Remember when I said in chapter 19 that you'll be seeing a total OOC Cody? Well, I was wrong. What you're about read is an character for Cody that is so OOC, you're going to start questioning my writing methods. So brace yourselves.


I'm feeling a rough surface underneath me, again. This feeling could only mean either A) I fell off my bunk in the middle of the night without realizing, or B) I'm dreaming again. I slowly begin opening my eyes to see that I'm wearing my everyday clothing, I'm on a hard surface, and I'm in some white void.

"Dammit," I mumble, seeing this to be some dream. But what kind of dream is this?

I get back on my feet before looking around at my surroundings. There's just white in every direction. No really, it's all just white going on forever. I'm not floating at least; gravity's a thing in this dream thankfully. Though, this has got to be the strangest dream I'm ever, well, dreaming. "Hello!? Am I alone!?" I call out to whomever else might be here. I can't even hear my echo.

Maybe it's best if I, well, walk for who knows how long until I get somewhere? Or at least until I wake up? I doubt pinching myself is going to startle me awake.

It looks kind of weird when I'm walking like this. Because this is a white void I'm in, it almost feels as if I'm walking in place. I even lost track of where I initially began. Good thing this is a dream. Otherwise, I'd be lost with no way out. Think what you want, but it feels like I've been walking for hours on end.

Then, all of a sudden, I notice something out of the corner of my eye. I glance to get a better view of whatever it is, a little off in the distance. Is that what I'm supposed to find? Even if it's a trap, it won't kill me. It took, but after some fast paced jogging I manage to arrive at my next point.

It's a small bedside table. And on the table is a book. It's dark green, half the size of a typical book. There isn't even a title on the cover or back page.

Perhaps this book has some message I'm supposed to read? Or maybe a story that my conscious is offering me. Maybe a collection of short stories for me to read until I wake up? Whatever's in this book, I guess I'm supposed to read it.

I spun around before sitting down on the night table since there's nowhere else to sit. I slowly open the book and begin to read the contents inside.

"Well, Diary…-" I immediately stop after reading the first two words inside. This book is a diary! Not a book. But this only forms new questions: Whose diary is this? And should I read it?

Don't remind me and say that I shouldn't read this diary because I already know that. I've watched a lot of Treehouse TV cartoons to know that indulging in other people's privacy is wrong. The only thing is that this is a dream. Besides the table, there is nothing here in this void to fill in the gap of my boredom until I wake up. And how do I even know this diary belongs to someone else? This could be my conscious diary that my brain somehow developed.

On the other hand, this diary might be holding something that I've been searching for some time. Whatever's in this diary could be beneficial to my well being. All these thoughts roaming in my head are making it more difficult to resist reading it.

I gave in and opened the book again. And so, I begin reading the first page of self-inscribed thoughts, written in blue ink.


Well, Diary, here we are. We're officially on reality tv. I still can't believe that I decided to come here. You probably don't know what's going on since I only brought you recently. Am I right?

Yeah, I think I'm right. I'll tell you what going on.

So my brother and I made a bet that I couldn't survive competing on reality tv. There's this new show called Total Drama Island that we both discovered, and he says I'd lose my sanity after only a few episodes. I told him he was ridiculous, so I signed myself up to prove him wrong. I guess this gives me a good opportunity to win money for that art school I want to apply. Plus, my mother's mortgage needs to get paid also.

The ads for this show were showing a five-star resort to be where the game's being taken place. I couldn't tell then if the promos were stretching the truth or not, but that didn't stop me from looking forward to this resort.

Things were entirely off to a great start when I arrived. I finally learned that the promos were stretching the truth. They were doing more than stretching the truth. They were outright lying about the whole resort thing. Now I'm stuck on some supposed 'camp' in the middle of Muskoka. I'd give the host (whose name is Chris mind you) a piece of my mind, but I already got a vibe telling me he's one of those types of host.

And the other people here? My competitors? Some of them look either weird, mean, or annoying. I have a feeling that my trigger will get pulled by one of these people here. I don't know which.

But… there is one guy who looks… fine I guess. Still, I'm not going to let my guard down. I have to be careful with these strangers.

P.S. I should probably give you a name. It's probably going to be aggravating only to call you 'Diary' always. I think I'll dub you… Thalia, after the nymph child of Hephaestus. Don't like the name? To bad, deal with it.


Ha! That's freaking hilarious, as I begin laughing at Gwen's wittiness and cynicism. Who knew she could write this good?

This kind of writing is pushing me to continue reading. With this in mind, I then turn to the next entry.


You have no fucking idea what went down today. Literally! Let me reiterate to you what happened.

Once the last camper arrived, Chris told us to group for a group photo. He was stalling for sometime before he was ready. And then, right when he clicked, the dock gave away, and we found ourselves wet from top to bottom. I'm beginning to think this camp had no budget when it got built. Lord only knows how horrible the cabins will look. But I'll get to that later.

Chris gave us a rundown of how this place works. Every other day there'll be a challenge, last one standing will win the big cash prize, yadda yadda yadda. Then we got into teams. I swear that Chris put me on the team with some of the strangest and weirdest people ever.

On my team there's yours truly; a guy named Trent who's into music; some girl from Mean Girls named Heather; Lindsay who looks totally clueless; Justin, a cliche pretty boy; a fat tub named Owen who's overly excited to be here for some reason; some excited girl named Beth; an African-Canadian named Leshawna that didn't sound racist, did it; some annoying guy named Noah who's far more cynical than me; a girl named Katie who says 'EEEEEEEEE!' often, which is making my ears bleed GOD DAMMIT; Cody who I'm not so sure of. He looks like some everyday-happy geek. It's going to take some time for me to articulate my thoughts on my teammates for now.

By the way, our team's name is the Screaming Gophers. Lame name.


A feeling of fear is shooting through me from the way she described her new teammates. I mean, I get that we were strangers to her at first, but couldn't she be nicer and describe us… nicer?

According to this, Gwen thinks that I'm some 'happy-everyday geek.' Still, that's a pretty vague initial description of me.

Might as well continue reading.


The cabins. Oh god, the cabins. They're the shittiest looking cabins I've ever seen — both on the outside and inside. I get that cabins are a thing for summer camp, but couldn't the production team hire renovators to refurbish the cabins just a little?

The beds themselves feel rough. I managed to get the softest possible bed I could find in our side, but it got ruined because of some massive giant. I think his name's DJ? Whatever. Now I had to wait and hope that my bed will get fixed because I'm not going to sleep on the cold-hard floor for the rest of the summer.

The food though… what the fucking hell are these people serving us!? That chef who must've worked in some prison before this can't cook at all! He's making us eat these living-moving-red… things! I don't even know what to make of it. I was serious when I told him I saw my meal move.


You and me both, Gwen. What else you got?


Anyways, the inaugural challenge was a real challenge alright. We're told to jump off a cliff that looks just as tall as the CN Tower and into the lake below. I repeat: We're to jump off a cliff that seems to rival the height of the CN Tower! Did these people even safe-tested these challenges at all?! Wouldn't we die from the mere impact of the water!? And if that wasn't enough, there were sharks in the water. FREAKING SHARKS! What kind of host has us risking our lives like that?

That's not the craziest part though. The craziest part was when someone took the leap of faith out of nowhere and plunged himself to his doom! It wasn't even his turn, and he still leaped! He must've wanted to get it over with and give himself a quick, painless death. But no, he survived and managed to keep his bones intact. It's funny really. I thought he was going to cry like a typical damsel in distress when it came to his turn.

Two campers on the Killer Bass (that's our rival team's name) didn't jump. The giant from before because he was too scared, and some other girl named Courtney. She was expecting more than half of us not to jump. Either that or she's too proud to admit she's scared.

I was so looking forward to proving that stuck-up girl wrong. But before that, I had to endure some more bitchiness from Heather. She doesn't want to jump because she'll get her hair wet. Wet hair? Really? I get the sharks and the height, but damp hair? Was she for real? Luckily that other girl Leshawna got right up to her and threw her off the cliff. That was entertaining. Maybe there's something in Leshawna that I could feel comfortable being around.

I almost forgot to mention. Katie switched teams with a girl named Izzy. She was suffering from being separated from her supposed BFF. I honestly didn't care, less annoying sounds for me thankfully. Now I had to deal with some insane wacko.

Eventually, my turn came, and I was scared out of my life. Owen went last and caused a massive tsunami and got us wet. Again.

We won the challenge at least, and now we were to pull some crates. What was inside was necessary for the next challenge: building a hot tub.

At least we were given some wagons to carry our crates. Tough luck for the other team. That's what that Hispanic girl gets for jumping to conclusions.

We were supposed to open the crates with our teeth. Do you have any idea what splinters and ropes taste like, Thalia? Of course not, you're an inanimate object.

Nevertheless, we got our hot tub materials out and started work. I was gathering some planks for use until someone tried to assist me. It took a moment before I realized he's the guy who jumped first — that geeky kid named Cody. I was going to say sure until something in my mind told me otherwise. After all of my past encounters with geeks and nerds, I don't think I should associate with him neither. He's a go-on-optimistic-happy-go-swaggy geek. I said no and told him to leave. And guess what, he went. I thought he'd keep insisting on helping me and I'd had to tell him no some more. That was kind of weird.

But there's, even more, to say about that guy. Earlier, Courtney, that stuck-up counsellor-in-training or something girl, got her eye swollen. Cody went up to her and offered her some eye drops. She kept on declining before Cody did something that I was least expecting. He shouted right in the girl's face making her flinch. He calmed down and managed to give her some eye drops. Maybe now she'll think instead of acting stubborn. And Cody… well, I need to do a lot more articulating on that guy now.

By the way, Thalia, we won the hot tub challenge. The Bass lost. Their hot tub was a total mess. We were given a hot tub party as our reward for winning the challenge. The party was awesome. We partied until… I think up to around midnight. I'm sort of a night-owl, so I wasn't tired. But now I feel sleepy.

That about does it for today. Until next time Thalia.


I don't know what to make of this entry. She mentioned me a lot in this one.

What's surprising is the mention of some previous encounters with geeks in the past. I'm pretty sure I'm not the first geek she crossed paths. There's bound to be more like me in other schools across the country. Was she expecting me to act differently? Did she want me to persist in helping her then?

She, along with everyone else, saw my scuffle with Courtney. According to what's been written here it only made Gwen more confused about my personality. Does she expect to understand everyone's distinct character on the brim with whoever she meets?

She also wrote in here that she was expecting me to scream like a damsel in distress when I leaped. That's rather insulting. Yes, I did cry like a damsel in distress the first time, but that still doesn't give her right to judge my reactions.

The next entry's the Awakeathon. I quickly skim through it to find it was mostly about her getting along with Trent. It's cute, but this is about me right now. I need answers on what Gwen has against me.

I turned to the dodgeball entry.


I was so tired this morning, and I literally couldn't feel my face. Last night's challenge was so brutal. I honestly couldn't tell what's real or not.

Then, Chris comes in announcing to get ready for 'today's' challenge. Another challenge already?! Even though the last one ended yesterday!? Can't we have a break!? We're not inanimate objects like you Thalia! We can't take constant beatings as you can! Sorry if I'm insulting you, I'm just still so mad at Chris for making us function more today. We were behind schedule according to him. Is there even a schedule to follow?

Well, whatever. Today we had to compete in dodgeball — finally, a common challenge that we can do without any unnecessary sufferings.

Things were going well for us. Noah, the annoying cynic who barely lifts a finger, hardly contributed to this challenge. He was only on court twice, and just because Cody somehow managed to convince him.

Speaking of Cody, I was astonished to see him play so well. I thought geeks don't play physical sports. Doesn't he stay in his room and play video games all day, while also watching porn and hentai? How's he that good? He's an enigma. I can't get a grip on that guy! Why am I having trouble getting his persona? On the one hand, he's happy and cheerful and gets up close with girls. But on the other side, he's sad, depressed and likes to yell and scream a lot.

Woah, I almost went into a rant there. Have to calm down.

Anyway's, Noah was being a total dick for almost the entire game. He didn't want to play at all. He only played for two rounds when Cody brought him in and when he made a plan in the final round. I'll give the snarker some credit, though. His plan almost worked. We'd probably win if it weren't for that nerd's dance moves. I think his name's Harold? Whatever, I don't think I'll be associated with that guy any time soon.

I'm kind of surprised that Lindsay came back on her own. The stereotypical ditz blonde went out with some jock from the other team for a walk (the jock's name is Tyler from what I recalled). I swear I saw them giving each other lovey-dovey goo-goo eyes, thinking they'd hook up. It's always like that with every hot girl and sporty jock. But no! She comes back to continue playing, and Tyler comes in looking sad. What did the heck happen between them?

Whatever, again. It's not like Lindsay's relationship with Tyler would've had an effect on my future in general.

I was thinking of voting for Noah to be eliminated, but the Leshawna told me it be best to vote Justin out instead. He ditched us when an incoming ball gave him a black eye; didn't play for the rest of the game. Perhaps it's best; I don't know why but his silence was a little creepy.

Trent's been hanging out with Cody a lot though, though I don't know why. But at least he's there with me more than him.

I mean, I'm trying to ignore him, but he's so cute! If they had custom ordered a guy to be a distraction for me here, it would have been McHottie! I have no clue why but we totally connect, he's pretty much the only person I can relate to here, and I know it's a cliché, but I love guys who play guitar! He was so much fun to talk to during the Awake-a-thon. He's probably the only good thing to come out of me coming here.

Even though I like Trent, I'm still not sure if I want to pursue a relationship with him. I only know him for barely a week, and I don't believe in love at first sight. But we have seven more weeks on this desolate rock; anything is possible in the meantime.


I can't believe what I just read in there! That's Gwen's excuse for giving me the stink eye? Because I'm some enigma? If I were bothering her, then surely her hate for me would be understandable. But a conundrum, seriously? And does she have the guts to think that I'm sluggish like a lot of other geeks? Well, that's not the case with me at all. I may be skinny, but I'm not another Noah.

It's not just that though; I hate how she described Lindsay like that. She can be smart when she feels like it. Sure the idea of Lindsay not wanting to be with Tyler is absurd, I can agree with that, but be more kind to her!

Though, there is something that warrants my interest. Gwen mentioned a few times some other geeks that she had a run-in. Was I not the first geek to try and grab her attention? If that's true, then things may start to make sense slowly. I wish she didn't write about me like that. It feels pretty insulting.

As for the rest, I'm not surprised to find myself rereading her thoughts on Trent. Some of these words were the same ones that Heather read the first time around. She also wants to take it slow with him, so that's that.

To me, it seems like that the next entry is going to throw some more insults at me. Is it even worth reading the rest at this point? No. I've got to keep on reading. The answer I'm looking for should be in here somewhere. So I read.


WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED TODAY!?

WHAT THE FUCK CODY!?

I have no idea what happened, but someone stole you and wrote inside you! I'm so sorry, Thalia! I'm sorry! Your theft was all my fault! I should've kept a closer eye on you! Or at least got you a lock to hold my thoughts in. And now someone wrote in your pages. They even displayed those ridiculous fake thoughts to not just in front of the campers and Chris, but on NATIONAL TELEVISION!

And they have the nerve to call you 'Diary'!

I'm the centre of attention now, Trent hates my guts, and Cody lashed at me when I blamed him for stealing you!

Oh, you don't know? I thought you do since you were there to see it. Then again, you don't have eyes and ears. I might as well tell you what happened.

After Chris read my diary out loud to everyone present and on TV, Trent felt insulted thinking that I hate his guts. I tried to show him my real thoughts on him, but someone ripped your pages out! They somehow even managed to replicate my handwriting!

At first, I thought it was Cody, so I blamed him. Why Cody? Well, I'll tell you why. Ever since the first day here, I felt that he was a generic perverted geek who only views women as prizes for fucking. All geeks are like that. They have a stash of porno under their beds, they watch anime with girls with giant fake tits, and they do anything to either try and steal a women's underwear or peak in their stalls!

That's how Cody is supposed to be. A perverted geek who only wants to put a baby in us women! I saw him talking with those Bass girls, Courtney and Bridgette. The arrogant C.i.T. and that blonde surfer. And every time I saw him getting motorboated by Lindsay's fake tits does wonder's to my fucking nerves! Every geek is like that. They'd do anything to touch a women's chest or butt.

I even saw him spending 'quality' time with Lindsay to help her remember everyone's names here. I'll give him credit, he's attempting to make her less annoying, but even I know that he offers only to benefit himself. I've seen guys like him before. They aren't muscular, confident, or extraordinary in any activities that tend to attract girls. So, to make up for that, they draw on the only way they know has even a shot of working, and that's by acting nice. They become the pillar of support; the shoulder to cry on, a friend who just so happens to have a penis getting hard.

Sometimes though, that's not always the case. Even the most helpful and 'generous' geeks can be the sneaky little bastards at times. He talks as if he doesn't care he lacks a girlfriend, he looks mad and argues about things that we all agree that's annoying (like Courtney's whining and complaining), and while acting nice, he becomes sarcastic at the same time. But Cody, oh boy Cody is probably the most strategic and well-acted geek I ever came across. Besides me, he's so good in fooling others that it looks like he has Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Don't know what that is, Thalia? It's a disorder where a person can have more than one identity living inside their head. An old man, a child, a housekeeper, or a black woman are some examples, and it can be very, VERY creepy. I'm pretty sure Cody doesn't have D.I.D., but it sure feels like he does. It makes him even more disturbing and makes me even more cautious around him.

I thought it was only a matter of time before he makes his move on me next. I felt that he orchestrated the theft of you so he could comfort me and then later try getting in my pants.

and then this happened.

Cody SHOUTED at me. He lashed out at me so loud that it got me to flinch. That geek somehow managed to intimidate me. He managed to fucking scare me! I became afraid of a fucking geek! I know I'm over exaggerating, but I never thought in my lifetime that I'd feel that intimidated. Not even the bitches at my school were capable of doing that. He wasn't just mad, but was on the verge of a psychological breakdown!

He mentioned almost every girl on this island and how he has no plans to sway them he adds that I'm no exception to him. He degraded me for how I treated him, then mentioned that despite my nature as a loner, I'd still hang with Trent and Leshawna. Ironic isn't it?

Although I'm not sure if it'll ever be the same again between Trent and me.

He read my mind on all the stuff I thought he would do.

Finally, to finish things off, he told me about how his personal life was like before entering this show. He must've had some bully encounters for most of his life. That's the thing with geeks like him. That nerd, Harold, I saw him getting picked on by Duncan and Geoff a few times. Sucks to be him, but that's how the social status works usually.

And once he finished his rant, he spun and headed out without a word. Again, I became the centre of attention. Everyone just stared at me like I'm a ghost. Silent and floating aimlessly, just what a spirit does.

By now, I'm feeling more relaxed. My nerves are still acting from that incident earlier today, and now it just got me thinking again.

That was probably one of the most legit rants that I heard in a while. There was no aura of acting or deceiving that I felt off from Cody. I can't seem to make heads and tails with this guy. He IS an enigma! I get him at first; then I don't. Then again, and then I get jinxed. It's happening again and again and again. What's it going to take for me to see his true self? What is he anyway? A perverted jerk or some lone geek in need of something else?

I don't know what to think at this point. I don't even want to consider anymore. I lost Trent, I'm on center stage, and now this thing with Cody! How can it get worse?

NO! Don't think that! Don't jinx yourself again, Gwen! You're only going to run into even more problems.

Thalia, I don't want to think anymore. Maybe some good night's sleep will help me. Goodnight.


Everything went quiet. Even my breathes barely made a sound in this endless void of nothingness. The more I read, my grip on this journal tightens. There's that feeling of need to shout again, maybe even attack — anything to let all of this rage out of my system. But nothing seems to be coming out.

I was right before I started reading this… a killing nightmare of an entry. Never had I ever felt so insulted in my life. I've been offended by my castmates in the past for being weak, a geek, and a total perv. But this, even if they're just words written on some pieces of papers, is making me feel like Courtney when she yells during World Tour or All-Stars.

Gwen, this whole time, is probably feeling repulsed by me because she thinks I'm like every geek she once crosses paths. It must be the case really; I'm not the first geek to fall head-over-heels for her the first time. But she thinks that I'm like every geek she's ever met? Is she judging me based on her past experiences? Does she believe that all geeks are the same, act the same, think the same, like the same thing, or whatever else is the same between us cliques!? How heavy of a Liberal is she goddammit!?

That's not even the worst part though. Gwen thinks that all my kind acts are to benefit me and only me! Maybe at first, but I'm a changed man! I know what's for me and what someone else is in massive need! I'm not trying to live on sex like Quagmire from Family Guy does! I don't play tricks for my personal needs dammit!

And that's not it. Gwen has the galls to compare my mindset to someone who has Multiple Personality Disorder, a fatal psychological disease that could limit someone's life significantly! I don't have different Cody's running around in my head, taking control whenever they feel like it. Doesn't she realize when she competed in All-Stars how poor Mike's life is like with different persona's running inside his mind? And one of them just so happens to be a psychopathic criminal trying to dominate for control!

Then there's her hypocrisy. She thinks that every man desire is to fuck girls. If that's the case then why is she hanging out with Trent? What attributes does Trent has besides playing the guitar and looking cute does he have that makes him an exception out of 3.2 billion males on this planet? Now that I think about it, what did she see in Duncan besides shallow attractions that makes him another exception!?

Are all fan-favourites on this island goddamn hypocrites!?

I have got to relax. I must rest. I can't start ranting now. I've only just wiped away the sands off the lid of the treasure chest. These were written before I even hooked her up with Trent. Things should've been better between us, but she still kept giving me the stink eye. There has to be an explanation of why she hasn't given me the benefit of the doubt yet.

There's only one thing to do about it. I've got to read more about this diary.

I begin to skim through the next few entries merely — the entries about the camping challenge, the tuck shop trip, and the phobia challenge. There wasn't much of me in those entries, unlike the last ones. It was more about herself and thoughts on the challenges, and how she misses Trent. They were less heated also which makes things a little more relaxing.

The next entry is the canoe trip entry. This entry was the one that I've been looking to read. Another series of 'moments of truth' begins as I begin to learn.


Things happened today, Thalia. It seems my time here looks to be taking a surprise turn.

I've... sort of hooked up with Trent finally. I'm surprised at this new development myself. I'm probably more astonished over how we managed to hook up.

One word: Cody.

I'm not sure if you knew this already, but I haven't been feeling high in spirit ever since that day when you-know-what happened. I'm not even going to describe that day thoroughly again. I want to forget about it and move on, and I know you do too.

We were told by Chris to canoe to an island called Boney Island. I know, it sounds so spooky that I was getting total goosebumps just from the name alone. Anyways, I wanted to try to make things better with Trent and me, so I went to ask him to be my partner.

Or I would've asked him if it weren't for Cody. He showed up out of nowhere and suggested he and I partner up together. He didn't sound like he was trying to hit on me. Though, something in me acted up before I found myself twisting his left arm in retaliation. I don't know how to explain it. Either I still don't trust him, or it was some mere instinct that caused me to do that.

In the end, I budded with him while Lindsay takes Trent with her. Things were so awkward between us. Cody tried to start a conversation with me, but goddammit his weak attempts were just plain pathetic and annoying. I sacked him with my paddle when my limit gets reached. Again, he and I argued: he asked me why I'm making things so complicated to him, but boy oh boy he has no idea how he's making things complicated to ME.

Now here's where the crazy part starts. Cody brought up Trent. I tensed up when he did, but he said that he could help make things better between us. It wasn't the offer that caught me off guard, but his SELFLESSNESS that crumbled my initial thoughts of him.

He sounded moderate and honest, unlike the past peeps I had to deal. I asked him what's the catch, but he told me there was none. There was nothing else to say except to wait it out and see what happens.

By the time we got to Boney Island, things didn't turn out great but when does anything turn out great here? We almost became beaver meat! A pack of hungry beavers chased us down; since when were beavers carnivorous!? Then we were chased by some meat-eating birds; when do birds eat meat!? I'm beginning to question the wildlife here in Muskoka.

Then Trent ran into some quicksand. We all started to freak out, even me. I couldn't think of any way to save him. Things were happening so fast! Lindsay tried saving him, but surprise surprise, she got stuck too.

And honestly, the way they got rescued had got to be the most cliche and comedic method O ever witness. Cody swings from a tree on a vine to grab them, Indiana Jones style. Though, it ended in an epic failure. Cody missed the two and slammed into a nearby tree. Luckily, the vine came back, Trent catches it and pulls himself and Lindsay out. They congratulated Cody for rescuing them.

...I'll admit, if it weren't for him, they wouldn't have that vine to pull themselves out.

That incident caused us a significant delay in our progress. Our rival team was in the lead already gathering woods for their rescue fire. We immediately knew what we had to do and rushed for our sticks.

The Bass was leading, but only because Duncan was using his lighter. And being the unfair host he was, Chris let it slide.

But get this: we still won! How? By Izzy of course. She turned our rescue fire into an actual fireball! She said she learned how to do that at some summer reserve which got the RCMP chasing her. I didn't believe that at first. What do I mean by 'at first?' I'll come back to that soon. But first, I need to get back to Cody.

It was time to race back to the island, and Cody put his plan to hook me up into action — did that sound cliche? He suggested that he and Lindsay canoe together while I go with Trent. It was such a cliche move on his part, but for some reason, it works. It felt warm having Trent sitting next to me again, and judging by his face; he's up to the idea too.

I thought it was going to be a soft, quiet canoe ride just the two of us. The Bass was behind us with no way off. Oh, I didn't mention it yet? Well, Harold was being an idiot and threw his team's paddles into their fire. I thought we had this challenge in the bag. But guess what, Izzy helped the other team out! She gave them some advice to get someone to push from behind to get back to Wawanakwa! And it worked! We lost because of Izzy! They had DJ push them back because he's the strongest of the Bass, all thanks to Izzy.

I was initially going to vote Izzy out, but Noah suggested that Lindsay should go because she lost the map and was slowing us down a lot. That and she wouldn't be much help in future challenges. Cody didn't seem on board with that idea though, and he just up and left the meeting.

Alright, now we get to the biggest twist of the night. Remember when I told you that Izzy's on the run from the RCMP? Well, turns out to be true! During tonight's elimination, when it came down to the remaining two (that would be Izzy and Lindsay), a fucking RCMP helicopter appeared out of nowhere! They were after Izzy! All that crazy stuff Izzy was talking about was real, and she escaped like a maniac before any of us could question her further!

Things happened today. A lot of things happened. Things between Trent and I got fixed and Cody's still… I still don't know yet. All I hope is that things go north from then on.


This new entry didn't upset me on the level as the last entry did, but I'm still cross from what I just read.

At least I know why Gwen tried to break my arm. It was in a manner of instincts. That or my lashing at her didn't tear her wall down with a message saying how I don't mean business.

What upsets me in this entry is that she hasn't given me the benefit of the doubt after hooking her up with Trent. I'd understand if she were surprised by my selflessness for helping her (considering I wasn't so selfless back the first time), but unlike last time, she's not convinced that I'm a good guy. She says my methods were cliche and nothing else.

I'm glad that Gwen had a better day that day. I'm pleased that I made her day a happy one. But where's the 'thank you' that I deserve?

It also boils me how she bluntly decides to vote Lindsay out without thinking how much I care about her. 'Didn't seem on board with the idea!?' I sure as heck was not, and still am not on board with the idea. I still haven't thought how the voting from that night went. Though at this point, it doesn't matter since Izzy's gone, for now.

Perhaps now would be a good time to put this book down. I think I've found all the answers that I was looking for about Gwen. I would've done so if I hadn't noticed something out of my eye.

It's another entry, written in her usual handwriting. It must be her latest one. I can only assume it was from the paintball-deer-hunting challenge. The only thing I remember that got on Gwen's nerves was suggesting to stick together, with me, her and Trent. She didn't take it kindly and walked away with Trent in tow.

This last entry might have something that could be of value to me. Feeling desperate for that value, I begin reading Gwen's final entry.


I haven't felt this embarrassed in my entire life. I was forced to cosplay as a deer for today's challenge. A freaking DEER of all things!

Chris had us go on an extreme and wild deer hunt. Half the team hunts for the other team's herd and vice versa. I had to be a deer for my team along with Trent, Cody and Heather. Why am I always forced to be near the latter two? At least Trent's with me, making things a little bit better.

Heather ditched us to search for her lackeys, and I got Trent and me to ditch Cody. I was confident he could take care of himself.

I take it back. I didn't think Cody's even qualified enough to take care of himself. Mentally, perhaps. Physical wise, I doubt it. But JESUS CHRIST! The turnout was entirely alien to me after he fought against a bear!

Yeah, you heard me. Cody fought toe to toe with a freaking bear. A BEAR OF ALL THINGS! Granted it was an animatronic, but just seeing its head was enough to give me chills down my spine. Cody somehow managed to decapitate a giant robotic bear that might've been at least twenty times DJ's strength.

He quickly blamed Chris because he thought he sent the bear after him. Chris denied his claim, like how any sadistic jerk would. It makes sense; our pain must be what keeps Chris McJerk in working order.

What further got under my nerves was when Lindsay and Bridgette began to fight over him almost immediately. It's one thing to hug him out of fear and concern, but fighting over him when he isn't worth fighting for really boils my nerves.

Okay, I know you're an inanimate object, Thalia. But I'm sure if you're real, you'd be asking me why I'm still cold towards Cody, even after he did something no geek would ever do for you?

Plain and simple. I don't trust him. I don't think I can ever put my faith in him, as the kind of enigma he is. One moment he's happy and the next he's depressed. I can't tell if that's his strategy in 'wooing' girls, but I don't want to become a victim to a man's kindness.

Take Courtney for example. He tried to get her to be more open with herself by being as kind as possible, and that failed miserably. His self-loathing at his failed attempt is probably a hoax to earn himself some sympathy from other girls here. Then you have Lindsay, I told you this already, Cody's helping her remember the names of everyone on this island. Surprisingly, his 'lessons' are going somewhere. Lindsay finally got my name right after two weeks on this island. I got used to her mistaking my name long ago, but at least she's less annoying now. Still, she has the mindset of a peanut, and a girl of that low intelligence is the perfect prey for a horny geek like him. And finally Bridgette, and this is where his 'depression' comes into play. I'm not a hundred percent sure, but he probably goes to a school where the student body not only runs on status but looks too. My school's like that, but I tend to stay away from the many social groups and do my own thing. Geeks get bullied, but they just walk-off after getting beaten up the next day. Cody probably wishes to climb the status ladder, and the way he's going about it is by grabbing the girls attention. The more girls a guy has, the more popular he is, and it's sick to no end. Bridgette's probably the kind of girl who would be there for someone who is troubled, and Cody knows this. The more troubled he looks, the more sympathy and 'help' he'll get from her. Eventually, the more sympathetic Bridgette is, the more she becomes a harlot like Lindsay.

Okay, you know what, enough about Cody. Let me tell you what happened afterwards. We didn't have a meeting to discuss who to vote off, so we decided to see what happens. I'm pretty sure I along with Trent, Leshawna, and everyone else who isn't Heather or Lindsay knows that Heather is going to get voted off. If there's one thing that could lower my bitterness of this place, it's Heather leaving. If she leaves, I wouldn't have to hear or even acknowledge that irritating tone of hers. Besides Cody, she has been a total bother to me ever since Day 1. Everyone was on board with this, and it was going to be amazing.

Only it wasn't.

Why? I'll tell you why… BECAUSE HEATHER DID NOT GET ELIMINATED! According to Chris, BETH, of all people got the majority! WHY!? I remember thoroughly writing down Heather's name on that slip of parchment and slipping it into the voting box! Trent, Leshawna and I specifically agreed that we'd vote Heather that night! What the heck was Chris playing at!? Was Heather going to walk off that elimination from the fucking start!? If so then why couldn't he fucking say so?! I wasted my vote on someone who was practically immune from the beginning! I could've used my vote to vote out Cody instead! FUCK! If only he got mauled by that bear earlier so he would've been my first vote! Why couldn't he had just let the fucking robot maul him!? It would've made things a lot easier for me! WHAT'S NEXT!? Leshawna, my best and only friend besides Trent getting eliminated next challenge?!

The unnecessary drama, tension, HEATHER, CODY! FUCKING CODY AND HIS GEEKY NATURE! I could care less if he made my time here a little better for hooking me up with Trent, BUT PLEASE GOD, JUST GET RID OF HIM FOR ME ALREADY!

I'm so done with him. I just want him, Heather, and everyone else who are associated with those two to just go away. I won't even mind if I get eliminated next time. Just so long as I don't deal with those two again.

That's it for tonight Thalia, so good-fucking-night.


The white void has been as it was when I woke up. All so silent like the thickest part of space. The only sound that I was able to make out was my heavy breathing, as it grew from silent but deadly to aggressive and deadly, and the sound of the diary hitting the floor, letting slide out of my hands. My gut feels like they've been punched — my mind's turning in so many directions from this newfound discovery. The pages that were in my hands felt like they were burning my thoughts.

This has been something I figure out already, but now I only see with my own eyes, dream or not. Gwen hates me. Not annoyed of me like in the first timeline, really hate. This whole time she's been telling me to go fuck myself. Seeing me with the likes of Lindsay and Bridgette repulsed her, all because of some ridiculous assumptions which are far from the truth. And the fact she wrote how the two blondes I grew to adore are a duo of harlots, that they're easy disgusts me to no end.

She hates me, for being a geek, for being with some girls, for some assumptions she has that was brought up by experience. And no matter how much someone tries to convince her otherwise, even by bringing up how I helped her hook up with Trent, she has to find some kind some disgusting reason to appease her justification.

"Gwen…," I utter in silence and venom. That girl, the goth that I grew to love from my first time here, isn't the girl I like anymore. That girl that goth is the girl I long to HATE!

I feel my hands reaching down.

I should never have eyed Gwen in the first place.

I grab the diary from off the floor

Gwen, this whole time was a bitch.

I begin ripping it apart.

I should never have trusted her. I should never have loved her.

Ripped pages scatter everywhere.

Instead… I should have... hated her.

The journal is destroyed. Her secrets are everywhere.

I… hate… Gwen…

I. Hate. Gwen.

I hate Gwen.

I HATE GWEN!

I HATE GWEN!

I HaTe GwEn!

i hAtE gWeN!

I HaTe GwEn! i hAtE gWeN! I HaTe GwEn! i hAtE gWeN! I HaTe GwEn! i hAtE gWeN! I HaTe GwEn! i hAtE gWeN! I HaTe GwEn! i hAtE gWeN! I HaTe GwEn! i hAtE gWeN! I HaTe GwEn! i hAtE gWeN! I HaTe GwEn! i hAtE gWeN! I HaTe GwEn! i hAtE gWeN! I HaTe GwEn! i hAtE gWeN! I HaTe GwEn! i hAtE gWeN! I HaTe GwEn! i hAtE gWeN! I HaTe GwEn! i hAtE gWeN!

GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!FUCKING!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GOTHIC!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!ARROGANT!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!STUBBORN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!DISGUSTING!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!GWEN!BITCH!

"AAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!" Taking a page from Eva, I tilt my head back, unleashing a terrifying roar that makes the whole void shatter like from an earthquake. The white realm of silent begins to crack, unable to handle my sound. The cracking intensifies. Black crack lines are forming on all sides.

The rage — the amount of rage I'm feeling, I feel total rage. Rage, not even Courtney could ever handle. I continue to roar as the realm continues to crack, everything shatters-


"GAH!" And I wake up.

"Again… Again!" I pant feeling exhausted. "FUCK!" I yell while smashing my fist onto my bunk mattress. Didn't even care that I could break the bed. They've been a wreck for a long time already.

"Well, well, well. It looks like Sleeping Beauty has finally awoken," I hear someone say that from the bottom bunk. Checking underneath, Noah's there reading another one of his novels, looking like he doesn't care for his surroundings.

"You didn't kiss me, did you?" I ask the bookworm, despite my anger flowing.

"Sure, because I totally want to make a ridiculous fantasy a reality to every creepy yaoi fangirls," he says, still keeping his eyes on his pages.

"Watch what you say, will ya? Anything we say can be used for ammo."

"It's your fault for bringing that up in the first place."

He's right. I was the one who started this chat. It was already bad enough that Noah kissed me in his sleep the first time. Well, nevermind that, I have some bigger fishes to grill.

I slump back on my bed letting my breath out. "When did I wake up?" I mutter.

"1 o'clock," I hear Noah say that. He must've heard me muttered.

I groan feeling frustrated. That's a time Noah would wake up. "Are you sure you're not mixing up your wake up time with mine?"

"Hardy-har-har. The last thing I'd ever want is a clone of me," was that supposed to be sarcasm? "Judging by your wake up you had another dream?"

Gee, isn't that obvious with every single one of them? "Well… it wasn't a nightmare. But it wasn't a good dream either."

"Care to explain?"

I sit back up and look underneath me again. "Since when did you care what my dreams are?" I don't remember Noah being this curious of my dreams?

"Well, you seem to be getting more affected by your dreams with each one, and not in a good way. The last thing everyone need is for someone to become insane."

That sounded… kind, I guess? I know Noah's a kind and mannered teen once you get to know him, he has a way of expressing it in the most annoying ways. "Thanks?... I guess?"

"So, what torment have you gone through this time within your mind space?"

I quickly debated whether I should tell Noah about what I learned about Gwen. As annoying he can get, he still has a brilliant mind for just about everything. Though, I don't know what he'd say when I tell him the answers I somehow found.

"I never said I'd tell you," I began. "This could be something only to be discussed with Gwen." I was willing to say that last part, just as a little hint for Noah to poke out.

"A dream about Gwen, huh? Did she finally tell you why she mysteriously hates you?"

My body freezes at his guess while a feeling of impression soars through my mind. He was able to decipher my hint with ease. "How did you know?" I ask.

"Oh please, you're not the only one who's curious as to why she hates you."

Yeah, I see that making sense. Even Trent and Leshawna tried to get Gwen to explain, but according to them, she was too stubborn to explain. "Well, it wasn't from her I found out why instead I read her diary. It was so detailed, even saying that me hooking her up with Trent hardly meant anything to her. If at all."

"What else did you learn?"

I want to drop it there, but I see no point. Noah knows too much already. "She had some experience with some pervy geeks."

"And she supposedly thinks you're no different?"

"Are you sure you're not some mind reader?" I ask, feeling annoyed by his accurate guesses.

"You're answers are pretty obvious. They lead from one meaning to another."

I'm going to drop it there now. Noah already has enough information as needed, no reason to explain everything else in my dream.

I want a topic change. "So, anyway… had anything happened while I was asleep?"

"You missed a good show."

I raise an eyebrow at that. "Care to reiterate?"

"Harold woke up on the dock this morning in nothing but his underwear. The girls were in the lake laughing at him, so were Duncan, DJ and Geoff. Those three were obviously behind the prank. Poor Harold, but still a laugh," he finishes with a grin.

Of course, I almost forgot about that prank. So the Bass trio pulled it on the nerd like the first time here, and I missed my chance to see it in person. Why couldn't I wake up from that dream earlier?

I would pity Harold, but it's his fault for not taking my advice into account. This rivalry isn't one-sided, to begin with, I think. If the first time showed anything, today's prank would not put Harold provoking Duncan with his messes to rest. If I had to force Harold to apologize to avoid any more tension between him and the delinquent, so be it.

"Well, poor Harold," I say. "But I have things to do," meaning it, I quickly strip from my sleepwear and clothe myself with my everyday clothing.

"I know what you're planning, Cody."

I pause putting on my shoes after hearing Noah say that. I turn my attention to him and ask him, "What am I gonna do?"

"If you think that confronting Gwen over that dream of yours will get you any explanations, you won't get any."

"No one asked for your opinion," I tell him.

"I wasn't voicing an opinion. I was stating a fact. You'd be leading yourself down a slippery slope."

"The only slippery slope is her having those hasty generalizations about me for a very long time now," raising my left index finger at the bookworm, I continue. "I will not be viewed poorly upon any longer now than I already have."

"You don't even know why she hates you. Dreams don't give out answers to life questions."

"You don't know that."

"You're talking to someone who earned himself an A+ in psychology."

"Look, Noah, I honestly don't care what you think of me," I sigh, finished putting on my shoes. "Whatever happens happens. I have some errands to run."

"You're gonna regret doing this," he calls out.

"I'll regret if I ever make a mistake," I reply as I step outside, shutting the door behind me.

Out of all the friends I've made during my time here, Noah was probably, if not the most annoying one I've made. Maybe it's just me being pissed off but did he had to be so sarcastic and apathetic to a lot of things in life? I get it, having too many siblings can be a torment to most people, but one can't let it get the best of them.

Though, I'd probably feel the same way if I were in Noah's shoes. I never had a brother or sister when growing up. A lot of times I wished and prayed that I did have either, so I wouldn't feel alone and have an actual real friend. However, my parents were already way too busy to even think about having another child or consider adopting one.

Anyway, the campground's looking pretty bare. I don't see any of my other castmates. I hope Gwen is nearby so I could confront her. She may be in her side of the cabin. With this in mind, I went up to the Girls' side and knock on it. "Anyone in there?" I call. No one was answering. I knock again, not getting a response still. The remaining Gopher girls are Lindsay, Gwen, and Heather; seems like neither of them is inside.

I'm pretty sure neither of them is in the Bass cabin. They'd be breaking some rules if they did. Chris is a hypocrite, but he'll call out on them. The Mess Hall could be where Gwen's at. That and I need something to eat. I'm do feel pretty hungry right now. My tummy will sooner or later growl in a notification.

*Grrrrrr*

You see? I called it.

Entering the Mess Hall, I'm met with… nobody. There's no one inside the building. If there's one place, any of my castmates would be it be here. It's mostly the Main Lodge of all of Wawanakwa. Granted, it looks worn down as heck, but it's still the Main Lodge.

Hang on; I wasn't considering Chef. He's the main chef on the island; he has to be in the kitchen. Unless he's not with Chris doing who-knows-what in private. Brrrrrr. That's an image I don't want to visualize.

I walk up to the window looking into the kitchen and call out, "Chef!? You in here!?" Footsteps get heard, and Chef appears from the kitchen.

"Well, finally you got up!" Chef bellows with his arms crossed. "You'd never last with your fellow troops with that damn laziness of yours."

"Noah's the lazy one, not me," I correct the hulking guy. Granted, I can be lazy a lot, but not as much as Noah. "And I had this dream that I couldn't wake myself up from."

"Again with the dreams?" Chef asks looking surprised. "Thought you had no more after that one where you ran out after. You were screaming like a banshee."

"Don't remind me, please," I sigh, pausing for a moment. "By the way, do you have any leftovers from breakfast? I missed it, and I'm starving right now."

"Sorry, soldier. I'm using the leftovers for lunch later on. It'll be a sweet combo of Hawaiian fusion casserole with some sweet 'ol meat surprise. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm."

If he were an ordinary non-Samuel L. Jackson chef talking, I might believe that lunch will look cool. And I do mean might. I'm not sure how well you could make good food from day old leftovers. But since this is Chef we're talking about, I could only imagine the horrendous glob of moving slob would look like. It's not easy to visualize.

But I'm getting off topic. "O-Okay. Have you at least seen Gwen? I need to talk to her."

"Haven't seen anyone of you other soldiers since breakfast. Why? You wanna yell at her some more?"

I let out a sigh of annoyance. "Okay, that was just one time. I was in a bad mood that day."

"That's not how I remembered."

What the hell is he talking — okay, he's right. I wasn't really in any lousy mood then. That lashing I gave Gwen that day came out of nowhere. It took the whole camp by shock, even me.

"Well, thanks anyway," I tell Chef before turning and leaving.

If I somehow don't find Gwen today, then I swear I'm going to confront her tomorrow, even if we're in the middle of tomorrow's challenge. It may be a one-way ticket to elimination, but I'd be willing to take the risk.

I don't know what it would take to show how apparent I am that I don't mean any harm. The only girls I've ever been around a lot are Lindsay and Bridgette. And even then I'm not stalking them as I did to Gwen the first time here.

Even so, Gwen still has the ovaries to think that I'm playing some wild cards to bed some hot babes for my benefits.

I hope I'm right with my suspicions. As much as I hate to admit it, Noah's right. I might be heading down a slippery slope for all I know. It's just that — that dream I had was so detailed and convincing. I'm not sure how my mind was able to conjure up such an accurate and plausible reason for Gwen's massive dislike for me.

What I've figured out may have been words from a diary, but actions do speak louder than words, but her actions in real life seem to be proving something. After all, a journal is a sanctuary where you can let out your greatest anger.

My thoughts soon get interrupted when I finally spot the person who I'm looking for. Gwen's seen exiting the communal bathrooms probably heading back to the cabin. Finally, I have my chance. Just remain calm and go to her in mannerism.

I pick up my pace to catch up to her. Once at a reasonable distance I call out to her. "Gwen!" she hears me, stops, and turns to look at me. "I need to ask you some questions."

She makes a face; her eyes are looking heated. "Can it wait some other time? I'm not in the mood." She says before walking away.

Oh no, I'm not giving up, even if it means pushing her. "Gwen! Please, don't walk away from me. I'm not sure what you're bothered by, but I really must speak with you," I already knew what's bothering her. I want to hear what she has to say.

"Please, go away," she replies with venom.

Being the persistent individual I am, I keep pressing on. "Look, Gwen, I know you hate being here; I know the cash prize is what's keeping you from quitting. But can you just-"

"CODY!" Gwen snaps, spinning around looking into my eyes. "SHUT UP! Can't you take a hint that I want to be alone!? Why can't you take a goddamn hint that I don't wanna be near you!?"

I was almost taken aback by this sudden behaviour. There were times when Gwen did snap, but not from total stubbornness. If this happened back the first time, I would've obeyed without hesitation… But no, not this time. Heck, I'm unsure if Gwen even deserves to speak after all the crappy treatment she gave me these past few weeks.

Gwen began to try and walk away again, only to fail. Something in me snapped. And the next thing I knew…

"NO!" I shout so loud, snatching hold of Gwen's left arm with my right with some hidden strength I rarely realize. "I'm not allowing you to ditch me this time!"

Gwen looks scared for a moment before snatching back her arm, "Don't you dare touch me you-"

"That's what you're concern about!? That I grabbed your arm!? Do you want to know why I did that? Because you're stubborn," I point at Gwen. "You're so stubborn not to be willing to have a one-on-one so that you could continue living in your fantasy!"

Gwen's eyes shot up, "Fantasy!? What the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh cut the 'innocent goth' act won't yeah! I know why you hate me! I know why you give me the stink eye and want me out of your eyesight. You think I'm a creep, right!? You think I'm some sneaky little bastard trying to get into your pants and make you pregnant? You think I'm so pathetic!?"

"What!? I-I don't think you're pathetic!" Gwen says, her voice raising a bit.

My glare hardened on her. "Oh, stop with your denies. I'm not easily fooled as I was before!" By this point, I think we're attracting a crowd. "Your actions proved that you don't want to have anything to do with me, all because of some hasty generalization you had on me from the very start of this contest!"

"I never jumped to any immediate conclusions on you!"

I don't believe her one bit. "Oh really!? So blaming me for exposing your diary and saying that I'm here for sex isn't jumping to an immediate conclusion!?"

"W-Well I-"

"And speaking of jumping to conclusions, may I add that you do the same thing for almost every camper here!? Lindsay, Bridgette, and Courtney too!? Especially Lindsay and Bridgette! Two of the most kind-hearted girls I met who are there for me, and I for them, and you call them HARLOTS! You think they're dumb!? SHALLOW!? HOPELESS!? FUCKING HARLOTS!?"

"WHAT?!"

"Seriously?"

"Bridge!? A harlot!?"

"Woah!"

"Geez…"

"Ha!"

"Huh?!"

"EXCUSE ME!"

"What's a harlot?"

So people are gathering around us. I didn't take a look, but I'm pretty sure they have some awestruck or scared look on their faces. They aren't important right now. I have some bigger fishes to fry.

"I never said they're a bunch of harlots!" Gwen threw her hands up in her anger.

I stayed quiet for a moment before saying, "Eventually, the more sympathetic Bridgette is, the more she becomes a harlot like Lindsay."

Gwen stood there lowering her arms. "What did you just say?" she raised her left eyebrow.

"Was that sentence I just said something you've written in one of your recent diary passages?"

Seemingly realizing what I said, Gwen gets into a stance. "DID YOU READ MY DIARY!?"

"HA!" I clap my hands in success before pointing at the goth. "I WAS RIGHT! You do see those two as harlots! I have a half a mind to give you a lesson on making those hasty generalizations on two girls who never did anything to you!" I finish, making a fist.

"I have a half a mind to break your arm for reading my diary!" Gwen yells back, making her fist.

"I didn't read your diary, goddammit!" I half-lied. "I'm just smarter than you make me out to be!"

"Smart enough to know when to ask for an early death!" Her glare intense, but I didn't back down.

"At least I'm smart enough to know when to feel hurt when someone wants a bear to maul me! So that you can use that excuse to vote me off!" She was about to say something, possibly another deny, but I stop her before I say, "If only he got mauled by that bear earlier so he would've been my first vote! Why couldn't he had just let the fucking robot maul him!? It would've made things a lot easier for me!"

"Will you stop it!? Stop saying things from my diary!"

"I knew it again! You don't care if I ever get mauled or almost killed! Just so long as I was out of your life just for being a geek! Hating me just because I'm into certain things you're not?! Because you were stalked by some geeks once!? Are you quick to conclude that experience gives real answers and facts to human behaviour!?"

"Of course not! I never hate someone for having a different interest from mine! Only when they do things I that bothers me!"

"So geeks like me hanging out with girls that's not you, even the most normal, not-creepy and kind ones, bothers you!?"

"NO! Only those who I think are a bunch of creepy stalkers or similar to that!"

I let out a dark chuckle. "That's funny. Cause if you remember from the past few weeks, I haven't done anything that is on the level of borderline stalking! I helped Lindsay remember names of everyone here because I knew she has a horrible memory of names, and I know that everyone is annoyed when she calls you by another name! Like you! You gave Lindsay the stinkeye when she called you 'Greta.' I'm doing what no jock or bad-boy would ever do for a hot girl with ADHD! Yes, I called her 'hot,' because she is! I am a heterosexual-male teen, still going through puberty! Of course, I'm going to notice some natural features in girls! What boy doesn't besides gays or asexuals!? And Bridgette is coming to me! Because I'm in need of emotional support! Something you can't grasp upon, but instead sees my pain as an act for my benefits!"


I wasn't acknowledging whoever was watching, but by then every camper was present. Shocked, confusion and amazement are what's going through their minds right then and there. Some were even feeling deja vu, remembering a similar argument that happened some days ago.

Bridgette was looking both offended and worried. Offended after learning what Gwen thinks of her, and worried for my sake. Lindsay too, but she doesn't know what harlot is, which she shouldn't. It'll probably make her feel disgusted with herself. Noah was also there but watched with a bored face, probably was expecting this to happen. Trent stood in the sidelines too but was perhaps to scared come to his girlfriend's defence.


"That and you seem to realize that there's a bunch of other people who deserve to be hated more than me!" I took a quick look before pointing to Heather. "Ms. Queen Bee is a bossy bitch who doesn't care for anything or anyone on this island besides the prize money! Heck, she must've concocted something to get your quote-unquote best friend eliminated yesterday!"

"Hey!" I hear Heather yell that. "I'm right-"

"Shut up, will ya!?" I tell her before pointing to Duncan. "Mr. Punk Rebel only cares for own tough pride and likes to bully on the weak! If there's a boy who doesn't deserve to be dated, it's that jerk!"

"What did you just-"

"SHUSH!" I yell at Duncan before turning to Harold. "Mr. Mad Skills is disgusting and smelly! He never picks up after himself, and isn't honest with whatever messes he made!"

"GOSH! I already-"

"No interruptions!" That silences Harold. "And if that's not enough, then you must've easily forgotten how I was the one who hooked you up with Trent, the so-called only boy who isn't a creepy perv that you can trust! I did it unconditionally and out of kindness. If it weren't for me, you two would've still remain apart. And you have the knack to think that my help was part of some elaborate scheme to bed you!? Where are you getting these hasty generalizations!?"

Everyone who's present went quiet. Not even Gwen is saying anything in her defence. My anger was slowly diminishing, slowly getting replaced with anguish. "Just… why? Why am I always treated as if the world wants me dead? Why is it that whatever I do, if it involves a girl or someone else, everyone is quick to jump on my case? Is it because I'm skinny? My unmanly voice? Is that it?..."

I didn't hear anyone say anything. Either they were trying to come up with an answer, to sad to think of one, or just didn't care about my plight. I look back at Gwen's face seeing a more blank expression. Her anger must've diminished on its own.

Shaking my head, I continued. "You may have forgotten what I told you the other day, so let me repeat myself," I pause, thinking what to say. "For as long as I could remember, I was bullied either for my geeky nature or my weak looking structure. Starting with daycare, for I was thrown around, bounded to the floor, been called names, so many things that would've traumatized a toddler. And it only got worse from Elementary and onwards. I got stuffed into closets; sat on gum; forced to take a swirly; punched in the gut; received an occasional black eye! Heck, an eighth-grader even broke my wrist when I was in fifth grade! And he wasn't suspended for it! I became the laughing stock just for receiving an injury while some redneck jock earn the ladies!

"The only reason that I pushed on with my life and didn't bother to end my suffering myself was because I held onto hope. I thought that there's something that was still worth fighting. I put on a facade of optimism as a way to fight against my inner turmoil and the whole world. Only to realize it didn't work," Anger is slowly growing in me again. I'm nearing the closure of it all. "I don't know what you've been through, but there's a huge difference between you and me as victims. I was physically harmed to the point of being both physically and mentally broken. You were only called names and only a target for boys in need of pleasure. You had your mom and brother to back you up. I didn't have anyone. My parents were way too busy running their businesses even to realize that their one and only child is suffering! The only reason why I never told them is because they would barely lift a finger to aid me. You had people who could help you, and I didn't. As for the way you've been treating me as one of your past stalkers…" I turn away from her. "You're no better than any bully I came across. You're a jerk, a monster, you're your own bully… New Heather."

I hear everyone around us gasping, each of them probably with different feelings. Shocked, horrified, baffled, confused even. Gwen… well her pupils shrank; her skin is becoming paler than usual. "EXCUSE ME!?" she finally yells.

"You heard me. You are no better than-" My speech gets interrupted after feeling a fist collide with my nose, knocking me to the ground. OW! That hurts. I hear everyone gasp around us again.

"TAKE. THAT. BACK!" Gwen yells some more.

I continue lying on the ground, feeling dizzy. I'm kind of surprised that Gwen's able to hit that hard. However, I should've known so already, considering her nature. I brought my left hand to my nose, feeling some liquid coming out of it. Seeing my hand, there's a lot of red liquid on it. Gwen managed to bleed my nose! I was content in letting Gwen know how I feel with just words, but if she wants to take a more physical route… well…

"Gwen! What the heck!?" what sounded like Trent scolding Gwen.

"I'm not letting him get away with calling me that!" Gwen argues.

"He was only venting out his emotions! Even if they were harsh…" Noah says.

"He has no right to talk to any of us like that!" the goth retorts.

Seeing my own blood is making me boil in anger. Any chance in calming me down are long gone. My anger's reaching a level I never felt before in my life, not even during the first timeline. There are ten stages of anger, from lowest to highest: bothered, mild irritation, annoyed, indignation, frustrated, infuriated, hostile, wrath, fury, and lastly, rage. In Gwen's case, her level was that of indignation. When I started talking to her, my level was frustrated. It has only gone higher as we continued arguing. And now, it has past the level 10 boundary. Ladies and gentlemen welcome to stage eleven, and enraged doesn't even begin to describe what I'm feeling. It feels so… so…

"GRRRRAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" In what feels like an atom bomb blowing up, I jump and tackle Gwen like a football player.

I begin to deliver several punches to her face, my anger fueling each hit I inflict. I'm hoping to make her bleed. But then Gwen manages to reverse the position and started hammering me. Almost immediately, I try kneeing her, which was successful. Using the moment, I grabbed her wrist and threw her right into the Bass cabin's wall. Anyone watching doesn't seem to wanna intervene. Some screamed in fright while some stood like a statue. Seeing my chance, I pounce onto the goth. I grab her neck before bashing her head against the cabin wall. However, it got cut short when I feel a syringe of pain forming between my legs. Gwen must've hit me in my balls. I scream in pain, letting go and holding onto my sack. Then I feel my shirt getting grabbed, and the next thing I knew I got flung into a rock, leaving me dizzy.

Gwen begins getting up and was running towards me, but I'm not out of omission left, though! Seeing another rock by my side, I grabbed it and threw it at her face. Bullseye! I hit her cheek, causing her to fall back. This moment is my chance again! Getting on my fours, I pounce at her again landing some more blows on her. Once again, it got cut short when I feel something hit the side of my head. Gwen must've grabbed the rock I threw at her and used it on me. Again I feel dizzy, then I let out a cry of agony, feeling a pair of teeth biting on my left hand. I beat on Gwen's head before biting on her right forearm in retaliation. I hear Gwen screaming through her teeth, her mouth still latching on to my hand. Blood begins to pour into my mouth as my teeth broke through the skin.

We keep on biting each other before suddenly we get pulled apart. I see Geoff, Duncan, and Trent pulling Gwen away and I notice DJ and Noah doing the same to me. The moment we get pulled off though, we screamed in pain as our teeth released from our targets, but not without tearing off more skin. My left hand is bleeding profusely, and I could see Gwen's right arm dripping a whole lot of blood.

"Just admit it, will ya!?" I yell at the goth, struggling to break free. "Why don't you admit you want me out of your life!?"

"What's there to even say!? Everything is self-explanatory! You know it!" Gwen countered.

"ALL OF YOU JUST STOP! STOP IT ALREADY!" I hear Bridgette screaming.

"Fine! You want to hear from me!? I hated you from the very beginning! I could care less of all the good things you've done for our team! I could care less that you hooked me with Trent! I hate you! I wish I never met you! I wish you would just go and FUCKING KILL YOURSELF!"

...silence…

…all there is… silence…

...how…

...how could she…

...the girl I was once in love with…

...No one said anything… looking shocked and horrified from what they heard…

"...So it's true then," I slowly let out. "I'm nothing to no one… This world wants me dead…"

"Lil' dude… none of us said-" Geoff starts.

"You say so, but everyone's actions prove otherwise," I interrupt, a huge wave of depression hit me. "Why drag all of this on, when you all had every given opportunity to end my suffering?" My voice still has some rage in it, but it starts to crack. I turn to Duncan and tell him, "Duncan, you could've stabbed me when we were alone. I wouldn't think any less of you," I then turn to Heather, my voice cracking even more. "Y-You could've explicitly embarrassed me instead, driving me to suicide. I wouldn't think any less of you."

No one is saying anything. Feeling some tears dripping from my eyes I continued. "What am I supposed to do? Say sorry for not being something you want me to be? Like some nice, hot, sexy, practically-perfect-in-every way latino guy? Well… sorry that I'm different… i-it's just…" My eyes felt so watery now. My voice is practically broken. "I-I… j-just…" Without another word, I freed myself from DJ's and Noah's hold and ran away from the campsite.

Fucking Gwen! Fucking Chris! Fucking Total Drama! Fucking the world! Fucking everything!

"NO, CODY! DON'T LEAVE! I hear Lindsay calling me to stop.

Though, I paid no acknowledgement to their cries and continued to run into the forest, having enough of everyone and everything.

What was I thinking the first time? Why did I believe that I could get Gwen to like me the first time? Why was god so willing to put me through these god awful sufferings. I don't want any of this. I just want out.


(Meanwhile)

All everyone could do was stay back and watch me run away as I disappeared into the trees. Gwen was still panting, but her anger was diminishing at that point. It was only then that it dawned on her what she said, guilt hitting her like an anvil flattening her into a pancake.

Lindsay continued to watch where I disappeared into. Her hand was covering her mouth in both sadness and horror, horrified from what she witnessed. Tears began to drip down her face, ruining her makeup. Her suppose biggest crush had been pushed to his limits and found himself hated more than being loved. A new opinion came into her mind on Gwen: She's a total meany.

The blonde beauty became enraged and turned to Gwen. "I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, NEW HEATHER!" Lindsay shouted, her tears becoming angry ones. "Because of you, Cody is now sadder than, like forever! Like, what do you think will happen to him if he gets even more sadder!?" Everyone's acknowledgement turned to her. "I never, ever, EVER, felt like I was being used! I stuff Cody into my boobies because it makes him happy! There's more in my head than just, like, air and stuff! I love Cody! He's such a sweet and adorable guy, everything I want in one. But I didn't, like realize how sad he is! I feel like a meany-pants for not helping him much sooner, and I don't want him to hate me for it! I'll feel ashamed forever if I don't show him how much he means to me!..." Lindsay was crying by the end, soon turning and storming away.

"And where are you-" Heather started.

"To find, Cody! And you can't stop me!" Lindsay shouted at Heather before chasing after me.

She didn't get too far when someone managed to stop her. "WAIT!" Lindsay glanced back to see Bridgette running up next to her. "I coming too! I wanna help Cody too!"

Lindsay looked hesitant at first, but she nodded. "O-Okay," with that the two ran in search of me.

Gwen, meanwhile, wasn't looking too good. She fell to her knees, frozen, not looking at anything particular. It was then her own tears fall from her eyes. Softly, at first, but almost immediately they started falling faster and faster. A wretched, coughing sound joined in as her body convulsed with sobs.

"I-I…" Gwen tried to say something, but unable to let it out. All this time she felt as if she knew everything about the world, the world's humans and their behaviour. She tried to remain strong and stoic as ever when it comes to these social groups. Only, it's this very time where her views come back to bite her.

She feels so wrong, so guilty, unwanted emotions hitting her from every direction. She must've been reflecting what she said to me because she bore a very spooky face. Sweat pore from her forehead, and as for her arm, it continued to bleed.

"Come on, Gwen," Trent said softly. "Let's get your arm patched up," he turned to everyone else present. "I'll take it from here," before lifting Gwen to her feet, then leading her to the medical tent.

"...I-I messed up…" Gwen stuttered. "H-He's right… I was s-so…"

"Hey, hey, just remain calm," Trent attempted to comfort her. "We'll fix this. This mess will be fixed."


Confessional - Noah

"I tried to warn him," Noah said with his arms crossed. "I tried telling him he was heading down a slippery slope, and look where he's at now!" He threw his hands in the air in exaggeration. Then, slowly brought them down mulling over some additional thoughts. "But, geez. Cody seems to have it worse than I do."

Confessional - Duncan

"Okay, let me make this absolutely clear. I would never kill, even if someone asks me to kill them," Duncan points out. "Yeah, I'm a criminal, I went to juvie for some things I pulled on, but I don't cross that kind of line! As for Cody," he paused giving some thought. "Didn't think he has the guts to hit a woman… Gotta hand it to him, I'm actually impressed," he smirked at the camera. "He has a stronger bone than I originally thought."

Confessional - Heather

"New Heather? Seriously?" Heather sat there looking cross. "What did I even do that gave him that idea of an insult?"

Confessional - DJ

The gentle giant let out a few sniffles before he started speaking. "Mama told me if good people were ever in dire need of help, I'd be there for them. Only… I never saw anyone this in dired in all my life!"

Confessional - Courtney

Courtney could only say one thing. "...goodness…"

Confessional - Geoff

"Damn! Did you see how lil' dude was like?" Geoff said still baffled by what he saw. "I don't wanna see lil' dude dead. He still has an awesome life ahead of him. Anyone can have one! But… shit… he's sorer than how I feel after a wild party."

Confessional - Chris

"Dude…" Chris began his own confession. "That. Was. AWESOME! If it can't get even better than it already has! Our first ever physical Total Drama fight! And it wasn't even during a challenge!" He said in excitement, grinning. "Oh, I saw the whole thing. Their rivalry is sure to make things a whole lot more interesting from here on out. And as crazy as that was, check out what happens next! Right after the break."


More to come in the next part...


Too OOC for you? Yes? No? Let me know in the reviews.

Now onto the more important stuff. I've been getting a lot of comments during the past three months for not updating during that timeframe. You all have no idea just how annoying it was getting for me. But I must give a warm thanks to AnonBrowser for coming to my defence when someone made a comment like that. So thanks, dude, it really means a lot to me. And as for the trolls who's been annoying me with their comments and PMs, please stop. I have more important things to deal with than your angry Go-And-Update-Your-Story comments. Grow Up.

Now onto why I've been so inactive lately. If you think I've given up on this story, that is simply not true at all. I'm telling you countless of times that I want to see this story come to a close just as much as all of you. First and foremost, I had college to attend to. As the time I'm publishing this chapter, I've finally finished my first semester of College, and I'm back for the winter break. It was a tough fall season for me, and it's going to get a lot more tougher from here on out.

Second was because this chapter was so difficult to write. Not only was it ambitious to write, but it got longer and longer than I originally planned. I was NOT expecting this to be over 14K words long! This is my longest chapter to date. As for its difficulty, the diary sequences were what made writing this challenging. I took some inspirations from chapter 23 of Total Drama Raptured, written by the one and only Rufus T. Serenity with a similar premise to help me. And BTW, I never intended for the fight between Gwen and Cody to escalate to that level! Even I'm surprised by what I wrote.

Lastly, I've been planning a new fanfiction story for a while. I mentioned in my previous authour notes on how I wanna go into writing Loud House stories because I'm a huge fan of said cartoon. I just needed to find some inspiration. But I finally did, and now I'm working on a new Loud House story. When will it get published? Once I finished my third chapter for it. I usually publish three chapters at the start with a new story. I'm not going to say what it's all about, but it's more humorous and less romantic than any of my previous stories.

And I think that's it. I'm not sure if I'll get the next chapter done before the end of New Year, so just in case, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Kwanza, and an amazing New Year. Thank you so much for making this story the eighth most favourited and SECOND most followed story on this site. Second most followed? Holy Smokes! TD: CR is followed more than Total Drama Battlegrounds! Who would've though THAT?!

Still, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Favourite, Follow, Review, and I'll see you all in 2019.