After the Battle of Hogwarts and Voldemort is defeated, Hogwarts beckons for all its students to come back and repeat that last year. The students don't mind – after all, they all want to go back and start fresh to erase the terrifying memories of the tragedy that took place there.

Hogwarts, now rebuilt to its former glory, is finally put into the responsible hands of the new Headmistress Professor McGonagall. McGonagall strongly believes that the reason for the students turning to Death Eaters was because they were not shown the love and compassion, leadership and disciple, right and wrong, that all kids need to be led towards at a young age from their parents.

Her idea to keep another evil outburst from ever happening in the Wizarding world?

Make all the sixth and seventh year students take a parenting class, teaching them how to parent so that they can make sure they lead their kid towards right.

Hundreds of students all paired up to raise a magically-made child for the entire school year.

What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, right – everything.

-x-

It's dangerous to fall in love

But I want to burn with you tonight

Hurt me

There's two of us

Bristling with desire

The pleasure's pain and fire

Burn me

- "Fire Meet Gasoline" by Sia

-x-

Hermione Granger was the first to arrive in class, just as she had always done before dropping out to defeat the lord of all evil with her two best friends.

The three were welcomed back as the biggest heroes of the Battle, they got attention from everyone. Hermione was so excited – far more than she should be, actually, since she and her boyfriend since their kiss on the battlefield, Ron Weasley, had just broken up. Over the summer, while she and Harry had been staying at the Burrow for quite a while, they had found there was no spark. It had happened heat of the moment, their kiss, and it just wasn't meant to be.

The short trial run of their relationship had ended mutually, still best friends without the slightest change in their dynamic, and the three were quite happy with it that way.

But she had changed over the summer. Emotionally, and physically as well. She'd spent half of her summer in Australia, looking for her parents to restore their memories. She was a bit tanner, she'd put back on the weight she'd lost from the school year on the run with Harry and Ron, mostly due to Mrs. Weasley forcing them to eat about five meals a day until she was convinced they looked just like they did before the war.

Unfortunately, she could not restore her parents' memories. To restore their memories after having them gone for a year could cause serious damage to them, and she loved them far too much to endanger them. That was why she had done it in the first place, after all. So she resolved herself to go back to The Burrow and let them continue their happy lives in Australia without her.

The summer was a whirlwind. The three of them had been awarded Order of Merlin, first class, and were constantly being bombarded by the Ministry to attend events, by the newspapers and magazines for private interviews – Hermione had even gotten one very weird letter from the magazine Play Wizard, asking her for a private nude spread to give their readers a look at the beauty inside the brains. She had politely declined, although to be offered was an interesting experience all on its own.

Of course, the memories of the horrors she'd experienced throughout the past year would never leave her nightmares. They wouldn't leave anyone's, for that matter. Everyone had lost too much, too soon, for them to be okay. But they carried on, because now they had something to live for – their future.

Hermione twirled her quill around her fingers absentmindedly, waiting for Ron and Harry to show up. She'd left early, anxious to get to their first hour Parenting 101 class. No one except the teachers had a clue what this class would entail, but everyone seemed either terrified or excited for this class.

Finally, Ron and Harry walked through the door. She waved them over, Harry taking the seat beside her and Ron sitting behind the two of them. The three talked for a bit, as there was only two other students in here (Ravenclaw sixth years, Hermione thought).

"What's this class going to be about, anyways?" Ron asked, running his hand through his red locks, now shorter after his mother had pestered him to cut it all summer. He'd finally caved a few weeks ago, along with Harry.

"I can't imagine that we'd be taking care of an electric baby like we did in primary school," Hermione chipped in.

Ron looked terrified. "Muggles electrify babies?!"

Harry sighed and shook his head. "No, Ron." He smiled, looking around the familiar classroom setting. It was good to be back, especially since no one had expected Hogwarts to recover so quickly after the destruction of the battle.

Hermione giggled, then turned to Harry. "So, you said that Dudley contacted you through a letter the day before term started? We never found out what happened with that."

Harry had grown to actually make amends with his former tormentor and cousin. Dudley had apologized shortly before his parents and he rushed to get away from Harry when she found the danger that being around him caused.

As Hermione asked him, a smile grew on his face. He answered, "He's contacted me twice before that, but he wrote this letter to tell me something important." He glanced between his two best friends, then breathed out excitedly, "He fell in love with a witch."

Hermione's jaw dropped. "No way. That's brilliant! Good for him!"

Ron let out a low whistle. "How does she handle him? Feel sorry for the poor girl who ended up with that bloke."

"It's Cho. Cho Chang."

Ron choked on his own spit. "WHAT?!"

"And she likes him back?" Hermione asked.

Harry shrugged. "I guess. They're together now, he's a changed person. They seemed quite happy when I went to visit, actually."

"And you don't care?" Hermione asked, checking on him. She knew that his former feelings for Cho might be clouding his judgment, or might be giving him conflicting feelings.

But Harry shook his head. "'Course not. I have Ginny, why would I care? If he's happy, then good on him."

Speaking of the red-haired devil herself, Ginny flounced into the room and smiled when she saw the group. She sat behind Ron, and Harry leaned forward to give her a peck on the cheek. Ron did not look like he appreciated it, which Hermione rolled her eyes at. Ginny and Harry had been together all summer, she had hoped he'd gotten used to it, but apparently not.

Students kept entering the classroom, more chatter being added to the atmosphere. Then, Hermione was shocked to see one Draco Malfoy, his friends Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson beside him.

Ron grumbled, "Can't believe those bloody Death Eaters had the nerve to come back here. They're the ones who wrecked it in the first place, how could they think they have the right to come back?"

Hermione was too busy staring at the new arrivals. They sure looked different from when they'd all last seen each other on the battlefield. Their looks changed slightly, but that's not what surprised her. They carried themselves differently, not with the swagger she'd grown accustomed to seeing the Slytherins walk with. With more humility, it almost seemed.

Hermione cleared her throat and looked away after a moment. She said, "I'm surprised Lavender came back as well. After she was attacked by Greyback, everyone's been saying she's a Werewolf now." She shook her head dismally. "It's so sad, I wish I could have hit him with the spell before he had the chance to slash her."

Harry touched her arm. "It wasn't your fault. And at least she's not dead."

Ron leaned forward and whispered, "I heard that Malfoy spent the year with Vampires after they lost the war. Think he might be one as well?"

Hermione snorted just as all the seats finished filling, and Professor McGonagall entered the room swiftly, just as she always did. The voices quickly hushed, honoring their new headmaster, who had proved to be one of the bravest people in the war entirely.

She smiled at them all, a rare gift to a group of all houses. "I'm so glad you all came back. Truly, I am. I'm glad those who were heroes came back – " she looked at Harry, Ron and Hermione with slight fondness. " – or if you came to prove yourself worthy to return, trying to gain back acceptance for your past grievances. " As she said this, her eyes flickered ever so quickly towards the Slytherins. "I know there are some bad memories that come with this castle, but I'm so proud you all found the strength to return. I know this will be a very good year."

She looked at all of the students in the room right now. "I'm sure you are all wondering what this class is now, correct?" When the students nodded, she continued, "As the root cause of children turning to Voldemort to become Death Eaters was because they did not feel accepted anywhere else, we are going to work to build all of you into loving and accepting young ladies and gentleman." With a sly smile, she said, "And who is more loving and accepting than a parent?"

A hand rose from the back, and when called upon, Seamus Finnigan's voice said, "So, what, yeh're gonna give us baby dolls ta' take care of?"

"Not necessarily, Mr. Finnigan." She rose her voice to make sure everyone heard her clearly: "You will be paired with another student, a sixth or seventh year like yourselves, whom the sorting hat put together based on compatibility and personality traits."

Ron's jaw dropped, and he couldn't help but stammer, "So, you guys are promoting us to… to just…?"

Professor McGonagall fixed him with a glare of disgust. "For Godric's sake, Mr. Weasley, we don't allow that Hocus Pocus."

Students around the room snickered, and Ron's ears turned red, embarrassed.

McGonagall continued, "You and your partner will use a spell especially made for this purpose, by the headmistress of Beauxbatons, who has made her students do this exact same thing in years past. Using both a spell and a potion, you will create a child. It will start as a baby only a few weeks old, and by the end of the year, the child will be just shy of ten years old. Then, the child will disappear. The child isn't necessarily real, but they will act just like one. You will have to raise them, show them love and compassion, just as a real parent would."

Another hand raised, and a Hufflepuff girl asked, "How do we take care of the child together if we aren't in the same dorm? Let alone the same house!"

"You will be sharing dorms with your partner." Students immediately started talking, and Professor McGonagall clucked her tongue, "Hush now! You are all adults now, and I expect that you all will act responsibly with this!" She looked around. "The sexual orientation of each Witch and Wizard was adjusted accordingly; if you are a homosexual, you have been paired with another with the same preference in your gender, to make it more comfortable for you."

Out of the corner of her eye, Hermione saw two Hufflepuff boys holding hands and looking extremely happy at this. One whispered in the other's ear, and they smiled at each other. Hermione was glad that this generation was progressing in such brilliant ways.

"Other than that," Professor McGonagall said, "You will be with the other gender, living in a dorm with the child. You have already been assigned with which house dorm you will be staying in, along with your partners, which I will read off now."

Clearing her throat, she began to read off the names: "Hannah Abbott and Neville Longbottom, Hufflepuff dorms… Eliza Bates and Xander Rogers, Ravenclaw dorms… William Porter and Maxwell Edwards, Hufflepuff dorms…"

At the last two names, the two boys that Hermione had seen smiling at each other hugged, clearly happy to be paired with each other. Hermione hoped that she would be paired with someone she could stand, maybe even love, like those two.

"Luna Lovegood and Blaise Zabini, Slytherin dorms."

Hermione looked over at Luna, who looked indifferent. Blaise Zabini had turned to look at Luna, and he waved slightly at her, giving her the friendliest smile he could muster. Zabini had always been a nicer, shyer Slytherin. Hermione figured that Luna would be good with him, both of them quite soft-spoken and kind.

"… Hermione Granger and – " Professor McGonagall cut herself off. She stared at the list closer, as if she wasn't sure if she had read it right. Then she cleared her throat, and said: "… and Draco Malfoy, Slytherin dorms."

"What?!" Hermione gasped.

"What?!" Draco shouted with wide eyes.

"What?!" Ron screamed aggressively.

"WHAT?!" The entire room echoed.

McGonagall glared at the students, shouting at them to hush, trying to silence them. She heard screams of "Outrageous!" and "Bloody insulting!" coming from both sides of the parties.

"QUIET!" McGonagall demanded. Finally, the voices lulled to whispers. "I'm not done with the pairings, if you don't mind!" She glared at all of the students, daring them to try and interrupt her again.

After another dozen names: "Ginny Weasley and Harry Potter, Gryffindor dorms." There was an unspoken of course that went without saying.

Everyone knew it was going to happen, the two had been made for each other for years. Ron whispered threats about if Harry dared to try and sleep with his sister, and Hermione usually would have tried to stop him from embarrassing Harry, but she was too preoccupied with horror – she was paired with Draco Malfoy. She would have to share a dorm with Draco Malfoy, raise a child with Draco Malfoy.

Being dragged by her ears through a desert seemed more appealing than that.

The very last names on the list: "Pansy Parkinson and Ronald Weasley, Gryffindor dorms."

They both stood up indignantly and screamed that they would never deal with being within twenty feet of the other. Shouts at each other and at the Professor ensued, before she cast a mouth binding spell on both of them.

She glared at them as she rolled up her scroll and replaced her wand to her pocket. "I assure you that these pairings will be for the best, and they are quite accurate – at least for the time being."

Unbinding them quick, they both sat down silently, as if they still had the spell on them.

Professor McGonagall then said, "Now, go back to your originally assigned dorms; tomorrow we will create the children, then you will go back to your new dorms after that!"

Hermione was zoning in and out at this point, unable to focus on the prospect of being forced to live with Draco Malfoy.

"…Come a bit early if you have questions or would like to change the location of your dorm – but NO CHANGING PARTNERS!" There was groaning and mumbling, but about half of the class seemed happy or content enough with the pairings.

The hour was up, and McGonagall sent them on their way. Malfoy didn't look at Hermione the entire time he left class, keeping his eyes trained on the ground to avoid eye contact.

Hermione grabbed her books and went to McGonagall. She took a deep breath, and began, "Professor, I'm sorry, but I really don't think this would be good. Malfoy – he – I – this must be a mistake!"

McGonagall gave Hermione a look that said that she knew something Hermione didn't. "Miss Granger, I can assure you, there is no mistake. I believe Mister Malfoy has truly changed over this past year; give him a chance. Besides, I think you're the only one who can manage to be his partner."

"What about his – "

"Miss Granger, I don't want to argue with you on this. Just know that we chose you especially for this – the compatibility speaks for itself."

"But we are nothing alike!" Hermione objected, waving her arms around wildly.

McGonagall smirked at her. "Oh, dear, I'm sure you'll find that to be untrue. Just wait. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get the next list for the next group of students."

Hermione shuffled off, sighing dramatically. She knew that there was no way she would be able to wiggle out of this one.