PLEASE read the note at the end when you can.

Besides that, enjoy the story! :)

The world was a cruel and unforgiving place. Bertolt Hoover knew that better then anyone else.

His life was a burden, a hindrance for everyone he knew and loved, and he hated that - yet there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

The Eldian's in paradise where monstrous, horrible creatures that deserved nothing but death. They were the ones responsible for his miserable life, so they were the ones who had to suffer for it. Of course, that's what he was taught to believe.

Somehow he made it by and was given the opportunity to be useful, offered a position at a young age to become what's known to be a cadet warrior. It all started from there. He was chosen to become the next inheritance of one of the seven Titans, the Colossus Titan.

His first mistake.

He was ordered to take down the Eldians in the year 845 along with three others, and they did just that. In a matter of seconds Bertolt Hoover had become a prime threat to humanity, and, according to what he's been told, that was only the next step to completing his mission, and he believed it.

His second mistake.

Years prior to the slaughter he met and befriended an Eldian by the name of Eren Jeager, his third and most fatal mistake.

They laughed together, they cried together - hell, they went through a lot together. Eren told him how the Colossus Titan killed his mother, how he could do nothing but watch her be devoured, and just how defenseless he was against such a monster. It almost hurt listening to him. Almost.

Bertotlt gave his condolences.

*(*)And Again(*)*

They hid their identities well, however there were times Reiner had completely forgotten about his true self. He was a warrior, not a soldier, and every now and then he would have to remind him that, his best friend.

Reiner was broken. There were times Bertolt had asked him about what they should do next, and the other looked lost, one night in particular being being a good example. The two were alone in the stables grooming the horses when he first noticed it. The taller had asked him about the mission, and he'll never forget the puzzled look he gave him in return.

"What are you talking about? What mission?"

Bertolt almost smacked him right then and there.

After that incident it became an everyday routine, and every now and then he had to remind his friend of his blissful ignorance. Annie didn't say anything about it either, ignoring the problem entirely. They never really conversed with one another, but that was understandable. Nothing really needed to be said.

Unfortunately, at some point she was caught. At some point she slipped away and Bertolt never saw her again. She failed the mission.

Reiner forgot about it easily and moved on, Bertolt could not.

He lost all of his friends on a day that was suppose to be standard.

Titans had breached wall Rose and everyone was immediately put to work. One of his Eldian friends lost his entire village, another fought a titan with her bare hands to save a child and somehow lived to tell her heroic act, and another revealed herself to have murdered one of his comrades in cold blood.

Ymir, a sarcastic girl who only seemed to live for herself, was the very reason a fourth warrior could not complete his mission. She devoured him before their very eyes, Reiner being the one to help the rest of them retreat before they were all eaten. They had to wait another day to come back and take down Wall Maria after that. She helped them escape a hoard of titans, but that didn't change the fact that Bertolt wanted her dead.

During the take back of wall Rose his true identity was revealed.

It was a good day for Reiner. He didn't have to be reminded why they were in paradise in the first place. He told Eren about their unforgiving act, about everything, and that if he didn't come quietly with them they would do it all again, right then and there. Bertolt played along, secretly thankful to finally take off the pitiful mask he's had on for so long. He was finally able to breath again, and now was his chance to finish it all in one blow-

But then he came and ruined everything.

Armin Arlert, Eren Jeager and Mikasa Ackerman's childhood best friend. The boy wasn't strong physically, but it was almost frightening how intelligent he was. Reiner told him at some point to stay cautious of him, but they hung around one another as if they've been friends all their lives. It was sickening.

Armin was the one who blinded Bertolt and took Eren right from under his nose, and he was the one who figured out their hiding spot when they tried to take him back - he was the one who took Annie away.

Bertolt loathed the blond, but a part of him understood his actions, and he despised that.

Armin's intelligence was wasted. He would have been so much more useful if he weren't an Eldian. They could have been better friends. Bertolt knew he would have most likely become a warrior if he weren't raised to be a soldier. Armin was one of the very few people who, after a while, frightened the Colossus - and for that, he needed him dead.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen.

His life was taken by the very person he couldn't stand, all because of the Eldians he had befriended.

They all just watched as his life slipped away - no remorse, no grief, no regrets. Nothing. They did nothing. And, regrettably, Bertolt understood.

Everything flashed before his eyes - his life, his choices, his friends, even his enemies. In the back of his mind, for a very, very brief moment, he regretted everything.

He regretted all the lives he'd taken for self gain, the innocence he had stolen from women and children because of not what he believed in, but what the other Eldians believed in - what the Marley's believed in. He regretted not being able to go out for drinks with his friends as promised after they retired, he regretted not telling Eren how truly sorry he actually was about his mother's death, and he regretted not being able to say goodbye to Annie.

It all happened so fast, and Bertolt will absolutely never forget about just how terrifying it was to die.

Death happened all around him, he's seen it more times then he would have liked, and it was a fear he knew he had to deal with one day.

He soiled himself, screaming louder then he ever thought possible, and everybody just watched.

That's all he remembered after that, and despite it all the feelings he had before he died was ten times worse than the physical pain. Quite the warrior he turned out to be...

Bertolt could've only wished he had half of Reiners ignorance.

*(*)And Again(*)*

"Alright, we should be ready to get started soon."

He was on his back when he slowly opened his eyes. It was warm, comforting. Bertolt likes the feeling.

Looking up he sees a clear blue sky, the sun's warmth washing over him as the strong scent of beans filled the air. He slowly turns his head and sees a small rusted pot cooking beside him, a low fire underneath it as steam seeps above it.

There were voices. Two voices to be exact, and the both of them were very familiar.

Huh?

"But I haven't even finished eating yet. Let's do it before the sun goes down, ok? Relax a little." Comes the other voice, further away from him. The first voice scoffs and seems somewhat annoyed.

"Hell no! You know damn well we need to get this done and over with as soon as possible! I didn't drag your asses here for nothing!"

The second voice sighs, and Bertolt can hear footsteps getting closer to him. "Yeah, yeah. I heard you the first time... Ah! Bertolt your finally awake!"

Bertolt blinks several times as he sits up, quickly noticing just how big everything looked. The pot he saw before was bigger then both his hands, and his feet were a lot smaller then he remembered. Looking down at his clothes, he doesn't remember putting them on at all. Wasn't he in uniform before-

He froze.

He was in uniform, but then...

Bertolt's heart sank. He gasps and frantically looks around, finding himself face to face with the very last person he expected to see.

"Oi, Bert, you alright?" Marcel asks, arms crossed.

Marcell Gillard, one of the fallen warriors.

Bertolt still remembers his heroic act, saving the three of them by sacrificing himself just so that they could live. He never forgot his face. In fact, he looked exactly the same from when they last met. Nothing about him changed.

"Oi, Bertolt, you ok?" The second voice spoke again, and he recognizes him to be none other then his best friend, Reiner Braun.

His mouth goes dry, and subconsciously he makes an effort to get away from the both of them.

Reiner frowns. "Bertolt?" He questions again, and this time Marcel seems to catch on, but he doesn't say anything about it.

Annie stood close by, some firewood in her arms. Much like the rest of them she looked very young, everything else about her remained quite the same, personality included. It was never easy for him to tell what she was really feeling.

Bertolt remained frozen in place, unable to say or really do anything. It wasn't until Marcel actually offered a hand to help him up when he finally screams.

Reiner immediately runs to his side and asks him what was wrong, but Bertolt snapps at him and tells him to stay away. Tears come streaming down his face, and he finds it very difficult to keep his attention off of Marcel, someone who was suppose to be long dead.

His mind goes numb, and just as Annie starts to say something the ground shakes violently.

A titan had emerged from the ground, and was glaring down at all of them, hungrily, and Bertolt knew exactly what was about to happen.

He had somehow managed to pull himself together then and there, yanking Marcel down in his place while the titan lunged itself at Reiner. The blond was paralyzed with fear, eyes wide and unable to move, just how Bertolt remembered it. In a panic he cries out his name, pushing him out of the way as the titan swung it's arm down on them.

He saved his friend. Unfortunately no one was able to save him.

The titan got a hold of him, and there's a sharp pain that's sent through Bertolts spine as he struggles.

He could only watch as the fear came crawling back to him. Just like before he could do nothing as the monster opened it's jaw and bit down on him hard, and the last thing he remembers seeing is the horrified expression Reiner had on him, Marcel screaming his name before everything went black once more.

*(*)And Again(*)*

This time he woke up covered in sweat, a young Annie to his side crouched down at his level.

He screams again.

"The hell!?" Marcel ran over to him along with Reiner, both surprised. "Bertolt what is wrong with you!? Are you trying to get us caught!?"

He goes to say something, but only small noises come out of him. He shakes his head and violently rubs his eyes. This...this can't be real...

He... He was back? And... he was alive? Bertolt looks himself over again, then his surroundings: same pot, same smell, same clothes - nothing's changed. Almost as if nothing happened. He looks to Reiner who gives him a worried glance.

Marcel regains his composure and drags out a sigh. "Damn it, don't just up and do something like that. I thought you saw a titan or something."

Bertolt's eyes widened.

Ymir!

"W-we," He started to say, and it really catches him off guard just how light his voice is. He clears his throat and tries again. "We need to get out of here."

No one says anything, and for a very split second, Marcel almost looks angry.

"Why?" Suddenly questions Annie, and Bertolt flinches hearing her voice. He doesn't recall how long it's been, how long it's actually been since he's last seen her face. It starts to bring tears to his eyes. She was here, all of them were, and they were alive.

They were safe.

Bertolt uses his sleeve to wipe his eyes, taking in a deep breath to control himself. It all felt so strange, weird even. It didn't feel right. No words could describe what he was feeling, maybe a sense of Deja vu, but that's the closest it's going to get.

"...A titan." He whispers. It occurs to him that Ymir probably noticed them because they made to much noise. Maybe. It could have also been their scent that gave them away, or perhaps their presence all together that disturbed her, but none of that mattered now. He needed to focus on keeping all of them alive, and there was only one way to make that happen.

Run

"Huh? What about a titan?" Reiner looks around. "Actually, I think we scared a few off when-"

"T-there's a titan! Over there! Right behind you!" He clears his throat again, reminding himself to keep his voice down. "We...need to get out of here."

The other three looked over to the direction he was pointing, and believe it or not, you could almost visibly see a few claw like fingers poking out from beneath the surface. It almost blends in with the earth, but if you got a good look at them, they were fairly noticeable. Bertolt wants to kick himself for not noticing them before. He started to wonder how long she had been under there. A few years maybe?

Marcel blinks several times. "What the- Oh shit, your right!" He goes over to a few backpacks piled up near the wall and tosses one over to Reiner, telling him to quickly put out the fire. "We'll do this somewhere else. Annie, get your stuff to. Reiner if that things jumps out, you transform and get us out of here. And Bertolt...Good eye."

Something inside his chest starts to swell, and it wasn't until Reiner had asked him again what was wrong did he notice the tears. Nothing made sense. Annie, Reiner- Marcel! None of them should be here. And...they were kids? Bertolt looks down at his hands again and notices them trembling, cheeks flushed as he started to wipe his eyes again. He was in shock.

What...what's going on...

It doesn't take very long for Ymir to finally notice the four of them, and it takes Reiner only mere seconds to cut his hand open and get them all out of there safely. The deviant chases them for a while, but at some point they escape her after Reiner finds a way to get his hands on the nape.

Bertolt flinches when a sickening crunch comes from the titan bellow him, an ear piercing howl ripping through the air before she finally goes limp and falls to the ground with a heavy 'thud'.

Marcel praises the blond for his deed, and Bertolt can't help the small grin that escapes him.

This is the first chapter. Yeah. Kind of short, but in my defense i'm extremely iffy with it.

If you like it and want more, please tell me with a review. I need at least ten to get me to continue with this story. I have ideas for it, but, again, very iffy with it. (I don't know if others would be interested)

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it either way. If I write another one I'll make sure it's a bit longer. Thank you for reading!