I know, I know it's been waayyy too long. A lot of stuff has happened the last few months. I did some traveling (no where interesting), looked for a new part time job, had some anxiety issues I had to work through and finally got new meds (yay drugs). All in all it's been a pretty crummy couple of months that have sucked every ounce of creativity I had in me. I'm only just now starting to feel like myself again. This chapter is kind of like a warm up. I decided to do something that a few of you have asked for. How Yuri and Beka moved in together. Soooo, it's time for a good ole fashioned flashback. Cheesy I know, but it was an idea and I haven't had one of those in a long time so I went with it. Get ready for some heavy angst and lots of miscommunication. Oh and I have some awesome news at the bottom so check it out (it's just about the only good thing that's happened to me this summer).

The night started innocently enough. They were having dinner with Yuuri and Victor, and after Yana was safely tucked away in her bed, they broke out the beer and wine. They talked about the usual things, skating, Otabek's studies, and the funny things Yana had been up to. Eventually, after a few glasses, the conversation turned towards the old days. When Yuuri and Victor were planning their life together and Yuri and Otabek were still dating long distance.

"I'm still amazed that you two stayed together all those years doing long distance. I don't think I could ever have been away from Yuuri for that long." Victor said, topping his glass of white wine off.

Yuuri nodded, "I agree. Those few times I went back home to visit without Victor were brutal. I can't believe that you two managed it for as long as you did."

Otabek shrugged, not being able to conceal his slightly smug grin. He couldn't help but be proud of the fact that they had stuck together through the distance. So many people had told him it wouldn't last, that they were too young and the time apart would be too much for them. Every time he heard it it just made him dig his heels in more, determined to show them differently.

Victor caught the look on Otabek's face. "You look awfully proud of yourself Otabek. You mean to tell me there was never a time where you thought, 'maybe this won't work out'?"

Otabek took a sip of his beer and shook his head. "Nope, we both knew what we had was special. We never once thought about breaking up."

Victor and Yuuri both sighed at Otabek's sweet pronouncement, while Yuri choked on his drink.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Beka?" He coughed.

Otabek stared at him, confused. "What? It's the truth."

"Do you not remember that," Yuri leaned in close, his voice growing quiet, " one time. "

Otabek sat back and frowned. "That doesn't count and you know it."

"The hell it doesn't! I cried for almost a week and blocked your calls!"

Otabek pointed his beer bottle in Yuri's direction. " You took everything I said the wrong way and ran with it. I can't help it if you overreacted and turned it into something it wasn't."

"I was not overreacting! It was just the right amount of reacting when you hear your boyfriend say, 'I can't fucking do this anymore.' I mean, what the hell was I supposed to think?"

Victor and Yuuri stared daggers at Otabek. "Otabek, what did you do to him?" Victor's head snapped around to look at Yuri, "and why didn't we ever hear about any of this?" Victor's eyes widened. "Tell me this didn't happen while you were living with us?"

Yuri squirmed in his seat. "Can we not talk about this?"

"You and Otabek broke up and you never told us?" Victor looked genuinely hurt. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Yuri scoffed audibly, "Because I didn't want to talk about it. Especially not with you two! Do you know how hard it would've been to tell Mr. and Mr. Perfect Relationship that my boyfriend broke up with me? I just wanted to wallow, I would have told you... eventually...I think."

Yuuri's eyes almost looked wet with tears. "Yurio, we could have been there for you. If we had known you two had broken up-"

"We didn't break up!" Otabek shouted, over the slowly rising voices.

"Sure as hell felt like it to me!" Yuri shot back.

A volley of 'did not', 'did too" went back and forth across the table before Victor hushed them with a sharp whistle. "How the hell did it happen?"

Both of the younger men opened their mouths to start their own version of the story. Victor held a hand up to Otabek. "No, Otabek I want to hear this from Yuri. He's the one that's been keeping it a secret from us all these years."

Yuri took a generous swig of his wine. "Well if you're going to be nosy about it. Fine."

They had been on the phone for over an hour, not really talking anymore, just laying there listening to each other breathe. Otabek wasn't a talker, even on a good day, but tonight he had been even more tight lipped.

"What's wrong Beka?" Yuri asked while hanging his head over the side of the bed. His hair was getting so long it almost touched the floor. He was watching it fall through his fingertips and wondering to himself if it was time for a haircut, when his entire life upended.

A long, tired sounding exhale fed it's way through the phone. "I'm tired of this Yura. I can't fucking do this anymore."

Yuri froze as his heart sped up. He felt his throat start to tighten as a hot flush of dizziness swept over him. He sat up on the bed, white knuckling the phone. After what felt like a day's worth of silence, he finally managed to croak out a feeble. "Wha- what? Otabek you don't mean that."

"Here me out, Yura. The distance is getting to be too much. I hate it, the late night phone calls, seeing each other every couple of months. The skype calls that end with both of us feeling even more frustrated and lonely. I can't do it anymore. I don't want to do this anymore."

You don't want to do this anymore?

The overwhelming fear quickly burned away, leaving nothing but raw anger. After all this time, all the years of juggling schedules and squeezing in time to talk, no matter how early or late it was, Otabek was going to just walk away? Like it was nothing? Like he was nothing? Yuri saw red, and his temper consumed him.

"What the fuck, Beka? You can't be serious?" He heard Otabek try to speak, but steamrolled over him. "You know what? Never-mind, fuck you! I knew this would happen. Although I thought maybe you'd be different. But, no that's fine, take the fucking cowardly route and break up with me, with no warning, in the middle of the night, on the goddamn phone! You don't even have the decency to skype me and look me in the eyes when you go and dump me!" Yuri wanted to scream at him, but it came a vehement hiss. It was late, and Victor and Yuuri were light sleepers.

"Yura, you don't understand-"

"No, I understand Otabek." Yuri cut him off, not wanting to hear whatever shitty cliche Otabek had at the ready. He didn't want to hear 'it's not you, it's me' or 'let's just be friends' , or god….his heart clenched at the thought, 'I've met someone' . "I'm not fucking stupid." His voice sounded cool and steady, even though his mind was melting "You want to break up. Fine. I'm not going to argue with you and I don't want to hear whatever the reason is. It's not like it matters. I mean, you're a thousand miles away. Nothing I say is going to stop you from doing this. If we were doing this face to face it'd be different, but you're in Almaty, and I'm here. There's no point. I can't keep you from doing what you want."

Yuri could already feel his heart reverting back to its old icy state; before he'd learned what happiness was...before Otabek. But oh, how he wanted to fight this. His nails dug into his palms as he clenched his fist. He wanted to rage and scream and beg for this not to happen, but what could he do? They were miles away from each other and it would be months before they saw each other again. If Otabek wanted to see other people, or just wanted to be single, there wasn't anything he could do. For all he knew Otabek had been doing that anyway for who knows how long. And there Yuri was, thinking everything was fucking peachy. He'd never felt so hurt and stupid in his life.

"Yura…I don't-" Otabek's voice cracked, "let me finish."

"Forget it, Otabek. Let's just end it like this. You know me, I like to rip the band aid off rather than suffer." Yuri's heart grew a little colder, he almost welcomed the numbness growing over him at this point. "We had a good run. Actually, it lasted longer than I thought it would so I guess that's something. I'm gonna go now."

He hung up, not even giving Otabek the chance to say goodbye. He couldn't bear to hear it anyway. To hear goodbye from Otabek would be like a death sentence. It meant everything was over, the one bright point in his life being snuffed out. Now he was back to where he'd started a few years ago. No friends, no one to lean on, no one to talk to. It'd be fine, really. He'd done it before and could do it again. He'd go back to relying on no one but himself. He didn't need anyone. Otabek had just proven what he'd known for years. Everyone leaves in the end.

But…

He'd never thought that of Otabek.

Otabek had never even hinted that he was unhappy. Sure, the distance sucked, that was something they both suffered through, but they made the most of the time they had together. Yuri thought that it was enough to keep them both happy until they could figure out a way to be together permanently. Apparently not.

You dumb fucker, of course it wasn't enough. Your relationship wasn't normal. Who tried to keep a relationship going across countries? You were stupid to think it would last. Otabek needed more than this….and so do you.

Yuri still clutched his phone. He let it drop from his hand, watching his knuckles turn from stark white to pink again. His phone bounced off the mattress and landed on the carpet with a muffled plunk. He slumped onto the bed feeling like he weighed a ton. A few seconds later his phone buzzed on the floor. He glanced at it from his now prone state, head hanging off the side. Beka flashed on the screen. Yuri just laid and stared at it as it vibrated across the floor, not making a move to silence it, or answer. Eventually, the screen went dark.

Yuri glanced at the clock it was close to three a.m. His alarm would be going off in three hours. He needed sleep...and figure out a way to compose himself for the morning. He shuddered at the thought of Yuuri and Victor finding out Otabek had dumped him. Yuuri would stick to him to him like glue and want to talk about feelings and shit, and Victor would start planning a trip to Almaty with the sole purpose of beating Otabek to a pulp. As much as he'd like to see that, it was better to keep his silence. In a few weeks, when his emotions were in check, he'd tell them. By then, hopefully, it wouldn't hurt as much and it could all be put behind him.

He shut his light off and curled up into a ball, pulling the blankets up around him. His phone lit up again, throwing eerie shadows around the room, the buzzing seemed louder now in the dark. Again he ignored it.

There in the darkness, with his phone still buzzing in his ears, he let himself go. The sobs he'd been keeping locked away broke free. He'd let himself have this, better to get it out now than fall to pieces in front of everyone at the rink tomorrow. Then there would be questions, and hugs, and pity. He couldn't deal with any of it. The last thing he wanted was people knowing that this had happened. There were a few people at the rink who had said they wouldn't last, and the thought of hearing 'I told you so' made his blood boil.

After another hour of listening to his phone buzz off and on he threw a pillow over it, muffling the noise.

Yuri woke up, with a clogged nose, and a headache that immediately reminded him of the nightmare of a few hours ago. He slid halfway off the bed, blindly grabbing for his phone. There were ten missed calls from Otabek, and almost a dozen texts. He swiped them all away not even wanting to read them. Of course Otabek would want to keep bothering him so he could explain, probably just to ease his own guilt.

Yuri grit his teeth at the thought. Let him feel guilty, let him feel like the asshole he was. That little bit of high ground was the only thing keeping Yuri from totally flying apart. He knew Otabek so well. The guilt of not being able to explain himself and smooth things over was probably killing him. Good. He flicked to Otabek's number and blocked it. It hurt so much to do it, but if Yuri was anything, he was thorough. If this was truly over then he'd cut all ties, better to do it now than linger over things. He wasn't sure how long he could ignore Otabek's calls anyway. Eventually, he'd weaken and then it would be last night all over again.

He shoved himself out of bed and took a shower, the hot water temporarily unclogging his nose and easing his sore head. He dressed, and looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes looked a little puffy, but the shower had taken away the splotchiness from crying. Now he just looked tired, if he played it right, he could just sell it as lack of sleep from being on the phone all night with...

Never mind, maybe that wasn't the best route.

Fuck it. If there were questions, he'd just have to wing it.

He trudged out to the kitchen, trying to keep his eyes trained on the floor.

"Morning Yurio," Yuuri sang out while stirring oatmeal, "hungry?"

Yuri shrugged and slumped into his chair. Yuuri left him be, knowing that he wasn't the chattiest person in the morning. Victor breezed in and placed a kiss on Yuuri's cheek. It made Yuri's throat tighten, seeing them both so happy. Victor caught him staring.

"What's wrong Yuri?" Victor came over and sat beside him, "bad night?"

If you only knew.

"Didn't get a lot of sleep. I feel like maybe I'm getting a cold, or allergies or something." Yuri sniffed, halfway for show, halfway to keep the tears in check. Victor tsked him and laid a palm on his forehead. Yuri shrugged him off, "I'm fine, it's not serious."

"There's allergy pills in the medicine cabinet, just make sure you take the non drowsy ones. Don't want to fall asleep on the ice." Victor went to ruffle his hair, but Yuri smacked his hand away.

Yuuri placed a bowl of oatmeal in front of him. He picked at it at first and then realized that that would just cause more problems. He forced his breakfast down even though his stomach twisted with every swallow.

That day on the ice was interminable. He went through the motions; doing his routine at least took his mind off Otabek for a short while. The minute he stepped off the ice though, it all came flooding back to him. He pulled out his phone and skimmed through it. No calls, no texts from anyone. Of course there wasn't. Otabek was the only who called or texted him regularly and he'd blocked his number. It was almost noon. Otabek would have called him around this time and they would have 'lunch' together. Otabek was three hours ahead, but he always took the time to sit and talk to him while he ate. Yesterday, Yuri was happily enjoying his sandwich while Otabek took a break from practice. They had talked about nothing in particular and it had all seemed pretty normal, but now that Yuri thought back on it, Otabek had been distant then too. Not upset, but he was definitely nervous about something and not his usual self.

Fuck, he was thinking about how to break up with me.

Yuri looked at the lunch Yuuri had made for him and shoved it back in his bag. His appetite was gone. Thankfully, no one noticed, if anyone said anything he could just blame it on not feeling well.

Eventually, practice ended and he could finally go home and curl up in bed. The tears were getting harder to hold back as the day went on. He promised himself that the minute he got home he could have a quiet sob in his room. After that, he could go back to pretending nothing was wrong. Yuri tossed his bag in the backseat of Victor's car and slid in next to it. Victor and Yuuri chatted away about the day while Yuri stared out the window.

On any other day, Yuri would go home, shower, have dinner, watch a little TV with Victor and Yuuri and wait for Otabek to call. It would be late in Almaty, and Otabek's voice would sound warm with just a hint of sleepiness. They'd talk about their day, or watch a show on Netflix while on the phone. It was awkward, but if Yuri closed his eyes, he could almost pretend Otabek was sitting there next to him. Then, if the mood was right, and it wasn't too late, they could go on to more intimate talks. Phone sex was something they had to work up to, but after being apart for so long they had become old pros at it.

Yuri's eyes threatened to spill over thinking about it. He sniffed again and pulled the hood of his jacket over his head, scrunching himself up into a tight ball.

Gone, it was all gone.

"You still not feeling well, Yurio?" Yuuri said, turning to face him.

"I guess not. It's not bad though, just a sniffle."

"You're eyes are watering. Did you take those allergy pills this morning?"

Shit.

Yuri shook his head, and wiped his eyes. "Guess I forgot. I'll take one when we get home."

"Good. Was Otabek busy at practice today?" Yuuri asked.

Yuri stiffened. "Why?"

"It's just that you usually facetime him at lunch and you didn't today. I guess he's getting ready for a competition?"

Otabek was busy. He was going to Germany in a few weeks for the Bavarian Open. He'd been so excited about his new program. It was the first time he was using music he'd made himself. Yuri had listened to it, in all it's variations for weeks before helping Otabek decide on the final version. Otabek had promised to make music for Yuri too someday. Guess that was one more thing he could kiss goodbye.

"Yeah, he's going to Germany in a few weeks. Guess he was too busy to call. It's fine, I can't expect him to be there for me all the time."

God, that hurt to say out loud. It was true though. He couldn't expect him to be there, not anymore.

"Well I hope he does well. Maybe after that he could come for a visit. He hasn't been here in ages. You must miss him a lot."

Fuck, if Yuuri didn't shut up soon Yuri was going to lose what little dignity he had left and bawl right there on Victor's leather seats like a child. He bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted copper on his tongue.

"Maybe. I'll see what his schedule is like."

That seemed to satisfy Yuuri, he turned around and went back to chatting to Victor.

Once home Yuri picked at his dinner, eating enough not to raise any eyebrows, and then took off to his room.

Finally, he was alone.

He turned some music on, turning it up loud enough to drown out any sounds of crying and promptly fell apart. Behind closed doors he allowed himself to wallow in his misery. He flicked through pictures on his phone of the two of them. Pictures from last Christmas in Almaty, photos of them in their costumes at Worlds a year ago, one of them outside Ice Castle Hasetsu. It had been Otabek's first trip to Hasetsu and Yuri had been thrilled to have two solid weeks together. They went in July and it had been so hot that they spent most days laying in front of a tiny fan that just barely moved the air around. They had gotten sweaty in other ways as well on that trip. Both of them whispering to the other that they had to be quiet. The walls were thin and everyone would hear. Yuri remembered sinking his teeth into Otabek's shoulder to keep from shouting, while Otabek slowly drove him wild. Otabek had red teeth marks on his shoulder for days, which had him constantly checking to see if it was covered. They were both adults, but the thought of Victor or Yuuri seeing them made him nervous as hell. That trip had been like a dream.

More photos from early on, when they were just friends. There was one Victor had taken. It was a candid shot, both of them looking at one another. Yuri smiling shyly, while Otabek looked at Yuri like he was the greatest thing on Earth. Yuri had asked Victor to send him the photo after he saw it. It made his insides flip and flutter when he looked at it, but he wasn't sure why at the time. That was when Victor and Yuuri had started teasing them, asking them if they were dating. Yuri had loudly denied it, but Otabek just grinned stupidly at them both, not saying a word.

God damn him. Damn him for be so….so fucking Otabek. Yuri tossed his phone away from him and looked around his room. Little piece of Otabek were tucked into every corner. A photo here, a memento there. Otabek's shirts were squirreled away in Yuri's dresser, his old team jacket he'd outgrown hung in his closet. Otabek had entrenched himself in Yuri's life, and he in his. He suspected he'd get a box of his own things in the mail in a few days. Would he send them? Or would he just toss his stuff? He wasn't sure which would hurt more. Otabek being thoughtful and taking the time to send him his things, or Otabek being heartless and throwing it all away.

He'd probably have to do the same at some point. Staring at Otabek's things day after day would just make his life worse, but not yet. He wasn't even close to dealing with all that just yet.

Now that he'd had a little time to process it all, he kicked himself for not letting Otabek explain things. Why did it have to end? What went wrong? Their relationship had been going well, all things considered. They had talked about moving in together someday, but there was always something holding one of them back. For awhile, Yuri couldn't leave Russia. Grandpa had been ill for a long time, and he wanted to be nearby. When he finally passed, Yuri could barely think straight, much less move to another country. Then the problem was Otabek's guilt about moving. He couldn't leave his team. It was already small enough as it was without him moving away. He couldn't do that to them.

Maybe Otabek was right. Maybe it was time to call it quits. It seemed like every time they got closer to being together permanently, something got in their way. Maybe Otabek was doing them both a favor by ending it. They could eventually find people who lived in the same country, things would be easier.

Yuri felt a new rush of tears. It would be easier, but it wouldn't be better. Otabek had ruined him for anyone else. Yuri hadn't dated anyone else, but he knew deep in his bones that he would never find anyone that made him feel the way Otabek did. From the very beginning they just fit. They balanced each other out in a way that was almost scary.

As mad as he was, he missed Otabek. He wanted to call him, to hear his voice, even if it was just to hear all the reason why they couldn't go on. His voice soothed him. Otabek could always calm him down. Who was he supposed to turn to now? His anchor was gone and he was drifting. He grabbed his phone again, and scrolled through his files, finding a few old voicemails. They weren't much, but it was something. He clicked on one.

"Hey Yura, guess I just missed you. I'm at my parents and Gigi keeps trying to paint my damn toenails. I wouldn't mind it, but she insists on pink, and you know how bad I look in pink. Anyway, just wanted to take a minute and say hi. I miss you, call me when you can."

Yuri laughed through his tears, imagining Gigi wrestling him to the ground and painting his nails. Otabek would pretend to fight her off, but eventually give in and let her do what she wanted. He always did where his little sister was concerned. He wished he could have seen that. He clicked on another.

"Yura, I just got a huge gig at the Barvikha club here in Almaty! I'm the headliner! Can you believe it? Damn, I wish you were here! I love you. I'll call you tomorrow and tell you all about it."

"Hey Yura, I know it's early, but I couldn't sleep and...just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you. I'll see you in a few weeks."

He played them all. Each one a tiny memento of their time together. Yuri finally fell asleep, the voicemails on repeat in his head.

Days had gone by and Yuri had started to feel comfortably numb. He'd worried (hoped) that Otabek would try to call Victor or Yuuri, but after three days of silence he figured it was really and truly over. He hadn't gotten a good night sleep since the break up. The circles under his eyes were growing darker. At some point, Victor and Yuuri would suspect that the problem was more than just a sniffle. He thought he'd been keeping up a decent facade though. He forced himself to eat a little at dinner every night and even managed to watch some TV with them, in the evenings, before escaping to his room to cry himself to sleep. But every morning, Yuuri commented on the blue circles under his eyes, his pale face, and his overly sullen mood. He'd catch Victor looking at him with a discerning eye from time to time too, and waited nervously for Victor to ask him what was wrong. Thankfully, he never said a word.

On the fourth morning, after a particularly long night of quiet sobbing Yuri shuffled, zombie like, into the kitchen for breakfast. Like clockwork, Yuuri was at the stove and Victor sat tapping away on his phone in between sips of coffee.

"Morning, Yurio." Yuuri said in the same soft, yet chipper way he did every morning.

"Morning." Yuri croaked, his throat tight and scratchy.

"I knew it." Yuuri said, setting his spoon down on the counter, "I knew you were getting worse. Didn't I say he was getting worse, Victor?"

"I'm fine." Yuri said roughly, trying to clear his throat.

"No you aren't. You're staying home today. I'll tell Yakov you're home sick when we get to the rink."

"Really, I'm fine." Yuri said in a near whisper. He sat down at the table rubbing his temples. He had to stop all this crying. His head felt like it was about to burst. Yuuri set breakfast in front of him. He must have been missing home, he'd cooked his favorite Japanese breakfast, tofu floating in miso soup and rice. Usually, Yuri loved Japanese breakfast days, but today, he made a face and pushed it away. The smell of the soup turning his stomach.

"Okay, now I know you're sick. Stay home today, Yurio. Do it for me, so I don't worry about you."

Goddammit. Yuri couldn't deal with Yuuri when he switched on the mom guilt. If he went to the rink Yuuri really would worry over him all day. Staying home was better than being treated like an invalid in front of everyone. Maybe a day at home to cry and scream out loud would be just what he needed. Then maybe he could finally tackle clearing his room of Otabek.

"Fine, if it'll make you feel better I'll stay home." He pushed the soup a little further away, "is there any yogurt in the fridge?"

Yuuri seemed pleased to see him wanting to eat something. "Strawberry, or blueberry?"

"Blueberry." Yuri rasped.

Victor sat across from him, staring at him again. "You sure you're okay, Yuri?"

"I'm fine. I'll sleep today, drink lots of water, and watch some movies."

Victor tilted his head a bit, and Yuri waited for him to press him for more. "Alright, but if you aren't feeling better by tomorrow, I'll make an appointment for you."

Yuri rolled his eyes. It was the most painful eye roll of his life with his head still pounding, but it seemed to placate Victor.

"I guess if you can still manage to make faces at me you must not be too sick. There's cold meds in the bathroom, take some, get some sleep. Yuuri and I are going out after practice to have dinner with some friends. We won't be out too late, but if you need anything call us."

Yuuri held out a cup of yogurt to him, and a bottle of water. "If you want to go eat in bed you can."

Grateful for the chance to escape, Yuri grabbed his breakfast and rushed to his room.

Yuri took Victors advice. He didn't have a cold, but the thought of a good sleep, even if it was a drug induced one, sounded heavenly. It would help with his headache and sore throat too. He downed a bit of cold medicine and curled up in bed with his breakfast. He barely set his spoon down on the nightstand before he was asleep.

Yuri was having the weirdest dream. This was why he didn't like to take medicine, it always messed with his head. Someone was playing the drums, a loud pounding beat that wouldn't stop. Yuri shook himself awake, but the drumming noise kept going.

He sat up, bleary eyed. It wasn't drumming...someone was knocking on the front door. Actually it was more of a steady pounding than knocking.

Yuri staggered to his feet and made his way to the front door. It was probably Yuuri coming home to check on him, dumbass must've left his keys at the rink. He opened it, not even bothering to look through the peephole and was engulfed in leather clad arms. His brain was suddenly in overdrive, as he was yanked towards and all too familiar body. The movement was so quick Yuri could barely process what was happening. The scent of leather and smokey scented soap hit his nose and the brush of stubble against his cheek almost made him sag in relief.

It couldn't be Otabek. He must still be dreaming. He'd never take cold medicine again if this is what it did to him.

"Fuck you, Yura." Otabek said, his voice breaking, "fuck you so fucking much."

Funny, as nasty as the words were Otabek didn't sound angry, he sounded desperate.

"Beka?" Yuri said in woosh as Otabek squeezed the air out of him. The only answer he got was a strangled sound against his neck, as Otabek gripped him tighter.

"You blocked my number. I had to see you. I wanted to explain."

Yuri was rearing back and pushing him away in an instant. "You flew here just to finish breaking up with-"

Otabek snagged him by the arms and pressed a kiss to his mouth. Yuri fought more, beating his fists against his chest, and trying to knee him in the crotch. Who the fuck did he think he was, snagging one last kiss before he finally left for good. Otabek held him tighter for a few more desperate seconds before pulling away.

"For once in your life would you just shut up and let me talk?"

Yuri opened his mouth to argue, only to have Otabek's large hand clamp down over his mouth. For a split second Yuri contemplated biting him, it would serve him right for coming all the way to St. Petersburg just to aggravate him.

"I said shut up. I'm not breaking up with you." Yuri's eyes went wide and he stilled. "I never wanted to break up with you. You wouldn't let me finish the other night. Now, I'll take my hand away, but only if you promise to let me talk. Promise?"

Yuri nodded, and Otabek took his hand away. Otabek grabbed his duffle bag that was laying in the hall and set it by the door. Then shrugged off his jacket and hung it on the hook. Yuri took a moment to look him over. His hair was unstyled, black locks hanging limply across his forehead. He had the same dark circles under his eyes, though with his golden skin tone they took on a more purple hue. The thick stubble on his face was a sign he hadn't been shaving and his eyes were as bloodshot and wet looking as Yuri's.

He looked miserable, and god Yuri wanted to hug him again. It made him oddly happy that Otabek looked as bad as he did, but Otabek held him back. "Talk first. We'll hug after, if I don't strangle you first."

It was an empty threat and Yuri brushed it off. "Fine."

Otabek paced back and forth across the living room rug for a few tense second. "Okay," he said finally, "I meant it when I said I was tired of doing long distance. I hate it and I don't want to do it anymore. I want us to move in together. I'm done doing long distance, I want to live with you."

Yuri felt the room start to spin. "Move in?" Yuri squawked, his throat still sore.

"Yeah, but then you decided to go insane and block my calls. Which by the way, don't ever fucking do that again. That was a shitty thing to do. Even if it had been a breakup, you should have at least given me a chance to say what I had to say instead off just cutting me off like a dick. This has been the worst four days of my life."

"Move in?" Yuri repeated.

"Yes." Otabek said, nervously. "You. Me. Move in together. I mean if you don't want to I understand. You thought I broke up with you. I get that maybe you might not want to after that. If you don't want to just tell me now and I'll leave. No arguing, no questions as. I know I didn't say any of this properly the other night, but I love you and-"

"When?" Yuri said, quietly.

Otabek stopped rambling and they spent a few quiet seconds staring at one another.

"Immediately. If you still want me."

Yuri sprang at him, throwing his arms around his neck, "Fuck yes, I still want you!"

Otabek held him tightly, both of them choking on tears.

"I missed you so much, Yura." Otabek said, kissing him.

"Missed you too." He ran his fingers through Otabek's flopped over hair, brushing it off his forehead. "Thought you broke up with me." He said between kisses.

Otabek broke away and rested his forehead against Yuri's. "I know, I know. I'm sorry, I did it all wrong. I'm so sorry." Otabek huffed out a rough laugh, "I guess 'I can't fucking do this anymore' wasn't the best way to start that kind of conversation. I was nervous, and worried you'd say no, so I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind."

Yuri gave his chest a weak slap. "Why would you think I'd say no?"

"I thought maybe you'd talk me into sticking with my team, or maybe you weren't ready yet, or I don't know! I thought of a hundred different reasons you'd say no. I told you, I was nervous."

"You had no reason to be. I've been wanting to move in with you for months now, but then grandpa died, and you felt guilty about leaving your team in the lurch. After that, I didn't want to be the one to ask, so I just left it alone. So wait, you came all the way here just to ask me to move in with you?"

"You didn't give me any choice. I tried calling you that night, I texted you a lot, but you didn't answer. What else could I do?"

"That was four days ago, Beka." What the hell had he been doing this whole time?

"I know, that first day I was in a fog. I just, couldn't believe what had happened. I was trying to call you, but didn't get an answer. Then after you blocked me I thought that was it. I thought you didn't want to speak to me anymore."

"I didn't. I thought you dumped me."

"I didn't, I swear I didn't. I just fucked up." Otabek said, shakily.

"You did…" Yuri nodded absently, "you really, really did."

"Then I decided the only way to talk to you was to come here, but I had a few things to take care of first."

Yuri bristled at that. Their relationship was in tatters and he what? Had errands to run first?

"Like what?" Yuri said coolly.

"Pack my things, tell my coach I'm quitting the team."

Yuri's jaw practically hit the floor. "You wha-?"

"I packed up my stuff and quit the team. I can't stay there and be miserable, just to make them happy. That's no way to live. I decided if I was coming here, I was staying. My stuff will be here in a few days, and I'm talking to Yakov tomorrow about joining the team. He's asked me a few times over the years, so I don't think it will be a problem."

"Packed your things…" Yuri felt like a parrot repeating Otabek's words.

"I'm here Yura. I'm not going back. I'm staying here with you. My parents were sad I wanted to move, but when anam heard I planned to move in with you, she practically packed for me. She's so happy, Yura I wish you could have seen her. After everything was packed up, I took the first flight I could get my hands on. I went to the rink first this morning and ran into Mila. She said you were home sick, so I came here."

"Here for good? You're here for good?" Yuri barely heard everything Otabek was saying he was talking so fast. He just stood there, dumbfounded, trying to process it all.

Otabek gathered him up in a tight hug again. "I'm here for good."

Finally, a sob erupted from Yuri's chest and he burrowed closer. This time though, it was a sob of relief. The last few days had been a mistake. A horrible, stupid mistake. Yuri's shoulders shook as his tears dampened Otabek's shirt.

"God, I hope that's a happy cry you're having there." Otabek laughed.

Yuri could only nod through his tears.

"I'm sorry, Yura. I screwed this all up." He cupped the back of Yuri's head and pressed him against his chest. "I promise I'll make it up to you. Shit, Yuuri and Victor must be ready to kill me. I'm glad it was Mila I ran into and not them. I didn't even think about how they'd react to seeing me."

Yuri sniffled and wiped his nose with his sleeve. "They don't know. I didn't tell them anything. That's why I'm home today. They think I'm sick."

"You kept this to yourself for four days? Yura, I-" Otabek didn't know what to say. The past four days had been a blur to him with all the packing and planning. It must have been sheer torture for Yuri.

"I didn't tell anyone. I didn't want people pitying me. I figured in a week or two I'd tell them once I felt a little stronger."

Otabek knew he would have, too. Yuri would have kept it locked up tight until he was ready let it out. Even then he'd keep a stiff upper lip about it and pretend he was fine. He'd had years of practice at pretending to be fine.

"You plan on telling them at all?" Otabek asked. They probably suspected something was up, but knew better than to grill Yuri for answers.

"Probably not. I mean, there's no reason to now. It's better for them to just think I'm sick. If Victor finds out you broke up with me he'll definitely give us shit about moving in together."

Otabek chuckled, "I didn't break up with you. You just thought I did."

Yuri gave him a weepy eyed glare, "You don't really want to go there right after we made up, do you?"

Otabek laughed out loud and it was music to Yuri's ears. "No, I don't. Let's focus on the moving in together part."

"Shit. We need a place to live!" Yuri was suddenly wiggling out of his arms and racing into his bedroom for his laptop.

Otabek followed him. "Yura we've got time. I can stay at a hotel, or here."

"No fucking way. You're not staying in a hotel, and we aren't living here if we can help it." Yuri was already tapping away at his laptop for apartments for rent.

"Yura," Otabek closed the laptop and set it aside, flustering Yuri further. "I can stay wherever, but we aren't going to find a place today. We've got time, we've actually got all the time in the world."

"But-"

Otabek tugged him towards him, kissing him long and slow. He felt Yuri relax into his arms.

"We've got time before Victor and Yuuri come home too…" Otabek murmured against his neck.

Oh. Ohhhh.

"Yeah, we do." Yuri was already tugging at the hem of Otabek's shirt.

Victor sat, mouth hanging open at the dinner table. "That happened...that actually happened?"

Yuri nodded. "Yep, for four days Otabek and I broke up."

"I didn't break up with you." Otabek groused.

Yuri glared at him. "Apples and oranges, Beka. For you it was a four day move, for me it was four days of crying in my room thinking my life was over."

Yuuri took a long drink of his wine, processing the story. "I always wondered why Otabek was just suddenly here and you were moving in together. I mean, I was glad to have you here while you guys looked for a place, and you both looked happy, but it seemed so sudden. "

"It wasn't." Otabek said, "I had been wanting to bring it up for weeks, but when I finally went to ask him, it kinda just went to hell. Then I had to improvise."

Victor turned to Otabek, suddenly finding his voice. "I'm glad it worked out. You know if Yuri had told me about you two breaking up I would have gone to Almaty to kick your ass."

"And that's precisely why I didn't tell you." Yuri countered, "you'd get all dramatic and... paternal on me and Yuuri would be all over me acting like I was dying. You two have no middle ground, it's either super chill, or a soap opera around here. It was bad enough Beka broke up with me, I didn't need you two smothering me on top of that."

"Yura, will you stop telling people we broke up! It makes me look like an asshole." Otabek tried so hard to sound upset, but an exacerbated laughed followed.

"No," Yuri laughed, "the story sounds better that way. Otherwise, I look like a moron that flew off the handle."

"Umm, that's kind of exactly what happened." Otabek grumbled.

"I'm not changing it. I'm the one that suffered for four days. We tell it my way."

"I changed my mind. Can I break up with you now?"

"Nope, it's a done deal." Yuri settled in close to him, resting his head on his shoulder. "There's no returns or exchanges."

Otabek pressed a kiss to his head. "Fine. I guess I'll just have to keep you then."

So there it is, how our boys moved in together. I Hope you liked it, I'm a bit rusty, but I enjoyed writing this and that's what matters. I can't promise I'm back to updating regularly, but I'm gonna try my hardest. I love this story too much and I've worked too hard on it give up on. On to the good news. I'm going to be in a zine! It's my first and I'm incredibly excited about it. It's called A Place to Call Home: A Domestic Otayuri Zine where I will have a whole new domestic Otayuri story for you to enjoy! Go check out it's tumblr page and share it up!