Characters owned by ABC, General Hospital, and its creators/writers.

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Sam waited at the airport lounge, her sleeping son clutched to her side as she watched her babygirl asleep in the carseat next to her, her thoughts running rampant through a troubled mind. To say life has never been easy on her was an understatement, but it had also given her more joy than she'd thought possible. Even with a lifetime spent fighting tooth and nail for every bit of happiness it's ever afforded her, she would never change a single thing, if this same outcome was what she had to look forward to.

Running a wayward hand through her little boys hair as he laid against her, dead to the buzzing world around them, Sam thought to what she was leaving behind. Port Charles was home, the only one her children had ever known, the only one that she ever wanted to know again…but they had to leave home for a little while. She had to put some distance between everything that was familiar and stable for them, to get her solid once again. It's what was best for her whole world…her children and the man who fathered them. The man she almost got killed for simply loving her.

"Mrs. Morgan?"

She looked up to the stewardess who'd appeared in front of them, smiling as she waved towards the gate to her left.

"We're ready to board our first class passengers - would you like some help with the little ones?"

"I've got them, thanks."

"Of course."

Sam shook Danny softly by the shoulder. "Hey, Buddy." He stirred slowly and opened sleep filled eyes as she continued to rouse him mildly. "You have to wake up now, okay?"

Danny looked around them, then rubbed his eye as he asked, "Is it time, Mommy?"

"It's time, Bud." Rising to her feet, Sam scooted the carseat with a sleeping Scout in it, then took her babyboy's hand and headed towards the gate and to the plane that would take them halfway around the world. She got her children buckled in the seats next to her, where Danny promptly went back to sleep and Scout barely stirred, before her mind started going over the conversation she'd had earlier with her mother. More of an argument than a conversation really.

"Sam, you can't just pack up Danny and Scout and take them away from their lives just like that. You're being irrational - maybe you shouldn't have checked out of the hospital yet. I knew they discharged you too soon!"

She'd called Alexis from the airport, purposely giving her too short notice for her to do anything to thwart her plans, asking her to deliver a message to Jason.

"Mom, I'm fine. This is not about my illness. I just need to give Jason some space so he can heal and get some perspective, without having to worry about me and taking care of me right now. I've been a full-time job for him lately and he needs a break from me. My children need some time to just be carefree and happy, away from all the chaos their lives have been. My God, Mom, my daughter was almost killed before she was even born, and my son almost lost his mother, not long after living for years without his father! Then Jason got shot, because I've become this needy, neurotic mess who's gone from being his reliable backup, to needing his constant attention. We all need this, Mom. I have to go!"

"Sam, you're not thinking clearly. What happened to you could've happened to anyone, and you need to give yourself a break for not being so strong all the time. After everything you've been through, who can blame you for having a slip? You're only human."

"That's exactly why I have to do this. We all need a break."

"What will I tell Jason and your sisters? You don't think they'll notice that you packed up the kids and took off?"

"That's why I'm calling you. You will be able to make them understand that I need to do this. I left Jason a note at the penthouse - the doctors said he's healing well and they'll release him in the morning. I just couldn't tell him face to face, because he would try to talk me out of it. Kristina and Molly have their own lives now and they will understand. This is not forever, Mom…it's just for a little while. I need to give my husband breathing room so he can be himself again, without me underfoot. I would never keep his children from him forever - I just need to get away for a little while. Please say you understand? Please say you'll explain it to Jason."

"How can I explain it to him when I don't understand it myself, Sam? I hear all that you're saying but you're not thinking this through. How can you going to God knows where, solve anything? Where are you going, anyway?"

"I'd rather not say."

"Sam!"

"Mom, if I tell you that right now I'll just wake up to find Jason or one of Sonny's goons on my doorstep tomorrow, which will defeat the purpose of all this. I'll call you when we land and I'll check in every day - would that make you feel better?"

"No!"

"Well, it will have to do. I can take care of my kids, Mom. I'm not ill anymore!"

"You just got out of the hospital - don't tell me you're not ill. You never give yourself enough time to heal, and now you're taking off for parts unknown all by yourself, wth two young kids in tow - how am I supposed to not worry?"

"Easy. Keep on the Julian track you've been on for months now and don't worry about me and my kids. I'll call you when we land. Bye, Mom!"

She knew she was wrong for snapping. She knew she was probably even wrong for leaving, but it was necessary. She'd known since the day Jason finally awoke from the coma he'd slipped into after the shooting, that she needed to leave. He almost died again, because of her. Took a bullet once again, because he was saving her. His life had seen complication after complication, thanks to her, and it was high time she gave him the chance to find one without her mucking it up.

Hawaii was as beautiful as she remembered it! Her last trip there had been one of a lifetime, filled with memories she'd treasure for all of hers. The fact that the asshole who followed them there had tried to taint and mar it for them was never far from her mind, especially when he insisted on being in her face every chance he got…but he hadn't succeeded. The joy and love that filled those two gloriously magnificent weeks for them was far greater than his night of terror and ensuing chaos could ever blot. That's the Hawaii she'd introduce to their children.

She'd rented a small beachfront villa on Oahu. Waikiki Beach was beautiful, and Danny was in love the minute they arrived, dragging her and Scout to the water's edge so he could run along the shores and kick at the waves. Sam sat on the sand with Scout in her arms, watching her son run out with the tide then race to beat it back to the beach, laughing everytime he lost and it splashed him from head to toe. He wasn't scared of the water, far from it - he was a virtual fish - but he loved running and he loved the game.

She thought about Jason and she knew by now Alexis would've relayed her message. Sam knew that he would be hurt and maybe even angry at her cowardly run, but everytime she tried to think of anything else, all she saw was his body on the floor of that warehouse, shot, struggling to breathe, his eyes closed to the pain as he fought for life. She'd put him there. For weeks - months even, after Scout was born, she'd felt out of sorts but hadn't been able to share her feelings with anyone, not even the man who she kept nothing from and gave everything to. What she'd first thought was fatigue from lack of sleep soon became something more, something she hadn't recognized until it was almost too late.

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Alexis knocked on the door then pushed it open to enter the hospital room, pausing when she saw her son-in-law packing a duffle by the dresser.

"Hi there!"

"Alexis! If you're looking for Sam, she's not here yet."

She saw his slight grimace moving around had brought on, and she took a deep breath, knowing she was going to share news he would not welcome.

"Sam's not coming."

"She sent you to pick me up?"

"No." She hesitated, then decided to rip the bandaid off. "Jason, Sam's gone. She took Danny and Scout and left town."

"What are you talking about? What do you mean, left town?"

Alexis held out her hand gingerly. "She told me she left this for you at the Penthouse, so I picked it up on my way over…it will offer more of an explanation than I can, I'm sure."

Jason didn't understand. He hadn't heard from, nor seen Sam since the day before, which was uncharacteristically odd for her, but they have kids now…he thought that was the reason she hadn't spent every waking moment by his side as she'd been known to do everytime he was in the hospital, ever since they fell in love. She hadn't answered when he'd called to tell her goodnight, nor when he'd called this morning to tell her he'd been released, but he told himself she was busy with the kids and would call him back at some point. What the hell was this now?

...

My dearest love,

You and I are one heart. We have been since the day our paths crossed, and will be, until the day we turn to dust again. But I've taken so much from you, and have turned into someone I don't recognize, which is why you've been stuck taking care of me. I can no longer be a deterrent to you, to your true heart, or to your life. Once again, you almost died because you felt you had to protect me, but now it is my turn to protect you. I love you more than life itself, and I forever will, so I'm giving you the room you will not take for yourself, to take your life back.

I've taken the kids on a trip. It's not forever, I would never do that to you - but I need to give you time to do the things that you want to with your life, without the distraction I've become. Please don't look for us. I will keep the loves of our lives safe, I swear it, and soon I will bring them back to you, but for now we both need some space and some time apart.

Take care my love, and know that I love you with every breath I take, and that will never change.

Yours eternal,

Sam

...

The bullet hole in his chest hurt less than the crater her words bore through his heart. Where did she go? How could she leave him? How could she believe he'd want anything that wasn't her, their family, their life together?

"Alexis?"

His sounding of her name was asking her to explain, to make sense of what he'd just read, to make it unreal. But a shrug of her shoulders and a dejected sigh was all the answer she had.

He would never accept this. His baby was still not herself. For months, after she'd given birth to their daughter she'd been reeling in silence and he'd had no clue. He'd slept beside her night after night, cared for their children beside her day after day, and still his oblivious eyes had missed that she was spiraling…until it was almost too late. Tried as he might, he continued to fail the love of his life when she needs him most. Now here he was failing her again. She'd just shared her fears, telling him of the imbedded dread of losing him and their life together again, when he turned around and entered a dangerous situation to help his best friend and ended up bringing her worse fears to life, right in front of her. He almost left her again, despite promising her just the night before it happened that everything was going to work out fine. He couldn't leave her alone out there. He had to find her and bring her home, bring his family back where they belonged…together.

Grabbing his phone off the nightstand, Jason immediately sent a text to Spinelli. Then he placed a call to someone who could help also.

"Is your jet free?"

"Yah…but…"

"But?"

"Hey, I'm no doctor but I'm thinking that a bullet hole in the middle of your chest kinda means you're grounded for awhile, no?"

"Sam's gone!"

"What do you mean?"

"She took off. She packed up our kids and left town. I have to find her, Sonny."

"Where did she go?"

"I have no idea - Spinelli's helping me find her, and when I do I need to move fast. Will you help me?"

"Of course…the jet and anything I have is yours for the asking, you know that. I'll let the pilot know to be on standby. Whatever you need."

"Thanks, man!"

"Anytime."

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"Mommy, what's the matter with Scout?"

After the beach they'd settled in and unpacked, shared a light dinner, then took up residence on the screened in back lanai to watch the sun set. Danny was on the floor with his Hawaiian travel book and Sam was sitting on the chaise, trying to soothe her daughter's crying. She was fed and dry but had been fussy for hours, and nothing Sam did would calm her down.

"I don't know, Bud - she's a little cranky, huh?"

"Maybe she doesn't like Hawaii. Can I read to her about some of the great stuff they have here?"

"You know, I think she'd really like that."

Sam laid Scout down in the playpen and rocked it softly from side to side, as Danny drew closer to kneel down next to his sister. She remained fussy at first but when he kept reading about the beaches and natural energy, and made whooshing beach sounds for her, she finally started to settle. He read to her about the shield volcanoes on either side of them, nearby Honolulu, and some favorite attractions, and before long, her soft cries had turned into intermittent whimpers, as she battled the sleep that was taking her over.

"Great job, Buddy," Sam whispered, then gave her son a silent high five. She knew exactly what was wrong with her daughter because she felt the same way. She missed her daddy, just like Sam did, and just like Scout, Sam felt like she was two seconds away from crying herself to sleep too. But she knew she couldn't do that. She wasn't alone anymore. She was entrusted with the care of these two precious, precious babies, and she'd protect them with everything in her. She couldn't help wondering just how angry Jason was at that moment. By now he knew she'd left and he'd most likely gone home and found her letter too. She hoped he'd be able to understand and to take her advise to use the time for himself. He needed it.

Later that night, after the kids had been asleep and she'd given up on getting any herself when her brain had refused to turn itself off, Sam ventured out to the front lanai and laid beneath the starry, moonlit sky, allowing her mind to wonder what he was doing. She thought back to the time he'd spent as Jake Doe - that calm, nonviolent time when he'd spent his days and nights with a simple family, with simple day to day rituals, and had seemed happy and content - and she admitted the most painful truth to herself finally. Maybe that simple life was the one he was really meant for. Maybe that's why, after all he'd been through and fought for, his memory loss had afforded him his true desire…to live a carefree, violence-free existence with the woman who brought him peace. That's never been her. She'd been bringing him pain and struggles since they'd met, and those experiences had brought him close to death's door so many times that she'd lost count. Maybe he would still be happy, contented Jake Doe, stumbling around in the dark, tied steadfastly to the apron strings of a woman who's selfish type of love had seemed enough for him. What would their lives be if they hadn't told him the truth?

Sam shifted uneasily on the chaise as she weighed the heaviness of her thoughts. For one, they wouldn't have their sweet babygirl. They wouldn't have shared the past year where they found the strength of their love had amplified and reached heights they'd only dreamed of before, as much as they'd loved each other back then. The bond that grew stronger between them as they nurtured their shared love for their son, wouldn't have known life, and her days would be spent watching him happy and in love with somebody else. Could she have survived any of it?

She could've gone on without him if his happiness laid with another…she could've gladly given him up if that's what he'd needed…but no way could she envision a world where her babygirl never drew breath. No, Jake Doe was a mistake and it was never him. He always preferred to face the truth and whatever it brought than to live in shrouds of lies and deceit. But there had to be a new median for them now…they would need to find a space to coexist as parents but not as partners. She was dangerous for him. She was a threat to him. She had to let him go.

Just as the tears were threatening to spill, Sam raised herself from the chaise and headed to bed. Sleep would not come but she needed to try…two little tykes would need her to be at her energetic best to keep up and be present. She'd taken a step towards the open front door, one hand reached out and fell on the knob even, when something stopped her dead in her tracks. A familiarity hung in the air, something sensual and electric froze her to the spot, and without turning, without seeing…she knew he was there.

"Don't you know I'd die without you?"