Lex squirmed in his seat uncomfortably. He hated just sitting here like an
idiot while everyone else was reading the court files, trying to get some
better ideas on a new court system. He had been staring at the same sheet
of paper for the last 15 minutes, hoping nobody would notice. When Pride
asked him to come along he had no idea they were going to be reading stuff.
He shut his eyes for a few seconds and opened them again to no avail. He had never been able to read, the letters got all jumbled up and the fact that English was his second language didn't help...not that he'd ever admit to either reasons.
"Lex, found anything yet?" Selene called from across the room. Lex Glanced up sharply and shook his head before picking up a different piece of paper. He had a go at reading the title at the top of the page but gave up halfway through. The only way he could read at all was if he read it out loud, sounding out the syllables, and there was no chance in hell he'd do that in front of Pride, Selene and Ellie. God, even Cloe was better at it than he was. Dal and Tai-san were the only ones who knew about his difficulties. She had given him some basic lessons...but that was before she was kidnapped. He needed a drink. Lex stood up and stretched before heading for the door.
"Lex? Where are you going? We need your help here," Pride said angrily. Lex shrugged,
"I'm sheriff okay? I catch the bad guys, you lock 'em up. This is not my problem, I need to go do some patrols." He lied before striding out of the room before Pride could argue. He picked his duster up on the way out and pulled it on when he ventured into the cold night air. He hadn't realized it was so late. He tried to dispel thoughts of Tai-san but it was useless, he missed her so much it hurt to breathe. He hadn't even looked at another woman in months, even when that Techno bitch Siva came onto him, and he was so lonely. He sighed as he turned into an ally and ducked into the small bar. He sat in his usual spot in the corner and leaned back in the chair, ignoring the drunken laughter around him.
"The usual Lex?" Lace, the pretty waitress asked.
"Yeah thanks." Lex said absently, setting his hat down and the table and pinching the bridge of his nose. He regarded that hat with hatred. Why did he even wear that stupid thing? It looked like it came out a John Wayne movie. Lex scowled at it...*I wear it because I need to feel like I'm someone. Helps me deal with the fact that I'm a nobody* he thought bitterly to himself. Lace interrupted his thoughts by placing a tumbler of whiskey in front of him.
"Can I sit for a second?" She asked motioning to the chair opposite. Lex nodded, slightly surprised that anyone would voluntarily spend time with him. Lace sat and folded her hands on the table, staring into his eyes. He looked away, eye-contact was never something he liked or was used to.
"There's been some rumors going round and I just wanted to see ifthey were true.." She said. Lex gave a tired chuckle and raised his eyebrows.
"Go ahead."
"Well..." She said, leaning in closer to talk to Lex, "They've been saying that you've got some Techno connections....and that you were going out with one of Ram's flunkies.." She said, watching his face. If she was expecting some juicy gossip, she was going to be sorely disappointed. Lex's face went red with fury and he stood up, knocking over his chair.
"Who told you that!!" He shouted. Everyone in the place went quiet and Lace's delicate eyebrows flew up. "I just heard some people talking and me and the girls sort of had a bet.." The look that Lex shot her would make birds drop dead mid-flight. She flinched and shuffled back in her seat.
"Oh, and here I was thinking you might actually be concerned or something. Serves me right huh? Well here's your answer. I have.had a wife who I love and I hate the Technos. I hope you won your fucking bet." He hissed before downing his drink and storming out of the place. He didn't know where he was going, as long as it was far away from here...from the city...from everything.
His walk broke into a run and soon he found himself breathless and standing outside one of the old graveyards. He grimaced and wondered how he'd gotten here, but walked in anyway. He didn't care if the Demon Dogs or any other tribe who owned the place caught him. He almost wished they would. Maybe then the pain inside him would go away. It had always been there, ever since the first time his father had beaten him and his mother up...but
Tai-san had made it more bearable. Now he had lost her, it all seemed so hopeless. He found himself on auto-pilot and was walking to the familiar grave plot and kneeled in front of it, running his fingers against the cool marble.
~Here lays Ji-sun Galanger, loving wife and mother~
~1965-1992~
"Hi Uma.." He whispered. He had never called her 'mom', always Uma. Even though it made his father mad. His dad had always hated the fact that he spoke Korean before he spoke English, and Lex used to get in trouble by speaking it in front of him. He shivered, though not from the cold.
His mother had gotten quite a few beatings thanks to him when he was younger. He fought the tears behind his eyes and swallowed hard, willing them to go away. He closed his eyes and sat back on his haunches, trying to conjure up her face. She had died when he was ten, and it was hard to picture her now. His dad had rid the house of any pictures, so all Lex had was his memory...which was not the best thing to rely on.He twitched at the sound of rustling in the bushes and sprang to his feet, looking about him.
"Lex? What are you doing out here?" Dee asked, emerging from the bushes. Lex took a deep breath and put his hand over his pounding heart.
"God Dee, jump out at a guy at night in a grave-yard why don't you!" He half shouted. She smiled and punched his shoulder playfully.
"It's my hobby. Anyway Lex, answer my question. What are you doing out here?" She asked, putting a hand on her hip. Lex paused, wondering what to say. He had the sudden urge to tell Dee everything...she was his mate, maybe she'd understand and try and help him...maybe after he talked to her he might feel better....but maybe he wouldn't. Maybe she'd do the same thing as everyone else did and turn away. That was why he never told Tai- san the truth about the scars all over his body, because he was afraid that if he did, she might turn away, disgusted or afraid even.
"I was just bored so I went for a patrol, y'know, see if I could find any Demon Mutts who were breaking the law." He replied, assuming the mask he was so accustomed to wearing. Dee laughed and nodded before walking in the direction of a nicer part of the city,
"Wanna get a drink partner?" She said, holding the black gate to the graveyard open for Lex. He shook his head,
"Nah, I'm heading back to the mall," He said.
"Alright, I'll be at the Drain if you decide to come later," Lex nodded and turned away, heading back towards the mall. When he got to his room, he knew something wasn't right...something was off. He threw his coat and hat onto his bad and surveyed the messy room. His eyes fell on Tai-san's picture and he couldn't look away. He walked towards it and picked it up, staring intently at her smiling face...wishing she would come out of the photograph and everything could be okay. But it wouldn't happen, and nothing would be alright.
He set the picture back down and clenched his jaw in fury when he noticed her crystal was gone. He knocked things over around his room, searching madly for it, before storming out into the mall.
"WHERE IS IT!! WHERE IS IT YOU LITTLE RATS!!" He shouted, not caring who heard. It was those kids, they had already taken her crystal once and Selene had promised it wouldn't happen again. But it did. It did and they weren't going to get away with it. He searched around the mall, banging things and knocking things over as he went.
"Lex?" A voice asked. It was Selene's. They must have finished in the offices; he hadn't realized he'd been out so long.
"THEY TOOK IT AGAIN SEL, I DONT CARE IF THEY ARE KIDS, NOBODY STEALS STUFF FROM LEX...ESPECIALLY NOT TAI-SAN'S THINGS!!!" He bellowed, following the sounds of nervous giggling. He flung open a cupboard door and found the two little culprits. Pulling them out by the back of their shirts, he held both of them so that they could face him. "Now I am going to ask you this once and if I don't get an answer, I'll throw you in the trash like the little pieces of scum you are.." He hissed, regarding them both and ignoring the protests emitting from Selene. "Where...is...Tai- san's...crystal." He said slowly. Unsurprisingly, he didn't get an answer.
The two hadn't spoken since they arrived and at first, Lex secretly felt sorry for them. Now he was so angry, he was close to acting on his threat and really throw them in the dumpster outside.
"Lex! What would Tai-san think if she saw you!" Selene called out. Lex froze...what would she think? She'd probably be disgusted at his lack of tolerance. He dropped the kids and ran back to his room, hoping Selene had the sense to keep away. He slammed his door shut and numbly began to clear up the mess he'd created earlier. As he put things back, something caught his eye and he reached for the small glass vial. It contained something that was worth more to him in that moment than anything else in his whole life.
It was Tai-san's favourite perfume.
He picked it up and popped the cap cautiously, almost afraid that he would spill it or something. He inhaled the scent and felt unshed tears gather in his eyes as he slid down to the floor. It was almost as if she were standing near him, just beyond his reach. He could smell her beautiful, mystical scent, but he couldn't see or hear her...it was torture. He finally let tears fall from his eyes, something he hadn't done since Zandra and his unborn child were killed.
He couldn't hold back any longer and started sobbing, bringing his knees up to his chest and burying his face in his hands, he took the position he had so often sat in as a child. He didn't even notice when Selene stood in his open doorway, mouth hanging open in shock. She was half in total shock and half fighting the strong urge to comfort him.
*He is a pig* she told herself. *He wouldn't do the same for you...or would he?*. She had only wanted to return Tai-san's crystal that she'd found and apologize for what she said earlier, not to see Lex having some sort of emotional breakdown. She had to help! She'd feel guilty if she didn't do something. "Lex?" she asked quietly, knocking on the doorframe. Lex continued to sob and she cautiously entered his room and set the crystal on the table. It made a loud clatter; Lex jumped and glanced up sharply. When he noticed Selene, he wiped his tears away roughly with the back of his hand.
"Don't you knock!" He said, his voice raspy. Selene took a step back,
"I'm sorry, I did knock but you didn't hear me. I wanted to return this, the girl gave it to me when you left...and I wanted to say I'm sorry I used Tai-san to get to you like that. Lex, do you want to talk about it?"
"About what?" Lex snapped, trying to make Selene get mad and go away. She had to leave now or he might start crying again.
"About why you are so upset. We're all here for you if you need us, and I don't have anything I have to do right now. So, if you just talk about it, you'll feel better." She said, taking a step towards him. Lex nodded shortly, wondering what to say. She looked so concerned.like she really cared. Wait, cared? Why should she? Nobody cared about him and he was used to that. No, he couldn't trust her, he couldn't face the pain of rejection again.
"Im fine, not all of us throw up to make ourselves feel better you know." He spat, folding his arms across his chest. The look on Selene's face nearly made say sorry...nearly. But he couldn't, she had to leave him alone, he had to distance himself or he would get hurt like he always did.
"Fine Lex, be that way." She hissed before striding out of the room and slamming the door behind her. Lex winced and slid back down to lean against his bed. He stretched up and picked up Tai-san's crystal from the table that Selene had left it on and turned it over in his fingers. Rainbows were created on the floor below and he craned his neck around to discover his battery-powered lamp was switched on. Why was it on? He didn't remember turning it on when he got in and those little brats would know how to work it. Everything was so much easier in the old days, flip a switch and voila, light. Not like now when you had to trade an arm and a leg for batteries and it took a few minutes to reconnect a circuit just to get a weak light that would only last a few hours before it ran out. Nothing was simple anymore.
He sighed and placed the crystal back in it's place before pulling off his shirt and climbing gingerly into his bed. He hated sleeping when he was sober, always brought nightmares and memories. Mostly, they were of his mother. Some memories were good, some bad.
Uma making breakfast and laughing, uma telling him to go back to bed when he was six and he wanted to know why she was crying, uma kissing the bruises on his face after his dad got mad at him...Uma's body lying in a funny position at the bottom of the stairs, a curtain of her long black hair hiding her bloody face from view.
He sat up, sweat running down his forehead. His hands shook violently as he reached under his pillow and pulled out his trusty sleeping pills, popping two in his mouth. There was no need for water, he was used to taking pills by themselves. He then lay back down, waiting for the 'magic' pills to do their duty. He hated waiting, because waiting meant he's have to face the one thing that he hated more than anything...himself. His brain taunted him, telling him that he was a jinx, that everyone he got close to left him or got hurt themselves. And that was when he came to a terrifying realization.
He was alone.
TO BE CONTINUED? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you think then? PLEASE review cuz if i dont get any i wont bother Continuing!! Thanks
Leith
He shut his eyes for a few seconds and opened them again to no avail. He had never been able to read, the letters got all jumbled up and the fact that English was his second language didn't help...not that he'd ever admit to either reasons.
"Lex, found anything yet?" Selene called from across the room. Lex Glanced up sharply and shook his head before picking up a different piece of paper. He had a go at reading the title at the top of the page but gave up halfway through. The only way he could read at all was if he read it out loud, sounding out the syllables, and there was no chance in hell he'd do that in front of Pride, Selene and Ellie. God, even Cloe was better at it than he was. Dal and Tai-san were the only ones who knew about his difficulties. She had given him some basic lessons...but that was before she was kidnapped. He needed a drink. Lex stood up and stretched before heading for the door.
"Lex? Where are you going? We need your help here," Pride said angrily. Lex shrugged,
"I'm sheriff okay? I catch the bad guys, you lock 'em up. This is not my problem, I need to go do some patrols." He lied before striding out of the room before Pride could argue. He picked his duster up on the way out and pulled it on when he ventured into the cold night air. He hadn't realized it was so late. He tried to dispel thoughts of Tai-san but it was useless, he missed her so much it hurt to breathe. He hadn't even looked at another woman in months, even when that Techno bitch Siva came onto him, and he was so lonely. He sighed as he turned into an ally and ducked into the small bar. He sat in his usual spot in the corner and leaned back in the chair, ignoring the drunken laughter around him.
"The usual Lex?" Lace, the pretty waitress asked.
"Yeah thanks." Lex said absently, setting his hat down and the table and pinching the bridge of his nose. He regarded that hat with hatred. Why did he even wear that stupid thing? It looked like it came out a John Wayne movie. Lex scowled at it...*I wear it because I need to feel like I'm someone. Helps me deal with the fact that I'm a nobody* he thought bitterly to himself. Lace interrupted his thoughts by placing a tumbler of whiskey in front of him.
"Can I sit for a second?" She asked motioning to the chair opposite. Lex nodded, slightly surprised that anyone would voluntarily spend time with him. Lace sat and folded her hands on the table, staring into his eyes. He looked away, eye-contact was never something he liked or was used to.
"There's been some rumors going round and I just wanted to see ifthey were true.." She said. Lex gave a tired chuckle and raised his eyebrows.
"Go ahead."
"Well..." She said, leaning in closer to talk to Lex, "They've been saying that you've got some Techno connections....and that you were going out with one of Ram's flunkies.." She said, watching his face. If she was expecting some juicy gossip, she was going to be sorely disappointed. Lex's face went red with fury and he stood up, knocking over his chair.
"Who told you that!!" He shouted. Everyone in the place went quiet and Lace's delicate eyebrows flew up. "I just heard some people talking and me and the girls sort of had a bet.." The look that Lex shot her would make birds drop dead mid-flight. She flinched and shuffled back in her seat.
"Oh, and here I was thinking you might actually be concerned or something. Serves me right huh? Well here's your answer. I have.had a wife who I love and I hate the Technos. I hope you won your fucking bet." He hissed before downing his drink and storming out of the place. He didn't know where he was going, as long as it was far away from here...from the city...from everything.
His walk broke into a run and soon he found himself breathless and standing outside one of the old graveyards. He grimaced and wondered how he'd gotten here, but walked in anyway. He didn't care if the Demon Dogs or any other tribe who owned the place caught him. He almost wished they would. Maybe then the pain inside him would go away. It had always been there, ever since the first time his father had beaten him and his mother up...but
Tai-san had made it more bearable. Now he had lost her, it all seemed so hopeless. He found himself on auto-pilot and was walking to the familiar grave plot and kneeled in front of it, running his fingers against the cool marble.
~Here lays Ji-sun Galanger, loving wife and mother~
~1965-1992~
"Hi Uma.." He whispered. He had never called her 'mom', always Uma. Even though it made his father mad. His dad had always hated the fact that he spoke Korean before he spoke English, and Lex used to get in trouble by speaking it in front of him. He shivered, though not from the cold.
His mother had gotten quite a few beatings thanks to him when he was younger. He fought the tears behind his eyes and swallowed hard, willing them to go away. He closed his eyes and sat back on his haunches, trying to conjure up her face. She had died when he was ten, and it was hard to picture her now. His dad had rid the house of any pictures, so all Lex had was his memory...which was not the best thing to rely on.He twitched at the sound of rustling in the bushes and sprang to his feet, looking about him.
"Lex? What are you doing out here?" Dee asked, emerging from the bushes. Lex took a deep breath and put his hand over his pounding heart.
"God Dee, jump out at a guy at night in a grave-yard why don't you!" He half shouted. She smiled and punched his shoulder playfully.
"It's my hobby. Anyway Lex, answer my question. What are you doing out here?" She asked, putting a hand on her hip. Lex paused, wondering what to say. He had the sudden urge to tell Dee everything...she was his mate, maybe she'd understand and try and help him...maybe after he talked to her he might feel better....but maybe he wouldn't. Maybe she'd do the same thing as everyone else did and turn away. That was why he never told Tai- san the truth about the scars all over his body, because he was afraid that if he did, she might turn away, disgusted or afraid even.
"I was just bored so I went for a patrol, y'know, see if I could find any Demon Mutts who were breaking the law." He replied, assuming the mask he was so accustomed to wearing. Dee laughed and nodded before walking in the direction of a nicer part of the city,
"Wanna get a drink partner?" She said, holding the black gate to the graveyard open for Lex. He shook his head,
"Nah, I'm heading back to the mall," He said.
"Alright, I'll be at the Drain if you decide to come later," Lex nodded and turned away, heading back towards the mall. When he got to his room, he knew something wasn't right...something was off. He threw his coat and hat onto his bad and surveyed the messy room. His eyes fell on Tai-san's picture and he couldn't look away. He walked towards it and picked it up, staring intently at her smiling face...wishing she would come out of the photograph and everything could be okay. But it wouldn't happen, and nothing would be alright.
He set the picture back down and clenched his jaw in fury when he noticed her crystal was gone. He knocked things over around his room, searching madly for it, before storming out into the mall.
"WHERE IS IT!! WHERE IS IT YOU LITTLE RATS!!" He shouted, not caring who heard. It was those kids, they had already taken her crystal once and Selene had promised it wouldn't happen again. But it did. It did and they weren't going to get away with it. He searched around the mall, banging things and knocking things over as he went.
"Lex?" A voice asked. It was Selene's. They must have finished in the offices; he hadn't realized he'd been out so long.
"THEY TOOK IT AGAIN SEL, I DONT CARE IF THEY ARE KIDS, NOBODY STEALS STUFF FROM LEX...ESPECIALLY NOT TAI-SAN'S THINGS!!!" He bellowed, following the sounds of nervous giggling. He flung open a cupboard door and found the two little culprits. Pulling them out by the back of their shirts, he held both of them so that they could face him. "Now I am going to ask you this once and if I don't get an answer, I'll throw you in the trash like the little pieces of scum you are.." He hissed, regarding them both and ignoring the protests emitting from Selene. "Where...is...Tai- san's...crystal." He said slowly. Unsurprisingly, he didn't get an answer.
The two hadn't spoken since they arrived and at first, Lex secretly felt sorry for them. Now he was so angry, he was close to acting on his threat and really throw them in the dumpster outside.
"Lex! What would Tai-san think if she saw you!" Selene called out. Lex froze...what would she think? She'd probably be disgusted at his lack of tolerance. He dropped the kids and ran back to his room, hoping Selene had the sense to keep away. He slammed his door shut and numbly began to clear up the mess he'd created earlier. As he put things back, something caught his eye and he reached for the small glass vial. It contained something that was worth more to him in that moment than anything else in his whole life.
It was Tai-san's favourite perfume.
He picked it up and popped the cap cautiously, almost afraid that he would spill it or something. He inhaled the scent and felt unshed tears gather in his eyes as he slid down to the floor. It was almost as if she were standing near him, just beyond his reach. He could smell her beautiful, mystical scent, but he couldn't see or hear her...it was torture. He finally let tears fall from his eyes, something he hadn't done since Zandra and his unborn child were killed.
He couldn't hold back any longer and started sobbing, bringing his knees up to his chest and burying his face in his hands, he took the position he had so often sat in as a child. He didn't even notice when Selene stood in his open doorway, mouth hanging open in shock. She was half in total shock and half fighting the strong urge to comfort him.
*He is a pig* she told herself. *He wouldn't do the same for you...or would he?*. She had only wanted to return Tai-san's crystal that she'd found and apologize for what she said earlier, not to see Lex having some sort of emotional breakdown. She had to help! She'd feel guilty if she didn't do something. "Lex?" she asked quietly, knocking on the doorframe. Lex continued to sob and she cautiously entered his room and set the crystal on the table. It made a loud clatter; Lex jumped and glanced up sharply. When he noticed Selene, he wiped his tears away roughly with the back of his hand.
"Don't you knock!" He said, his voice raspy. Selene took a step back,
"I'm sorry, I did knock but you didn't hear me. I wanted to return this, the girl gave it to me when you left...and I wanted to say I'm sorry I used Tai-san to get to you like that. Lex, do you want to talk about it?"
"About what?" Lex snapped, trying to make Selene get mad and go away. She had to leave now or he might start crying again.
"About why you are so upset. We're all here for you if you need us, and I don't have anything I have to do right now. So, if you just talk about it, you'll feel better." She said, taking a step towards him. Lex nodded shortly, wondering what to say. She looked so concerned.like she really cared. Wait, cared? Why should she? Nobody cared about him and he was used to that. No, he couldn't trust her, he couldn't face the pain of rejection again.
"Im fine, not all of us throw up to make ourselves feel better you know." He spat, folding his arms across his chest. The look on Selene's face nearly made say sorry...nearly. But he couldn't, she had to leave him alone, he had to distance himself or he would get hurt like he always did.
"Fine Lex, be that way." She hissed before striding out of the room and slamming the door behind her. Lex winced and slid back down to lean against his bed. He stretched up and picked up Tai-san's crystal from the table that Selene had left it on and turned it over in his fingers. Rainbows were created on the floor below and he craned his neck around to discover his battery-powered lamp was switched on. Why was it on? He didn't remember turning it on when he got in and those little brats would know how to work it. Everything was so much easier in the old days, flip a switch and voila, light. Not like now when you had to trade an arm and a leg for batteries and it took a few minutes to reconnect a circuit just to get a weak light that would only last a few hours before it ran out. Nothing was simple anymore.
He sighed and placed the crystal back in it's place before pulling off his shirt and climbing gingerly into his bed. He hated sleeping when he was sober, always brought nightmares and memories. Mostly, they were of his mother. Some memories were good, some bad.
Uma making breakfast and laughing, uma telling him to go back to bed when he was six and he wanted to know why she was crying, uma kissing the bruises on his face after his dad got mad at him...Uma's body lying in a funny position at the bottom of the stairs, a curtain of her long black hair hiding her bloody face from view.
He sat up, sweat running down his forehead. His hands shook violently as he reached under his pillow and pulled out his trusty sleeping pills, popping two in his mouth. There was no need for water, he was used to taking pills by themselves. He then lay back down, waiting for the 'magic' pills to do their duty. He hated waiting, because waiting meant he's have to face the one thing that he hated more than anything...himself. His brain taunted him, telling him that he was a jinx, that everyone he got close to left him or got hurt themselves. And that was when he came to a terrifying realization.
He was alone.
TO BE CONTINUED? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What do you think then? PLEASE review cuz if i dont get any i wont bother Continuing!! Thanks
Leith