I rated this T but there is a small sweet M Scene at the end, it is mark if you do not want to read it.

I had heard the saying more times than I could count. I had on numerous occasions said it about others, and in no way had I been nice or polite about it. I had laughed and joked about the idiots around me making mistake after mistake. I never saw how they could mess up so much that they would lose everything. It seemed like an impossibility to me. I never would have thought that I too would hit rock bottom.

It all started with going to the bar after work for a few drinks. Ivan and I would go to unwind from the day, though our jobs were not that hard, our days were long and we attended a ton of meeting. I never thought much of it seeing as most of the people I worked with would go as well. Perhaps I felt better about it since the bar we had gone to time and time again was as high class as they come. Clean floors, shiny walls. Hot as hell women walking around in Prada heels and Chanel dresses. Everything screamed money, and no without a name got in.

One drink turned into two, and two into four. It soon became clear that no amount of drinks would clear my mind from my days. No matter how wasted my thoughts still came to the same conclusion. I hated my job, my life with a passion. And sometimes I just simply could not understand why. Any man would kill to be in my shoes. I was 29 and the CEO of Russia's biggest firm. I had women left and right. Penthouse suite with all the expensive decor. I had it all, but yet still felt like I was hollow.

Yet inside I felt nothing, or perhaps I felt too much. The white substance I inhaled night after night did nothing but complicate the feelings inside of me. I woke, I worked, I partied. And most nights I'd even get laid, not that I ever remembered. Even with the drugs and the alcohol I never felt like I could escape. Though I could not pin point exactly what I was trying to leave. I could never imagine going back to what I use to be.

I was raised by my mother, after she ran away from my father. She raised me and my three sisters in a small beat up house, on the skirts of a commune. Nothing ever worked, and she worked two jobs to keep us there. Meals were simple, schooling the worse in the county. But my mother gave everything so we could have everything. As soon as I graduated though I swear I would never return to that life. And in swearing off that lifestyle I had sworn off my family.

"Excuse you asshole." I had been walking to work, sunglasses on, head hanging low from my hangover as I collided with a small female.

"Excuse you bit..." The words died out on my lips as I took in the woman before me.

She had long untamed brown hair, not a lick of make up on her, but her face was clear, almost glowing. A long flowy green skirt with a tight white top tucked into it. Her necklace the shape of a mushroom, and her bangles clinking as she moved. Her tiny feet adorned with laced up sandals. A flash of my mother and sisters made me cringe. Her eyes were sultry without even trying, and her lips bowed and plump as if calling out to me. Everything about her screamed gpsy or hippie, everything I hated about my past.

"What got nothing to say?" Her hands landed on her hips and I straightened up, my eyes glancing down to notice this little devil didn't have a bra on.

"Looks like someone needs to cool off, or maybe perhaps you already are." Her eyes narrowed and I slowly pulled off my sunglasses.

"Men like you don't phase me." And with out anything more she walked away.

Shaking my head, and staring after her, watching her hips sway I spun on my feet. She was a frisky little thing but I would soon forget her, just like everything else. She was nothing to me, and I would not waste my time with people like her. I had left that commune life, and could not be wasting my breath or thought on her.

My bad habits slowly but surely started to follow me to work. Hiding behind my desk to take a swig of vodka, or to blow some coke. My projects became crap and my boss pretty pissed. But even with my job on the line I could not stop. Why would I give up the lifestyle I had managed to make for myself. I loved the drinks, the drugs and the women. Though numb most of the time, i figured I was untouchbale. I felt invincible in every sense of the word. My "friends" encouraged my actions, and I seriously thought they would never lead my astray.

But like I said before I hit rock bottom. It wasn't long before my boss fired me. I did not leave without a fight, I screamed and trashed everything before me. It probably did not help I was high as a kite. And with that my name was tarnished so no one else wanted to hire me. Firm after firm denied to even talk to me. The money I thought I had dwindled quickly on my addictions. Like so many before me, I had lost everything by making mistake after mistake. My "friends" disappeared no one answering their phones. Door knocks ignored as I feel further down. There was nothing else to pawn, and no money for rent. Too ashamed to contact my family, since I had been the one to leave them, I ended up on the streets.

At first I was frustrated, not fully comprehending what was happening. But after a night of shivers and sweating I finally woke up sober, something I had not been in months. I had a tattered suit on, my beard growing in. I smelled of piss and garbage and my left shoe was missing it's sole. It was the first time in a long time that I questioned what I was doing, or what I had done. But now that I was so low, I believed more than ever that nothing could be done. I had ruined myself beyond repair, and figured I would live on the streets for the rest of my life.

I spent months like this, begging and stealing, simply trying to get by. But the thing I could not give up was me chasing my high. Any little bit of money given or taken I wasted on drugs and alcohol. If I was destined to be like this, I refused to feel. I could feel myself thinner, aging before my time. There was no reason though for me to fix my ways. I was already at my worst and I could not imagine how I would dig myself out of this mess. I had given up on myself long before this, and now I had nothing to grab onto to climb out.

"Not all those who wonder are lost." My eyes snapped to the right as someone sat next to me speaking.

"What?" She looked over to me a small smile on her face. Her features reminded me of something from so far away.

"I've seen you around. Even before this." My brow furrowed as I studied her again. It was the gpsy from so long before.

"Yea well, I guess karma worked its charm." I was bitter at this woman, who now seemed to have more than I did. I took another swig of vodka as loud laugh boomed from inside me.

"My father always taught me that no one was really lost. We follow the path we were given, but sometimes we just need a push in another direction for things to fix themselves." I laughed again taking a swig, only to be disappointed when my bottle came back empty.

"My path is gone and erased. I'm never going to get back what I use to have." It was now her who laughed.

"You shouldn't want that." I looked at her squinting as my vision blurred. Why would I want anything but the life I had.

"I had it all."

"No you didn't." She grabbed my hand her warmth causing me to shiver. "You had everything but life. You walked day in and day out in path of corruption and evil."

"Well I paid my dues didn't I?" I reached for my pocket well knowing I had a bit more of my stash left, but she stopped me.

"Come with me." She stood up before me and reached out her hand, her eyes boring into mine. "I'm giving you that push, please take it."

Her hand stayed extended towards me and all I could do was stare. Who the hell was this woman who was so convinced she could help me. I was beyond repair and a complete waste of her time. Yet here she was hand waiting, eyes soft, willing me to go with her. She came here to help me? Save me? I could not let someone like her take me. What life would I have if I returned to what I had run away from.

"I am not offering charity." Those were the words that won me over. That and the fact that the life I had chosen had done me wrong.

After months on the streets I had seen a lot of different emotions pass through people's faces as they saw me. Disgust, anger, frustration. But the one I saw the most was pity. They saw me and they saw someone who couldn't get it together, someone lost with no hope. Someone they never wanted to be. But never had anyone stopped to help, to care, to lend a hand. Not even as some watched me get kicked and beat by a group of young men. This woman was willing to offer me a way out, even in my state, did she even know what she was getting herself into?

Her home was small. Almost too small for her, let alone her and I. But she made her way around with ease. A small kitchen, a bathroom, one room(which I was not allowed anywhere near) and a barely there living room was all she had. But she seemed so very happy to show me all that she had. She had copper pot, and everything was made of wood. Everything was clean, but the wear was more than noticeable. I was offered her sofa bed in the living room. Showed how to work the bathroom shower, and then she left me alone.

I showered for the first time in months. The feeling of her too cold water more than soothing for my aching skin. She had left a razor for me and for the first time in forever I could see my face. My eyes were ridden with dark circles, my cheeks sunken, but my eyes were what scared me the most. I had no idea who the man looking back at me was. How had I let myself fall this far. The scissors she had in the draw shook in my hands as I tried and failed to cut my hair. When once I had kept it neat and short now it fell to my shoulders, but I liked it. I needed it. It was how I had kept my hair before I had left my family. So instead I combed it out and sighed.

"Food is ready." Her voice rang like chimes through the place and I put on the clothes she had gathered for me. A pair of loose pants with pull strings and a white cotton blouse. I looked like a damn hippie but for once didn't get disgusted. She was helping me. I once use to be this person, a person so different to the one I had become.

"I made a stew. It's not much but has a bunch of nutrients. You'll need to gain some weight." I ate my bowl in silence, and when I finished it she quickly filled it with more.

"Thank you." I looked up to find her seated before me a small smile on her lips.

"My pleasure." She grabbed our bowls and put them in the sink. "Now it's your turn to help me."

Helping Rose, which I soon knew was her name, was what made my withdrawals go by quickly. She had me patch up her roof, and that of her friends. I ran errands for her and even helped her tidy up. It was all she asked for in payment for letting me stay with her and feeding me. She gave and she gave, without asking for much in return. She brought me books to read at night, and fed me 3 times a day. She held me when I shivered, and sang to me as I cried.

We lived our lives simple but so rich. It was a side to life that I didn't even know existed, let alone thought I would like. I had left this before convinced I had barely been living. I was beyond ashamed of the man I had become. But with Rose I started to finally feel something I had not felt before, I felt alive. I started to see the error in my ways, saw that my greediness from a young age had done nothing but tarnish me. My mother, my sisters had been giving me everything I had ever needed.

"Dimitri hurry up and come!" I ran around the house to the small stream that ran behind the small house. There kneeling in the mud was Rose in her red flowy dress, hair in a long braid. "Look!"

Excitement filled every word as she pointed to a small, almost microscopic frog on the ground. It hopped along trying quickly to get away from her as she tried to catch it, all while giggling loudly. Her laugh had now become my favorite thing. Along with her long hair. Little by little I had started to see Rose for the woman she was.

At first I simply saw another human here with me. Her company what I needed in order to stay put, calm and recover. Recently though I had started to notice things about her. Things that made my insides turn and spin like they never had before. Her laugh caused me to smile and laugh as well. Her hair made me itch to run my fingers through it. Her small chatter making me wish for her to speak more. And then I started to notice her curves, she was a dashing woman. Hour glass shape, round bottom, ripe breasts. She awoke inside me something that made me feel like a man.

"You're going to get dirty." She rolled her eyes but hopped along on her knees again trying to grab the frog.

"Help me." She giggled again as the small creature escaped through her fingers.

Kneeling next to her I reached out for the small frog catching it on the first try. My large hands encased him and for a moment I feared I had crushed it. Rose grabbed my hands in hers prying my palm a little open to take a look. A smile grew on her lips, and I fought the urger to kiss her.

"You got him!" She stared in awe at the little creature and I opened my hands to show her. The frog stay put in my palm and I watched it in fascination. Where it had been running from Rose it stayed with me. The feeling was overwhelming, and slightly stupid but it made me feel good that he had chosen me. I never considered myself one to bring anything ease. My eyes met Rose's and I looked on in awe. Rose had always been at ease with me, how had I never seen it before.

I placed my hand on the ground and he hopped slowly from it to the mud. I watch again as he slowly moved away from me, almost as if he was reluctant. I sighed deeply, completely content with the moment. Ever since coming to this small commune I had been nothing but happy. Not only that welcomed. Just like this frog they had accepted me, helped me, and let me be myself.

When I had been going through the withdrawals, Rose's friend Lissa had held cold cloths to my forehead. When I had wondered how to fix Rose's roof her friend Adrain had come over and shown me. And when I had wondered how to talk to the people around me Christian had talked to me about the weather. They had all come around on more than one occasion to have dinner with us. And from the beginning I had been treated like family. This was how I should have acted with my own family.

Looking to Rose I was surprised to see her so close to me. Her eyes seeming to take in my every facial feature. And when her eyes flickered to my lips, I finally saw what she had been hinting at for a while now. Apparently I had not been the only one to notice the other. I had filled in, and had a tan now. My once worn features returning to life. Muscles I never had forming as I did manual labor.

"It's ok." My hands shook at my sides as I thought about kissing her. I felt so unworthy. "I want it too."

Her lips ghosted over mine and I shivered at the feeling. I had kissed many but none felt like this. None send a spark into my very soul. As she drew closer our lips crashed together. Her lips forming to mine as we moved in sync. The feel of her tongue tasting my lower lip causing me to groan. Her quick act of dominance as she thrusted it inside my mouth leaving me breathless.

Pulling away from the kiss I stared at Rose in wonder. When had I become so lucky. How had I gone from the man I use to be to this. If life gave me the chance I was going to amend all of my sins. I swore after today was over I would find my family, apologize. Introduce them to Rose.

"We follow the path we were given, but sometimes we just need a push in another direction for things to fix themselves."

Her words echoed through my mind as I smiled at the woman before me.

"You knew." She smiled, cocking her head to the side.

"From the moment I first bumped into you." I laughed looking at her in disbelief.

"How could you know?" She shrugged sitting in the mud, lacing her fingers through mine.

"You made me hum. I had never hummed before." I laughed even louder shaking my head.

"You're so strange Rose." The statement was a compliment. Rose smiled widely.

"Do you want to go inside?" For the first time ever Rose sounded timid, she still held her head high and radiated confidence but she wanted something that was bold to ask for.

"You don't have to." She giggled shaking her head and standing.

"You should know by now that I don't do anything I don't want to." She reached her hand towards me and I took it without thought.

She led me inside quickly, turning me to hit her door. She jumped up quickly wrapping her legs around my torso. If I hadn't been so eager I would have reprimanded her for breaking the glass that fell off the counter. Stumbling forward without seeing I stopped when I had no idea where we could do this.

"My room." I walked towards it well knowing I had never been allowed in there. Until now.

I opened my eyes as I entered, her lips still kissing mine. Her room was small, tiny even. There was no bed just what seemed to be a million blankets on the floor. It was so her. I loved it from the moment I laid eyes on it. Rose needed nothing to be happy, and that in itself made me happy. She had always told me if there was nothing to take away then she would not miss it.

Quickly laying her in the middle of the cloud looking bed I kissed her roughly pulling at the straps of her dress to expose her shoulders. My lips left to explore and I moaned at the taste of her. Her skin was even softer than I had imagine. I had touched her hands, and grabbed her by the waist a few times but I never had been this close.

Start M Scene

She pulled my face to hers and we kissed harder this time. Her hands roaming my body as she reached under my shirt. She yanked upwards deposing of it behind us. I pulled away, wanting nothing more than to see her. Inching down I grabbed the edge of her muddy dress and pulled it up. The more I exposed the more I groaned as I found out that it seemed Rose never wore any form of underwear.

"God you're gorgeous." Finally taking the dress off and flinging it behind me, I again hovered over her.

"Take these off." Without hesitation I stood taking my bottoms off with my boxers. Wasting no time I was over her again.

She giggled as I laid over her kissing the valley between her breasts. Now seeing them bare I knew my imagination had never done them justice. They were perk and plump and her nipples a soft brown. A tiny freckle right where I wanted to taste her. Leaning to the side I nipped at the pebble watching it grow tight at my ministrations. My other hand reaching to massage her other globe.

"I've dreamed of you touching me like this." Her voice was husky and low, making me twitch as I moved lower on her.

My lips traced her stomach, biting her hips one by one. My hand reaching between us to part her wet lips. She was so wet and so ready, and I loved how she was mewling like a cat as my finger brushed her sensitive clit. Moving between her legs I took one long lingering lick, groaning myself as her juices coated my lips. My fingers found home near her entrance but before I could go further she stopped me.

"We have plenty of time for that later. Right now I need you." I nodded wordlessly as I laid myself over her.

And like everything in her life Rose took control and placed me at her most glorious wet hole. I entered her slowly savoring every inch. She was tight and wet and her nails biting into my back made this something I had never experienced before. I wanted more of her, I needed all of her. And as I looked into her eyes I knew if I gave her myself, she would give herself to me.

Reaching bottom I stopped looking into her eyes, finding something in there that I never thought I would find. Love and affection shown bright back at me, and I couldn't help returning it as I set a pace that had us both moaning.

Thrust after thrust I brought us both higher. My mind and my heart expanding in a way I never thought it could be. Her walls tightening around me telling me how close she was, her whispers of my name urging me to continue.

Higher and higher we worked both together. Higher and higher than any drug or bottle of alcohol had ever brought me to. And as she shattered beneath me and I inside her I knew I could never live without her.

End M Scene

"I love you."

"I know. I've loved you since the first day I saw you." The twinkle in her eyes left no room for questions.

When once I was rock bottom, Rose helped me find gold. I was back where I belonged, back to the man I had lost so long ago.

I suppose I have a spot reserved for writing about recovery. A few unknown facts about me, I suffer from depression, I recovered from anorexia, I was abused as a child, alcohol once ran my life. These are hard topics to bring up, and even harder to talk about. But I wanted to let you know why so many of my pieces go around mental, abuse, addiction, etc. It is also why sometimes I just disappear Its odd that the one thing that brings me joy is the one thing I run from. Makes sense though. But anyways...

What did you think?

I started the next chapter to Assassins Assilant. But look out for another one shot. I think I have one more in me... And this one is a bit more, a lot more, M rated so it will be marked M.