hhhhhhhhhhello folks i have returned, finally, with the conclusion of this, The Fic That Got Far Too Out Of Hand. thank you for bearing with me despite it being literal months since my last update (tldr Life Got Busy), and thank you for all your comments and support on previous chapters.

enjoy this final chapter!

The noise of war is everywhere, there's so much noise – it's all-encompassing; it's caught in Gintoki's ears and his brain and his very bones. There's a rushing sound as blood spurts from the man's throat when he collapses into the mud, but Gintoki doesn't have time to dwell on it – not when there's another one of those Naraku bastards waiting to take him down, and another just past the first, and another, and another—

He hears a scream from behind him – Takasugi, he thinks, and moving on instinct he turns and cuts his way towards where his friend is.

(He knows, somewhere, that turning around is a mistake, turning around is what gets him caught and what gets Shouyou killed, but even if his subconscious mind knows how this memory will go, it knows just as well that changing the course of this scene will not change the course of history.)

And so Gintoki turns around, despite every one of instincts telling him not to, because his friend is in trouble, and he moves towards him – cuts down a man and another and another and each one falls bleeding to the ground, eyes staring at the sky, or maybe at the demon who killed them.

"Gintoki! Get away! RUN!"

He can see Takasugi now, struggling against rope bonds, and in the fraction of a second that it takes for Gintoki to process what he's seeing, he feels his own arms being pinned to his body. Ropes coil like snakes around his body, but no matter how hard he fights it he can't get loose – he's caught like a fly in a spider's web.

They throw him to the ground and the rough dirt presses into his cheek – he tries to look up but there's nothing to see, just am empty cliff's edge in front of him.

(He knows, somewhere, that this is not how the memory goes, but who is he to fight the whims of a dream?)

Behind him, Takasugi curses, and Katsura pleads, and behind them there's a presence – Gintoki can feel it, he can see it— He approaches, the white demon himself. Or maybe it's the red-with-blood demon, or the dirtied-with-mud demon, or perhaps it's just a murderer with unnaturally silver hair.

Footsteps crunch as they grow closer to where Gintoki kneels in the dirt, and pleading sobs rip from his friends' mouths, and every hair on Gintoki's body raises as shivers run up and down his spine. He turns his head back to look—

Crimson eyes, dark with fatigue. His own eyes.

Gintoki knows what comes next – the word passes his lips on a breath, hangs in the air.

"Thanks."

The Shiroyasha smiles. His eyes water.

He swings.

(There's screaming, someone is screaming.)

Gintoki opens his eyes.

He's laying on his back with Kagura and Shinpachi leaning over him, sharing matching concerned expressions. Gintoki lets out a sigh – silly of him to cause them worry them like this.

"I'm sorry," he says, lifting his arm to reach for them. "I'm here."

Shinpachi sniffs sadly, and Kagura squeezes her eyes shut. Scalding tears splash onto his face.

"Don't cry, Kagura," he says, lifting his arm to reach for her. "I'm here, it's okay."

"Goodbye, Gin-chan."

"Kagura, I'm here!"

"Gin-san, I…" Shinpachi looks lost, hopeless.

Gintoki lifts his arm to reach for him. "I'm here."

Shinpachi looks away and breaks into loud ugly sobs.

Gintoki lifts his arm—

He lifts—

He—

…

Gintoki's arms don't move from his sides, they haven't left his sides. He can't move them, they won't move.

His pulse quickens.

"Pattsuan! Kagura!"

His voice shatters into dust before it can so much as leave his throat. Above him, the kids lean back, and the lid of the coffin he's laying in slowly begins to swing shut.

"Kagura! Shinpachi!"

"Goodbye, Gin."

The last sliver of light disappears, and Gintoki is left alone in his box.

"No!"

The scream is loud, and it tears through his throat like a knife. His arms move now, and he raises them to beat on the underside of the lid.

"Hey! Come back! Shinpachi! Kagura!"

They need to come back. He's still alive, he's still alive, and they've left him—

"Help! I'm still here! Anybody!"

He claws at the wood in desperation, scratches and pounds with his fist until his hands are raw. Blood drips down his wrist – he doesn't care.

"Help me!"

There's a sharp crack and a split appears above him in the wood. Gintoki cackles in elation – he can do this, he can get out of here. He doubles his efforts, focusing on the weakness in his prison.

"I'm alive! Come back—"

The lid collapses inward, and dirt mixed with maggots tumble onto him from above.

Gintoki screams and sits bolt upright.

He's on the couch, not in his bed – he's woken up, but has he? Could it be another dream? After so many nights of so many horrible nightmares, can he really trust himself to wake up?

His breath is heaving, and he can feel the adrenaline, just like when he usually wakes up, but—

"Gin… chan…?"

Kagura is looking up from a copy of Jump, and Shinpachi is behind her with a matsui stick, having halted whatever cleaning he was doing to turn and stare at him. Both of their mouths are hanging open just a little bit, and all three of the Yorozuya team are frozen in place.

Time stops.

And then Kagura's finger twitches in preparation to put down the magazine, and the spell is broken, and sirens start blaring in Gintoki's head. Panic floods his body, his entire being – they can't, they absolutely cannot see him like this. He's vulnerable and terrified and not entirely sure if he's even awake or if anything is real and all Gintoki knows is that he needs to be away and out of their sight, immediately.

He's up in a flash, bolting for the door. A blanket he doesn't remember covering himself with slips off his body and tangles in his legs – he kicks it to the side and presses onward.

The blanket lost him some time, though, and Kagura is fast – the girl is practically made of reflexes, damn her, and her tackle has Gintoki on his knees well before he can so much as get in range of the door.

"Shinpachi, snap out of it and help me!"

Shinpachi starts – the whole chase happened so quickly, he'd still been standing still the whole time – and rushes towards them.

Meanwhile, Gintoki struggles against Kagura's brute strength, but she's got him pinned, and as soon as Shinpachi adds his own strength there's no hope of getting away. So Gintoki does the only thing he can think of – he curls into the fetal position to the best of his ability and pretends that maybe, just maybe, if he's still enough, they'll let him go.

Of course they don't – instead, he feels a hand running gently through his hair, and someone somewhere whispers, "It's okay, it was just a dream."

He curls in on himself even further. He wants to let himself be comforted, but he can't – he can't let his guard down. If this safety net gets ripped away from him because it turns out to be another product of his shitty mind… There's no way he can take that, not right now.

"Gin-san, it's us. We're here."

But how do I know? he thinks. How do I know this isn't another nightmare?

"It's not, Gin-san. You have to trust us."

Ah, shit. Had he said that out loud?

His thought is interrupted, however, by the sudden pain of someone's fist connecting with his upper arm.

"Kagura-chan! What are you doing?!"

"You can't feel pain in dreams, so you gotta punch people to make sure they're not dreaming!"

"Pinch, Kagura-chan, you're supposed to pinch people!"

Gintoki can't see their faces, but he knows exactly what they must look like right now; Shinpachi will be wearing that half-exasperated half-horrified look he gets when one of them does something stupid, and Kagura will have that self-satisfied expression – he can hear it in their voices.

He relaxes, just a little. "Bullshit. I've felt pain in my dreams before – that puts your theory out the window," he says lightly, testing the waters.

She laughs, and it's the best sound Gintoki's heard in weeks. "No it doesn't, that just means I'll have to punch you harder!"

One of the hands pinning him down disappears in tandem with Shinpachi's shout of Kagura-chan don't you dare, and a hint of a smile tugs at the corner of Gintoki's lips. He catches her fist with his hand when it lands – see, Kagura, you're not the only one with fast reflexes – and as much as it hurts his palm, he can tell she was pulling her punch. In the process of his reaction, he's unfurled himself enough to see their faces. Shinpachi catches his eye, and those brown eyes immediately soften.

"Gin-san, if you were having nightmares—"

Gintoki cuts him off. "I know, I know. I learned my lesson, alright?"

"Just tell us next time, 'kay?" Kagura flicks him in the centre of the forehead.

"Yeah, yeah, I will," he grumbles without resentment, and for the first time in a week the whole situation feels silly more than anything – look, see how the world has not, in fact, ended on account of night terrors. See how the kids don't care about your weaknesses.

"Anyways, the job paid really well, so we brought you something," Shinpachi says as he stands.

"Yes, finally!" Kagura bounces back on her heels with excitement. "I've been waiting for you to wake up since we got home, Gin-chan!"

"Have you now?" Gintoki smiles wryly as he picks himself up off the floor. While he and Kagura get comfortable on the couches, Shinpachi disappears into the kitchen, then emerges balancing three bowls of chocolate ice cream on his hands.

Gintoki's face breaks into a wide grin. "You two are the best, you know that?"

They answer with grins of their own, and a split second later the Yorozuya apartment is echoing with peals of laughter.

That night, Gintoki falls into a deep, dreamless sleep with ease, and when he wakes up in the morning the world feels bright and fresh and good—

He breathes deeply, stretches his back, and heads out of his room to start preparing breakfast.

thank you for reading! if you've got any final thoughts or questions, as always you can leave a comment here, or you can find me on tumblr at charmingstrangeness or on twitter at madameforeman

i have a handful of ongoing WIPs for gintama, so if you like my writing you can look forward to seeing more from me at some point :D

thanks again to everyone for sticking through this with me!