Forty-Two: The Last One

It was the Friday of Memorial Day Weekend. Droves of Manhattanites had taken to 495 in an attempt to spend the gorgeous, mid-eighty degree weekend out east. Among those crawling along the Long Island Expressway were Trevor, Charlie and Lizzie, the little girl already out cold and snug in her carseat in the back of Trevor's SUV. Charlie was resting her head against the window, softly humming along to the Paul Simon playlist Trevor set up, hoping to relax them despite the frustrating traffic.

They had been living back in Manhattan for almost three weeks and this was actually their first trip back to the Sag Harbor house. It had taken a while to get all their stuff unpacked and settled, including setting Lizzie's room up as close to her old room as they could. She wasn't quite old enough to understand the idea of moving, but she quickly realized that she was no longer in the same house as her uncle and grandparents. It was an adjustment, and she was making it slowly but at a normal pace for her age. In an effort to get her into a sense of normalcy, Charlie had quickly decided to repaint her room a light purple, just like her old room, and try to replicate the curtains. Once that was done, the little girl was sleeping through the night and only occasionally whining for her Ollie.

Though they all had the best of intentions, the entire Tucker family quickly realized that weekend trips to either place were just not going to happen. Between Noah's baseball schedule, Lizzie's new gymnastics class, and life in general, it was becoming apparent they were not going to be getting together as much as they originally thought. Outside of two quick afternoon trips the weekend after the couple actually relocated, one by Ed and one by Olivia, the family had not been all together since the morning the move took place. As Trevor saw the "Entering Nassau County" sign, he glanced over at his girlfriend and saw she was chewing on her lip, a sure sign that something wasn't quite right. He reached out and grabbed her hand, bringing it to his lips for a kiss and holding it on his leg.

"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" he asked, eyes on the road but his attention solely on Charlie.

She sighed. "Nervous," she admitted. "And I don't even know why."

"We made a big change," he said gently. "And it was even bigger, and harder, for you. Let yourself feel it."

She lolled her head against the headrest so she was looking at his profile. "I think this is the longest I've gone without seeing my mom," she quietly said, almost as if she were embarrassed to admit it was bugging her.

Trevor was silent for a bit, absorbing that and realizing she was likely right. Ever since they had officially moved, Charlie had thrown herself into her new life. At times, he felt she was really loving it, but there were other times when it was clear she was putting on a show. Almost as if she was doing it because she was supposed to. His hope was that, in time, it would be what she wanted and needed. They had even talked briefly about the ring that Trevor still had and Charlie was adamant that she wanted the ring, but both felt like they should settle into the new routines before adding one more big decision to the mix. It was the distance from Ed and Olivia that seemed to be presenting the biggest challenge for Charlie, and despite the couple openly communicating well about aspects of their new life and various other topics, Trevor found that Charlie still clammed up when he pressed her about how she was feeling being a little farther away from her parents.

"Are you," Trevor began, not sure if this was the time or place, but perhaps she was finally open to talking about it. "Are you still feeling this was the right decision?"

Charlie was quiet, but her eyes stayed on her boyfriend. "Of course," she whispered. "It's…well…it is what we needed to do for us. I'm just being ridiculous. I'll be fine. Don't you worry."

Trevor let out a chuckle and snuck a glance over at her. She was watching him, her blue eyes sparkling. "Ya know I'm always gonna worry about ya, at least just a little bit."

"I know," she responded. Deciding that was enough of the serious talk, she changed the subject. "The weather this weekend is supposed to be amazing. Hopefully we can do the beach tomorrow. I brought Lizzie's new suit."

"Shit," Trevor mumbled. "I forgot her floaties."

"Ah, I bet mom and dad still have some," Charlie said, not worried about it. "Even if they don't, you know dad will run right back out."

Trevor laughed. "Of course. No one goes without in the presence of Ed Tucker."

"Truer words have never been spoken," Charlie said, and with that, their conversation grew quiet. Trevor concentrated on weaving them in and out of traffic and Charlie went back to leaning her head against the window, willing them to arrive faster. She was suddenly very ready to see her parents and little brother.

"Lizzie!" Noah yelled, hopping off the front porch and beelining for the now parked car. Trevor had rolled the back window down and Lizzie could be seen trying to escape her carseat at the sight of Noah.

"Unc! Unc!" she yelled, increasingly frustrated that she was still trapped. Noah opened her door and attempted to get her loose, but the seat was a little too sophisticated for the young lad.

"Ugh, Lizzie dis seat is tricky!" Noah exclaimed, admitting defeat and allowing Trevor to move and get the little girl out. Once she was on her feet, she gave Noah a big bear hug before tagging him and taking off across the front yard, immediately resuming their typical game of tag. Charlie got out of the car and smiled at the scene as Trevor wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Almost like nothing changed," she murmured, but her smile grew even larger as the front door opened and Ed and Olivia came out.

"Charlie!" Olivia exclaimed, rushing down the steps and giving her daughter a tight hug. "Your hair!"

Ducking her head a little, Charlie hid a bashful smile and tucked the shorter locks behind her ear.

"You like it?" she asked hesitantly. "I sorta decided spur of the moment."

"I love it," Olivia said, leaning back and fluffing the soft curls on her hand. "I've never seen it this short, but it's a good look!"

The two women just looked at each other for a bit, both of them recognizing an unfamiliar shift in their relationship. Despite having only moved a couple of weeks ago, they were both acutely aware that a distance had been forming long before then. Driving the point further home was the trivial fact that Olivia hadn't even known about the haircut.

"When did you do it?" she asked, wrapping her arm around her shoulders and leading her up to the porch while the men kept an eye on the overly exciting children.

"Yesterday," she said quickly. "Not too long ago. Figured I'd just surprise you."

"Want a drink? I can run fix us something…"

Charlie clutched Olivia's wrist, stopping their walk and she eyed her mother. "How are you feeling?" she asked, eyes wide and hoping for honesty. Olivia delivered.

"Better," she said. "Still not completely up to my normal energy level. And there's a little residual chemo-brain sticking around. But, surprisingly, I'm feeling really good."

"Your hair is cute like this," Charlie said softly, running her fingers through Olivia's shortly cropped bob. Her dark brown locks had grown back enough in the ten weeks since her last treatment for her to go to her stylist and ask for some help. She came out with a cute, closely cropped bob that almost felt natural, but she was quick to admit she missed the longer tresses. "It'll keep growing, Momma. Don't you worry."

Olivia just pulled Charlie to her and kissed her head. "Come on," she said in that voice that was half whisper, half emotion. "Let's go get a drink. The men can wrangle Noah and Lizzie."

As the women went inside, Ed watched them with hands in his pockets. Turning to Trevor, he also scrutinized the younger man a little bit before asking out of the side of his mouth, "Everything going okay?"

Trevor shrugged. "It's an adjustment. But she seems happy. She's trying. Doesn't talk much about it, to be honest. Lizzie's adjusting well. Only a couple boxes left to unpack, mainly my old law books."

Ed just nodded, unsure of what else to say. He wasn't going to clue Trevor into the hard time they had once the trio had departed a few weeks prior. Noah understood and tried to be stoic, but Ed could tell he missed his older sister and younger niece fiercely. Luckily, children typically adjusted easier and the little boy was so busy with baseball season that he didn't have much time to wallow. He surmised that once baseball season was over, he'd be fully adjusted to the change. Ed, himself, found himself tossing and turning those first few nights. He had grown used to having his entire family under one roof, where he could keep them safe all on his own. After such a late start being a father to Charlie, he had cherished those extra years that she lived with them as an adult. But Ed, being his usual self, just plugged away and kept up their family's routine, throwing himself into baseball and a new project out in his woodshed. Olivia had another routine scan the week prior, so he worked to manage the anxiety that would bubble up in both of them before each check up, resigning himself to the fact they would always worry a little bit. In his mind, life moved on. Slowly, but surely, humans always adjusted to change even when the change was painful. Olivia, on the other hand, struggled more than he did. Those first few nights had been rough. She would look in on Lizzie's empty room, or sadly mention something that Charlie would've laughed about.

Ed had given her a few days to be gloomy before finally confronting her over a late afternoon coffee. Noah was at baseball practice and getting a ride home from one of their neighbors, leaving the husband wife some time alone. After taking advantage of an empty house and making love to his wife twice, he brought her a coffee to the couch and opened up the communication line.

"Liv, you gotta perk up a little bit," he said softly, not trying to push her, but also wanting to pull her out of the little funk. "I don't like that they moved either, to be honest. But we've gotta try to learn to be happy with the new normal. Dontcha think?"

Olivia had let out a sigh and nodded slowly but bit her bottom lip, clueing Ed into the fact that she was about to offer an argument. He was right.

"It's not necessarily about that," she had said, playing with the soft material of his navy t-shirt. "It's more like, well, I feel like we were just cheated, overall, in regards to time with Charlie."

Ed nodded, agreeing and having had similar thoughts himself.

"I know you likely feel it more than I do," she offered, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I mean, she's your blood."

"She's our daughter," Ed said firmly. "Period. None of this 'you feel it more or less than the other'. She's ours. Now, talk to me."

"Normally parents get eighteen or so years with their kids," she had reasoned. "They hold them, protect them from pain, teach them everything they should know, then release them into the world. We didn't get that with Charlie. By the time you got her back and into our lives, she had been so badly hurt. And I guess, well, I just feel cheated. I need more time. More time to help her heal, to love her, to protect her."

Ed held his wife tighter, her words speaking so deeply into his soul. She nailed exactly what he had been feeling for the last several years, if he was being honest. And he told her as much.

After that night, the couple tried to be more intentional about their feelings surrounding that particular part of their lives. They rehashed old pain, old hurts, and came out even closer and more in love. Ed was beginning to feel okay about the move and the separation, but Olivia wasn't there yet. So now as he stood in the front yard with Trevor, he was trying to size up whether the younger couple was happy or not.

"You both know that we are still just a phone call away right?" Ed asked, unsure how else to broach the subject with Trevor and wanting the young man to understand that Charlie was still their daughter, and they would still be there in a flash.

"We know that," Trevor said with an appreciative smile. "I'm hoping that this weekend will loosen her up a bit and we can all finally get into a routine and feel okay about it all."

Ed just nodded, thinking what Trevor said made sense.

"Also, I forgot Lizzie's floaties," he confessed. Ed just shrugged.

"I still have a bunch of swim gear in the shed," he said. "If not, I'll run out later."

Smirking, thinking back to his earlier conversation with Charlie, Trevor patted Ed's back. "Thanks, Ed," he said. "You're a good man."

The family of six set up camp under a large, multicolored umbrella that Ed had secured in the sand. Trevor spread out a couple of beach blankets while Olivia and Charlie smothered the young ones in sunscreen.

"Now, Lizzie is still little," Olivia explained to Noah. "So no taking her to the water to fill the buckets without an adult okay?"

Noah shrugged. He was used to being able to venture towards the waves and scoop up water for his sand castle construction, but Olivia was worried Lizzie wouldn't stay on the shore. So they laid down some new rules.

"Okay," he said. "That can be Daddy's job. Or Trevor."

Charlie laughed and winked at Noah. "That's a good job for Trevor, No," she said teasingly. "Go ahead and assign him."

Noah laughed at his sister and nodded in compliance. "Okay. Hurry up Mommy!"

"Okay, okay," she said, smiling and finishing rubbing the cream onto his ears. "All set. Have fun baby. Love you."

"Love you," Noah said breezily, grabbing up his supplies and turning to his niece. "Come on Lizzie! Time ta build!"

Happy to be back with her uncle, Lizzie followed along, toddling through the sand and diving next to Noah once he got set up. Listening to the sounds of their laughter, Olivia and Charlie finally leaned back in their chairs and adjusted their sunglasses.

"This sun feels amazing," Charlie said, eyes closed as she soaked in the rays. "Is the umbrella in a good spot?"

Olivia, still next to Charlie but her chair in the shade, just nodded and turned her head to her daughter. "Perfect," she said. "I miss the rays, but I'm still a little hesitant to just bake after having chemo."

"Makes sense," Charlie said. The woman fell silent for a bit, observing the kids as Ed and Trevor set up their own chairs to form a slight semi circle of adults around where Noah and Lizzie dug. Ed immediately reached for Olivia's hand and squeezed it.

"Okay?" he asked softly, and she nodded.

"Very," she said, looking around at her family. "I'm very okay right now."

The Tuckers stayed in that very spot for most of the day. As late afternoon neared, the women put a final round of sunscreen on the kids while Ed and Trevor began to set up what appeared to be a large spread of picnic food. Ed had a nice table that set up in the sand and Trevor had drug a second cooler from the car and opened it, revealing a bottle of prosecco along with some beer and another white wine. With the table finally filled with cheese, crackers, fruit and sandwiches, the women returned from where they had quickly rinsed sand from their hands and legs in the surf and ducked under the umbrella. Charlie plopped down by Trevor, diving for some cheese and crackers, while Olivia happily munched on strawberries and decided to sit right on Ed's lap. He looked around at his family with a proud smirk, which after a few minutes Charlie decided to call him on.

"Dad, what's with that face?" she asked, leaning over and popping another slice of pepper jack cheese into her mouth.

"Just observing my family," he said simply. "The kids building award winning structures in the sand, you and Trevor looking relaxed and happy, and my healthy wife in my lap? More than I could have ever asked for."

Momentarily stunned by Ed's impromptu speech, the four adults remained quiet for a bit.

"It's been a year," Charlie finally said, leaning forward and grabbing the prosecco. She popped the cork, laughing as it flew and landed right in the middle of Noah and Lizzie's castle.

"Hey!" he yelled, playfully giving them a look, before turning back to his task.

Charlie poured four glasses of the bubbly and passed them out, taking time to look at her family, much like her father had just done.

"No shit," Ed muttered, causing Olivia to smack his chest and the others to laugh. "But we got through it."

"I'll drink to that," Charlie said and raised her glass as the Tuckers celebrated all the trials they had weathered, and beaten.

"Together."

Ed finally collapsed onto the bed next to Olivia in nothing but his boxers, not even bothering to get under the covers yet.

"The sun is exhausting," he exclaimed, settling his hands on his stomach as he watched the ceiling fan whirl above them. Olivia, glasses perched on her nose as she read the new book Charlie brought for her, looked over at him and smiled, leaning down to kiss his nose.

"You worked hard out there," she cooed. Olivia took her glasses off and laid them on the nightstand, on top of the now closed book, and snuggled down into the bed, resting her head on Ed's bare chest. "Today was a good day."

"It really was," Ed agreed, shift so he was under the comforter and could feel Olivia's skin against his. "How are you feeling?"

"Good," she said. "I'm tired, more so than usual, but I feel really good."

"You'll get that Benson stamina back," Ed assured her. "Just takes time."

"I know," Olivia agreed. "Just happy to have that time…"

Ed pulled her closer at that comment, the couple resting in silence for a bit before he decided to move on with the conversation. "They seem okay. Happy."

Olivia just made a noise, her fingers tracing a pattern on Ed's chest. As good as it felt, Ed needed to question that slight noise his wife just made. "You don't think they are?"

"It's not that," she said. "It's just…"

She hesitated, so Ed rolled over and faced his wife, moving his hand to run over her short hair.

"I'm so glad this is back," he said softly, giving it a light tug and eliciting a smile. "Spit it out, baby."

"I didn't even know she cut her hair," Olivia finally blurted out, then almost ducked her head in embarrassment. "See? It's silly."

"If it bothers you, it isn't silly," Ed said softly. "Keep going."

"It just…I feel like our bond is being cut," Olivia said, tears immediately pooling in her eyes at the mere thought of any of her relationships with her family beginning to sever. "And I can't stop it…"

"Oh baby," Ed said, pulling her tight against his frame and kissing her forehead. "Change can be painful. And look, I'm still not totally convinced this was right. But you're not gonna lose your relationship with Charlie. I promise you."

"How can you be so sure?" she asked, clearly trying to stop the onslaught of tears.

"Because she needs you just as much as you need her," Ed explained. "So sure, maybe it's a little different now. And maybe she's struggling and trying to prove she's okay. But you'll figure out a way back in. I have no doubt that you, Olivia Tucker, my wife, will find a way to restrengthen that bond you have with our girl."

Not wanting to keep talking, because she was tired of feeling that specific anxiety, Olivia just mumbled her thanks and hope that he was right, and shifted against Ed's body, eliciting a groan. He quickly moved and had her on her back, settling between her legs and kissing at her neck.

"Allow me to help you keep your mind off of this," he simpered, licking, sucking and biting as Olivia began to squirm under him.

"I hate change," she moaned, apparently not quite done talking, but Ed was not deterred.

"Who does?" he retorted, then momentarily popped his head up from where he was busy leaving a mark behind her ear. "But, I can promise you one thing that will never change."

"What's that?" Olivia asked, hips wiggling a bit and her wry, lustful smirk returning to her face.

"How much I love you," he said simply. "Always."

And with that, this journey has come to an end. Thank you all so much for faithfully reading; and to those of you who faithfully reviewed...you da real MVPs. I hope this ending helps bring some closure, but also feels realistic. Life is never wrapped up in a neat little bow and when you've been through the amount of trauma that Olivia and Charlie have, there generally isn't even a bow. So yes, there are many loose ends and things up in the air. Angst still abounds. But that's life. And while I do not have plans to write another installment, those loose ends still leave room for one down the road if people are still interested.

That being said - thank you all for loving my stories, and my Charlie, almost as much as I do. Perhaps I'll see you on here again soon. #Tuckson #Always

JennBenson