November 13th

If Alex was being completely honest, they weren't that bad. In fact, he sometimes actually liked talking to them. He would let himself forget that they were dead for a little while and feel himself relax. It was nice being able to joke and laugh with his friends as if they were still there. They acted enough like themselves for it to not feel any different.

But then something would happen to remind him that it wasn't them anymore, and he would hate them again.

This was the routine until Lafayette and Hercules disappeared.

The two of them had been acting strange all day. Alex had figured out that none of them could go somewhere unless he was there, too, but that day, Laf and Herc seemed to keep forgetting that.

"Au revoir!" Laf would say cheerfully as he and Hercules headed to the front door. As soon as they got there, however, an invisible forcefield would keep them from moving any farther. "Oh...right..." They glided back towards Alexander with sad faces. this happened three times.

Later that day, Alex went out to get coffee, and on the way there, Laf and Herc kept saying how much they couldn't wait to get their favorite cookies. Twice, they were reminded that they were dead. Twice, they forgot five minutes later. As the group of ghosts and a boy crossed the street to get to a coffee shop, the two who wouldn't stop talking suddenly...stopped talking. Alex just sighed in relief.

Alex got a coffee, sat on a bench on the sidewalk, and took a deep breath. John had told him to go outside more often so he wouldn't always be cooped up with the same bad air and memories. It was helping, for sure. Sometimes they would all come with him, sometimes just John was there, and sometimes he was by himself. Either way, it was nice to be out.

As Alexander sat and thought and watched living people walk by, he noticed how calm everything was. Quiet. Not because no one had spoken to him in a while. Not because not many other people were outside that day. Not even because he and John hadn't fought in a couple weeks. The quiet he had noticed was in his head. He found that he wasn't necessarily happy, but he wasn't horribly depressed anymore either. He was just...fine.

Fine was enough.

He sighed and closed his eyes for a serene minute.

"What are they doing?" Alex opened his eyes again at Angelica's question.

"What?" Alex asked, barely opening his mouth so no one thought he was talking to himself. Angelica simply pointed past him. Alex turned his gaze as he took a sip of his coffee, almost spitting it out again when he saw what his friends were looking at.

Hercules and Lafayette stood motionless in the middle of the empty street. As if they knew they were being watched, they turned around to face Alex, who wanted to stand and go towards them in intrigue, but didn't because he knew he was still in public. The ghosts in the street smiled widely at him and waved, then turned to each other and held hands.

For a fleeting moment, they appeared in full, bright, clear, happy color.

Alexander flinched as a car sped through them and they exploded into puffs of pale blue smoke.

He he went back to the dorm after that and waited in a traumatized silence for the two of them to come back.

They never did.

\/\/

Would I be considered a bad person and friend if I said I was fine with them actually being gone?

Alex had wondered this several times in the past month couple weeks. When Laf and Hercules still hadn't shown up again by then, Alexander and the rest of his friends came to the conclusion that they had "moved on". None of them understood why or how, but they didn't mind too much.

"They're in a better place now." Eliza had assured him. He sure hoped so.

Eventually, he got used to them not being there. It was like they had never come back in the first place.

January 20th

His blankets hadn't been pulled off of him that night, but it was still too cold for him to sleep. John was holding him again.

Alexander sighed and got out of bed, stepping right through the wall of cold air. He felt a stab of sadness, which he assumed meant that John was upset that Alex had gotten up, but he couldn't sleep and needed coffee. As soon as he stepped out of his room, however, he found he couldn't move any farther.

Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy all stood frozen, scattered throughout the room. Not only were they not moving, but they looked as if they were unable to move at all. The room they were in was warm, too. No, it was hotter than a summer in the Caribbean, Alexander decided. And their eyes...

Their eyes stared ahead like usual, but, now...they were full of fear.

Strange...Well, stranger than usual.

"What's going on?" Alexander asked hesitantly. He didn't get an answer.

"Why are they..." John didn't need to finish his question.

"I don't know..." Alexander responded. He took a few slow steps towards Angelica and Eliza, who stood next to each other. They still didn't move.

"I think something's wrong with them."

"Obviously-" Angelica's eyes suddenly darted to Alexander.

"I'm so sorry, Alexander," Angelica whispered, sounding like she was crying.

"Wh-what?" Eliza slowly reached a hand out to Alex.

"We are so, so sorry." Alexander just stared at her, unsure what to do. When he glanced down at her extended hand, he noticed apparitional blue flames licking at the edges of her body. He looked back up and gasped quietly.

Eliza and Angelica-even Peggy who was still frozen on the other side of the room-had gone back to being...in full color.

Seeing them like this again, Alexander couldn't suppress the urge-want-need to take Eliza's hand. To feel and know that someone was real.

He held out his hand, but as soon as he touched her hand, she flinched away as if the touch had burned her. All at once, the flames engulfed her and Angelica's bodies, and they screamed. For a good three seconds, they screeched like banshees and Alexander jumped back from the bright light and loud noise. The ghost fire burned for a moment, then went out from the ground to the ceiling.

And Angelica and Eliza were gone.

"Holy..." John wasn't visibly or physically there, but his surprise and concern was obvious.

Peggy still stood in the far corner of the room, staring with fear into nothingness. Alexander watched as she turned to face him, then silently flickered out like a light.

The he room went dark. Alexander couldn't move.

"They're gone..." John said quietly. "They're gone."

\/\/

It was always so quiet. It wasn't as cold anymore, either. John was still there, though, but he barely ever showed himself anymore.

A weight-several weights, really-had been inexplicably lifted off of Alexander's soul. He wasn't sure why or how, but he felt...better?

It was strange, feeling better.

February 27th

The crying from John's room had become louder and more frequent as the days went on. It worried Alexander to no end.

The deep sadness had come back, too.

They had fought again that day. It had been bad. Alexander's hand had been cut when John threw an already broken mug at him. John had immediately apologized like crazy and disappeared after Alexander had finished tending to his wound.

The rest of the day, the only sign that John was still around was the sound of crying.

\/\/

Alexander woke up when the cold entered his room. A pressure pushed down on the end of his bed, and he sat up to face John.

He looked different, oddly enough. He seemed older, more tired.

"Hey."

"Hey."

Silence.

"So...I figured it out."

"What?"

"Why they all acted so weird before...um...before they moved on. I figured it out."

"What's the reason?"

"They were acting the same as they did just before they died."

Silence. Understanding.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"That makes sense, I guess-"

"On the exact six month anniversary of their deaths, too."

"True."

"Alex...what day is it?"

"...The...27th..."

"And how have I been acting lately?"

Silence. Understanding. Fear.

"No..."

"Yes."

"How do you know for sure? The others didn't know."

"The others also didn't know that they were going to die."

"...But you did."

A solemn nod.

"But I did."

Silence. Understanding. Fear. Pain.

"So...is this..."

"No. This isn't the end for us. This is not goodbye."

"But-"

"No." A gentle hand touching his cheek. "You will see us again. I promise."

"You...you promise?"

"I promise." A single tear was wiped away. "Get some sleep, Alexander. Have good dreams. Take care of yourself. Take your time. Live a good life." Alexander closed his eyes as John kissed him on the forehead. When he opened them again, John stood before him in full color one last time. He headed towards the door, but turned back around just before he left. "Hey, throw something at Jefferson for me? I was never able to hit him." Alexander couldn't help but smile.

"I will."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Good. See you later." John smirked at him, then left the room. A door closed across the hall, and then, surprising Alex, a flash of light and a loud bang erupted from inside John's room.

"See you later."

February 28th

Alexander almost slept in that morning, which was astonishing for multiple reasons. When he did get out of bed, he noticed that the sun shone brightly through the window, and that his body was filled with a comfortable warm. He ate a small breakfast, then went out to get a coffee before heading to class.

All of which he did alone.

He wasn't lonely. Just alone.

\/\/

Alexander walked into class with a bit of a bounce in his step and a faint, subconscious smile on his face. He sat behind Jefferson, and as soon as he could, he threw a ball of paper at the curly hair in front of him. Jefferson spun around with a sneer on his face.

"What do you want?" Alex just shrugged. Jefferson looked him over, then his face softened into a small grin. "You look...better."

"I am," Alexander answered.

"Hell, I'd even venture to say that you look happy." Alexander just smiled and took in a fresh breath of air.

"I am."

Hey, so this took longer than anticipated to finish...oops.

Anyway, I honestly don't know why I wrote this. I guess I was just in a "make people upset" mood? I think this is one of my best works, though, so I like it oddly enough.

I have some things to say.

1. Sorry.

2. You know how the description for this story said that I cried while writing it? Yeah, I wasn't kidding. Several times during the writing of this (writing the line "died on impact" in the first chapter, to be specific), I felt my heart drop and everything hurt and it sucked.

3. Sorry again.

4. In chapter 4, pay attention to what was underlined in John's letter, and what he said at the end of the chapter. I was basically using him to talk to all of you in those instances.

5. If you ever feel as depressed as John was, enough to feel the need to commit suicide, I beg of you, please please please talk to someone. And if that person makes fun of you or something for feeling like this, tell them to go FUCK themselves, and then keep looking for help. If you can't find someone directly around you to help, feel free to message me, or, for more professional (and probably better) help, the amazing author ColdInMyProfessions has a list of suicide hotline numbers for a bunch of countries in their profile.

Alright...this is over. And its the first one I've finished. I feel like a milestone has been crossed.

I need to figure out how to write other stuff now. Ugh.

I love you!

See you later!