Title: So I'm Curvy? (One Piece)

Summary: After an argument between Zoro and Sanji ends with Zoro commenting on how Sanji is "beyond straight", Luffy starts asking questions- and unintentionally sprints right out of the closet.

Disclaimer: One Piece is property of Eiichiro Oda~sama. One could only dream of possessing his boundless creativity...!

"CRAPPY COOK!" A crash followed the muffled yell.

"Not again..." Nami sighed, lifting her free hand to her forehead, combing her hair back with her fingers. She sipped the cool, recently made tangerine smoothie, seeking relief from the heat. Honestly, she would have thought that after two years of being separated from each other, they'd have gotten over their silly rivalry. Oh, was she wrong. As a matter of fact, as soon as they reunited, they began arguing over whether or not it mattered that Zoro arrived on the Sabaody archipelago first. Boys.

A dainty giggle was her response. The comfortable silence returned between the two girls- which was immediately crushed to pieces by more arguing, gradually rising in volume.

"What do you suppose it is this time, Nami?" Robin finally spoke, albeit in quiet amusement rather than frustrated growling. While Robin was in fact giving Nami her full and utmost attention, she was buried deep in her book.

"Who knows; who cares?" Nami shakily started, rage building up. Her head began slowly twitching until it was lowered, casting her eyes into shadow. "All I know is that THEY won't be the ones to give each other black eyes..." she said, while raising a clenched fist in a clearly threatening manner.

"Is that so?" Robin giggled once more. She gently clamped her book shut after folding the page she was on, stood and stretched, and marked her seat with said book. Nami followed soon after, and together they headed to the kitchen; the source of the noise which had refused to cease. Flip flops squeaking and the movement "swishing" through the grass, they headed towards their destination.

Almost as soon as they were reaching for the door, something exploded to the right of them. As if in slow motion, they both turned there heads and watched as only Sanji's leg and Zoro surrounded by splintered wood flew into view. Zoro may have flown all the way across Sunny and into the ocean, if it weren't for the mast that he smashed head first into. Luckily, he could hardly be considered "human", and nobody who has ever met Roronoa Zoro would doubt that he has the hardest head of any non-devil-fruit user.

"What the hell?!" Nami shrieked. Unfortunately, Sanji was closer to her than Zoro at the moment, so he was the one to receive her rage.

"Sanji~kun..." she growled. He turned with hearts in his eyes, and was promptly shot into the sky by her fist, crashing into the cold, salty ocean. Feeling satisfied, she sighed before deciding to take the high road, and turned towards Zoro. Ignoring the splash and thud of Sanji jumping through the air and returning to the warm deck, she demanded an explanation.

"Must someone step between you each time you walk within ten feet of each other? Mataku..." she sighed.

"Would you believe me if I said I didn't mean to start a fight?" Zoro spat, glaring with his one eye.

"Ehhh~? And why should I believe you, cyclops?" Nami asked in disbelief. A vein twitched over Zoro's eye, and he muttered something that sounded like, "...I have two eyes; TWO. Witch..."

"Look, I was just looking for something to drink in the kitchen, when curly brow mentioned that I should share it with my 'boyfriend'," he started, vein above his eye once again twitching. At Nami's confused expression, he finished his explanation with a sigh. "Luffy, apparently. Anyway, I told him that he may be the straightest guy on the ship, but that doesn't mean that all of the other guys on the ship aren't straight as well."

Nami slapped her forehead in exasperation. Suddenly, Luffy's upside-down head shot down between them, with a comical "boing" noise. He frowned, "Straight?"

"Luffy, please tell me you know what straight means," Nami mockingly begged. She knew Luffy wasn't exactly "even remotely intelligent", but this was just sad.

"Of course! I just don't know what you mean by saying that Sanji's straight. I mean, I guess his back is pretty straight, but why does that matter?" his head cocked to the side and flipped upright as his body joined him sitting cross-legged on the grassy deck.

"Luffy, we mean that Sanji likes girls," Zoro explained slowly. And as an afterthought, "A lot."

"Doesn't everyone like girls?" Luffy's confused expression persisted. Why wouldn't someone like girls? Did they do something to make people mad? What could they have done to make some people like them a lot, and others not?

"Oh dear kami," Nami sighed, fake sobbing. "You're so stupid and innocent..." Sucking up her exaggerated tears, she placed one hand on her bare hip (she's still in her bikini from sunbathing), and pointed a manicured finger in Luffy's direction. "OK Luffy, listen up! Liking someone, and LIKING someone, are two different things. If you like someone, it means you enjoy their company. If you LIKE someone, then you want to be with them forever, or you feel like your eyes are drawn to them, because you really like the way they look. Or both reasons are true for the same person, which doesn't happen very often. Now, if you're 'straight' then you're either a boy who likes girls, or a girl who likes boys."

Luffy's eyes sparkled with understanding. He bobbed his fist into his open palm. "Oh, I see! Wait..." his confused look returned. "So I'm curvy?"

A pause. A longer pause. An awkward silence. Um... what?

"I don't like girls, which mean I'm not straight," he explained further. "So does that mean I'm curvy?"

"W-Well, it depends," Nami stuttered in shock, her cheeks reddening slightly. Zoro's eyes widened and his jaw dropped a little. She continued, "Do you like boys?"

"Hrmm..." Luffy placed a hand on his chin in thought, staring off to the side as seagulls glided past. He returned his gaze to her, and his eyes sparkled once more- this time in recognition, rather than understanding. "Yep! So am I curvy or what?" Unfortunately, Luffy being Luffy, his attention was quickly drifting.

"Er, no." Nami began, conflicted on how to feel about his newest development.

"Luffy, you're gay."