The Storm Behind the Calm

Percy was still leaning against the railing when Annabeth finally left to go to bed.

At least we'll be in actual beds, Annabeth lightly said, her smile nonexistent nor reaching her eyes. You know, with pillows and blankets and mattresses.

She planted a soft kiss on Percy's cheek before walking away, leaving Percy alone with just his thoughts.

Percy sighed. He didn't want Annabeth to leave, but he knew that she needed the rest almost as much as he did. But he didn't want to fall asleep. He couldn't. Percy thought that if he even closed his eyes for a split second, then he'll be in that place again. As if he never truly left. And he just couldn't.

He didn't want to see the Phlegethon River, he didn't want to see the arai, or the creatures of the dark. And he definitely didn't want to see Bob or Damasen, as much as it pains him to think about them. He never really got the chance to think about what had happened down there before, but now that he does…

With each passing second, memories flooded his head and no matter what, Percy couldn't stop the images from playing out in his mind: Percy fighting of the aria, Percy convincing Bob to kill his brother, Percy bloodbending Akhlys to make her feel his misery just as she had done to Percy and Annabeth-

Percy took a shuddering breath, stepping back from the rail, afraid that if he didn't then he would fall right through it at any given moment. He looked around to see if anyone else had saw his little incident, but then realized that it was still him up on the deck.

Percy placed his hand over his racing heart, willing it to slow down and not jump out of his chest. He closed his eyes and took slow, deep breaths until his heart slowed down to a normal pace. Percy opened his eyes and looked up to the stars above him, shame and guilt finally beginning to make an appearance, just threatening to crush him with the weight of it.

"I'm sorry," he whispered brokenly. He felt tears welling up but he pushed them back, refusing to let any of them escape. He wasn't sure what he was for exactly: for not saving Bob and Damasen, for not coming up with another plan one where everyone got out and not just Percy and Annabeth…

Percy felt himself go pale. "Oh gods." He widened his eyes, the realization of what he's done hitting him in full force. He couldn't be outside anymore. He turned and ran all the way to his room, trying not to make any noise while sprinting as fast as he could.

When he got to his room, Percy started pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair, guilt piercing him like a knife in his heart. The extent of his shame was something else entirely.

Throughout his short, miserable life, Percy never once thought how his powers could be anything but good; not using them to hurt people. Yes, he used his powers to help fight, but to use them on another person? Much less a goddess? And it wasn't even water. That's what's getting to Percy. When he manipulated the poison to where it was going back to Akhlys, something in him had snap. That was the moment where Percy knew he could be a very dangerous person if something should happen. Percy shuddered at the thought of all that power he could have. The damage he could cause.

The very thought sickened him. Whatever happened to the happy-go-lucky Percy that he used to be? Percy gave out a clipped laugh. That's right, he bitterly thought. I never was a happy-go-lucky guy.

Percy stopped short. No, that wasn't true. He was a happy person before he found out that he was a demigod. Hades, he was a lot happier before Gabe came into his life. Percy clenched his fists. Of course, it was all Gabe's fault. Percy found the source of his problems: Gabe Ugliano.

Percy hated that man with a passion so strong, it felt like it could burst out at any moment. That man had ruined his life. He ruined his mom's life by marrying her. Percy steamed at the thought of Gabe hitting his mom all those years ago when Percy was away at school. His blood still boiled about the incident to this day. And when Gabe started to abuse Percy…

Percy could vividly remember the times Gabe would beat him to a pulp and Percy would hide his bruises from his mother so she wouldn't worry. Then before he left for school, Percy would put his mother's makeup on his injuries so the other kids, and most of his teachers, would stare and ask him questions. He hated getting sympathy looks from people. In fact, he hated when people would stare at him like he was some sort of freak of nature. It wasn't as if they could do anything about it, and even if they could, would they? No, it's better not to get anyone involve with his problems. Percy's problems were his own burden to bear.

Percy sat down on the edge of his bed, taking Riptide out of his pocket and fiddling with it, his mind whirling with thoughts. As the years passed, Percy pushed all his anger down and pretended that nothing was wrong with his life and that he was a jokester who goofed around with his friends. He never truly understood how angry he really was-until now. He wasn't sure if he really wanted to know. Percy was scared that his friends would see him for what he truly is.

The longer Percy stared at his pen, the angrier he got. He was at the Fates, the gods, everything…including himself. Percy pushed himself to his feet and before he could even think, his lamp was on the ground, the bulb smashed to smithereens. He glared at it for a moment before all Hades broke loose.

He tore his room apart, throwing anything that he could get his hands on. His mind was blank as he trashed his room; the only thing Percy could focus on at the moment was the anger.

It went on for about five minutes before Percy finally broke. He went down to his knees, closing his eyes. Then, something in him snapped. Percy let out a broken yell, oblivious to the fact that he had tears streaming down his eyes. Percy kept screaming and sobbing until his head was touching the ground. He was unaware of someone entering his room and kneeling next to him, placing a gentle hand on his back.

"I'm sorry," Percy whispered. He wasn't sure if he was apologizing to the person beside him or to himself. In fact, Percy wasn't sure what he was apologizing for. For waking the person up, for trashing his room, for having the person witness Percy's breakdown. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

Percy had stopped screaming and resorted to sobbing his heart out. He felt the person rubbing circles on his back, whispering comforting words to him. Percy was in a daze that, at first, he didn't understand what they were saying but soon enough, he could make out some words here and there. "Shh, it's okay…okay, Perce. You're…heck of a day, huh?"

Percy had very slowly reduced his sobbing down to a few sniffles. He slowly lifted his head to meet the eyes of someone that he wasn't exactly expecting.

The one and only Piper McLean.

Piper gave Percy a sad smile, still rubbing circles on his back. Percy looked at her with wide, watery eyes, ashamed that he woke her up with his tantrum and confused as to why Piper was here and not Annabeth. Not that there was anything wrong with Piper being with him, but Percy just wanted to know why.

"I heard you throwing your stuff across the room and figured that you wanted Annabeth," Piper explained, as if she read Percy's mind. "I got to Annabeth's room and saw that she was having a nightmare of her own. So, I calmed her down and she went back to sleep. I didn't have the heart to tell her about your…situation. I thought that you would want her to get as much sleep as she could," she added before Percy could protest.

Percy nodded in understanding. If Annabeth was finally getting some rest, he'd want her to get some. But the selfish part of him wanted her to be with him.

"And I saw the others coming out of their rooms," Piper continued. "So, I told them that I would take care of it."

"How much of it did you see?" Percy croaked, his voice hoarse from all the screaming and crying that he did.

"Not much." Piper quickly answered. Percy knew that she was lying, but he was too drained to push her.

Percy sighed and sniffled. "I'm sorry for waking you up."

Piper shook her head. "Don't be. To be honest, I couldn't sleep. I just kept turning in my bed, thinking about everything's that has happened today and the last few days. Along with worrying about you and Annabeth, Leo has been acting weird lately and I don't know why. Of course, he always acts weird, so I guess it's normal for him, but it's more of an I-met-someone-then-lost-them-in-the-same-day weird…"

Percy was grateful for Piper's rambling. Her talking kept Percy from thinking about his anger. She didn't ask him what was bothering him or what had happened and Percy appreciated that. But at the same time, Percy felt like he might explode if he didn't say anything soon.

"I did something horrible," Percy quietly confessed, when Piper had stopped talking after a few minutes. "When we were…down in Tar-that place." Percy hesitated.

Piper gently squeezed his shoulder. "Take your time," she patiently said.

Percy swallowed. "Annabeth and I-when we were down there, I…I tortured a goddess." And thus, Percy began explaining to Piper about how he manipulated the poison Akhlys threw at them and how Percy basically bloodbended to get her to feel his pain. He then went on to describe how he used to have a step-father named Gabe Ugliano and how he abused Percy and his mother for years. Piper listened patiently to his stuttering, never interrupting him or rushing him, just…being there for him.

When Percy was done, Piper kept silent for a couple of moments. She was just sitting next to Percy, rubbing his back, when she softly started to hum. Percy didn't recognize the tune, but it helped him relax.

When Piper finished her song, Percy's eyes were growing heavy.

"C'mon," she quietly persuaded. "Let's get you to bed."

She helped him up to his feet and made their way to Percy's bed. Percy reluctantly climbed into it, but after he was leaning on his pillow, he didn't close his eyes. He didn't want to dream about-

"Don't worry," Piper reassured him, seeing his expression. "I'll make sure you won't have any nightmares."

Piper sat down on the floor, ignoring the glass that was from his broken lamp. Percy relaxed slightly, trusting her to keep her promise.

"Who do you miss the most, Percy?" Piper suddenly asked before Percy's thoughts could go down a dark path.

"Um, my mom," he softly replied, yawning.

Piper nodded. "I miss my dad."

Percy slowly blinked, his mind trying to connect the dots. He wondered why Piper's last name sounded familiar… "Your dad's Tristan McLean?"

Piper chuckled. "I didn't think you'd be the one to watch movies."

"I do too!" Percy half-heartedly protested. He felt a small smile form on his lips. "You know, before I found out I was a demigod." Percy pondered for a moment. "Besides, in my opinion, I don't think your dad portrayed Hercules right."

Percy heard Piper's scoff. "Well, what were you expecting? Disney's Hercules?"

Percy shook his head on his pillow, closing his eyes. "No, that movie was a mistake with catchy songs."

Piper softly laughed. "You're not wrong."

Percy sighed, his smile still on his lips. "Thank you," he softly whispered.

"For what?" Piper asked just as softly.

"For not thinking that I was a monster," Percy quietly replied.

"That's because you're not," Piper firmly stated. "You, Percy Jackson, are just a guy who's had a lot of crap thrown his way since…forever. I mean, in all honesty, I think we've all got a monster inside of us. We just have to choose whether or not to show it to the world. Be better people."

Percy nodded, his body releasing the rest of the tension in his body, relaxing into his soft mattress. He knew that the peace wouldn't last forever, but now…now he was just worried about getting through the night. After Piper's little speech, Percy wasn't worried about his friends seeing him as a monster-Piper was living proof of that.

Besides, Percy thought as his body began to shut down for the night with Piper by his side. It's just like what Piper said: Everyone has a monster inside of them.

And it's true. Everyone has a monster inside of them. Anyone can turn into a monster. But not everyone can choose not to.

It's as the saying goes: the calm before the storm. But with Percy's case, it should really be: the storm behind the calm.