Welcome to chapter five of SaLR! I was so glad to see the love it was getting, even after being left idle for so long. Bottom line is this: Radar's legs are a'shakin', and you're lovin' it!

Crisper: Uh, yeah, I'm sure that phrase is already used by a major french-fry entity.

Oh, Crisper, you're a drawer used to keep veggies and fruit fresh.

Crisper: what.

REVIEWS!

ItzJaiden: You really like this story that much? Thank you! Also, very weird response from Radar. You think he'd be nicer. I wonder if something's up.

Toni42: I immediately recognized her in E1S2, when Radar talked about the delegate of Boomtown. Got excited just hearing her name. When I was writing this, I wondered 'hmm, what went down with that, anyways?', so I added it in! Glad you liked it. As far as Eli seeming 'oddly familiar' to Radar, maybe we'll be able to get a better look into that….

TealEmpress: Glad you liked her so much. This is kind of a continuation of the previous RR, but as I was writing Nohr, I wanted to really give a reason for Radar to later tell Jesse she was 'very odd'. It wasn't too hard, but I'm just glad she didn't turn out a cliched griefer-character. Once again, though, that was a strange reaction from Radar, just when you might've thought he was getting it. Maybe he'll learn soon….

Alice Forshadow: I can't go back and check for myself (50% grounded, here), but when you said you wrote a bunch of sad fics for Lizzie, I think I remembered something: weren't you the one who'd wrote that fanfic with the letters to Stacy? Forgive me if I'm wrong. I have a hazy memory of the story, but I just thought I'd ask.

Watcher321: Even smol beans have their bad days.

NoItsBecky: Hey, girl! Long time no see! Guess we could also say the same about Prison Radar. Speaking of which….

I guess I forgot to tell you I snuck a Capri-sun behind my mom's back.

!THUG LYFE!

HYT YT, CRYSPR

Crisper: (rolls eyes and hits it)

"You want to help?"

"Yeah."

"Leave me alone, then." Radar turned to leave.

"Wait, what? No, I don't think you understand that—"

"I can't talk to you anymore, Eli. Founding Day's tomorrow, and I can't waste anymore time." He walked straight ahead. He didn't see the confused look on Eli's face.

"But, Radar, that's not—" Eli's voice faded with the distance.

Radar listened closely for extra footsteps, but didn't hear any. Leaving that annoyance behind was the right thing to do, for himself and for Beacontown. He didn't need Eli, not even for writing in his book. He was sure he remembered everything he was supposed to do. He knew he'd likely have a new pair of glasses by tomorrow. Maybe there was enough time tomorrow for last minute remembrances. Everything was finally starting to go right.

But why did he feel like he was missing something? His schedule horridly neglected, he had plenty of reasons to feel that way, but this felt deeper than a few undone activities, or even a lot. He couldn't shake that weird feeling, gazing at Eli as he made his final plea. What did he see in him, besides an annoyance and a setback? It was something so familiar and so close to him he couldn't put his finger on it. But it would just have to wait. There was work to be done, people to be helped, and checkboxes to be checked… if he could see them. Which he could! He didn't need any help at all, especially not from that troublemaker.

"Hey, Randy! Hello!" A blur of yellow walked up to him, accompanied by a white one. The closer the figure got, the better he could see the blue and white stripes on her shirt.

"His name is 'Ralph', Stampy… wasn't it?"

"No, it's Radar." Why was that so hard for everyone? He'd forgotten to thank Nohr for getting it right, but she had called him skinny.

"Sorry about that, then." Stampy said. "Have you seen Jesse anywhere? We've been looking all over for him."

"Oh, yeah. He caught a head-cold, right before the big day."

"Aww, man." Stacy said. "Oh well, Stamps. There's always tomorrow."

"Actually, you know what? Jesse told me to fill in for him today, so, anything I can do to help?"

"Absolutely!" Stampy's voice made Radar flinch. "Stacy here," he jabbed a thumb and a disgusted look her way, "wants to make pie to give away at FD. We've been arguing all day, but she still hasn't gotten it through her head that cake is the perfect treat for—"

"Stampy's just close-minded to the idea that maybe cake isn't the end all, be all of desserts."

"I don't think it's the end all, be all of desserts, Stace. It's the end all, be all of everything, obviously. I have it for breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner and dessert, so who's close-minded now?" He put his hands on his hips.

"Only a close-minded cake-fanatic would eat cake every single day."

"Says the girl who eats pie every meal every day."

"Stampy, I don't." They both faced Radar's direction, and he knew he'd been enlisted in the war. "So, what do you think? Delicious pie or… cake?"

"Stop saying it like that! You make it sound like a disease!" Stampy yelled, getting into her face.

Radar quickly separated the two before a fight could break out. "Whoa! Calm down. Surely there's a way to solve this without a big fight."

Stampy sneered at Stacy. "He's right." He leaned over to Radar and whispered. "You really are taking after Jesse."

Radar felt his cheeks tinge. "You really think so?"

"Flattery, it's his last resort." Stacy said, pulling some wheat out of her pockets.

Radar frowned. "You mean you don't think I'm taking after Jesse?"

"Oh, of course you are. In fact, I'm depending on it. Here," she handed him wheat, some pumpkins, sugar and eggs, "do what you know Jesse would do."

"Wait!" Stampy added some milk to the batch, staring daggers at Stacy. "You'll need milk to make a cake, because that is what you have in mind, right?"

"No, he's making pie!" With that, she added another pumpkin to the growing stack. Radar felt himself starting to topple under the growing weight. He walked off before they could worsen his burden.

"Make the right de—"

"—Do what Jesse would do!"

"I believe in—"

"Cake, Radar, cake!"

Radar felt his way around various blocks (thank goodness there were no cacti in Beacontown) before he could find a crafting-grid. He put down a few ingredients down and lifted it proudly for the world to see. Little footsteps clicked behind him, and a small hand tugged on his green hoodie. He turned around.

"Excuse me, mister, why do you need a shovel?"

A shovel? Radar gave his 'cake' a double-take and sighed wearily. "I don't even know, kid."

"Can I have it?"

"Do you have a digging permit?" The child stared at him and moved a hand to his face, keeping it there a few seconds. Radar cringed. Was this kid picking his nose?

"What's a digging permit? And why are you squinting like that?"

"Because I can barely see."

"Well, how do you know I'm here?"

"Because I can kind of see you."

"Okay." Radar watched this kid a few seconds more. He finally pulled his hand away from his face. "Hey! I got a booger on my finger! Can you see the booger on my finger, too?"

"Well, that's not very nice! Here, take this and go, but don't make a mess." He dropped the shovel in the child's hand. After shrieking in a horrendous fit of excitement, he ran off. Radar shuddered before going back to his crafting. He carefully picked up something round. Was it an egg, or a stone? He squeezed it gently in his hand and it squished and crunched. He groaned as yolk and sticky albumin dripped down his arm. He picked up another one, then some wheat, and finally the sugar.

"Why are you mixing grass and sand with those eggs?" Came the same young voice. Radar breathed harshly through his nose and swept the grid clear, not caring to save that egg. Time to try this again. He picked up an egg. "Do you need some help?"

"No, I'm fine."

"But that's a rock." Radar picked up the 'egg', seeing for the first time how grey it was. "You need help."

"No, I don't, and even if I did, it's not like there's anyone to help me right now. Everyone's busy."

"Well, why don't you ask that guy over there who's been standing at a distance and watching your every move like a stalker? He looks bored over there all by himself."

Radar spun around. "What?!" The kid looked in the direction of the infamous personality, sticking his finger back into his nose.

"The man. Now he's walking over here with a cake and a pie." Radar squinted. Sure enough, Eli was heading his way. This guy didn't let up. "I'm gonna stay over here in case he wants to share, but either way I'm content." Radar caught the boy's hand before he could put it into his mouth.

"Please, don't. And go wash your hands." He walked towards Eli. "Eli, I thought I told you to leave me alone!"

"Yeah, I heard, but I'm not here to bother you. I just thought I'd, y'know, leave these with you." He held out the two treats. "From what I saw, you were gonna be stuck here a little while, wasting eggs, making sand and…." He cleared his throat, "I thought you needed a hand, is what I meant to say."

"Eli, why are you doing this?"

"I told you, I just want to help. It's like this insatiable urge to get things done, y'know?" He ran a hand through his hair. "The goal is to get things done before FD, and if you can't do your job, then we don't reach that goal, is how I see it. So, I want to help, I guess." Eli really did seem familiar this way. The cogs in Radar's brain were starting to turn. Eli sighed heartlessly. "Alright, sorry for stalking you. I guess I'm headed home, so… good luck." He put the goodies into Radar's hands and turned around to leave. There Eli went. All was right in the universe.

But of course, it wasn't. It took him a bit to realize it, but when it hit Radar he knew what he had to do.

"Eli, wait." Eli glanced at Radar over his shoulder. "I think you should stay… help out." Radar knew he was probably making a mistake. But he also knew that Jesse may have very well had the same doubts about him as a helper. The truth was scary, but so enlightening.

"Really? After everything I put you through?" Radar nodded and hummed. "I mean, it was a lot. Like, I dragged you through the city—"

"Yeah, bu—"

"—I made fun of you in front of everyone—"

"Eli,"

"—And I stalked you like a creepy dude, and made you apologize to—"

"Eli, is it alright if you try not to remind me?"

Eli chuckled and rubbed his neck. "Right, sorry."

"It's okay. I mean, I get it, you want to help. Trust me, I know how that feels. I just wish I would've noticed it a lot sooner." He noticed the cake and pies still in his hands. "Well, I guess we should probably hand these to them, and then get back to work?"

"Good plan... thank you."

One word: Deadlines. Had to cut things short, get some stuff done, but at least Radar finally figured it out, right? Well, close it, Crisper!

Crisper: Thank goodness, no more thug life.

CLOZE IT, CRYSPRR!

Crisper: For the love of fudge! (CLOZES YT)