Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling.

Glory in the Light of Hope

By:

Embrathiel

Chapter 1:

Best of Intentions

—-

Dearest Hermione:

Many things have come clear to me in the last few days and it seems as though a veil has been lifted from both my thoughts and emotions. You Hermione, are the centre of that change, but you are also the piece I must address last of all in this letter so that my errors may be clear to you. That sounds awful to me, but I believe that only you would truly appreciate the sheer number of crumpled pieces of parchment that are currently hiding the floor from my view as I attempt to put in to words what I should have long ago. I am terrible with words and i am sure that no matter how much I think or change, that will remain the same. I am not sure how well or ill you are, but if someone is reading this to you, then I ask that they please read this in its entirety as while there are important bits that some may consider secrets, I do not consider them so. It's time to stop hiding from the realities we live with.

When I got back to the castle after the Ministry incident, Dumbledore told me about a prophecy that was made before I was born. Yeah its the one we tried to keep from Tom the tosser. Well, as it happens he heard a bit because some git told it to him. Apparently, if it is to be believed, I am the only one who can defeat his red-eyed spookiness because he tried to do me in, as a result of hearing the prophecy in the first place. Sounds like a bunch of self-fulfilling shite to me. Merlin I need to drop Divination.

The short version is that now that he marked me, I am the only one who can beat him up well enough to send him from this world and in the end it will come to a fight between him and myself. Please don't cry Hermione, I already did my share, and have since decided that while I will do everything I can to stop him, I don't put much stock in prophecies and won't live my life by it.

See, I'm thinking about things, isn't it great?

Next comes my childhood. After mum and dad died for me, chief whiskers, in his all encompassing senility, decided it was a good idea to send me to live with my relatives and put blood wards, yes, illegal freaking blood wards, over the house to keep me safe. From death eaters, not the Dursleys. They did a lot; we can talk about that later I don't feel like writing about it. I am guessing that if anyone is reading this to you its Madam Pomfrey, in which case, she knows the damage and could tell you if she likes, you have my permission ma'am. I didn't exactly learn much about love from them. I was raised to think that you got beat for everything and that that was what love was.

I met you and Ron, and you were my first friends in the whole world. As a result, I treated you terribly Hermione. My only defence is that I had no clue how to treat a friend because I was still learning what a friend was in the first place.

The next example of a family I had was the Weasleys where I was stuffed full of food and worshiped like some kind of child hero by Ginny. Well, getting beaten for breathing, and being stuffed full of food by someone who for some reason thinks she is your mother, aren't very good examples of what love is.

You, being you Hermione, have already likely figured out where I am going with this, but hear me out.

Sirius was next. I can't even express how happy I was when he asked if I would want to live with him over the summer; and how crushed I was when that opportunity was taken away from me by chief beardy. He tried to love me, I am sure of it, and I know he did, but he was just out of prison with the man hunt still active, while also being imprisoned in his own house. Sirius died for me Hermione. He died in the Department of Mysteries. He came to help us and he died for it. He died fighting and I never got to tell him how much he meant to me. I'm still not ok with it and I shouldn't expect I will be for some time. It did however teach me something.

If you love someone you want them to be healthy, you would die or live for them. If you love someone, you suffer through hell to be there for them.

Hermione, I have had terrible examples in the past but I believe I have realised something about myself that I wouldn't have otherwise.

I hate that you were hurt in the DOM. It's killing me to know you are likely in pain. I would do anything to help you get better. You have always been there with me, regardless of how much of a git I was.

I fought off Tom at the ministry that night. He tried to possess me but I banished him because I realised that I had hope and people I care about. It took a while to recognise it for what it was, but when I got rid of him, I think I got rid of other things as well. Luna said something about it but I can't write what she said because I honestly don't know how to spell all those things. The general idea was though that it got rid of a bunch of compulsion charms and modifying spells. Apparently it also got rid of the curse in my scar, whatever it was. Did you ever wonder why I never really changed much after first year? I think Quirrel with Tommy as a hat, put some spells on me to keep me about the same level. In just a couple days my magic has grown, not a terrible amount, but a fair bit. I feel, well, smarter and a lot less lazy. Hence the actual effort in this. I'm not about to start challenging the Ravenclaws for their class rankings, and I'm not about to become the next Merlin, but I myself feel better. I think that when it comes down to it, I haven't felt very good about myself for a long time, if ever. For once, I want to make something of my life.

What it comes down to though, is that I, I love you Hermione.

I, I don't know what else to say because I don't know how to describe or explain it, but i do. You've always been here, even more than Ron. You support me and help me. You fight with me rather than behind me. You don't treat me any differently than a normal person and for all those things I am grateful.

You likely don't see it, but you are beautiful Hermione. sod Ron for not noticing you are a girl. I noticed, I just, didn't know what to do about it. Maybe you didn't either, but if you wanted to, maybe we could talk about it?

I do also understand that you may be feeling exactly the opposite, so I will understand if you don't want to talk. I understand if you hate me for dragging everyone to London and getting everyone hurt. Especially you. I came by a couple times to visit you, but you were asleep and I don't want to be a bother.

I am sorry for everything and hope you can forgive me.

I love you.

Harry

—-

Madam Pomfrey finished reading and when she looked up from the parchment, Hermione saw that the woman was crying as well. As she had been placed in a paralytic state in order for her organs to heal properly, Hermione could not move anything but her head. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and she couldn't wipe them. Her heart was breaking and it hurt more than the after affects of whatever blasted curse she had been hit with. As if understanding her plight, the matron flicked her wand and the excess tears disappeared. She still wept, but they no longer overwhelmed her eyes.

"Ma'am, please, I need to talk to him. I can't leave him like that." she gasped out.

The older woman dabbed at her own eyes and stood. "Of course dear, I'll send for him now."

Hermione stopped, she had opened her mouth, entirely prepared to beg, but...

"Ma'am?"

"Unlike most of the staff here, I have not forgotten what it means to find reciprocatory love, even at your age. Besides, I've wanted an excuse to see what I can do about that boy's vision for some time now. We fixed your teeth last year, now maybe we can get the young man out of his glasses.: she smiled and raised her wand. "Expecto Patronum! Harry Potter, it appears I have one more thing I need to examine you for, come by the hospital wing as soon as you possibly can." Her winged serpent patronus sprang away and the matron moved off to her office.

God, could Harry actually love her? He was a boy so of course he hadn't noticed, but she had hoped. She thought it was totally obvious, why else would she be friends with Ron, not for his charm clearly. She put up with the cruelty for Harry, Harry who even when influenced by Ron still tried to do the right thing. What else had happened in London? She had only awoken after Neville, Ginny, and Luna had left the hospital wing, Ron having been sent to St Mungo's. Madam Pomfrey had told her that the others were all well however so she need not worry. Upon waking and discovering the letter from Harry, she had demanded that the woman read it to her, either that or she would expect that she be allowed visitors so someone could do it for her. Apparently preferring to suffer embarrassment herself from the potential contents of the letter rather than allow visitors inside, Madame Pomfrey had grudgingly sat down and begun to read.

Would he come soon? Was he in class? Had he been prepared to talk to her when he wrote the letter? Of course not, that's why he put it in a bloody letter after all. Knowing Harry he was likely still terrified of encountering her and was hoping she would still be asleep when he arrived.

She must have dozed off, for the next thing she knew she was roused by a bell ringing in the office at the end of the ward. The doors were out of her view but she watched Madame Pomfrey hurry over to them and begin to address someone.

"Mr. Potter, good, now get over to this bed, I need to check you out right away. There "have been some recent advancements in potions related to vision loss that may be helpful to your eyes."

The curtains were drawn between the bed next to her's and her own, but she heard Harry sit down on it and the soft swishes of a wand.

"Very good. Your magic levels are still a bit off, but the first potion I have for you is a common one. It is used for basic eye damage from bright lights. You won't be able to see for a few moments, but your vision will come back no problem. That will allow me to do a proper examination afterwards to see if what we have can help you." Hermione heard Harry gag as expected. "Now, this one performs the counter-effect. Drink it." Another spluttering from Harry. "Good, I'll be back shortly."

With that, the woman walked off, giving her wand a casual flick, sending the dividing curtains rocketing back against the wall, revealing Harry laying on the nearby bed, eyes entirely white. The poor thing looked terribly confused, well, she could fix that.

"Harry." He jumped and looked even more fearful if that was possible.

"Oh, erm, hi Hermione. How are you feeling?" he asked.

Grinning at his expression she said, "Awful, some git sent me a letter, forgetting that I could hardly be mad at him for something so sweet."

"Oh," he gulped, "so you read it then?"

"Yes Harry. To answer your first question, no I am not mad at you, and yes I do still want to talk to you."

"Ok."

"Harry?"

"Yeah Hermione?"

She rolled her eyes. "Would you please get over here? I'm thirsty and can't move. Help me with my water?"

"Um, I don't o if..."

"Yes you can, just get over here."

"But I can't see."

"Dolt, there's about four steps between the two beds, I think "The Boy Who Lived," will survive a quick stroll."

Grimacing, he swung his legs off the bed and shuffled his feet with his hands out before him. His hands being too high of course, he banged his shin on the bed frame.

"Owch, bugger."

"Language."

"But it hurt."

"So do all the colours in Professor Dumbledore's robes, but you don't hear me griping about it do you?"

He stiffened at the name. Oh dear, some anger there it seemed.

"Ok well, go to your right, there's an end table with a glass of water. Good, now, bring it here, use the other hand to find my mouth so you don't pour it on my face."

Fumbling and blushing, Harry very purposefully reached much higher than he needed to, finding the pillow then trailing down to her head. He was probably paranoid he'd touch her breast or something. Boys. His hand was steady and gentle though as his fingers trailed down her cheek to her lips. She lifted her head just a bit and opened her mouth and Harry lowered the glass to it. He couldn't see, but she looked up in to his solid emerald eyes as she took a gulp. When she had had enough she made a noise in her throat so he'd stop drowning her, unintentionally as it was.

Even without pupils in his eyes, he was handsome, and those eyes. She blushed realising that she could stare in to them all she wanted right now and he wouldn't notice a thing. Haltingly he found the table and placed the glass down on it.

"Can I do anything else for you?"

"You can sit down with me and talk."

He was so cute when he was uncomfortable. He managed it though, thankfully there was enough space at the edge of the bed so he could sit. Those eyes were facing her blankly and she had to focus and not lose herself.

"Harry, my hand hurts a little, could you uh?" Would he fall for it? Would he do it anyway even if he knew what she was doing?

A tentative hand slid across the covers until he found her arm to trail down. Why couldn't he just keep doing that? But she needn't have worried. Harry lifted her hand in his and held it in both of his as he massaged it ever so tenderly.

Was this as close to holding his hand as she was going to get right now? Hermione was determined not to ruin the moment so she didn't say anything and just lay there enjoying the contact and how his fingers and palms moulded her hand between them. Something so simple, and yet her whole body was responding in way too many ways.

He paused when she uttered a nearly inaudible moan at his ministrations.

"Please, don't…"

Even though he couldn't see her, he was still facing the general area of her head. She saw the solemnity in his face as he nodded once, his hands beginning to move again. Yeah, it was Ron who was the thick one, Harry had always been the one to understand her.

Tears arose once again and her voice broke as she forced words out past her terror and long-held feelings of inadequacy..

"Your letter, was beautiful Harry. I, I don't deserve it, but I think I didn't want to admit it to myself either. You were always the one who understood me, and I guess I didn't want to lose that. I… I wanted you to notice me, and now that you did…"

Her last word trailed off in a high pained squeak as she succumbed to her pent of fear and loneliness. He did love her. She could see it in his face, feel it in his hands. Yes, he had finally noticed her, and she couldn't make herself say it. Or maybe it was just that for so long she had thought herself unworthy of his gaze, or touch, or attention. And now, all of him was centred on her. What was a girl as plain and unimpressive as her to do?

She'd expected Harry to look panicked at her tears but he seemed to be calm now for some reason. Letting go with one hand, he fumbled for the corner of the sheets and brought it to where he thought her head was. Smiling at his awkward attempt, he squeezed her hand and set it down by her side. Harry turned so he was more or less half laying down and felt with one hand to find her face, using the sheet cloth to dab at her eyes and cheeks ever so tenderly. It was sweet, and romantic, and everything she wanted. And it was making her cry all the harder for it.

"Its alright, just let it out. Breathe. I'm here with you Mione." He whispered words to her as his hand slid down her cheek to touch her hair and slide across her curls. He was so close to her, so bloody close and her soul was calling out to him.

"I've got you Hermione. It's okay to cry. Honestly, I'm sorry I was a berk for so long and didn't realise it." Even through heavy tremors and tears she couldn't help but laugh. "But I'm being smart now and I'm here. I'm sorry, but don't worry, I don't hate myself or anything. I'm just wishing I'd realised it sooner."

She was subsiding a little and gently shook her head, just a little so as not to discourage his contact and managed to say, "Oh Harry. Shut up. You're wonderful and how could you have been expected to see something I was trying to hide in the first place?"

He smiled, the hand moving through her hair softly passing over the curve of her ear. "Yeah well, I'm normally known for spotting tiny gold balls from a distance so you'd think I'd be good at observing things wouldn't you?"

He made another tender pass over her face, dabbing gently at her wet cheeks and eye lashes.

"Yeah, well, I'm not exactly a rare catch or any…" The words froze in her mouth as his hands went still. A large frown marred his face and she felt bad for putting it there, but he already knew she was plain.

Leaning closer, his face so near to her's that her breathing nearly stopped in anticipation. And when Harry spoke, his low tones sent a shiver through her. "Excuse me, but I do hope you are not saying terribly untrue things about my future girlfriend. You wouldn't do that now would you?"

Now her breath really did stop. It caught somewhere between her thoughts and her lips, and only staring in to his face kept her together.

"Because she is beautiful, and the strongest person I know. And she doesn't like people telling lies. It's against the rules you see. I'm sure that one's in "Hogwarts, a History," somewhere. She could quote it word for word at you if you're not careful."

He really was trying to kill her wasn't he? His girlfriend? Beautiful? She didn't care if this hurt her, she was doing it and damn the consequences.

With effort, Hermione raised her head before he could pull away and pressed her lips to his. It wasn't a very good angle and her neck was already hurting, but even as he seemed stunned, Harry's hands came up and softly cupped the back of her head and applied just enough upward lift to take the pressure off her neck muscles. God she loved him.

He wasn't any better a kisser than she was, and it didn't matter. Gently lowering her head to the pillow he pulled away just long enough to catch a breath before returning his uncertain lips to her's, his strong hands cradling her head as if she were the most precious thing he had ever been in contact with. She was sixteen, kissing her best friend of five years, and quite literally, nothing else mattered. She was in heaven, and if getting hurt by that awful spell was what it took to be in this place? Well, she'd just have to take as many curses to the torso as she could handle because this, this was bliss and worth anything in this life she could ever hope to possess.

He lifted his lips from her's and she had to fight the urge to pursue them. But he stopped just a hair's breadth away and she couldn't help it, the words just flowed in and out as she took a breath. "God I love you."

With each syllable, her lips brushed against his and she felt the heat of her breath as it stopped against his skin. And he was smiling. And she was in love.

"Hermione, I love you too."

She kissed him again, and this time she let him escape when he sat up, taking her hand in to his again, glowing with obvious joy.

"You have now kissed two crying girls in just a few months, Mr. Potter. You'd best be careful lest you begin earning a reputation."

His grin widened. "For kissing you whenever you cry? That's alright with me."

Hermione's heart was either going to fly out her mouth or shatter from too much happy.

"You are a git, you know that?"

"Yeah. So, you'll go out with me then?"

"I only date boys I'm interested in." She smiled evilly at his worried expression. "You, Mr. Potter, I love. I don't need to date you. I want to be your girlfriend. I'd try for more than that, but boys don't really understand the intricacies. No, I don't need to see how comfortable we are going on Hogsmeade weekends. I already want you beside me. What I want is to be best friends with the boy I love, and his romantic partner as well if he'll have me."

"You're brilliant you know that?"

"Yeah. So you'll let me in to your personal life and take control of it so I can give you orders and make you do things you don't want to?"

"Yeah, no." Now they were both alight with evil smiles and there was nothing that could turn them away from one another. "I don't do things I don't want to for you. I already want to do what you tell me. Its been five years nearly, I'd think I'm pretty well trained by this point eh?"

"I can't even smack you upside the head like you deserve."

"Nope, especially since I can't really run or see it coming at this point anyway. Sounds about fair."

"Dolt."

"Yes, but I'm your dolt. And you know exactly how to spell it because I'll be holding the dictionary up for you to read because someone somewhere told me you like reading or something."

"I hate you."

"Good, pretty sure that's love then right?"

Hermione sighed, rolling her eyes. Yes, this boy was perfect. For her at least.

"Love is hate, hate is love. It's all the same anyway. Now kiss me again so I stop wanting to smack you."

He obliged her happily. And when Madam Pomfrey returned a quarter of an hour later, they were sitting together with stupid grins on their faces.

"Good then, now I hope you have figured yourselves out so I can check on my patient?"

Harry smiled and turned to face her, missing the horrorstruck look on her face. "Yeah, thanks Ma'am. She's all your's."

"Mr. Potter, you did, swallow, that second potion I gave you right?"

He frowned at her obviously concerned tone and Hermione's heart began to descend from the high it had been on.

"Yes of course. What's wrong?"

"Let me check first." Her wand was a whirl, but her movements were more anxious than Hermione had ever seen them. When finally she stopped, the matron dropped her wand and stepped back. "I'm, Merlin, I'm so sorry Mr. Potter. I…"

He stood up and stepped toward the woman, extending a hand toward the ground until he found the fallen wand. He held it out blindly before him, face turning to the sound of the woman's gasps. "Here. Please, its alright, just tell me what happened."

He found the woman and pressed her wand back in to her hands before returning to Hermione's side, one hand holding her's and the other stroking her cheek and hair.

"I'm, I'm so sorry. That potion normally only lasts two minutes at most. It's used to adjust the pupil size of patients who have had minor eye damage. I've never seen. It's not supposed to last you see. I just, I just wanted to help."

"Harry was frowning but he still spoke kindly. "Honestly, it's alright. You did help, with Hermione and I at least. Now, is there anything we can do about it?"

The poor woman shook her head, her own tears falling, Hermione's hope for the future with them. "There isn't. I'm sorry. Vision is the one thing we have trouble fixing. Haven't you noticed how wizards and witches use glasses and monocles? The eyes are so delicate we don't have many solutions for them. They seem to be the one thing magic can't just fix. But this still shouldn't have happened. Minor eye damage like from bright light, that's what that potion was for. This though. It's not supposed to last, and once the magic from the potion fades, which it has, there's nothing I can do. I should have waited until your magic was fully stable. Merlin, I'm so sorry. I've broken my oath. I've blinded a student. I've blinded Harry Po…"

He raised a hand and spoke loud enough to stop her, his other hand halting its motion to cup Hermione's cheek. She turned in to his hand, gently kissing the side of his thumb as he spoke.

"Stop! Yes, you messed up, but you know what, you had an honest motive. I don't think I'm dead or in pain or anything so as far as I'm concerned, you did nothing wrong okay? And yeah, it's a lot and I'll have things to learn, especially how to make blind jokes at Tommy, but really?" He turned to face Hermione, the smile returning to his lips. "I have everything I ever need to see, right here."

Harry's hand caressed her cheek and she stared at him, madam Pomfrey falling silent as she too watched him. He was possibly blind for life, with Voldemort after him, and all he cared about was…

"Yes, you Hermione. You are all I need to see. You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and as long as I can touch your face, and your hair, and your hands, well, that's enough for me. Just, remind me I said that when I'm upset later okay?"

Hermione noticed that her mouth was open when he tapped a finger across her open lips with a smile.

"So," she managed, "You'll want to do everything I tell you?"

He roared with laughter that should have been impossible. Through it she barely hear the older woman stomping off with the words, "Lovestruck puppy," muttered between her teeth.

She most certainly would be happy to remind him that he had said that, how could she forget?