Finally starting this, which I was asked about repeatedly when writing Bonding (plain ol' Valcup over there).

Notes before we start - I have never written femslash in my life, it's all cliche porn-type stuff that is awfully unrealistic, but I felt like a challenge. But it may be straight up terrible.

(as an aside if anyone knows of a f/f fic that isn't bad porn written by straight guys with no concept of how sex works, pls recommend)

(I asked a real life lesbian for tips on what was what, and we spent much time laughing hysterically at badly written femslash fics in the process.)

This fic will (unsurprisingly) contain scenes of a sexual nature, including incest between mother and son, F/M/F threesome and... well, you get the idea.

-HTTYD-

Astrid didn't understand what was going on at first. She didn't begrudge Hiccup spending time with his mom - they had barely even just met, and both lost Stoick. It would take time to adjust. Like a dragon, Valka was tactile and frequently touched Hiccup; a brush against his cheek or hand, fingers in his hair, a hand on his shoulder or chin or occasionally chest. Hiccup was much the same, used to the playful affection of the dragons they both seemed born to emulate.

That was fine.

What wasn't quite so fine was what happened at night. After losing so much, nobody questioned her sleeping in Hiccup's home. Their chief needed his girl. Hiccup had nightmares, Astrid knew that. He had watched his best friend kill his father, Astrid would be surprised if he didn't get the odd bad dream. At first, she even felt guilty when hearing him moan weakly.

"Mom..."

Her mind assumed, at first, that he was having nightmares of losing her too. Hiccup tended to sleep fairly immobile, but after a few nights of hearing him call out for his mother in his sleep, Hiccup started to reach out to Astrid, clutch her tight enough to wake her sometimes. Astrid didn't stop him. She loved him, and he needed comfort in a most vulnerable time. Of course she would offer that.

That too, was fine.

When it stopped being fine was when Hiccup's 'searching for affection during nightmares' became 'oh my Thor he's got an erection and he's calling out for his mother'. Astrid tried to brush it off at first. Maybe it was a mix of him wanting sex and struggling to reconnect with his mom, but the two weren't intertwined. Maybe it was just some temporary reaction to having her back in his life. It wasn't exactly a common thing for your mom to reappear after twenty years.

All the same... Astrid began to look at the way the two interacted more closely. Sometimes Valka would kiss Hiccup's cheek, and she wondered if it was perhaps a little too close to his mouth but maybe she was being paranoid. Hiccup didn't look like he was sharing in some sordid secret there. In fact, he looked sad whenever he thought Valka wasn't looking. Astrid couldn't take seeing that, resolving to come up with a subtle, soft way to talk to him about it.

Subtle and soft, however, were not Astrid's strong points. So while she was trying to think how to ask her fiance about his dreams and his mom, Hiccup was becoming withdrawn. He stopped cuddling her at night. Hell, he almost stopped sleeping altogether. Astrid could see the dark circles under his eyes, feel the weight coming off his already slender frame when they were in bed together.

Sometimes, sex was the only reassurance she had Hiccup still wanted her, that he wasn't losing desire for her. That was about the only place their relationship hadn't changed at all - Hiccup was still sweet and tender, responsive and fair. Always making sure Astrid came at least twice as often as he did. Reassured her constantly he still wanted her.

Sometimes though, in her darkest moments alone, Astrid wondered if he were trying to convince himself as much as her.

Things came to a head some six months after 'the battle', when the ice was gone and life was easier. When Hiccup spent hours at a time away from her chiefing and saddle building and bonding with all the dragons Valka had been followed by. Their sanctuary home had been destroyed in the battle, and there was no friendly Bewilderbeast to fix it.

"Mom... mom..."

Astrid woke to Hiccup at it again, despite all her efforts to ignore it. He pressed his erection into her, which normally ended after a couple of minutes or a subtle shove when she was too tired to deal with it. She didn't disturb him, mostly because she was happy he was finally sleeping again. This time the push was more insistent and under any other circumstance Astrid would probably find it arousing. That was difficult when he was calling out for his mother though.

This time was different, in that he kept going all the way until he came, wet and hot and sticky against her thigh even through their sleep clothes. Now she had to get up and change, and get him up and into clean shorts too else he would only ruin her clean shift.

How did one wake their fiance up after witnessing them have a sexual dream about their mother?

"Oi! Wake up!"

Astrid punched the top of his arm when Hiccup failed to respond to her more gentle shoves. Hiccup jerked awake, that soft smile he had when he came clearing to confusion, then what Astrid could only describe as shame. She had a suspicion he remembered the dream.

"Did I...?"

"Wet dream. Now get up and get changed, we'll talk in the morning."

"Did I uh... say anything?"

"Hiccup. In the morning. I'm too tired for this."

He fell silent, eyes downcast as he put his leg back on, moved to get clean shorts while Astrid changed into her fresh shift. He laid down awkwardly on his back, but Astrid was too used to his warmth next to her and yanked him by the arm to hold her again. It might partially have been to test if he was repulsed to touch her, but Hiccup cuddled her with a happy sigh as he fell back to sleep.

Astrid didn't find slumber so easily, and she woke with the thoughts of Hiccup's dream still clear in her mind. At least she hadn't forgotten. He blinked and rubbed sleep from his eyes, smiled at her in his usual way and sat up to look for his leg.

"Are you sleeping with your mother?"

Ah, the soft subtle approach went out of the window then. Astrid watched Hiccup panic, but his denial was genuine.

"No! What kind of question is that?"

Astrid felt her mouth twist in thought.

"Do you want to?"

Hiccup hesitated just a little too long for her liking. If someone had asked Astrid such a question, she probably would have felt ill. Would have answered so violently and at such speed that nobody could dispute the truth of her answer.

Hiccup blinked. Swallowed heavily. Took in a deep breath.

"No."

"Well, that was a lie."

Hiccup turned away, shame writ across his face before it left her view.

"It's not... It's... I don't know. I can't understand it, can't explain it. I can't even excuse it. I'm sorry."

Hiccup curled up in a ball there at the edge of the bed, hugging his knees to his chest and babbling through rapidly building tears, narrow shoulders shaking with sobs. Astrid forced herself not to lash out, both because Hiccup was so obviously distressed and because it was too damn early to be angry.

Instead, she reached out to touch him. Hiccup jerked away from her touch, tumbling clean off the bed and the resultant thud shook the whole building. Hiccup didn't even seem to notice he was bleeding where he fell, resuming sobbing like a frightened little boy.

In a sense, he was. Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third may be a hero, a chief and a dragon trainer... but he gained his mother and lost his father in the space of a heartbeat really.

Astrid sighed, hoped Valka didn't come running into the room after hearing him land heavily - she was the last person Astrid needed to see right now - and slid down next to Hiccup. He tried to recoil when she touched him, but Astrid persevered with soft fingers along his back, kept her tone gentle.

"I'm not mad. But this is a conversation we really need to have."

Hiccup's sobs became tears and chokes, then just tears and some hiccuping before he seemed to get a grip. He notably assessed his injuries, grimacing as he pushed himself into a seated position and swiped at his messy face.

"Why? Isn't the Viking way ignore it until it goes away?"

"Maybe, but I'm kinda bored of you humping me in your sleep while dreaming of her. So... we'll resolve it somehow."

Hiccup finally began to look a little nauseous, horrified with himself.

"I..."

"You are going to go clean yourself up, then after breakfast we'll talk. This isn't something I want to discuss on an empty stomach."

Hiccup didn't dare argue, attaching his leg and limping over to the bathroom. She heard him splash in the wash bucket, then root around for the balm and cloth bandages to clean up his bleeding arm. He came out still downcast, looking like a man condemned as Astrid took her turn in the bathroom while he dressed and creaked down the stairs to start breakfast.

Astrid wondered if Valka had spent the night with the dragons, or in her old room downstairs. Hiccup would be so obviously upset she would want to know why, and Hiccup would either react badly or blurt out some confusing feelings, the two woild agree and both take off with their dragons and never be seen again. Astrid strained her hearing... no dragon flapping past the roof. Good.

As it turned out, Valka hadn't spent the night. She did appear during breakfast, with wide green eyes and wind-burned cheeks and now she was looking, Astrid saw a loaded glance pass between Hiccup and Valka. Hiccup always left a plate of whatever meal they were having out if his mother wasn't there when it started, because he could easily relate to how the woman lost track of time spending many hours with the dragons. Especially the ones Drago had enslaved, some needing careful, slow work to get back to their normal selves.

Today was no different, the woman sliding into her usual spot at the table to eat her serving of breakfast. Astrid could hear Cloudjumper outside, chattering away to Stormfly and Toothless. Valka could, even with her rusty people skills, quite clearly detect there was tension in the air that morning between Hiccup and Astrid. Maybe the fact neither of them were really touching their food was a giveaway.

"Mom, could you drop by the forge and let Gobber know I'm gonna be a little late?"

"Of course Hiccup. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, just... need some time to sort something out."

His voice carried a great deal of something between sadness and guilt, naturally incurring an attempt at comfort in the form of a mothers hug. Hiccup responded, but Astrid could see - and Valka could feel - the stiffness in his shoulders, the way he wouldn't meet anyone's eyes. Valka stroked a hand over Hiccup's face, kissed his forehead and waved shortly at Astrid before she left.

The awkwardness didn't leave with her. Hiccup hovered, obviously waiting for Astrid to initiate the conversation or gut him like a hefty tuna.

"Come sit?"

Hiccup moved stiffly, lowering himself onto the seat next to Astrid like a condemned man. He wouldn't look at her.

"So..."

"Talk to me Hiccup. Explain to me what's going through that head of yours."

He sighed, drawing in a deep breath and drumming his fingers on the tops of his thighs.

"I... it's not like I don't know how messed up I am."

"I don't think you're messed up."

Hiccup finally looked at her, dumbfounded. Admittedly, even Astrid was surprised by how much she meant it.

"How?"

"Because... she's just like you. If she wasn't your mom she would probably be your dream woman-"

"No. That's you. It's always been you Astrid. This is just... a thing I need to work through."

Her heart fluttered at his earnest expression, but she didn't have it in her to agree with him.

"It's not just you though."

His brow creased, confused.

"How do you mean?"

"I mean... that woman feels the exact same way about you. I can see it."

"Don't be ridiculous. Mom is... well, she loved dad. I'm not dad."

"And she's not me. So either you're saying it can't be true because you don't love me anymore, or you don't want it to be true because you're scared what that will mean."

Hiccup fell silent, chewing on her words and still twitching anxiously. Honestly, Astrid had expected this conversation to go with more... conviction. Anger. Some raised voices at least. But... it was almost resigned. Astrid was, internally and genuinely, terrified. She had wanted to ignore it, because she didn't want to lose Hiccup. She loved him.

"Maybe I am scared. But... I don't want to lose you. I... I don't want her more than you. That's not what this is, this isn't about being bored of you or wanting something else. I don't even think it's about sex... I think I... I think I just want to be close to her, to make up for lost time and that got jumbled somewhere along the way. I know it's messed up."

He looked infinitely lighter for getting it off his chest, but there was still a hefty weight hanging between them. When Astrid didn't answer for several minutes, silence broken only by crackling fire, Hiccup stood up and grabbed his chief's cloak, voice thick with what Astrid knew were unshed tears.

"I love you. And I... I'm sorry."

Before she could find the words to answer him, Hiccup was gone.

Astrid punched a wall in her frustration, disrupting the nap of a Terrible Terror who was in one of the little eddy's around the beams.

"Sorry."

The yellow dragon huffed, shuffling out and taking off out of the door where Hiccup hadn't closed it properly. Astrid debated going after him, but there was no way they could talk privately at the forge. It would have to wait. Maybe she ought to burn off some of her anxiety and irritation first, rather than let it fester away until she next saw Hiccup.

Grabbing her axe, Astrid leapt on her dragons back and took off for the forest. Berk could always use more wood, right?

Well, hopefully, as Astrid took down half a dozen trees and had Stormfly help her move the wood where it could be collected. Her Nadder squawked, ruffling her scales as another dragon hawked back, the unmistakable shape of an orange Stormcutter landing in the freshly made clearing, courtesy of Astrid and her axe.

Valka wasn't really someone Astrid wanted to talk to right now.

"Astrid, may I speak with you?"

"No law against it is there?"

She turned away, throwing her axe skillfully into the bark of a sturdy tree.

"I... Hiccup came to talk to me."

"About what?"

She had a pretty damn good idea what, but if she were wrong it wouldn't help the awkwardness any.

"Well, I have a feeling you know. I... it was never my wish to come between you and Hiccup."

"I know. And it was never Hiccup's intention to hurt me, but... it's not the road to Valhalla that's paved with good intentions."

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Valka wince. A vindictive part of Astrid enjoyed that, even as her heart protested the prospect of hurting someone. Nobody would choose what was happening here.

"I came to say... I'll go. Berk managed just fine without me for twenty years, it can do so without me again."

"Don't you dare."

Astrid finally looked at her properly, thrown for a second. It was so hard to be mad at Valka when she looked so much like Hiccup. They had the same furrow between their eyebrows when scared, the wide green eyes that hurt to see so sad, the thin mouth turning at the corners in a pained grimace.

"Excuse me?"

"You promised Hiccup you would stay, you don't get to use me as an excuse to leave."

"I... I don't want to leave, but I can't just disrupt my son's life, his future marriage. It makes far more sense to simply remove myself from the picture."

"If you want to leave, I can't stop you. But Hiccup will never forgive you, and you know what? Neither will I."

Not waiting for an answer, Astrid grabbed her axe from the tree and took off on Stormfly, leaving Valka standing in that clearing.

She had some thinking to do.

Hiccup came home still sad and strained, but he returned Astrid's hesitant smile and let his lover take him up to bed.

Astrid needed to know he still wanted her. Hiccup didn't disappoint, caressing her skin with love and reverence that she doubted could be faked, peppered her face with kisses and he made love to her slowly, carefully and never took his eyes off of hers.

She burrowed into his chest, feeling him stroke her sweaty hair with smile-stained fingers.

"I love you."

"I know you do babe."

She felt Hiccup smile against her hair, running a hand down his chest littered with an array of scars from playing with dragons.

"I've been thinking."

"Should I be running for my life?"

"No. I... I think whatever it is between you and her... it should happen."

Hiccup froze, whole body tensing.

"What? Why?"

"Because otherwise, she's going to leave so as not to come between us. And I can't have that on my conscience."

If anybody had asked Astrid once, could she share the man she loved with another, let alone his own mother, Astrid would have punched them in the face and fed them to a dragon on principle.

But that was before she fell in love.

Hiccup was hurting. Valka was hurting. Astrid had the power to change that, to make the man she loved happier.

That's what people did for love.

That wasn't their last talk on the matter, but Astrid found it didn't actually hurt as much as she expected it to, that first time she walked in to find Hiccup sharing a soft, intimate kiss with his mother. Valka didn't even look to mind when Hiccup stood, walking over and kissing Astrid like it waa any other day. She could taste hints of sage on his lips, something she knew came from Valka - she chewed the sweet leaves often.

It wasn't perfect, but... Hiccup looked so much happier, and nothing about him suggested it would change the way he felt about Astrid. And that night, when it was just her and Hiccup in his bed, Astrid couldn't stop herself smiling when Hiccup brushed a kiss along her jaw.

"You two might want to be more careful. Anybody could walk in."

"We're kind of limited... neither of us wants to rush things and I didn't know how you would feel about. You know. More than kissing."

That was oddly thoughtful, Astrid mused. Was there an etiquette to these things? Probably. Did she plan to follow such things?

Absolutely not.

"You have to be honest with me. Don't be hiding things to spare my feelings... it doesn't work and it pisses me off."

"Uh. Ok. Does that include stuff like when we go flying?"

"So long as flying isn't code for something else."

Hiccup chuckled, nuzzling at her neck

"I don't think we're there yet. I'm adjusting and I think mom's scared to let anything happen in case you change your mind."

"I won't. I mean, I would love to but it wouldn't be fair."

"And this is fair on you?"

"The difference is... I would be stopping you out of jealousy. I let this happen out of love. You weren't happy, and now you are."

"Are you?"

Astrid counted his heartbeats beneath her ear as she formulated her answer. One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

"I'll get there."

-HTTYD-

I kept saying I was going to write all this and upload the whole thing at once, but this first chapter took me so long to write and now I want to upload it immediately...

From next chapter onwards expect smut. Hiccstrid, Valcup, Valstrid... what would all three be? Valcupstrid? Hicckastrid?

Anyway. Yeah. Smut. Possibly terrible because I haven't ever written girl girl.

Don't forget to review and remind me that I'm not just throwing smut into the void for nobody to enjoy.