Chapter 6: LOOP

As food were served before him, his big heterochromatic eyes follows the meek attendant. His lips opens up to speak but he stopped as he feels his grandmother's hand over his small ones.

"Do not thank them Seijuuro."

The fledgling tilts his head to the side in curiosity.

"Why? Isn't it right that we thank others when they do something for us?"

His grandmother chuckled and shakes her head.

"Everything that you ever need and want shall be given to you for that is due for you are an Akashi." The lady said with a flat tone, "They are doing nothing to be thankful for, it is their duty to you to give you what is rightfully yours."

Akashi stares and nods to his grandmother, he looks across the table where an empty seat next to his mother is. His lips curl to a frown.

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Akashi stares at the white tiles of the unfamiliar bathroom wall as water drenches his hair and body. The warm water eases his body that had grown tired from the past few days of nonstop working and exhaustion which he didn't notice until now. Closing his eyes as the water slowly cascades down his face, he hears in the back of his mind Takao's words. Furihata Kouki is simple and meek and all those behaviour perhaps were nothing but a display of his genuine personality—caring, humble and warm, an exact opposite of him.

The word that used to made him feel better made him want to drain all the blood in his veins just to remove that mark that made him differentfrom him. He felt as if he close yet so enclosed, so far, from him. It is as if he's seeing the same song in a different language, though it seems so near he can't touch it.

"I don't think I can take it anymore."

"We don't have to be bound to each other."

"I don't understand Akashi-kun."

Akashi feels the fire in his chest burn painfully for the first time. It feels hot, suffocating and miserable. The wings hidden in his back feels heavy like led, and his heart to which he didn't know he has aches in a way he can't explain. His lungs feel like it is filled with water while his body burns.

Love, is this love?

Akashi purses his lips, he wonders why Kagami looks so happy talking about love when it feels like his chest is getting ripped open and his world turning around along with everything he used to believe in.

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Furihata sits down in the couch in the middle of his room, staring at his still bandaged hands, his lips quiver remembering the warmth of Akashi's hand when he held them on the way there. Strangely the other's warmth seem to fill that strange void he has since a few days ago, a feeling he didn't even know he would have from someone.

Akashi is undoubtedly someone who is out of his league, he is perfect in almost every sense, he could have anything he wants in flick of his fingers. Anything and yet…why him? Why would he go far to chase him this long, why would he waste his time to make those promises and actually keep them?

Well maybe he just simply have to give him what he wants and he will be done with him?

Furihata's hand unconsciously slides on his flat stomach. Well if that's the case—Furihata sighs, no that's a bit too far for him. He can't have a child to Akashi, not because he just wants to, not because he wants a strong offspring. He can't do it.

"What are you thinking?"

Furihata gasps out loud hearing Akashi's whisper close to his ear. He quickly scurries away and stares at the half-naked scarlet haired angel standing there with a small smile. The nephilim sighs with a hand over his chest.

After Akashi was able to find Himeko, the other insisted to complete their bargain, however surprisingly instead of jumping on him(not really an exaggeration on Furihata's part) upon reaching the brunet's room the scarlet haired angel simply asked to borrow the brunet's bathroom saying looking around for Himeko seems to have made him sweat on his uniform terribly. Since that moment no words exchanged between them. It was both strange and nerve-wrecking.

"I…I want to thank you f-for f-finding Himeko." Furihata says in a quiet voice.

"Hm, I was just doing what I promised to."

Furihata looks up at Akashi, the other looks ahead staring at the shelves leaning against the walls of the brunet's room. It is strange, the brunet thought to himself, somehow something tells him that the other is not saying something. Somehow his eyes seems colder than before, dull, and he dares to say sad. He wonders why, is it because of his wish?

"I…I thought that maybe…if you do it with me…y-you'll realize t-that I'm not really the person you should be looking at." Furihata says making Akashi turn at him. "M-Maybe if we do it you'll begin to lose interest in me."

Akashi's eyes widen at those words as he stares at Furihata's blushing face. Now that he mentioned it he did somehow put it that way for the brunet, however in the past few days he had not once thought of that though admittedly he did think about him. Holding him would make him lose interest, he wonders if that really is the case. Akashi leans his hand on the couch as he inches closer to the other taking in every feature on the other's face, the small freckles scattered in his cheek almost invisible if not this close, the dark but thick eyelashes framing the other's eyes perfectly, his quivering lips small but plump.

If Furihata was born any earlier perhaps he wouldn't have been able to meet him, if he had been born in the Age of War, Furihata would have been hunted down, burnt, killed and tormented for simply existing. The thought sent Akashi in wave of confusion and fear, what would he then once they've done it, what will he do knowing he is next to nothing to him? Can he bear watching him from afar, smiling, pretending as if his heart doesn't yearn for him?

Well two can play this game.

Akashi leans closer, his lips inches away from the other's.

"Well I guess that would have made things simpler." He says in a low voice, his warm hand slides down on the other's thigh while his other hand cups the side of the brunet's face, "Since you don't like me and you find this annoying, yes?"

"E-Eh?"

Furihata's eyes snaps up to Akashi red eyes staring at him with a lonely glow.

"Of course you'd want to get rid of me quickly." Akashi says as his hand which rest on the other's thigh slowly works to undo the other's pants, "We should just make it quick."

Furihata's eyes widen at those words and his body starts to tremble, Akashi words are cold and merciless. His usual warmth seems to have changed to something unfamiliar, each vibration of the other's voice are like a sharp icicle piercing into him without a warning. His heart crushes over the weight of the other's needless stony words.

"Why…"

Akashi freezes as he sees a single drop of tear falls in his hand over the brunet's half undone pants. Furihata's smaller hands reaches over Akashi's hand and pushes his hand away with his small sobs growing louder.

"Why?" he repeats again making Akashi look up at him. "Why do…only ever talk like that?"

Akashi feels all the air in his lungs disappears as he sees Furihata's flushed cheeks and tears uncontrollably streaming down his face. Drops of his tears fell on the couch and on Akashi's hand, it is cold against his skin as if stirring him out of a deep reverie.

"Didn't you even consider…that I may feel hurt too? It's fine if you ignore me, it's fine if you use me but…"

"Furihata-san—"

"I don't want to be treated like this by you." Furihata says feeling the shameful tears fill his eyes, he lowers his head unconsciously hiding his face from the other. He feels Akashi's hand sneaks to the side of his face, making him close his eyes, strangely they've become warmer now. "I know it doesn't have to be me, I know there are many others better than me, b-but I…s-still I—"

"Furihata-san."

"You can treat me better, can't you?"

Furihata sobs loudly as he grips Akashi's wrist feeling the other's finger grow wet with his tears. He just wish he ccould really feel the same warmth from the other's touch with the way he looks at him, treat him or speak to him. He wish he just…

"This is just…too cruel." Furihata says in his broken voice.

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"Why?"

"Huh?"

Furihata lifts his head as he feels Akashi's hand slightly tightens its hold and the other's tone change. His brown eyes find mismatched eyes staring at him with confusion.

"Why are you talking like that?"

Furihata feels something tug in his heart as he looks at Akashi's eyes, the coldness in them has faded and all that he can see is his own reflection in those beautiful orbs.

"The one who only wants you, the one that doesn't want anyone else…is me."

Furihata's eyes widen at the other's words which seem to be laced with misery and gloom for some reason, Akashi's expression changed from its usual composed look, his eyebrows knits together as he looks at him like an expensive fragile vase. His thumb gently caress his cheek in a slow soothing manner as his eyes studies him carefully. His breathing is slow and quiet but somehow something told Furihata there is a storm behind those calmness, inside that chest.

"Do you think that the reason I kept my promise is that? Of course not, how miserable." Akashi says whispering the last two words for himself. His hands slid down from Furihata's face down on the couch. He lowers his head and stares at his empty palm. "I…I've never felt this miserable my whole life."

Akashi closes his eyes as he remembers every bit of desperate calls he did, all the stupidity, all the absurdity, his failed attempts of showing affection, his pitiful display of his childish need and desire for attention. Life was supposed to be easy for an Akashi, he is powerful, beautiful, an pureblooded angel with a perfect upbringing and yet…nothing seems to come close, nothing seems to work, nothing seems to make sense and it hurts so much he doesn't even know what to do with himself.

"I think about my mistakes. And even if I think about the evidence suggesting I should just give up…I…I still end up coming back to you, here." Akashi says in a quiet voice. He chuckles but it is empty, just like his chest, "There's no way I'd become someone special to you…I know I stand no chance but still I waste my time on this and keep meaningless promises to you as an excuse. I'm useless but still…I can't stop."

Furihata couldn't help but feel a mixture of feelings, for the first time since he met Akashi the angel looked actually like his age, small, naïve, helpless and confused. His words repeats and resounds in his empty heart, each syllable makes it skip a beat.

"I…can't help but feel angry that I can't be anyone special to you."

Furihata feels his heart swells every passing second at Akashi's confession, it is so different from the words Akashi said to him the first time they spoke in that room. It was full of desperation, it is almost as if he was begging for him to look at him which wasn't supposed to be the case, right? Why would Akashi Seijuuro, prodigy of the long lines of pure blooded angels would ever go through such lengths right? He is Akashi Seijuuro, he doesn't chase people, people chase him. But…there he is, so vulnerable and fragile in the mercy of just a simple word from Furihata.

To be special for Furihata, why would he even seek something like that, to him a nothing but a half-assed angel, an ashen winged angel with nothing to boast about.

"I…I don't know what you mean by s-special. W-Why would you e-even—a-and there's plenty o-of others b-beside me—"

"That's not it."

"A-And I-I'm a nephilim, o-other's consider me as an abomination, y-you would b-be better off with a pure-blooded angel."

"I don't care."

"And a-a c-child is a difficult thing to conceive e-even partly a-as an angel."

"Then don't worry about it."

Silence falls between them as Furihata looks at Akashi whose head still hangs low.

"B-But…then I…that means…you don't really need me, r-right?" Furihata says staring at Akashi, his tears finally stop.

If Akashi doesn't need a child conceived and if Akashi no longer cares about their origin…why would he even need him anymore? He could have turn around and there are plenty of others, he could have chosen them instead, he could have given up on him when he realized Furihata is a nephilim and even if they do conceive a child it would be tremendously difficult for Akashi's family to accept the idea, he could have left and moved on but…no, he's not.

"T-This…doesn't make sense." Furihata finds himself saying.

"Whether you are weak, or the future with you is dim, none of that matters anymore because you're Furihata Kouki." Akashi says surprising Furihata, "Nothing else seems to matter more than that to me now, which is why I feel more miserable. It feels as if I am standing in a world that's been flipped upside down."

"W-What do you—"

"It's possible, that I've fallen for you the very second I laid my eyes on you."

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"Eh?!"

Furihata gasps as he feels his face flush hotter than ever at Akashi's confession. His body trembles at the word, it seems surreal, Akashi Seijuuro in his most tender voice confessed to him like a sin to God that he has undeniably fallen in love with him, a meek, stupid, average nephilim.

"A-A-Akashi-k-kun…t-to me…b-but I—"

Akashi sighs, he pushes himself up. Now that he has said it, there's nothing else left to do. Inevitably surely he will reject him and say that he cannot return his sentiment for there is someone else that he likes, someone he treasures well—just like what Takao said to him.

"I don't have a chance anyway, I just wanted you to know." He said as he turns around, "I apologize for my behaviour I will ex—"

"W-Wait!"

Akashi blinks as he feels Furihata's small hands wrapped in his hand. He stops and turns to look at the brunet.

"W-What do you mean? I-I d-don't have the slightest idea what you are talking about all t-this time. W-What do you mean by c-chance? What are you—"

Akashi sighs, he tries to remove the brunet's hold.

"What do I mean? I meant your previous partner."

"W-What a-about him?"

Akashi stares hard at the other, why is he acting so innocent now, is he baiting him?

"I heard you were more than partners."

Furihata nods.

"Yes, he is my older brother."

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"Older?"

Furihata nods as Akashi's expression slowly change into a grim expression.

"E-Eh? A-Akashi-kun?"

"It is illegal for a demon to kill an angel and vice versa, but there is no law that say angels can't kill another angel, right?" Akashi says with a frightening grin, "It seems that I may have to talk with Takao later."

Furihata chuckles catching Akashi's entire attention, his flushed cheeks makes him look very young, his small hands, and his smile.

"There's no set method… I can be happy or sad with just one word from him."

His brother, huh? A small smile creeps in Akashi's lips at the sight, he really does like him better with this expression with his button nose wrinkled, a big smile and his eyes close as he laughs. This, he decides, perhaps this is the most beautiful image he has seen yet. Akashi sits back down on the couch and looks at Furihata.

"My brother retired from this department since he thought he lacks aptitude for it. I-I'm not alone for any particular reason. I-I'm sorry for making you worry."

Akashi looks down at Furihata's hand and slowly reaches to entwine his fingers with his.

"Does that mean that I have a chance with you…or do you perhaps hate me now?"

Furihata blushes and accept Akashi's hand entwining itself with his. The angel's hands are very warm now and comforting, it's like the warmth of a fireplace on a cold winter night.

"H-Hate t-that's—I-I don't h-hate Akashi-kun."

A gentle smile blooms in Akashi lips and to Furihata's surprise the angel's wings spreads out from his back showing a different glow of scarlet, orange and crimson. A warm feelings spreads out in his chest seeing the other's wings in this form, it's feathers seems so well groomed and at the same time strong, sturdy and graceful. Akashi's free hand reaches to cup Furihata's face tenderly.

"Then if you don't hate me, is it the opposite?"

"O-Opposite?"

"Yes." Akashi says inhaling the intoxicating scent of cinnamon from the brunet. "Do you like me too?"

Furihata shivers at the sensual tone of the angel.

"Y-You—T-That's just, y-you know I'm bad at t-this!"

Akashi chuckles and inches closer lips almost touching the other's.

"If you don't hate me…please don't be cold to me."

Furihata feels the angel presses his lips on his for a light peck before finally kissing him full on the lips. Akashi's hand entwined with Furihata's hand sneaks down to the brunet's waist pulling him closer as the angel licks and nibbles on the brunet's lips. His body starts to feel warm in a way he had never felt before, it was like floating on a warm lake, it is quiet, peaceful and just perfect. Furihata's hands reaches to the broad shoulder of the angel feeling the other's skin under his fingertips smooth and warm.

Akashi pulls away and looks at the nephilim, he could feel his heart beating loudly on his chest, his wings spreads behind him wide in display of dominance and possession. Something in his mind screams to hold and never let that nephilim go.

"You need to tell me to stop now, or I we won't be able to go back from before."

Akashi's eyes widen as he feels the brunet's hand reaches the side of his face, his calloused fingertips though feels unfamiliar against his cold empty soul doesn't seem repulsing. It feels perfect just like how the blue fits the sky or the cry of red and orange of the dusk.

"Kouki."

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SWOOOOSH

"Shin-chan?"

Takao stands from his desk and peers over the balcony of his study where a tall green haired angel stood, his emerald eyes glows into bright green as he faces the vast sky before him.

"What's wrong?" Takao asks.

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"A loop is getting established."