him."

Worried that Cam might rat her out to Brennan about her thoughts about Booth, Daisy pasted a smile on her face. "Of course. I was just kidding about Agent Booth."

"Uh huh."

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Booth woke with a start. "What the hell was that?"

Suddenly awake, Brennan rolled over to face her mate. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Disgusted, Booth sat up and made a vow. "I swear no more chili before bedtime. I have the worst dreams when I eat chili at night. Just no more."

Curious, Brennan placed her hand on Booth's hip in sympathy. "What was the dream about?"

"I dreamed that Cam was dating Sweets." Booth shook his head. "There is no way in hell that Cam would do that. She had more sense than that and besides Sweets bugs the hell out of her."

Brennan scrunched her nose and agreed. "I agree. What an awful dream."

"Yeah, it was and Daisy was in it too." Booth rubbed his face. "She was acting all crazy about Cam dating Sweets and I threatened to spank her if she didn't settle down. Boy was that a mistake."

"A mistake?" Booth had never spanked Christine or Parker so she found it odd that he would threaten Daisy with a punishment like that even if it was in a dream.

Embarrassed, Booth blushed and refused to look at Brennan. "She . . . um . . . she didn't seem to think that was a threat. That's just sick."

"I must point out that this is your dream, Booth." Brennan was amused that Booth didn't seem to remember that the dream came from his fertile imagination. "I'm sure Daisy wouldn't care to be abused in real life."

His glaring eyes fastened on his partner, Booth growled. "I'm not a perv . . . I . . . it's my job. I see a lot of pervs and how can it be my fault if their pervy stuff invades my dreams. It's not my fault."

"No I suppose not." Brennan knew that Booth would never strike anyone in an abusive manner and he had no control over his dreams. "Cam and Sweets huh? I agree, no more chili for you."

Moving to the edge of the bed, Booth stood up and pointed over his shoulder. "I'm going to get a snack. Want anything?"

"No thank you." Brennan watched her mate leave the room and shook her head. She knew full well Booth wasn't going to throw the leftover chili out and that he was going to finish it off as a snack. He'd probably dump it on some chips and call it nachos so if she asked if he ate the chili he could say no. He was sneaky like that and she loved him for it. He tried not to lie to her and she appreciated that.

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So I hope you found this amusing. Let me know what you think of it, thanks.