Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama or The Ridonculous Race. They belong to Teletoon and Fresh TV. I don't own Total Drama Online, either.

A/N: The following are fanon biographies of my own devising that could have existed on Total Drama Online listed of every Total Drama Presents: The Ridonculous Race contestant. They are loosely based off of the questionnaires asked to the contestants of World Tour and Revenge of the Island from Total Drama Online.

PART 1

Brody

What is your best quality?

Being one of the most sincere and fair-playing dudes in Total Drama history. That, and my talent of downing an entire pot of pork and beans!

Faves? (music, color, movie, food)

• David Bowtie

• Sea green

• Deadly Weapon 2

• Beans and burritos

Describe your favorite country.

America, dude! It's the only place on Earth with more dude ranches than Canada!

Best travel so far?

I once visited San Francisco. The Golden Gate Bridge and the Transamerican Pyramid are awesome, and there's lots of cool stuff to do in Chinatown.

Worst travel so far?

Detroit. Man, that place is so a dystopia! Crime, grime, and slime everywhere, and a bad economy, too! I can see why the city was used as a locale in the movie Cybercop!

What is your lifelong to-do list?

Cage dive with Great White Sharks, take pilot lessons, finish a triathlon and learn to speak Spanish.

If you could switch places with someone?

Clint Eastwood, the greatest dude of them all!

Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?

Geoff's my best bro, but sometimes he thinks I'm letting him down. He's temporarily fooled by other people's attempts to mess with us and split us apart. Dude, I know Geoff would never let me down, and I'd never let him down!

Where would you most like to visit, and why?

Germany is so cool! I wanna go there, eat a genuine German bratwurst, drink a good, stiff beer (after I'm the right age to do so), and sing folk songs at Oktoberfest!

What would you do if you won the million dollars?

I'd donate a lot of the money to support keeping the oceans clean, and to fund the right for today's youth to go surfing anytime, anywhere, any day. I'd use some of it to pay for college and give a share to Geoff's girl, Bridgette, too.

Carrie

What is your best quality?

My empathy. It's easy for me to tell what other people are feeling, so I know when Devin likes me the way I love him. Or rather, when he loves Shelley.

Faves? (music, color, movie, food)

• Adelie

• Sunny yellow

• My Sassy Girl (Korean version)

• Grilled chicken, or fried

Describe your favorite country.

Italy is so romantic and so beautiful! I want to retire in Venice (before the city sinks) and take lots of rides on gondolas, eat pasta at an elegant restaurant, and become a round American-Italian citizen.

Best travel so far?

I once visited Quebec. I loved the French culture there, and also learned to speak French during my stay.

Worst travel so far?

I dreamed that Shelley took me to North Korea, and turned me over to Kim Jong-un personally. Then I was sent to a prison camp for hard labor. Damn Shelley!

What is your lifelong to-do list?

See Yosemite Park and its bears, have fun in Hersheypark and eat a record number of Hershey Kisses, ride a gondola, and marry Devin.

If you could switch places with someone?

Easy. Shelley. That fog witch always gets in the way not only of me, but also Devin's attention span!

Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?

Devin is so adorable, but I have a nagging feeling that his empathy is weaker than mine. We've known each other since we were very little, and he still can't perceive that we have a connection. I'm going to be alone forever!

Where would you most like to visit, and why?

Italy, of course, or France. I want to woo Devin in one of the most romantic spots on Earth, and I want to do it before Shelley can beat me to the punch!

What would you do if you won the million dollars?

I would buy a nice, modest mansion in a safe, beautiful neighborhood, settle down with Devin, and make the mansion's interior into an extreme home.

Chet

What is your best quality?

I'm stronger, smarter, and handsomer than my jerk of a stepbrother, Lorenzo.

Faves? (music, color, movie, food)

• Rock 'n roll

• The color of snot

• Ninja Dinosaurs 4

• Meaty pizza

Describe your favorite country.

My own, Canada. Who cares about getting off your butt and journeying to strange places full of strange people? Not me!

Best travel so far?

Down to the local arcade for some fun and games.

Worst travel so far?

The house where Lorenzo's family, my in-laws, live.

What is your lifelong to-do list?

Win a high score at Immortal Kombat, read all the Captain Canada comics, and bury Lorenzo in a hole so deep, he won't know which way is up.

If you could switch places with someone?

Nobody. I'm happy being the cool guy I am!

Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?

Lorenzo had better stay out of my way, or else it's gonna be a world of pain for him!

Where would you most like to visit, and why?

If I had to travel, I'd say Great Britain. Good food, good pubs, and I don't have too much of a language barrier.

What would you do if you won the million dollars?

Buy all the monster and ninja DVDs and video games in existence, and binge watch/play them in my room.

Crimson

What is your best quality?

I accept the dark side of life, and I don't fear it, like so many non-Goths do.

Faves? (music, color, movie, food)

• Heavy metal

• Crimson red, the color of blood

• Vampira, Part 6

• Rare veal

Describe your favorite country.

Finland is awesome, and beautiful. It has a cold climate, four months of total darkness, and Goth music is mainstream.

Best travel so far?

Ennui and I visited a haunted castle in Germany. The place felt like it actually was inhabited by ghosts. Vlad Dracula would've loved it.

Worst travel so far?

A concert in Vienna, Austria. The light, sweet, classical music coming from all those stringed instruments made me want to shudder.

What is your lifelong to-do list?

Be buried alive in a coffin for an hour, drink lots of red wine, buy half a dozen flamboyant Goth dresses, and live in Finland.

If you could switch places with someone?

Elvira. She is pale as a ghost, has cleavage like melons, and can suck a mean streak of fresh blood.

Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?

Ennui can be a little theatrical sometimes. He needs to remember more often that Goths do not display drama.

Where would you most like to visit, and why?

Transylvania, Romania, same as Ennui. The idea of getting to see Count Dracula's castle and tomb up close and personal makes me feel… fulfilled.

What would you do if you won the million dollars?

"…Mmm, you know, Goth stuff…"

Devin

What is your best quality?

I can love a girl with all my heart and soul, no matter who she is or what she's like, just like Shelley feels for me!

Faves? (music, color, movie, food)

• Celine Dion

• Pale purple

• Planes, Trains and Automobiles

• Apples

Describe your favorite country.

Tahiti is my favorite country. It's lovely, it's natural, and its natives are some of the happiest people on Earth. I'd love to live on a deserted Tahitian island, or maybe Teti'aroa, Marlon Brando's old home.

Best travel so far?

I took an exciting vacation on Lake Ontario with Carrie. It was so delightful, listening to her joyous squeals whenever something amazing happened. It's like she's in love, but I wonder, with whom?

Worst travel so far?

I've never been anywhere I hated. Weird, don't you think?

What is your lifelong to-do list?

Master the game of tennis with Shelley and Ashton's help, go on worldwide adventures with Carrie, and maybe even try roasting pinecones instead of marshmallows. I want to see what a roasted pinecone looks like, and smells like.

If you could switch places with someone?

I've always wanted to experience what it's like to be a K-Drama actor. They get some of the best acting roles on the planet, and that includes Japan, France, and even America.

Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?

Carrie's the perfect best friend. What kind of problems could we possibly have?

Where would you most like to visit, and why?

Seoul, South Korea. It has excellent K-Pop, kimchi, video games, cup-stacking contests, music, and advancements in technology, not to mention the world's fastest Wi-Fi. The best ever!

What would you do if you won the million dollars?

I'd split it into thirds, one for Shelley, one for Carrie, and one for me. Then I'd use my share to buy the most lavish and expensive gifts for Shelley, and the best adolescent toys for Carrie.

Dwayne

What is your best quality?

My ruggedly handsome charm. I can sweet talk almost anyone into befriending me. Almost.

Faves? (music, color, movie, food)

• Pop music

• Gray

• WALL-E-I-E-I-O

• Mashed potatoes and gravy

Describe your favorite country.

Japan has the most lovely women of any country I know, and the most spectacular feminine advertisements ever, too. For a country with little gender equality, they sure do love their women, and I can see why. DON'T TELL MY WIFE!

Best travel so far?

We once visited Puerto Rico when Junior was five, and wowsers, it's so much like its host country, America! Uh, isn't it the 51st state?

Worst travel so far?

On a flight to Las Vegas, I almost hit on a hooker by complete accident. Boy, was my wife mad! Junior was pretty embarrassed by that, too. He shouldn't witness things like that at his age.

What is your lifelong to-do list?

I've already done a lot of stuff, but let's see. I want to see Junior grow up, achieve his dreams, and become a success in life. I also want to find and eat the best pizza in the world!

If you could switch places with someone?

Chevy Chase, I say. The man plays some of the smartest lead characters in modern comedy, and, like me, he has a ruggedly handsome charm.

Your biggest challenge on the Race with your partner?

Junior's a great kid, but like all kids, he needs to be kept in line sometimes. I'm a little afraid he might be growing up too fast, and kids should enjoy their childhood while it lasts, with plenty of balloons and lollipops!

Where would you most like to visit, and why?

Kenya, in one word: Wildlife!

What would you do if you won the million dollars?

I'd buy a better home in a bigger, fancier suburb, and finish paying off my financial debts to my wife and my company.

A/N: Have any of you readers noticed some of the satirical references to real life pop culture and other things throughout the story? This was also done on Total Drama Online with the canon contestant bios. I'll be doing more of it as I continue this fanfic.

Stay tuned for Part 2, soon!