A/N: Wanted to practice writing them again, even though I have dozens of drafts I'll likely never finish. Thought it'd be fun to explore what could have happened if RM had not been interrupted in the kitchen in 2x18.
His hand touches hers slowly, and she feels her breath run short. He doesn't pull away, doesn't apologize and pretend like it didn't happen. The touch is so soft, she'd almost swear she didn't feel anything were it not for the way her body responds to his. She's always been hyper aware of the effect he has on her.
Marissa's eyes meet his, her breath coming back to her. By the time she leans closer to him, he's meeting her in the middle, his hand coming to sit by her hip. When their lips finally touch, it's familiar and all the trappings of last year. But there's something else there, a new component that's even more exciting and right than it's ever been.
She kisses him softly, moving a hand to his jaw and tracing it lightly with her fingertips. It's been months since they've done this.
Ryan's the one who pulls away first, catching his breath, and she tries not to suppress a giggle.
He gives her a look and she smiles.
"Haven't done that in a while," she says, tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear.
"Yeah."
He looks at his feet for a good ten seconds before going back to the bowl of cereal he was making her. The silence that follows is tense, but tense in a familiar way. Everything with them has become familiar.
She accepts the bowl of cereal from his hand and tries not to smile at the restraint showing on his face. It's clear he doesn't know what to say or do.
"Make one for yourself," she says, going to the table.
"Right, yeah. Yeah," he mumbles, and this time she does let out a laugh.
He looks over at her.
"Relax, Ryan."
By the time he gets his own cereal made and sits next to her, she's looking at him peculiarly.
"Have you talked to Lindsay lately?" she asks casually, or at least as casually as she can muster.
This makes him look up at her. "No. Have you talked to Alex?"
"Not really. She's back home."
He nods, and she can't figure him out.
Marissa finds his nervousness kind of cute. "Are you okay?"
The way he looks over at her feels different.
"Yeah."
"You know," she says between spoonfuls of cheerios, "It doesn't have to mean anything."
"That's not what-"
"It's not exactly the first time that's happened."
He nods before she notices a far away look on his face.
"Some of us are up early I see," Seth says as he walks into the kitchen in his robe.
"Why are you up anyway?" Ryan asks, and Marissa notes that he's found his voice again.
Seth gives the two a knowing look. "Oh, you know, Newpsie functions demand my presence and so on."
"Right. Well, I'll be in the poolhouse," she announces, putting her empty bowl in the sink. She doesn't notice the look Seth gives Ryan or the distinct look that Ryan gives her, but she feels his eyes on her as she walks away.
.
"Something totally happened," Summer says as she walks into the poolhouse. Marissa's on the bed leafing through a magazine with her toes drying over the edge.
"Huh?"
"With you and Chino."
Marissa scoffs. "Yeah, right."
"Coop-"
"Wouldn't I tell you if something happened?" Marissa offers.
Summer crosses the threshold and assesses Marissa's ensemble. Fresh blue polish on her toes, barely there mini skirt, hair tousled in just the right way. "I'm not sure you would."
The blonde laughs. "The boys will be back soon. I was thinking the diner. Milkshakes, burgers, et cetera."
"You still haven't answered my question."
"Technically it wasn't a question."
"Coop-"
"It was nothing."
.
As usual, Seth and Summer dominate most of the discussion at the diner, making it easy for Marissa and Ryan to stray from uncomfortable topics.
Marissa brings up their English assignment on "Howl" and gushes about Ginsberg with Seth as Summer takes ten whole minutes trying to decide what she wants to order.
"And of course you end up with the same old burger and shake. You know-"
"Shut it, Cohen. Who wants a rendition of your forty minute decision-making at that bookstore in LA?"
Seth turns toward his girlfriend. "It's a bookstore. You're supposed to spend a lot of time there."
"Yeah, and cost us $25 in parking," Summer counters.
Marissa turns toward Ryan with a smile and he returns it. She senses the conversation between their friends taking a while, so she nudges his foot. "Hey- can I talk to you outside?"
He agrees and they get up, leaving their friends to their argument. They walk past the fishermen and find an empty spot on the pier. She's aware of the distance between them, and find that his eyes are already on her when she looks up at him.
"We can pretend it didn't happen-"
"Sorry I've been weird."
They speak at the same time and smile softly. He gestures for her to continue.
"I just mean- if you want to-"
"I don't," Ryan says. "I was just remembering stuff and- and regretting some things I've said. Done even."
She looks at him with confusion, her brow furrowed.
"I said stuff to you that night at the Bait Shop and I didn't mean it."
"Oh," she remembers. "Right."
That night has become harder to remember. She remembers his words, though. Piercing and cold. The way he looked at her, eyes hard.
"And I didn't mean it. Any of it. And I never apologized the way I should have. So, you know, I'm, uh, sorry." He says it as he looks out at the water, eyes afraid to meet hers.
Marissa looks at his profile, thinking to herself that after all they've been through he's still the shy boy she met when they were sixteen. What's between them now feels different than before, like maybe they've grown up in the months they've spent apart.
"Ryan, it's okay."
"It's not. Just- after this past summer and everything with Theresa, it felt like distance was," he looks up at her, "something we-"
"Something we needed," she finishes for him.
He lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and turns to face her, hair blowing in the breeze and eyes bluer than the ocean. Ryan steps closer to her, their breaths falling in sync. God, being this close to her has always been exhilarating. It makes the hair on his arms tingle and his heart beat fast.
Marissa gives him a small grin, remembers a moment like this nearly a year ago. The look he gives her is so charged that she almost flushes, hand sweaty against the pier railing.
When her lips meet his, she feels his hands on her hips, pulling her closer to him. She lets out a small whimper, meeting his fervor. Kissing is something they've always been good at, their mouths in sync with each other's, their breaths becoming one. Marissa's hand touches his chest, her tongue remembering his.
It feels like a long time coming, and when they part to catch their breaths, the look they share conveys what they can't into words.
Marissa looks back to the diner in time for Summer and Seth to avert their gaze, and she rolls her eyes at them. Ryan narrows his eyes toward them with her in unison, and she laughs.
"This is not their doing, I will not give them credit," she says.
He nods. "Especially Seth."
She grabs his hand as they head back into the diner, and he smiles at the gesture. He squeezes her hand back, threads their fingers together, and she feels at ease for the first time in a while.
.fin.