Summary: Kid gets a present for his birthday from his father, but it's the most asymmetrical thing Kid has ever seen. To not hurt his father's feelings, Kid has to put up with it, but how long will he last?

A/N: I got this idea from a soul eater prompt, but I can't refind it. I don't own soul eater or any of its characters. Hopefully they're in character, I've never written a soul eater fanfiction before. Constructive criticism is welcomed. Also, I love reveiws, but you don't have to if you don't want to.

"Father, why did you call me here?" Kid asked. He was in the mirror room with Lord Death and Spirit.

"As you know, sixteen years ago today is when I used a part of my soul to create you," Lord Death said. "So today is your birthday!"

"Since when did you celebrate birthdays?" Kid asked.

"Since I told him how happy it made Maka before she hated me," Spirit said.

"Of course," Kid mumbled under his breath.

"Anyways, along with birthdays comes presents!" Lord Death exclaimed excitedly.

"Honestly Father, I don't need a special day just to get a present," Kid said.

"Oh, but Kiddo, I know you'll absolutely love this! I did research for three months to come up with the perfect gift for you. Then it took five months to actually get it," Lord Death explained.

"It took you eight months to get me a present?" Kid asked skeptically.

"It actually did," Spirit confirmed. That grabbed Kid's attention. Spirit probably won't of agreed unless Lord Death really did spent that long getting the most perfect gift.

"I sent army after army," Lord Death continued, "They all came back empty handed. I was about to give up, but I knew how much you would love the present! The image of your smiling face gave me endless hope! I know we've been drifting apart lately, with you always hanging out with your friends and all, but I know that this present will prove that I know my son better than anyone. It will show my everlasting love for you!"

Kid was genuinely excited for what his father was going to give him. He had no idea what it might be, but then again Kid used to not know what a skateboard was until his dad gave him a flying one, which is now one of his favorite things, so Lord Death's present might be even better. "What did you get me?" He asked, not really hiding his anticipation and excitement.

"I got you…" Lord Death said dramatically. He turned around, towards the mirror, then turned back with a glass bowl in his giant white hands. "THIS!"

Inside the bowl was a beautiful fish with thousands of scales all shining. It was mostly gold colored but had silvery spots randomly flaked all over. On the right side, the silver spots were much bigger than on the left, but besides that, no spot size was defined. They all varied. The fish also had a black diagonal stripe going across its back. It started on the left side, very thin and close to the middle, then moved to the right gaining thickness with no consistency and it wrapped around to a little over halfway through the fish's right side. The right eye of the fish was pure blue with a scratch going down slightly off the middle while the second eye was green with brown spots. The left fin was also substantially larger than the right and seemed to have a different shape from the right as well.

Kid looked at the fish in awe. Not a single molecule on the animal was symmetrical.

"Wow, look how amazed he is!" Spirit said.

"Indeed," Lord Death replied to his death scythe. "And Kid, with this fish, I wish you the happiest of birthdays! It will show my undying love for my little Kiddo!" Lord Death plopped the glass in Kid's hands.

Kid stopped looking at the fish in horror and disgust. He looked up at his father and could tell how proud he was of his gift and how much he loved him even through the mask. Kid put on the most forced smile he's ever made in his life. "Thank you, Dad. I love it," Kid lied, trying his best to sound happy and genuine, but failing miserably.

Lord Death didn't seem to notice. "I love you too Kiddo! Take good care of it now, and I bet your little weapon partners would absolutely love to see it too!"

Kid looked back down at the gift and gagged at the pure asymmetry that it embodied. He looked back at Lord Death and fake smiled again. "Yep. I'll show them right now," Kid said, quite obviously about to throw up at the sight of the fish. Still, Lord Death and Spirit seemed oblivious.

"I'm so glad you like it!" Lord Death beamed.

"Yes. It is," Kid shuttered at the pure lie he was about to spew, "truly beautiful. Now if you excuse me, Liz and Patty shouldn't be left without seeing this… thing… much longer. Thank you, Father, and good bye."

"Bye bye Kiddo!" Lord Death called out as Kid trudged out of the room, sickened by the sheer sight of the creature devoid of all symmetry.

After they were certain that Kid was a good distance away, Spirit's smile disappeared and he turned to Lord Death. "Don't you think it's a bit much?" he asked.

"No," Lord Death said. "If anything it's not enough. He has to get over this silly obsession sooner or later, and I prefer sooner. Once he takes my place as Lord Death, he can't be foiled by toilet paper that he didn't fold correctly."

"Well, yeah, but lying to him?"

"It's for his own good Spirit."

~~~~~~~~~~~0~~~~~~~~~~~

Kid was flying on his skateboard as fast as he could without losing any water from the bowl. The bowl itself was perfectly symmetrical, which made the creature inside even more insulting. It even being in Kid's hands made him feel dirty and even worse garbage than he usually felt. Staring at the fish, he got reminded of his asymmetrically unfinished lines of Sanzu, but he didn't care. The horrendous disgrace to existence made everything else seem perfect in comparison.

By the time he arrived at the mansion, he was basically hyperventilating. Kid put the fish on the floor next to him, happy to get it out of his grasps, then opened the door. Inside, Liz and Patty were sitting on two chairs, one reading a magazine, the other coloring a picture horribly. They both looked up at the sound of the door opening. Kid was paler than usual, which made his skin almost pure white, and the weapons could feel the distress in his soul.

"Are you okay?" Liz asked.

"I hate birthdays," Kid said. They could hear that he was probably on the verge of a panic attack.

Patty started laughing as Liz sighed and put her magazine down.

She walked over to Kid. "What is it?" Kid pointed at the bowl without looking at it. Liz looked at it in disappointment then looked back at her meister. "A fish?"

"Liz, you don't understand! The asymmetry!" Kid yelled. He looked like he was going to cry.

"Here we go again~," Patty said sing-songy. She was still coloring the picture horribly.

"If you hate it so much, why don't you get rid of it?" Liz asked. She was getting annoyed at her meister's neurotic tendencies.

"Father would be so heart broken if I do. He was so happy to give it to me," Kid mumbled.

"Guess we just have to wait for it to die," Patty said.

"How long is its lifespan?" Liz asked. She wanted to know how long Kid would complain about it for.

"I don't know," Kid whimpered.

Patty was suddenly next to them. "We should ask Lord Death," She said and gave a mirror to her sister.

"Um, thanks," Liz said, but the fish caught Patty's eyes. She ran over and started staring at it intensely with a wide smile and wider eyes.

"Soooooooooooooo shiny," Patty said.

Liz rolled her eyes and breathed hot air on the mirror, fogging it up. She wrote 42-42-564 on the fog and Lord Death's face appeared. "Did Kid show you his present?" he immediately asked.

"Um, yeah. He really h-" Liz was saying but Kid was frantically shaking his head 'no' then put his shaking hands into a heart shape. "He really loves it," Liz corrected.

"I know! It's great, isn't it?" Lord Death beamed.

"Yup. Anyways, we were wondering how long it's life span is. Patty has never dealt with her animals dying before, so I want to know when I have to tell her," Liz lied.

"Oh, well it's a symbol of my undying love for Kiddo, so it's completely immortal," Lord Death said.

"No," Kid screamed, but then quickly bit his tongue. Lord Death seemed not to hear him.

"Oh, it is?" Liz asked. She actually kind of dreaded that. An eternity of Kid's complaining was not very ideal.

"Indeed. That's why it took so long to get. It doesn't even need water, it just prefers it because it can move," Lord Death explained.

"That's lovely," Liz said sarcastically.

"Isn't it?" Lord Death said cheerfully. "I have to go, tell Kiddo I said 'Hi'. And by the way, I think it would look the absolute best in the front room." Then Lord Death hung up.

"Immortal asymmetry," Kid mumbled as tears rolled down his face.

"Don't be so dramatic Kid. Look at how shiny it is!" Patty exclaimed and ran inside with the fish.

"I hate my life," Kid mumbled quieter than before.

"I hate my life too," Liz mumbled too and dragged Kid inside their house.