Disclaimers: Rurouni Kenshin© is created and owned by Nobuhiro Watsuki, Sony Entertainment and Shueisha Jump. This fanfiction is written for entertainment purposes only.
This story is in Kenshin's POV. Since our poor rurouni is always the one who's dense to a certain tanuki's feelings, why don't we turn the tables and allow Kaoru to be the one oblivious to Kenshin's feelings?
One Beat, One Heart
We've been best friends since our childhood days. I met you back then, when we were eight years old, in the large park filled with parents chattering and children playing. You were so cheerful, so happy, as you followed a fluttering butterfly. I was transfixed by your delight in such trivial matters, something as small as that beautiful insect. You bumped into me, and since then, we've been together through thick and thin.
But people grow and develop, just as we had. You're beautiful now, as like the butterfly that placed you in my life. Eyes of sapphire gems that I could stare into for the whole day and tresses of raven-black that I would like to idly play my hands on. I could smell your perfume of jasmine, and I am awed by your grace and compassion. I loved you ever since I could remember, and I love you still. Sorrowfully in my part, you were oblivious to my feelings.
"We're graduating, Kenshin," You say. "Can you believe it? Two weeks more and we're saying goodbye to school!" The sound of your tinkling laughter overwhelms me; the sparkling of your eyes catches me. Yes, two more weeks and then we would separate, without you knowing how I really feel inside, how I ache when I see you with your boyfriend and what I dream of from you.
"Yes, I can't believe it either," I utter, my gaze on yours. "It seems like eternity since we started our schooling. We passed kindergarden, elementary and high school. We're nearing the end of college…"
You lean back on your seat, looking me straight in the eye. There is something behind them and you hide it from me. I tilt my head to one side slightly, confused. What could possibly be the matter?
"Kenshin, I need to tell you something." You murmur softly.
"Kaoru, what is it? Did Enishi did something to you?" I ask, my fist clench at the thought of him hurting you.
You shake your head. "No, it's not that, but it must've slipped my mind. Enishi and I broke up already, two days ago." You say. "We didn't think long-distance relationships could hold us. Besides, I think we needed to separate anyway. There is nothing between us anymore. I didn't even mope around."
My heart jumps at your news. Broke up? Oh, what joy it is for me! Don't you know that brings me happiness? But I pause when your words sink in. Long-distance relationship?
"I'm leaving for London after our graduation," You explain, as if reading my mind. "Father is being transferred there by his company, and we'll be staying there for years." Your hands clasp mine, your eyes fixed on my shocked face. "I'll miss you, Kenshin. You're the best friend I could ever have."
Best friend…
"Kaoru…" I choke out. "Is that all you could ever give me?"
You blink in surprise. "What do you mean? You are my best friend, aren't you?" I can hear the hurt in your voice. "Or was it just for pity, because I'm not that popular in school?"
I shake my head vigorously. "No! It's not that! Kaoru, don't you see what I feel for you?" I ask. "Don't you see how deep I care for you?"
"I don't understand…"
Then I will make you understand what I'm saying. I took your hand and squeeze it tightly. "Don't you see? I love you since the start of high school. Can't you even sense it?"
I can see your face, your eyes wide with shock and stunned surprise. Your mouth opens but no sound came out. It seems like eternity that silence stretches between us, and at last, you speak. But not the words I long to hear.
"I don't know what I feel for you."
My heart shatters.
-*-*-*-*-*-
The day of our graduation seemed to stretch endlessly. I haven't seen your nor spoken with you since that day. I avoid you ever since, ignoring your calls on my phone and the calling of my name. I refuse to see you like this, heartbroken and wounded. When I am ready, I'll see you again, for one last time.
I hear the announcer call your name and I look up to the stage. You walk steadily and surely, taking the rolled paper into your hand and bowing respectfully at the audience. This would be the last day I will see you again, I remind myself. Maybe after this, I can go on. But is everything I will do risk the loss of our long friendship? Maybe, but I don't know for whose sake it is. Mine? Yours? I cannot answer.
I weave through the crowd, searching for you. I spot you with your parents, smiling happily at you. I gather my courage and walk directly towards you.
"Kaoru, congratulations," I offer, smiling forcefully.
"Dear, we'll be waiting for you in the car," Your mother says as she pulled your father away. We stand here quietly, uncomfortable.
"Kenshin…"
"I'm here to tell you I'm sorry about that day," I tell you. "I didn't mean to give it as a shock to you, but I guess it came out as an opportunity. I hope you'll be happy in London, Kaoru, and you'll finally find the man of your dreams there." Lifting my hand, I caress your cheek, my eyes soft. Yes, this would be our last. "Thank you for your friendship. I'll cherish it forever." I take away my hand. "Goodbye."
You did not even move when I turn away. I smile bitterly, the tears escaping from my eyes. So, this would be it then. Goodbye, Kamiya Kaoru.
I love you.
-*-*-*-*-*-
I walk slowly, my feet heavy as lead. I did nothing today but stay at a nearby coffee shop and drink many steaming cups. Maybe it's enough to wake me up from my dreadful life, enough so I can forget you. Today you leave for London and my chest tightens at the thought of you flying almost halfway around the world from here. I'm just too broken, too wounded to celebrate my graduation like our other classmates.
Three blocks more and I know I'm near my house. I live alone, since my parents agreed that I should learn to be independent. They live in Hokkaido, a cold place. I am thinking of going back there to make me go on with my life and accept that you are unable to return my feelings. The wind is biting tonight, and I shiver in my woolen coat. It is mid-autumn and soon winter will come and everything would be white.
I raise my head and finger the key to the door. Suddenly, I stop. If this is a dream, please don't let me wake up.
You are there, sitting on the porch and your shoulders shaking subtly. I go to you, my feet fast as I neared you and I call your name. You lift your face and I can see them streaked with tears with puffy eyes. Immediately you stand, a smile blossoming on your lips.
"Kenshin!"
We find ourselves in our own embrace, warming each other against the cold wind. I hug you like it was forever, my arms tight around you. You're here…
"Kaoru, you came here…" I whisper.
"I can't leave you," You say, giggling softly. "I realized that when I stepped out of the car to the airport. I was so devastated on what I've said to you that I came running with my things here, to your apartment. You were not here and I feared that you might not love me anymore—"
I shake my head. "I love you still, Kaoru." I smile gently, wiping away semi-dried paths in your cheeks. I pause, scanning your face. "You feel prettier when you cry."
You laugh lightly, resting your head on my shoulders. "Kenshin, you idiot. You really know how to compliment a girl." She whispered between giggles. "I missed you, you know. Those two weeks were lonely without you joking around."
Inwardly, I feel my pride glowing. And I thought she would just fling away what we have shared for all those years we've been friends.
"Honest?" I ask, pulling her away to watch her face.
You nod.
I smile devilishly.
"Then, take this!" My fingers were moving over her stomach and sides, tickling her.
I love the sound of your laugh. Kaoru, you don't know how much I missed you. Two weeks had been long. All I could vaguely remember was I sitting on my dark room, pillow wet with tears. Men do cry when the emotions gets rough, it's somewhat of a fact in life.
I think.
But that doesn't matter. All that really matters is that you're here to stay.
"Kenshin?" You inquire, sapphire eyes gleaming with silent amusement. "You okay?"
"Yes, everything's fine," I reply, my gaze against yours. "I love you." I whisper as I capture your mouth for a sweet kiss. I didn't need your answer; I could already feel it through your kiss. I could hear the soft beating of your heart against mine and I realized that the beat was in perfect sync.
The beating of our hearts are one.
Author's Notes: This idea just came to me when I was thinking about our upcoming JS Prom this March. I guess it made me think of senior year and what would it feel like when I finally go to the graduating year. Would it be about regretting about the past, about not telling what you really feel for a certain someone? I know some on my friends who think like that. (My best friend's crush graduated last year and she really like the guy.) When you think about it, seems kind-of nice to feel that way.
Okay, I'm getting really sentimental. So, read and review please! Push that little button there!
Oh, yeah. "Mirror of Two Faces" and "Night of the Vampires" are on hold until I finish my English thesis, my computer webpage project and my exams. Expect updates after March 14th!
