It was dark, and there was pain, and then he was alone. Alec had been connected to Jace for almost ten years. Ten years, of being able to tell when he was okay, when he was hurt, when he needed help. And then he felt him die and he was alone.

It was like spending your whole life, holding on to someones hand and always knowing where they were, always feeling their heartbeat against your palm. And then suddenly their hand is gone, and you dont even know what to do with yourself, or who you are without them.

Alec felt their bond fade, he felt Jace's life force snap. He felt him die. It had been agony of the worst kind, and the physical pain was nothing compared to how it felt to know that his brother was dead.

And although by some miracle, Jace was alive, Alec's mind couldn't let that pain go.

His dreams were filled with blood and screams as Jace died in his arms. See, his mind was crueler than reality had been, and his nightmare made him watch the life drain from Jace's eyes as well as feel it. His lungs seized in his chest and his heart beat erratically as he held his dying brother in his arms, powerless to stop it.

Jace's eyes fell closed as he coughed, choking on his own blood as he let out one last plea. "Alec-" And then he felt that tear again, and his rune burned and faded.

Jace was gone. He'd lost him.

Alec woke with a scream, tears streaming down his face as his hands flew to his parabatai rune. He could feel him. He was okay, he was alive. Hands brushed against his face, as someone murdered his name. Alec blinked and tried to find them in the darkness, before the lights came on and he saw his boyfriends concerned face.

Magnus. Magnus was there and Jace was okay. Everything was fine.

The warlocks voice was so soft, his hands gently stroking away the tears as Alec tried to calm his ragged breaths.
"Are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?"

Alec nodded, face crumpling as he dipped his head and let out a sob. Magnus wrapped his arms around him and held the nephilim as he cried.

"Oh, my love."

"I lost him. He died, I couldn't- I couldn't save him."

Magnus stroked his hair, doing everything he could to comfort him as he shook in his arms. "I know, I know but he's okay now. He's alive. Do you want to call him?"

Alec sniffed and nodded as Magnus let him go, only to crawl behind him in the bed and hold him that way. He handed Alec his phone and held the shadowhunter to his chest, stroking his hair back on his forehead.

Alec dialed and sucked in a shaky breath when Jace answered. "Hey…no everything's okay I just…wanted to make sure you were still…yeah."

Magnus could hear Jace's voice through the phone, guilty and apologetic. "I'd hoped that…for some reason, you wouldn't feel it. I'm sorry that you had to. But I am okay. I…don't know how, but I am. I wont leave you again, Alec."

Alec sniffed again and wiped his face with a hand, nodding. "Good. You better not, or I'll kick your ass. I'm glad you're okay, I'm sorry for waking you. I love you,Jace."

"I love you too, Alec."

He hung up, and took in a shaky breath as he rolled over in Magnus' arms, pressing his face to the warlocks chest and wrapping his arms around his waist.

"Sorry."

Magnus ran his fingers through that dark hair that he loved so much, and pressed a kiss to Alec's forehead. "There's nothing to be sorry for. I'm glad you're both okay. Do you want to sleep?"

Alec considered for a moment, before he shook his head. He didn't want to dream about losing Jace again. "No. Can you just…hold me?"

Magnus wrapped his arms tighter around his angel and rubbed his hands over his back.

"Of course, darling." He held on tight till morning, and thanked every deity he knew, that he had been allowed to have his nephilim back, and that his nephilim hadn't lost his other half.