After I woke up when I passed out, we both went downstairs to have lunch. Auntie was there sitting at the head of the table using her phone while she waited for us. Komachi was also there to our surprise, and Hachiman and I non-verbally agreed to act as if nothing had happened. It was surprisingly harder than I thought…

Auntie was the same and acted normally, though she'd sometimes stare at Hachiman's hands as we ate. The thought that those same hands a few minutes ago e-explored my b-body made me want to die from the embarrassment. It feels especially naughty since his Mother is right in front of me, and whenever we'd lock eyes, the memory of the event would come back and causing us to immediately look away. His Mother being the one to catch us was the worst person possible… It would have been slightly better if it were Komachi, but that little brat is quite talkative and I'm afraid that she won't be able to hold a secret such as that. Hachiman must have noticed, and diverted Komachi's attention to himself so she won't notice us.

After lunch, Komachi and Auntie were the ones who washed the dishes and we went back upstairs to take out stuff and transfer to the coffee table in the living room. Komachi went to sleep and Auntie was at the dining table reading a book. I was the one who suggested it and he didn't protest. J-Just in case something like before happened again… I also did it to give Auntie some peace of mind so she would be able to keep an eye on us.

N-Not that I'm hoping for it to happen again or anything…

M-Maybe…

It took us quite a while, but we were finally done with all of our homework for the Summer. It was already 4:00 pm and I stretched my arms upwards causing some of my joints to pop. "Ah~! Finally!"

From across the table, Hachiman eyed my chest with interest before looking up to meet my eyes. H-He's gone really cheeky and bold huh, not even bothering to be d-discreet now… He had enough restraint earlier to not cope them a feel, e-even though I wouldn't have minded it. I hope he doesn't do this kind of stuff when school resumes…

"Good work Saki-chan~…" He lazily said in a drawled out manner and his eyes returned downwards to stare at my pair. My eye twitched in annoyance as a slight blush dusted my cheeks and I lightly kicked his leg.

"H-Hachiman, I hope you're not getting any stupid ideas in your head…" I whispered as I covered them with a book.

He shrugged and started organizing his things now that we were done. "Nothing of sort…" He said in a monotone and emotionless voice, I followed him and put mine as well into the bag that I brought with me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and I felt a pair of eyes turn its attention on us. It must be Auntie, I think she's just pretending to read that book and is in fact observing us.

I checked the time on my watch. I still had an hour before I go to work at the local grocery store. I may be the one who told him to relax and stay put at home during the summer break, but I'm also doing extra work hours. I'm not going to let a single day go to waste since I'm saving it up for the future.

"Thanks for today Hachiman, now we don't have to worry about homework anymore." I raised my hand gave him a high-five. I stood up and went to his Mother who was at the dinner table. She looked up from her book and forced an awkward smile which then made me remember the events earlier.

"S-Saki dear! Leaving so soon…?" There was some pink on her cheeks, and I'm sure that she's trying her best.

"Y-Yeah… I have to go to my part-time job…" I looked down and rubbed my arm. This was WAY more embarrassing than I thought…

Auntie leaned to the side to look behind me and called her son's attention. "Haa-chan, will you be walking Saki to her house?"

"A-Ah, no. That won't be necessary. I'm fine going alone." I say quickly before he could form a reply. I'd like some time to myself, if even for just a few minutes. Having him with me will probably do more harm than good. I can already see myself stuttering and making a fool of myself, before sprinting home as fast as possible with a massive blush on my cheeks. I-I don't want him to tease me until I pass out again like earlier after all…

Hachiman wordlessly nodded and got my bag and went to the door. I was about to followed him after saying my goodbyes to his Mother, but she gently held my sleeve just as I was about to turn around. The way to their entrance wasn't a straight path, from the dining room where we were, you had to pass through the living room then to the corridor where the door was waiting. The living room wasn't separated by walls, but any conversation that we had here would be not be within earshot from someone standing at the entrance.

"Haa-chan! I'll just speak to Saki-chan for a bit!" We heard a low reply coming from the direction where he went.

Auntie looked up at me with a small warm smile and made me sit down. I looked to the side, embarrassed but followed her nonetheless. She had a motherly air around her that calmed me down and cleared my thoughts as I looked into her eyes. I already have an idea on what she want to talk about.

"So, Saki dear…do you like my Son?" She asked. A very straightforward question as expected from his Mother.

I didn't even hesitate in answering her, and instead of me stuttering from the question, my reply came clearly and earnestly. "Yes I do. I like him very much."

She smiled wider and giggled while covering her mouth with her hand. "Oh my, so straightforward~. I like that. If you don't mind me asking, what do you see in him?"

It took a little while for me to reply since I was still forming the right words in my head. "Well, he was my first friend in school, so that was a big impact on me I guess…" I scratched my cheek, remembering the times that I spent time with him last year and now. Auntie nodded and urged me to continue.

"Ummm, he is very kindhearted, and doesn't hesitate to help out others in need. He's confident in school, even when there were bad rumours floating around him, he held his head high and continued as if they weren't there. He chooses to be by himself, but doesn't mind others who flock to him for his help, assistance, advice or just to hang out with him. Hachiman was very serious during the previous school year, but on the rare occasions where he would smile and chuckle, it would make my heart skip a beat. Now he's a slightly expressive, but sometimes I think he's trying too hard, and suddenly reverts back to his former self. He's such a huge tease too… He'd tease me when we're alone together and makes terrible jokes every now and then. I feel very lucky that I get to see that side of him.

He's such a sweetheart. I think I know a few girls that like him. Of course, he's dense and doesn't notice them in the slightest. The fact that he's a gentleman really attracted a lot of attention, it even made some of the boys in class self-conscious and imitate him. He's really cool too… The way he plays badminton and tennis at school, he's really good. I've even seen him play a few times with the football club. During our General Education class a few weeks ago, he amazed everyone through his piano skills, the adviser of the Music Club was so impressed that he immediately asked him to join them."

"Ara, Haa-chan never mentioned that. Joshirou and I get home late, but sometimes I'd hear him play when he's not using headphones…" Auntie looked quite surprised and had a look of pride in her eyes that didn't go away as I spoke about her Son.

"Of course he wouldn't, he's too humble to even mention something like that." I laughed and she joined me shortly after.

She narrowed her eyes and sported a coy-look. "Now, tell me about these…other girls…that have their eye on my Son~…" It could be just me, but I thought she sounded a bit overprotective when she spoke. I guess it's understandable, seeing that he is her firstborn Son after all.

"I'm not so sure, it's just a guess really." I shrug in all honestly.

Auntie smiled and studied me silently. I saw myself reflected in her eyes, the girl that I saw started too look nervous and anxious. Hachiman might have inherited his Father's eyes, but I think he got both of his perception and observations skills from both parents.

She started giggling after a short while. "Oh my~! I didn't know my Son got that sort of attention. Now, Saki dear…" Her hand over mine.

"You're a good girl, and I like you very much to be with my Son. I can vouch for my husband that he'll approve of you as well…" My heart skipped a beat at her words and I was about to jump and hug her for joy, but my spirits instantly fell when she continued.

"...but I don't think he's ready to make that kind of step yet." She smiled sadly and let go.

I was speechless.

It was like I was slapped. My mind was going over and over on what she said, but I couldn't make any sense of it. Did I mishear her? No, I definitely didn't. Her words were clear. My lips trembled, but I still managed to make out a barely audible reply.

"W-Why…?"

She smiled sadly and looked to the side, the light in her eyes was gone. "I fear that I will upset him very much if I tell you that myself… I'm sorry Saki, but I can't tell you. He has to be the one to tell you that himself." She shook her head, as if recalling a bitter memory. "My Son… Sometimes he has this look in his eyes, I've noticed it a few times but never thought too much on it at first. But when I get a closer look at them, it's like I'm seeing a completely different person, someone that's not him… When he spaces out and stares at nothing in particular, I see it clearly. I don't know if he has done something like that at school, but… There's something wrong with him…" The tone in her voice told me that she felt afraid and utterly lost. Her eyes were the same when I gazed into them, her youthful eyes, always full of energy and life looked as if they had aged 30 years as we spoke.

I moved forward to comfort her but she raised a firm hand to stop me from doing so. I reluctantly followed her command.

I...I don't understand. What does she mean by that?

"Ah, forgive me. Just a Mother's instinct taking over and all…!" She began laughing it off, but I know that she was in pain. But I can't tell what was the reason behind it.

She looked up at me and pinched my cheek, trying to make me feel better. "Now now! Don't look so sullen, you'll ruin this pretty face of yours~!" She giggled, for both our sake's, I forced a smile on my face.

"I'm not trying to tell you to stay away from him or anything like that. It's…It's not the right time yet. I have a feeling that if you tell him your feelings now, you'll ruin something very precious that you both share. I know it's a selfish request knowing that you might get hurt…but please continue to be his friend."

I don't know what she meant by that, but I made sure to remember her words. "Of course I will." I slowly nod. Even though I don't know what he's hiding, what I do know is that I will be there to help him out as his friend.

That's what friends are for.

After a short hug and a kiss to my cheek, I said goodbye to her and made my way to the door of their household. I found him sitting on the ground leaning on the wall while playing on his phone. He briefly looked up at me and immediately got up with my bag in hand.

I noticed him eyeing me as I changed my shoes. It wasn't the lecherous kind of gaze, it was one that saw my body movements and studied them carefully to find out something. He must have felt and noticed that something was off. I pretended not to notice, but I had a feeling that he knew that too. We stepped out of his house and he handed me my bag.

"Thanks again Hachiman." I say and gave him a slight bow.

Strangely, he didn't try and stop me.

"You're welcome."

Without any warning, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in for a tight hug. Even though I'm one of the taller girls in class, I felt small in his warm embrace. It took me by surprise and I unconsciously let go of my bag.

"H-H-Hachiman…?! Wha-?!" I say but I stopped when I felt him rub the back of my head, as if to calm me down.

"You looked like you needed a hug. I don't know what you and Mother talked about, and it's perfectly fine if you keep it to yourself, but it definitely put some strain on you…" I relaxed when he whispered those words to my ear. Reluctantly, I put my arms around him and returned his embrace and nuzzled against his chest, taking in his scent.

"...T-Thanks…"

"Mmm… Kei-chan would be upset if her Haa-chan made Saa-chan come home looking very sad and down." He said and gently continued patting my head.

I pouted and looked up to him, my thoughts from earlier going away as he held me in his arms. "If you say that too much, Komachi is sure to get jealous…"

He smirked and chuckled. "Oh I think she already is…" I join him before I started feeling his hands that were in my front slowly go from my stomach upwards. A slight blush formed on my cheeks and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"O-Oi, what do you think you're doing… There are people around you k-know…" I quickly whispered and looked behind me to see that there were in fact none.

He smirked when I returned to look at him. "Oh whatever could you mean… I'm not doing anything…" He whispered into my ear as I whimpered from his hot breath. He wasn't stopping… G-Geez, what's gotten into him... Teasing me l-like this, in broad daylight outside even… Don't tell me that it hasn't gone away yet?!

O-Oh…but I won't deny that he was a way with his hands…

"Do you want me to bite you again~?" I say sweetly at him with a menacing undertone. My words dripped with sweetness enough to kill a person.

"That depends on where you'll bite me…" He grinned and let me go.

I blushed madly and I really wanted to hit and kick him for making me feel this way. But I know that even if I tried he'll just grab me by the wrists or something… "S-Shut up…"

"By the way, are you free tomorrow?" He asked as he put a hand on his hip.

"Hmm, not really." I say after remembering the day was, I had a day off tomorrow.

"Do you mind if we go somewhere?" He had this contagious and very relaxed expression on that made me forcefully calm myself down on what he was asking.

"I don't mind… Where are we going…?" He flicked my forehead and I yelped in surprise.

"Oho, excited, are we~? That's a surprise, I'll tell you the details tonight." He grinned and motioned at his watch. "Anyway, shouldn't you get going?"

I had completely forgotten why I was going home earlier than usual, and after I checked the time myself, I picked up the bag that I dropped and bid him farewell. I was only around 15 meters away from him when he suddenly called out to me.

"Saki! Make sure to bring some extra clothes!" He said in a voice loud enough for me to hear despite the distance.

"Ok…?!" I gave him a confused nod and a final wave before continuing and not looking back.

I began thinking about what Auntie said. I don't really get what she meant… It was like she's telling that he's hiding something. As for what exactly, I have no idea. I've never seen him make the face that she described to me, or maybe I'm not as perceptive and observant as I initially thought. If he is hiding something, it must be really personal. I just hope and pray from the bottom of my heart that it isn't hurting him in some way.

More importantly…

Extra clothes…? I wonder where he's taking me…

When Saki turned her back to me as she continued walking off in the distance, and soon turned at the corner…

I dropped the act.

The pleased expression I had on my face instantly turned into an unreadable one. I mentally sighed in relief and I relaxed my tense and hard body.

My exchange with Hayama a few days ago was very fruitful, and I gained many insights. I felt as if another eye within me was opened, and I saw a number of possibilities that I have never considered before. I'm sure it was because I was too stubborn for my own good that I didn't see such things.

I looked down on my hands, the same one that intimately touched her body and held her close to mine. The warmth that she exuded was gone, yet I still smell the scent of her perfume on me. The softness and smoothness of her skin was unreal and unlike my own, I remember how I traced my fingertips up her thighs and barely touched her bosom as her eyes shone with desire and lust, wordlessly telling and urging me to do more.

One way or another I'll have to do something before things escalate, maybe a hint or two or outright tell her bluntly. I have pushed her buttons, and I'm sure that she's thinking about me as well as the events that transpired today. This will definitely keep her up for the next few nights. After everything that has happened today, I doubt that she will act normally around me like before. As for me, well…I can say that I feel quite myself as usual, glad even. After all…

It was all just an act.

The warm smiles.

The blushes on my face.

The stutters as I spoke.

The playful and flirty teases.

The tickling.

The soft touches.

The intimate touching.

The embarrassment.

The attempt to kiss her.

All of it.

This was…a test.

I did all of that to confirm my suspicions, and I was right. I always knew I was right, but I forced myself not to acknowledge it. I realized that I have always been aware since a few months ago.

Kawasaki Saki likes me.

She seeks to take one step further in our relationship, to elevate our current one as "Friends" into something "More". This test finally proved the notion that she harbours romantic feelings for me. I played with her around my fingers, as if she were a toy that I used to entertain myself. I took advantage of her emotions and senses to further my own ends, just so I could reach the conclusion that I myself did not believe. At first, I thought it was just a simple infatuation, something that will go away on it's own. But it was in fact something completely else…

Kawasaki Saki loves me. Not as a friend, but as a woman would love a man that she holds romantic feelings for.

That was the entire reason why I called her today.

The scary thing was that I did not feel guilty in doing it…not in the slightest. I felt absolutely nothing inside as we were in my room. Everything that I did and happened, I planned it out right from the very beginning.

I knew she would get flustered and chase me after I took her photo. I knew that we would fall on the bed together. I knew what to do to get her beneath me. I knew what sweet nothings to whisper to her ear. I knew that she would allow me to touch and feel her smooth and soft skin. I knew that she would eventually yearn for a kiss as I pretended to get carried away and my rational thinking clouded with emotions.

I also knew when my Mother would walk into my room. I explicitly told her to "Just come to my room to call us."

If she were a little late, then Saki would have taken my first kiss. Not that I don't mind giving it to her, she's a good girl. But if I did, even I know that there will be irreversible consequences. Either way, it didn't really worry me if things got to that point if it meant that my little test went through successfully. A kiss is just a kiss after all.

I noticed something silvery-blue on my shirt, it was a piece of Saki's hair that somehow stuck to me.

Unfortunately for her, I can't reciprocate her feelings. Not with the way I am right now. Not with these thoughts swirling around and whispering in my head, being reminded of it every second of every day. I wonder what would be her reaction if I told her that the "Me" that she knows was just a collection of lies and deceits formed into a fake and temporary persona…? I honestly think that she would be very upset at me… It won't even come as surprising if he hates me for it. A tiny part within me wants to say that I won't deny my actions if I were confronted about it…but I highly doubt that I'll do that.

I care for her, she's my friend. I'll always be grateful to her for accepting someone like me. She's dear to me, just like Hiratsuka-sensei, Shiromeguri-senpai, Yui, Hina and Yumiko.

If I did force myself to like her the same way she likes me then it's just being unfair to the both of us. After all, I'm just a fake with multiple personalities and personas. She doesn't deserve a literal nobody like me.

Right now, Saki will just remain as a friend to me. And I intend to keep it that way no matter what. I'd like to maintain the status quo unless something happens to force me to decide otherwise.

I sighed and sat down on the doorstep. I felt as if I was carrying the weight of a thousand tonnes on my shoulders. Even though it was quite sunny, the floor felt deathly cold against my hands.

I wonder how many masks I have. I think I have lost count on the number of times I've tried one and threw it away. I have a quite a number that I always keep within me, ready to be worn depending on the right person before me or situation that I find myself in. It was hard at first, the constant changing. But then it felt natural natural as time passed by, I reveled and grew proud of my twisted skill even.

I have indirectly lied, deceived and manipulated so many people. I think I may have grown accustomed to these guilty feelings inside me since I no longer feel it, disgusting as it may be.

I faked kindness with the populace to gain a good reputation.

I faked helpfulness to those in need for them to feel indebted to me.

I tried to be as humble as possible since a person of my background might get called an upstart at the slightest provocation.

I did my best in removing and dispelling any bad rumours about me while acting like I'm not bothered about it.

I tried to smile more, but the unfamiliarity of it made my facial muscles hurt so much that I just gave up on it entirely.

The mask that I'm wearing right now…I have only used it a few times before. The last time that I wore this was when I manipulated Tobe into helping me out with Sumiya Yuuko's case a month or two ago. It was so easy that I didn't even make any notable effort, he's too much of a kind idiot and I honestly fear for him in the future. Being taken advantaged of and used by trashy, fake and cunning people like myself.

The fact that I even keep one around my sister and parents feels extremely wrong to the point that it would cause me to have countless of sleepless nights just thinking and reflecting on the matter. I would wake up in the early hours of the morning, sitting on the sofa and staring at the television yet not paying it any attention. The warm cup of milk on the table would grow cold since I would ignore it for hours on end. Even Kamakura grew concerned and would hop onto my lap and shoulders and lick my hand and hair, as if to make me feel better. It got so worse that I had to resort to swallow my pride and dignity to secretly purchase cosmetic products that would lift my dark and heavy eyebags so as to look healthy and normal as possible. It was the fact that the people around me might ask about it and grow concerned that forced me to do so. Even though I managed to maintain my normal looks, the lack of sufficient sleep and energy made me feel nauseous and dizzy and I remember vomiting once or twice in the boy's restroom at school after I made sure that I was alone.

Not to mention that I would intake absurd amounts of energy drinks just to have the energy to walk and go around school, lunch was a saving grace since I would eat as much food as possible and take a quick nap to get some of my strength back. Yumiko and Saki grew concerned about me but I successfully managed to allay their worries. There was a time that I drank too much of it and my hands were starting to shake and my heart was palpitating to alarming levels.

I secretly take pride in my twisted skill, yet that does not mean that I am perfect. I took Saki's hair and looked at it while thinking of nothing in particular.

And so the list of people that I need to apologize in the future continues to grow…

Hmm...

Now that I think about it, I almost broke my facade some time ago. When I was at Yukinoshita Yukino's place.

I remember my words clear as day. I made her feel guilty, small and the villain of everything. I spoke carefully chosen words that would make her feel that way. I wanted her to reach her lowest while not breaking her to see the "REAL" her. Every word I spoke unconsciously reminded me of my memories during my Middle-School days. The unfair bullying, the unjustified harassment, the insulting and harsh words that attacked me day by day… All of those terrible memories returned to me in a span of a few seconds. It was a good thing that she was looking down while I spoke, my eyes would have given what I was feeling away. I was barely able to control my hands as they shook and just as lucky that I was able to contain the onslaught of negative memories that swirled in my head like a violent tempest. During that time, my heartbeat was going so fast, but not from nervousness or something as petty such as that.

It was mostly frustration. I may joke about it from time to time, but her words stab my heart like a cold knife. What have I ever done to deserve those things? What have I ever done to her to say such hurtful and horrible words at me? What drove my classmates in Middle-School to do those things to me? What have I done except exist?

What?

I was internally seething at her at that point. I know it was unfair for me do to so, but even someone like me got emotionally carried away inside. But I don't regret it. It was nothing less of a miracle that I managed to forcefully calm myself down. And the time that I comforted her as she cried on my chest?

I was just faking that too.

It honestly wasn't something that I did out of kindness. I just did it to make her feel indebted and grateful to me. If it made her think twice on badmouthing me again, then I'll do it without a second thought. So far, she hasn't done it again. If she did…then I'm not sure what I would have done.

I cannot, for the love of God, convince myself to believe her apology and trust her. It didn't make me feel anything, I daresay it made me even more annoyed at her. I've received apologies like that in the past, but they were hollow and those that said those words to me didn't mean it heartily. It has become impossibly difficult for me to completely "trust" someone.

Oh and let's not forget to mention that absolutely uneventful and dreadful park 'date' thing. I hated everything: the hot weather, the noisy children, the overly-touchy couples. I was testing her on what she would do since I gave her a chance. Thank goodness that she didn't try to hold my hand during that time since I would have instantly recoiled and pulled back my hand from her filthy talons. Like Saki's case, it was also a test to see if she had feelings for me. I have not reached a conclusion yet. She definitely feels something, but I don't know if it is a romantic or just a possessive one. I honestly felt surprised when I realized that she feels that latter towards me, it was something that I did not expect. I was probably her only "Friend", I guess I should have seen it coming since I don't see her hanging out or socializing with anyone else except myself.

But then again, I doubt that she looks at me as a person.

I think she just looks at me as a piece of meat to pleasure herself with her superiority complex as she constantly rains insults on my person. Perhaps she gets off to degrading and humiliating others, especially me…? Maybe she even touches herself while thinking of the next icy and harsh words to throw at me on the next time we meet? Serves her right since her toxic personality does not allow her to have any friends. That Ice Hag probably felt lonely when I wasn't there for her to verbally murder and demean on a day-to-day basis.

Everyday going to club and showing her the bare minimum of respect and kindness tasted bad in my mouth. I have already accepted the fact that I feel too proud to remove myself from the club, I also refuse to give her the pleasure of proving that she is right. The little smiles that she throws my way whenever our eyes meet makes me gag. At least Yui is there to keep her preoccupied and not focus on me. Thanks to her, my time in the club is a bit more bearable.

Emphasis on "a bit".

Yukinoshita Yukino is not my friend.

I lied to her as she shed tears of joy when I called her my "friend". I didn't even feel any weight on my words, it just comes to show that I have gotten very good at doing this...

The conversation that I had with Haruno at Angel Ladder still holds true.

The thought may have crossed my mind once or twice, but NEVER have I considered Yukinoshita Yukino as a friend.

Seriously.

If it weren't for the fact that our Father's are acquainted, Haruno and I being on friendly terms and us being in the same club…

I would cut all connections and never associate with her ever again.

My eye started twitching and I was starting to clench my fists from remembering all those unpleasant memories from the past and present and I had to take a deep breath to calm myself down. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK...! I can't lose my cool now... My Mother might see me and get concerned, and that's the last thing that I'd like to happen. I don't want her to worry and bother herself with something as trivial as this...

…

…

…

I am so very tired of everything. Sometimes I feel like giving up.

But I have already achieved and done so much for me to just drop everything and go back to the way things we-

...

...

...oh yeah…

I couldn't help but give out a mirthless laugh when I realized it.

The statement "back to the way things were" doesn't hold any meaning right now since I was faking everything behind my facade from the very beginning.

A year and a half left until graduation…until then, I have to endure all of this… The lies, the faking, the deceit, the facades, the multiple personalities…

It's too late for me, I can't stop now...

All I can do is to see things through the bitter end.

CHAPTER END