The shingles beneath him needed replacing. They'd been terrible for some time, actually, and no matter how he lay they jutted just a bit into his back. He could always move to a more comfortable rooftop, of course, but that would cause him to draw attention to himself. Instead, he just fruitlessly readjusted again.

The Run was on, and Guild students moved over the Morpork rooftops like an army of ants. Periodically there was a scream, but more often figures just fell.

Technically, even sitting on his roof as far away from the courses as he lived was against the rules. Undergraduates were allowed to know that the Run existed, just enough to get terrified of it, and nothing else. And it was true that he didn't really have a work around to let him watch but... He also didn't actually care.

People didn't make sense. And, more than that, people wouldn't make sense.

He'd hoped that one day he would wake up with everything snapped into place. But everything already seemed to be in place, he realized. It was just that his places were so much different from everyone else's that they'd never understand one another. He was rather positive everyone around him had figured it out a long time ago and held that against him. But he'd refused to believe it until it'd been spelled out that night.

It'd been justified with the idea that they were making sure that the graduates would be ready for absolutely everything. But, more to avoid the 17 year olds from doing exactly what he was doing right then, the Guild had taken them on a field trip to the Seamstress district. After that they were encouraged, since they were physically and emotionally exhausted after all, to get to bed. Or, you know, there's plenty of bars open if they wanted to go out and celebrate with their friends.

Jonathan had never been invited out drinking before, and he wasn't surprised nobody offered then. He probably would have turned it down, anyway. He'd wanted to get home as fast as possible, take two baths, and then lay out to the roof.

His classmates had liked it, which was the part that baffled him. He didn't think they were lying. He'd spent too many years listening to older boys talk it up like it was the best experience possible. Clearly, to someone, it must have been enjoyable.

But it'd been awkward and uncomfortable, and the woman he'd been given to was in no mood to be patient with him. He'd felt like a stupid, terrified child. If he never had to experience it again, it'd be much too soon.

To his peers, though... Even as they were leaving the district, they were eager to get back. They'd grow into men who'd spend their entire fortunes on women. And probably drink, as well, because they went hand in hand.

And he'd just be off to the side, never understanding the fascination.

There was a scream of pain, the sort that lingered in agony until it finally petered out. Probably a poison, then. Come to think of it, he'd seen Lady T'Malia wander around that area about a week back. So change 'probably' to 'almost certainly'.

There was a "gluck" noise, which was a knife. He wondered if it was one of the ones he'd blackened. The Madam had been very insistent about not telling him where she was assigned though, so...

"Good morning, sir," Jonathan said without turning his head.

Monsieur le Balourd came onto the same roof, with a tight smile that reminded a student that he was an authority figure. "You're not supposed to be on the roof, Jonathan. I know it was covered in-"

"Needed some fresh air, sir." He settled in a bit more, to make a point that he wouldn't move. "Can't discern anything from this distance, anyway."

The tutor's smile became more sympathetic. "Bad trip tonight, then?"

Jonathan sunk even deeper against the shingles.

"The one they'd forced me on back in the day wasn't much better, I'm afraid," he said, with an almost apologetic shake of the head. "It's really an awful thing to mandate something like that. Some men just get nothing out of women. And there's no shame in it."

He paused a long while, then got up to his elbows and asked quizzically, "There's not?"

Jonathan couldn't remember the last time he'd been told that he was anything approaching normal.

"None at all!" Le Balourd practically sang. "I accepted that at your age, and it made my time in the Guild far better from that point on." Of course, he also hadn't been the social paraiah Jonathan was. And he'd never gotten into anywhere near the amount of trouble... but one thing at a time. "We can talk more tomorrow if you need to. But right now, get back inside before I have to report this."

He stood up, and nodded to the tutor. "Thank you."

The hood was pulled down a bit more to hide his white-blond hair. "Do try to get some sleep, though, alright?"

"Think I'm going to take another bath, honestly."

le Balourd patted him on the shoulder before he headed back into the night.

As Jonathan slipped back inside his window, the eye began, You know he thinks you're-

"I got that."

And?

"And I'm taking a bath. Alone."

The eye rolled, but let itself be removed.

Jonathan drew and then sunk into the bath. He laid his head back and, with a wash cloth over his eyes, listened to the periodic footsteps overhead.

He tried to clear his mind, but it quickly became apparent that wouldn't work. No, what he really needed something, anything, else to keep him occupied. Something big, and consuming and...

Mock inhumations were good for that. That'd be perfect. If it was complicated enough, his mind would be stuck all night... And, for a project like this... he needed the biggest one ever.

The most difficult, the most seemingly impossible...

His eyes snapped open. A moment later, he scrambled out of the water and got the eye re-inserted as fast as he could.

It took a moment for the eye to start up, as if it'd gone away. What happened to the bath?

"Forget it," Jonathan insisted. He darted over to his desk to search through his library books. "We still have the one on personifications, don't we?"

For another day or so... What are you looking for?

"I'm going to inhume Death!" Jonathan giggled, proudly. "Just have to figure out a good starting point..."

How about getting some pants on?

He paused and glanced down. "Fair enough. But after that, I'm inhuming Death."

The eye seemed to grin back. Can't wait.