"She loves me."

A soft, velvety, crimson red petal fluttered down onto the wooden desk.

"She loves me not."

Another petal fluttered down, overlapping with the first petal. In his morose at the thought of his Lady Love not loving him, Adrien couldn't help but think the petals look like two splodges of blood.

"She loves me."

He plucked another petal off carefully.

"She loves me not."

He may have plucked that one off a little too viciously.

"She loves me."

He smiled dopily at that.

"She loves me not."

He frowned miserably at that one.

"She loves me." He dropped the petal down onto the desk and reached to pluck another one only to find himself holding nothing but a stem as he had decimated the rose's beauty. "She loves me!" Adrien repeated ecstatically as he chucked the stem down onto the ground. He hastily scrambled for the last petal and plucked it up quickly. "Plagg!" he cried out as he waved the petal in the air gleefully. "Plagg! She loves me! Ladybug loves me!"

"Pfft!" Plagg snorted. "Yeah, all right," he drawled out in a bored tone, "if you say so."

"I do!" Adrien insisted as he waved the petal firmly in the air. "The rose said so. Its fate that the last petal of the ultimate flower of romance says she loves me."

"Sure thing, Kid," Plagg said patronisingly, "just like it was fate that the last petal of the rose before said that she doesn't love you."

Adrien paled at that. "You're right," he mumbled, "and so far the roses have been fifty/fifty…..I should do another one."

Plagg's eyes flickered to the disturbingly growing pile of bare stems that gathered round Adrien's feet and then they drifted to the gigantic pile of red petals that were building up on Adrien's desk.

Soon enough the computer and Adrien was going to vanish entirely beneath dead stems and plucked petals.

"Oh for the love of-!" Plagg cut himself off abruptly as he tried to be patient, and nurturing, and compassionate as Tiki, "Kid, give it a rest," okay, he threw that idea out of the window almost as immediately as he thought of it. Tiki can be the patient, nurturing, compassionate one, he was the snarky, sarcastic, cool one. "If you keep this up Paris will run out of flowers and there will be a mob of soppy, doomed, lovers out there for your blood."

"But Plagg!" Adrien whined childishly. "I need to know if she loves me!"

"Then ask her!" Plagg snapped impatiently. "It's a freaking flower not a fortunate telling crystal ball. It doesn't know squat! Now give it a rest. You're driving me demented."

"…..she loves me," Adrien murmured as he plucked another petal off another rose, "she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me…."

"Urgh!" Plagg groaned disgustedly. "I wish Tiki was here," he muttered darkly to himself. "She can deal with this revolting, sappy, nonsense…..why do I always get the lovesick melodramatic ones?"

MLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLB

Meanwhile on the other side of town a large pile of bright, multi-coloured, petals gathered on the floor of Marinette Dupain-Cheng's balcony.

"He loves me."

A vivid pink petal fluttered to the ground.

"He loves me not."

Another one joined it sadly.

"He loves me."

Marinette carefully plucked the petal and treasured it for moment before she let it drop to the floor with the others.

"He loves me not."

She yanked that petal off and barely glanced at it as she threw it to the floor.

"He loves me."

She beamed radiantly at that.

"He loves me not."

Her smile fell at the thought of that.

"He loves me." Marinette dropped the petal and as she reached to pluck another she found herself gazing blankly at the bare stem in her hand. "He loves me!" she repeated ecstatically. "Tiki! Tiki! Tiki!" she wiggled and squirmed excitedly as she waved the stem in the air. "He loves me! Adrien loves me!"

"Oh how wonderful!" Tiki enthused. "I'm so happy for you!"

"…but," Marinette nibbled her bottom lip anxiously, "a lot of the other flowers said he doesn't love me…. I think I need another flower!"

"Marinette!" Tiki chided. "You've almost picked all of your mother's flowers. There's virtually nothing left. Your mother is not going to be impressed with you if you demolish all of them so I think you should-"

"He loves me," Marinette murmured as she picked a bright yellow petal from the nearest flower box. "He loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me…"

Tiki sighed heavily to herself as she floated away to her cookie stash to indulge in. She wished Plagg was here so he could see that he wasn't the only one that had to deal with lovelorn drama queens….