As I slowly left my office building heading towards my car, I sighed in relief glad to be done for today's work. It's mid-November, meaning the weather has gotten a lot colder. Then again, it was always beginning to get cold around the start of fall. Luckily I'm smart enough wear my favourite thick-grey sweater for this kind of weather.

I entered my car, roared it to life and drive back home. I live a few miles off from Downtown Vancouver in Canada. It's nothing really special, just an average middle-class home. I bought my house after graduating from University, and I managed to achieve my dream of becoming a Computer Programmer.

I got home after driving for about thirty minutes, and boy I'm glad to finally be back home. I'm still human, so I still get exhausted from work. I work extra hard at my job and sometimes try to work overtime shits. This one time my boss actually gave me a week-long vacation off from work because he said I was working 'over-over-overtime'. My job pays pretty well; I earn just enough to pay my bills, buy my food, and some other stuff I need, like video games. Just because I'm twenty-six years old doesn't mean I have to not like video games again.

Heading into my home, I enter my living room and sit in my favourite armchair. I'm glad to be back home, and already I feel lonely. There's only one thing I don't have that's making me feel this way.

A girlfriend.

Yes. I, Cody Anderson, still haven't gotten a girlfriend yet. I've been friend zoned for the past twenty-six years now.

No matter what I did, and how nice I am to a girl, any girl for that matter, they would always go for the stronger, hotter, and sportier dudes. They never go for a geek like me. I made so many attempts at getting myself a girlfriend. I tried acting as some womanizer and referred to myself as the "Codemeister" to sound cooler. Heck, I even tried being my normal self. But no matter what I did, I never got a girlfriend. I tried to get one in high school, during my time in Total Drama, and again when attending University.

You know what, perhaps I should probably get some rest. An evening walk could do me some benefits. There's a forest trail about a block away, and I usually walk along there to set my mind off of things. I grabbed my sweater before heading out again.

While walking along my usual path, my mind went back to my time on Total Drama. I never entered Total Drama to win myself fortune and glory. Though it would totally be cool to win anyway. I almost won World Tour, but only managed to rank at third place. Indeed, I was disappointed for losing when I was so close, but third place was still an achievement for a geek like me.

I'm getting off topic here. The main reason why I auditioned for Total Drama was so I could make friends, and to hopefully score myself a girl. My goal, however, was unsuccessful. Not only did all the girls I was interested in chosen somebody else over me, but I ended up making a big fool of myself on National television. I got mauled by a bear and was stalked by some creepy fangirl who wanted my underwear.

Gwen was probably the biggest example of my goal. I've been trying to get Gwen's attention during TDI for almost every episode. Even if she said that we were friends, she didn't really, well, acted like a friend.

It took just after Total Drama ended, that I actually come to realize what type of girl Gwen is. When I laid my eyes on her for the first time, I thought she looked super pretty and hot, hotter than any girl I ever saw before. I don't remember what it was about Gwen that got me to fall in love with her, but just looking at her got my heart and stomach to spin full circles. I complimented her in many ways I could, I tried to be the proper gentleman for her, and I gave her my full support. But she rejected me and only thought that I was just trying to get in her pants which creeped her out. I'll admit, I was acting pretty perverted towards her. I mean, I smelled her hair while she was writing in her diary at one point.

She only wants to talk with Trent and as much as I hated to realize that, Gwen preferred Trent over me. Despite that sad truth, I still willingly set her and Trent up together, because I wanted her to be happy. I was hoping she'd give me the benefits of doubt and become friends with me, but no, she still continued to avoid me. In fact, I bet she was glad that I left the island. When I got mauled by a bear, it gave her an excuse to vote me out, rather than Heather, who's been making Gwen's life a misery since the beginning. She voted someone out who was trying to benefit her life.

I never gave up in getting on her good side, even after the first season ended. I tried giving her comfort after that stunt she pulled on Trent getting him eliminated in season two. When Gwen got the boot later, fans, critics, and even some of the cast members starting calling Gwen 'New Heather'. I was so angry with how everyone began to treat her horribly then. I did whatever I can to make Gwen feel better, but whenever I made a move, she pushes me away. She wanted to get back into the graces with the more popular contestants for some reason. I never gave up on Gwen though and I still tried to get her to like me.

During the third season, I thought my luck would finally turn around. She wasn't dating Trent anymore so I thought I could try again. But no. Gwen went for Duncan. She went behind her new friend, Courtney's back, while Duncan was also dating her at the same time. I tried to not let it get to me, but at the end of the day, she never accepted my offer to be her boyfriend.

Looking back at everything that had happened then, I eventually realized that Gwen wasn't the dream girl I thought she was. She used my affections for her as a tactic to get more votes in order to win, she betrayed Courtney and stole her boyfriend, giving the fans and cast more ammo to call her the 'New Heather'. And she still tried to make herself out as the innocent one and everyone else, even myself, the guilties. She didn't even give a rat about me when I was being stalked and molested by the crazy fangirl.

I was officially done with Gwen after Total Drama.

Even till this moment, I still can't believe that I was an idiot for liking her. What did I even see in her, to begin with? Was I only attracted to her because of her looks? There were so many other girls that I could've tried to snag instead of Gwen, but my attention was exclusive to that one girl, even more than on my male friends from Total Drama. Why couldn't I try to grab someone else that's far better than Gwen? I'll tell you why: Because I was such an idiotic naive fool living my life through this fake and unnatural nature of optimism I once had.

I was such a fool back then. In my attempt to be cool, I only made my social life a lot worse.

At least Sierra isn't around to bother me anymore. At the end of World Tour, Sierra, despite claiming to be just my friend, quickly returned to stalking me. I tried filing for a restraining order, but it only worked for a few days. Deciding enough was enough, I decided to change all of my personal data such as my social media accounts, registrations, location, etcetera. It was the only way Sierra wouldn't find me. My parents agreed to this, and I moved to Vancouver to study and live there. My family's extremely rich. We're actually one of the richest people in Canada. Getting me a new house and a post-secondary tuition was very easy for them. To this day I haven't received any messages, letters, or any sort of word from Sierra. I'm so relieved that this development is still continuing, and that I'll never run into Sierra for the rest of my life.

But I'm not gonna lie, I'd hate myself if anything bad happens to her. I hope she's doing okay wherever she is.

I also decided to drop my Codemeister act since there's no point in using that ego any longer. The Codemeister's dead, and he's never coming back.

I check my watch to find that it's been an hour now since I started walking through the forest trail. It's getting pretty dark. I better return home for tomorrow. It feels like its starting to get colder.

As for my former castmates, I still kept in touch with most of them. Trent, Owen, Noah, Harold, and DJ are who I still chat with online. We chat or talk over Facecam over what's happening with our lives. I learned from Noah that he's dating a girl he met named Emma from this other reality show that he competed in a few years ago. It was called The Ridonculous Race. I was proud of him for that, but also jealous He managed to snag himself a hot girl and not me. I totally wish I was him right now. And just in case, I took caution and made myself anonymous in the chat room or on video calls so Sierra wouldn't find me. They understand my predicament.

When I got back home, I turned on the TV to see if there was anything worth watching. There wasn't really anything on except for some sports and news. I turn to the news channel to get my mind off of Total drama. Only, when I turned it off for the night, my mind went back to Total Drama.

Total Drama really changed my future. According to Sierra, I was polled as one of the most popular contestants in the cast. I never really cared for outside popularity though, I just want to have friends, and to also get a girlfriend. In fact, Total Drama changed everyone's lives

I joined Total Drama back in 2007 when I was sixteen. When it ended, my popularity slowly died down afterwards, and I became a normal everyday human being. Sometimes I would just wish on a shooting star for a second chance in the series. A chance for redemption, not just to win, but to also get a girlfriend.

Just one chance in redeeming myself. That's all I ask. Though, that's just as possible as if my life was all a reality show. I can't go back and change the past, no matter how much I want to. It's 2017 now, and time machines have yet to be invented.

I went into bed and slowly drift to sleep, just before I made one more thought.

I wonder how it could've been if I wasn't so focused solely on Gwen.

"Like I'll ever go back to that show," I muttered, just before sleep took hold of me...