The world has changed but he has not

The phone rang for minutes, it took her a while to answer. I nervously drummed with my fingers against the surface of the table.

'C'mon, pick it up.' I murmured to myself. Finally, I hear the familiar 'click' - indicating that someone had picked up the phone.

'It's fuckin' two in the morning' Jo's voice growled at the other end of the line 'It better be a goddamn, fucking emergency or I assure you you'll regret the day you were born.'

'Always a charm to speak to.' I snorted.

'You're charming enough for the both of us.' I could hear her muffling a yawn. 'What d'you want, Haymitch? It's rude to call people up at this unholy hour of the night. Hasn't the bitch taught you some good manners?'

'Watch the language! That bitch is my...' nowadays I tend to be overprotective over her than ever before.

'Your... what exactly? Fuck toy? Maiden?' I clutched my free hand and took a deep breath. I didn't answer for minutes 'Thanks for the chat, Haymitch, I'm gonna go back to sleep if you've nothing to say. 'Night. Next time you wanna chat, call when the sun is up.'

'She's pregnant.' I said silently - I'm afraid to utter the words loud yet. My announcement is welcomed by silence.

'Congratulations.' Jo said after minutes of not saying anything.

'That's all you have to say...?'

'What did you expect? Shoulda put a condom on that majestic dick of yours to prevent this kind of stuff then. You don't expect me to pop a champagne in the dead of the night, do you?'

'It's not a joke, Jo.' although I know she didn't mean it as one. I can hear it in her voice that she's unsure what to say or how to react. She's not alone with the feeling...

'I know...But...we both know that's something she has been longing for...for a very long time now, Haymitch.' her voice is surprisingly low and almost soft 'She wanted it so bad, she told Annie, and she even told me. You should see her with Finn and you would understand how deeply she wishes to be a mother.'

'She is a mother. She has Katniss and Peeta to baby.' I sigh.

'Katniss and babying, sure!' Jo snorts 'It's not the same for her. She wants her own child.'

'But why, Jo? You don't bring an innocent life to the world of ours. It's a hell, it's crazy, it's unsafe. You know it as much as I do.'

'It's different now…at least that is what she says. I don't know, I don't understand her, but her reality is different from ours.' that I have noticed a very long time ago. Effie seemed to live in a totally different world than us. Even now after the war, after all those things she had been through, she still tries to be as positive as she can be.

'I've never wanted it. Kids.' I admitted.

'Then you should've let her go years ago. In that very moment when she first talked about having a baby. But you were jealous of the thought of someone else is being with her. Someone who is not you.' her voice was cold as ice - as always when she knew she was right and said nothing but the truth 'You two were never a match. She needs love, she needs to feel loved, and you can't do that, you can love but you can't show it. You can't, I can't, Katniss can't. We are broken beyond repair but Effie is like Peeta. Love can heal her. Love can keep her alive. Been there, seen that what her beliefs in love can do to her. Hell, her love for you kept her alive in that fucking cell. And if her own child loved her unconditionally and trusted her, she knows she would do something good, a little payback for those awful things she had done before you opened up her eyes. Because her own child would not see her as a killer like rest of Panem does.'

'Killers don't have children.' I say, totally ignoring Jo's speech.

'You are not a killer. She...it's different...but...our world has changed.'

'The world might have, but I have not.'

'You have. And...I can't believe it's me who says it but...Victors' kids are not in grave danger anymore. That kid will never end up in an arena, that kid will never know hunger, that kid will never know to be afraid of loving someone. Thanks to you.'

'When did you become so wise?' I ask. My voice is mocking, I know it but can't help it. Jo sounds honest and not sarcastic or disgusted.

'If you lived long enough with Annie, you would be, too. Don't fuck this one up, Haymtich. You've let her down for far too many times.'

'I'll keep it in mind. Thanks, Jo!' we say our goodbyes and I hung up the phone. I sigh and headed upstairs. Before I got back to our bed, I watched Effie's seemingly peaceful sleep. She's on her back, her hair is everywhere on the pillow. Her hand was on her stomach. Jo was right; I've let her down too many times. I wasn't able to protect. Will I be able to protect her child?