Indecision was my decision

i dont own PJO or HOO

Based in a true story...up to you to discern what is true and what is fantasy.

Percy pov

I sank to my knees as the light faded from my eyes; Tartarus laughing in the background. It didn't matter much to me. Dying was a pleasure I hadn't earned until this moment.

A single spotlight shined on top of my head as I died slowly. The only thing I could do was watch my life wash away…painfully slowly. I knew I was done for since the moment we parted ways. I knew it, yet I couldn't do anything to stop her. Why did she did it anyway?

I was always so sweet, so caring, spending sleepless night listening to her worries until she was ready to say good night. Even when the nightmares of the pit plagued me, I still was there. I was always at her deck and call. Maybe that was my mistake. She was already gone, anyway.

At some point I became dependent of her as my partner. I thought I would always be able to relay on her. Now I had no one but myself to believe in.

I had made the wrong choice. To be honest, I always knew this would turn out like it did. Everyone had told me so. Nevertheless, I still had a glimmer of hope…until she became a goddess I would never be able to reach. I somehow made myself believe she would turn it down for me.

Three new spotlights shinned before me. Even through my teary eyes, I could see the woman I once loved and a man, who I considered my friend, cuddling lovely in a comfy couch. For anyone, it would have been heartwarming, but the only thing I wished was burn the image down. I could not complain; he was a wonderful man completely worthy of her. Something my bloodstained hands couldn't achieve.

I was a fool to believe she was within my grasp. However, reality was fast to kick down my daydreamer self. I knew she was gone since the moment I rejected to join the council with all my strength. Artemis was just a mere memory in my mind, an old flame as some say, or as others may say, a nightmare I would not be able to forget.

Next to them, there was a lone girl with an awkward smile not really knowing what she was supposed to do. I could not describe her other than the sister of a friend that I had gotten to like. Our first meeting had been rough and her brother had not make it easy for either of us. To be honest, she hated me at the beginning.

However, circumstances pushed us closer. I did not know what to do with our relationship. What were we, anyway? Did I like her? Did she like me? Were we more than friends? Many would say we were dating, but we were just that close. She was absolutely gorgeous in my eyes, but I never had the guts to say it to her…especially not with Artemis around.

I believed she would wait for me the time I needed, but I didn't really deserve that. I was technically leading her on while I kept my back turned to her. Huh what an asshole.

Bianca was perfect in my opinion, but something always stopped me from going for the kill. Now I know that what was stopping me was nothing more than fear. It didn't matter anymore. I was death. I had chosen the wrong woman to wag my tail at. Would she miss me? Maybe, but I knew I didn't deserve it. I was scum for even considering her at this point. Why didn't I do this before I screwed up? I'm sorry Bianca, I won't be able to eat lunch with you next week.

Lastly but not least, in the last spotlight, a bright young girl that was braiding her hair like it was nobody's business but hers. I never believed she would be part of my life. She was younger than I was by far but if I didn't knew better, I would guess she was older than I was.

Don't get me wrong, Selina was petit and cute, but she acted like the adult I should act as. She was stubborn, funny, mischievous, but overall she wouldn't let anyone get in her way. My prowess and easy going aura had attracted her curiosity and had developed a liking to me. We were good friends, but never close enough to get to know each other. What I liked the most out of her was the fact that she was an independent woman, ready to dispose of anything, or anyone, which would get in her way. I'm sorry Selina, I won't be able to keep my promise anymore.

She knew that I liked Artemis, but would rather stay quiet about it. Apparently I was bad at hiding it. She didn't hold it against me for not looking at her like I should have. I was not a perfect being capable of not making mistakes. I wish I would have discovered how wonderful she was sooner. I will miss your glorious hair, Bianca. I hope you keep taking care of it.

I knew my life was coming to an end and I hated the fact that only those four would plague my mind in my death bed. If I had to redo my life once again, I wouldn't change my choices. Even if it wasn't acceptable, I loved the three of them. I, myself, wasn't too sure about the veracity of my own feelings, but I wanted to believe that it was true.

Who said we were only capable of loving one person. However, I knew deep down that those were the thought of an egotistical indecisive bastard. I'm sorry guys.

I can't say I died without regrets, because my life was made up of regrets. Nevertheless, I somehow still wanted to be there for them, to protect them. To gruesomely torture the bastard if he ever hurt Artemis more than she needed. To stand beside Bianca and show her that the world was beautiful and that the only thing she should be ashamed of is shame itself. To watch Selina rise up above in her journey to reach the skies, high above than those pesky gods.

Each of them had taken a part of me and now it was their duty to carry on with the life I couldn't live.

I somehow felt that my feet were extremely cold. My vision was becoming blurrier by the second. I couldn't hear my killer's laughter anymore. My body felt light as if I wasn't carrying my own weight anymore. I was at the brink of death.

I looked up to the crimson sky…it was so beautiful…if only I could touch it. If only…

3rd pov

The gods and demigods watched through an Iris message as their chosen hero died at the hands of the enemy. The war had already been won by no other than Percy himself. Weeks earlier Percy had proposed himself to pluck the bud from the roots. He ran away in the middle of the night to carry a raid in the pit while the armies of monsters were still untrained and unprepared for anything like an attack.

No one was aware of this fact. Yet, three young women knew something was off in the middle of the night when they noticed the sea roar. Percy was always unconsciously keeping the sea in check to let others enjoy a safe day in the beach.

Artemis was training with her hunters deep in the forest when she felt a tug in her guts. It was as if the tides were calling for her. She wondered if this was Percy's doing. They had been close, close enough to consider him like the little brother she never had. Apollo was never the caring brother she wished for and Percy had been able to close that gap in her heart.

The weather grew worse to the point she had to dismiss the training. The strong winds were setting the arrows astray and her hunters couldn't aim anymore. Percy was the only one who could be responsible. The furious goddess teleported to the Poseidon cabin; prepared to scold the irresponsible son of Poseidon.

Bianca was reading a book on the top of branch of a tree close to the beach. She would rather be apart from the rest of the campers. After her brother had sacrificed himself to save her from the giant automaton, she couldn't find comfort in anything but reading old mystery and sci-fi novels her brother loved.

Percy had been there to console her, to accompany her when no one dared to approach her. It was something that made living in camp easier. She knew she had someone she could count on. However, Percy always seemed so busy lately; he barely said anything to her apart from the casual greeting. It didn't bother her superficially; she could carry with her normal day without problem. Still, as time flew, it was eating her inside out; the lack of attention was killing her. She still was human, she needed human contact.

Yet, she couldn't do anything. After all, he was busy with the war.

However, today, she could feel something was off the moment she laid her eyes in the sea. Percy loved the sea like he loved his mother; he would never let it be this restless.

Bianca jumped from the branch of the tree and set her path to the Poseidon cabin. She had to know what was going on with Percy. As the night fell, the sky grew cloudier and rain started to pour in the place where rain didn't fall.

Selina looked out of the window as the Centaurus ranted about safety measures and how no one could leave camp for the fifth time in a row. She wondered why Percy wasn't there to make some silly comment to lighten the mood. Everyone was tense and scared. Tartarus was a scary opponent. She also wondered if she could go to where Percy was and have some fun.

He never had let her down since she got to know him. It was kinda of amazing on its own that he didn't back up from his own promises. She missed the time when they would hang out and have fun, sometimes even making fool of themselves. He would just randomly show up when she was about to do something reckless and, instead of stopping her, he would join the party. Always keeping a protective wing around her in his own way.

She wanted to see Percy…she would see Percy. This stupid meeting wouldn't stop her.

She stood up from her sit and left the room silently; ignoring the protest from her teacher. When she was out of the Big House, she sprinted out all the way to Percy Jackson's cabin. Just to find other two women she knew very well.

The goddess and the two demigoddesses greeted each other. Artemis had invited them to the hunt before, but they had kindly decline for their own personal reasons. In the other hand, Artemis held both maidens in high regards; for their own prowess and their independent attitudes.

They agreed that Lady Artemis should be the first to talk to Percy. Yet, a reply from the other side never came. Worry and anxiety creeped up to the chest of the three beautiful ladies. Each one of them tried talking to Percy and knocking as hard as they could, but the hollow echo was their only answer.

In her frenzy, Selina claimed that she had official permission to enter the cabin whenever she liked. Something that made the other women strangely envious. However, their worry converted it into a fleeting thought. The goddess hurried the daughter of Aphrodite to open the door and check if Percy was okay.

However, when they opened the door, the cabin was void of its habitant.

In that instant, they knew something was wrong.

Not wasting a second, Artemis summoned a meeting and teleported, along with the two girls, to Olympus. Still, when the entire council was together, the only thing they could do was watch as Percy raged on the monster camp. By the time the rest of the camp had been informed of the desertion of Percy Jackson, he was already battling Tartarus, Primordial god of the Pit, single-handedly.

The viewers could only gasp as Percy's skills and will matched the power of the higher god. Yet, after an hour of intense fighting, both warriors were heavily wounded and breathing raggedly. They silently hoped that their hero would deal the final blow.

It never came.

Tartarus sword pierced Percy's torso after breaking Riptide in half. Percy Jackson was dead. Tartarus laughed maniacally; it was a mixture between a victorious cheer and a bitter laugh. In the end, he would still have to go back to sleep after wasting so much power.

The audience watched in silence as Percy sank to his knees, not uttering a single word. There was a peaceful expression of resignation in his face. He was prepared to die.

Artemis glared at the screen in silent rage at the screen. There were no tears in her eyes. Percy had always lived a dangerous life; a life without limits. Her boyfriend insisted that she should distance herself from him. He was a force of nature that couldn't be stopped by force. Those words rang in her ears. Percy had lived to his own accord until the end of his short life. Yet, as much as she wanted to deny it…there was heartache within her.

Bianca retreated from the room and looked for a small place where she could cry her heart out. She was strong and detached on the outside, but she wasn't even half of what she bluffed she was. There was no way he would just disappear to appear dead hours after. That wasn't his character. He was the hero who always came home no matter what.

She had to be strong on her own now. He was already dead; there was nothing she could do.

The most shocked out of the group was Selina. Her eyes were tricking her. He wasn't dead. He promised he wouldn't die before her. He was invincible. Once, after a quest to destroy a group of stray werewolf, Percy had saved her. She was glad she had survived her first quest, but her body wouldn't stop trembling. She was terrified of death.

Percy, now partly responsible of her well-being, slept in the same tent that night. He assured her that he would protect her from the nightmare that would surely come. He wrapped her in his strong arms and fell asleep beside her.

However, this much contact was alien to her. She couldn't even glue her eyes shut. She poked Percy in the cheek; waking him. His sea green eyes made her hold her breath. It was a gorgeous sight.

She couldn't help herself. She was a nerve wreck. She was cuddling with an older guy; the Percy Jackson no less. Yeah she was a friend of his, but they had never been this close. Yet she felt compelled to ask a question totally out of place.

'What would you do if I died' is a question you don't usually ask of anyone because you probably don't plan to die any time soon. Yet Percy answered in all seriousness how depressed he would be. It was something intimate not many would say aloud. It was hard for her to believe him. She didn't believe she was worth the trouble, but that only made the flame in Percy's eyes lit stronger.

She always had problems with her father. She was even ashamed of her last name. She never knew her mother was alive. And her sisters were shallow airheads who glorified make-up. There was no one she had believed in before.

Thus, his words reached deep into her heart. She felt a connection to him, but that also meant he was a weakness. Demigods die young; it was a fact. She didn't want to watch him die, which made her ask for something unreasonable. 'don't die before me'.

He accepted with a smile that made her heart flutter.

Tears streamed down her face as she remembered his words. Sorrowful screams left her lips as she watch Percy's body grow limp. In that moment, something broke within her, something that couldn't be fixed or mended. Percy, you liar.

Epilogue

The Tartaric war that was supposed to be the harshest war for the gods finished before it even started thanks to a brave (reckless) demi-hero that sacrificed himself to destroy the armies of Tartarus and sent the Primordial himself back to sleep. A statue of Percy Jackson was constructed in the center of the council in Olympus and the deceased hero received the title of "The Greatest Hero Ever to Live."

Artemis, the no longer virgin goddess, gave birth to Perseus, god of tides and lunar phase. She and her husband agreed that their first son would be named after her lost brother. After marrying Artemis, her husband was made a god and part of the council along with other minor gods to keep the balance. His name won't be disclosed due to copyright.

Bianca was named the new goddess of Virginity, in Artemis's position, and became the new lieutenant of the hunters of Artemis. While the hunter didn't take the chastity vow anymore, Bianca made sure they weren't able to think about anything else except hunting and protecting their sisters.

Selina disappeared after the death of Percy Jackson. Rumors said that her mother had taken pity on her and had granted one of her wishes. Some said she had been granted godhood as the goddess of broken oath and became the assistant of the goddess Styx.

This was the story of a broken Percy Jackson, one that lost all hope. One that lost all his mortals anchors. His soul was trapped in the pit; unable to escape for eternity. Tartarus didn't kill him, his indecisiveness did. It was something that most of his alternate versions could easily do, but not him. There was no one to cover his back, no one who, in his mind, accepted him fully. He was doomed to doubt others forever; that was his eternal punishment. A flaw most of us, mortals, have.

Sup guys! How angsty I was when I wrote this crap. Well actually, I wrote the first part about two months ago…exactly on June 16…the rest I wrote it today. Yeah crappy day…I will let you decide what happened.

No, I'm not going to kill myself. That a fact.

I know it's not my style. I am sure I usually am more jokes than anything else, but I was down and I started to write automatically. Today I wrote about 2/3 and edited those incoherent parts. This is not beta-ed so I don't have a second opinion.

I am back to being active. Somewhat. For those who know about The Search of a New Star, I rewrote chapter 8, now it is a 13k ass long chapter. Sadly, the graphic card of my current laptop burnt. Now I have to wait 10 days to fix it, if fixable. Pray for my laptop, that way I will be able to publish faster. This one-shot was saved in my one drive folder so I easily continued.

I'm currently using my old laptop; a 2007 Dell (I lost the 'M' key, it's very awkward to work like this) with Window Vista which servers are about to be discontinued by everything. Spotify barely works. So I may work on chapter 9 of Star or finish chapter 8 of Shadow Guardian.

Like it or hate it, review your opinion…even flames are good to mass reviews. Therefore, do so if you wish.

Important Song While Writing: Ruins by Ryder

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