Parallels

Disclaimer: I don't own Natsume Yuujin-Chou.

Rating: K+

Warning: Unbeta'ed

Genres: General

Characters: Natsume Takashi, Nyanko-sensei/Madara

Summary: Natsume relates to his friends, struggling to accept that his view of both youkai and humans is unique and most likely, hard to understand (or accept for some) by these very same friends.

A/N: In fact, it comes from the episode/chapter where Natsume replies to Matoba that he had "made a promise" to Nyanko-sensei to have him by his side. Considering who was Matoba's ancestor, I thought that it was not quite vindictive but accidentally spiteful of Natsume (not that he realized it, being as nice as he is) to answer that way. It cracked me up when he said that.

Hope you'll enjoy!

Natsume sighed as he buried his head in Nyanko-sensei's white fur. The beast threw him a piercing look.

"What is it, Natsume?"

His voice, rumble, slightly shook the boy who didn't move from his position. He didn't answer instantly, and when he did, it was in a whisper.

"There isn't anyone who understands, is there?"

"Idiot." Madara replied reflexively. "You shouldn't let Matoba trouble you. In fact, you should let me eat him. It will be a good rid – "

"Sensei." Natsume cut him off chidingly despite the smile curling his lips up.

The youkai snorted and shifted, leaping to speed up the pace of their flight.

"My proposition still stands." He glanced again at Natsume. "In the meanwhile, don't worry your little brain about them. Focus on holding on, or we'll be home too late to eat Touko-san's delicious shrimps."

Natsume felt his smile soften as he agreed quietly, burrowed in the fur. He didn't voice his thoughts, content to bask into the moment.

In the (relative) safety of his mind, Natsume couldn't help but reflect on the people he had met and more or less befriended that knew of his ability. All of them were patient, tolerant and sympathetic, helping him out when he needed it and forcefully taking care of him when he obliviously decided that resolving whatever problem there was, was more important than himself. He was immensely grateful to them, for accepting him as he was instead of shunning him or accusing him of telling lies. Thanks to them, his life had suddenly taken a better turn, still frightening and complicated, but less lonely and less sorrowful. He had found warm people who were ready to welcome him with open arms and a soft smile.

And yet, sometimes, Natsume still had the impression that he couldn't tell them. It wasn't exactly about the Book of Friends, though it played a great part, it was vaster than that. His thoughts or rather, his perspective about both yôkai and humans, was different. Seemingly too different to be understood.

He needed to be blind and deaf to ignore how anyone who came in contact with spirits tended to fear them at best and outright hated them at worst.

Natsume didn't. He had, when he was younger and misunderstood and hunted down and shunned, but as he grew up and met Sensei and the others, he had learnt that yôkai were so much more than mindless monsters finding him delicious. He had learnt that they were just like humans, feeling pain, sorrow, happiness, love and everything in between. He had learnt that they had things or friends to protect. He had learnt that they had things to teach and to learn. They were just people, unconventional people with either terrifying powers or amusing faces, but still. Humans and yôkai were more alike than anyone could suspect. Of course, yôkai followed different principles and obeyed to old laws that humans had forgotten or had never known. While they were alike, they still were different to a point that their thoughts were sometimes alien to Natsume. It was a lot like meeting someone from a different culture and tripping over quiproquo, misunderstandings and embarrassing mistakes.

Natsume had understood that and accepted it. He mused that it was probably the reason why he had more and more facilities dealing with yôkai and befriended them a little bit more easily, to the point when, sometimes, it was less difficult to speak with them than it was with humans.

This acceptance he had of yôkai, this perspective he had on them, he didn't find it in his friends' minds.

Tanuma and Taki were probably the ones who were the closest to understand him. While they had suffered because of yôkai, their recent meetings with the spirits were less painful and more eye-opening than before. They could somewhat understand why Natsume reacted in some way but not completely. Their fear was still holding them back, whether it was about them or about Natsume who was always involved in some problems one way or another. He pretended that he didn't notice some days when they stuck to him a little bit closer than usual or scanned him up and down as if to reassure themselves that he was fine, that their nightmares had been just that – a nightmare. Natsume felt guilty but he didn't really regret it, too relieved and glad to have people he could confide in – even if he still had difficulties to do so. Still, there were times when he would speak of the yôkai and he would catch an odd look in their eyes, a look that Natsume knew well for encountering it plenty of times, speaking of confusion with a sliver of doubt. It was painful despite being used to it. However, Natsume was stubborn and continued telling them what he found out about yôkai, trying to widen Tanuma's and Taki's perspectives.

He also tried to do so with both Natori and Matoba, the two people who really could see yôkai as he did. It was even more difficult for the former and downright impossible for the latter.

Natsume didn't know a lot about Natori but he suspected that there were scars beneath the smile, just as he did, that were deep enough to harden his heart. Loneliness was wrapped around the exorcist despite the presences of his shiki. He had built up a wall made of charming manners to keep away people without seeming to and a tough stature to intimidate away yôkai. Reaching out to Natsume had probably been one of the most difficult move he had made. Accepting Hiragi as a shiki was, perhaps, a sign that Natori was trying to connect with yôkai. The wariness in the exorcist's eyes, though, spoke of deep mistrust. Understanding and accepting were still a long way to go for Natori. Natsume could easily see it in the protective stance and guarded eyes his sort-of older friend took around him when they were in yôkai presence – including Sensei.

The fact that Natori had always shared a body with a yôkai who refused to crawl on one of his leg, planting suspicion and horrified fear in his mind, did not help any.

The worst of them, though, was incontestably Matoba. The guy treated both people and yôkai as pawns or objects to manipulate to his liking. With a yôkai constantly hunting him down to devour his eye, it wasn't surprising that he had grown with loathe in his heart. Natsume was sure that they were plenty of reasons for Matoba to act as a total jerk but still. His thoughts and principles were too foreign to Natsume for him to appreciate the experienced exorcist and head of clan. His words were venom concealed in rational persuasion when speaking about the yôkai, treating them as less than sentient and less than sensitive. When Natsume had thought that he had finally found someone who would understand what he had lived through and what he had discovered, it was to realize that Matoba was in no way what he thought the exorcist would be. His hopes promptly shattered, he had been horrified by both Matoba's personality and experience. His cruelty had reminded him of how he had been treated by both yôkai chasing him for his blood, flesh and power, and the humans who had rejected him countless times.

Natsume appreciated the irony that he related more easily with the yôkai than he did with Matoba.

Natsume sighed as he managed to sink down even more in the soft fur, soaking the warmth emanating from the white beast. He wondered if his grandmother shared his views. From the memories he had seen, he doubted it. There was too much loneliness and reluctance to connect with other souls to really empathize with the beings she had met.

"We're almost there, Natsume." Madara's voice cut through his morose thoughts. "So, drop your depressed expression and put on your smile or you'll worry the Fujiwara."

"Yes, Sensei." He replied wryly, strengthening up.

Madara snorted. "Really, you're such a brat. Worrying about useless things again. You should just give me the Book of Friends and stop involving yourself with insects like Matoba."

Natsume smiled, genuinely amused and fond. He reached with his left hand to caress the soft fur, beneath one of the ears. He didn't reply and turned his gaze towards the setting sun, banishing his thoughts in a corner of his mind. Nyanko-sensei was right. He should appreciate the moment, basking into its peacefulness.

For now, returning to the Fujiwara's welcoming and warm home was the most important.

A/N: Thanks for reading and don't hesitate to point out any mistakes or share your thoughts!

See you next-time~