Deck of Heroes

Speech/ Thoughts

AN at bottom. Enjoy the chapter.

Chapter 5: Weird Afternoon

"I thought I was done with tests today…" Naruto mentally grumbled as he walked into a clothing store with Medea in tow. The hooded woman walked a bit too close to his back than wuld be considered normal. She was aware he knew of her history, both in the Grail Wars and mythology. Right now, however, she wanted to see if he was going to be like the others who had summoned her. To see if he would immediately draw conclusions from preconceptions.

Naruto had no intention of being anything like those previous Masters.

It was plain to Naruto Medea detested when her Masters made moves to limit her or treat her like a tool. A corpse in a burning workshop on a different world gave proof to his theory. Medea would decide on their first meeting whether or not whoever summoned her was a viable Master. Unfortunately, it seemed the trend leaned towards the Caster disliking the initial individual, and moving to either a different individual or going solo.

Naruto also noticed how untrusting the woman was towards not just Masters, but just about everyone. She analyzed every word, action, reaction, and motive of a person who appeared in front of her to find even the slightest hint of a red flag. If found, either death or permanent bodily harm awaited the poor sap.

However, this excessive amount of paranoia was understandable given the utterly crap cards she was given in life. Firstly, she was put under mind control by the goddess Aphrodite to assist some wannabe-king called Jason in stealing the Golden Fleece from her father, the King of Colchis. This resulted in her chopping her own brother into pieces in front of their shocked father. Under the control of Aphrodite, Medea wasn't even aware of what she had done until she was sailing towards the one whom Jason had promised to bring the Fleece in exchange for his father's kingdom. From there, the events which would further shape Medea into the Witch of Betrayal would occur… all of them involving or caused by Jason.

Naruto focused on the heroes in the deck. More specifically, he searched for Jason's card.

"I don't have it…" Naruto mentally ground out with a small frown. Then again, Jason wasn't really worth anything outside of his silver tongue, and completely useless in combat. Perhaps those traits influenced whether or not he was put inside the deck.

"Or Zeltrech somehow knew I would burn that ass's card if he did."

"You could have entrusted me with his card," Medea's voice offered mentally.

Naruto shivered.

"I'd rather not… I don't even want to imagine what you'd do," Naruto declined as he located a clothing store. Naruto ignored the small sound of amusement as they entered.

Unknown to Naruto, he and his robed companion were under close watch from three individuals. These three were under the strictest of orders not to be discovered as they observed the container. The recent developments surrounding the fox-child had gained both the attention and the worry of their commander. This surveillance had been active since the first day the boy awakened with this deck.

Two of the hidden spies were on the roofs, while the third remained on the ground, using the buildings' shadows to obscure himself. The third observer chose to hide in a dark alley when he noticed the excellent view of the store the target entered. He stood in the shadows, unnoticed by the passing civilians as he watched the store. A display window allowed for a modest view inside which allowed for mostly unobstructed line of sight.

Or at least it did, until abnormally long fingers wrapped around his head, and squeezed.

"The darkness… is not your ally," a deep, rugged voice spoke as the man was yanked deeper into the shadows.

The other two on the roof immediately left when they felt their comrade's chakra signature die out. The two never noticed how the shadows seemed to follow them.

Oblivious to his stalkers and protectors, Naruto currently stood next to Medea as they browsed through rolls of fabrics with varying colors. On his shoulder, Naruto hung a couple of jackets, various shirts, a couple scarfs, and some pants in colors similar to what Jack already wore. Medea had assisted in picking out the proper sizes and color when asked, seemingly pleased with Naruto's behavior towards her so far.

"Hmmm…." The Caster currently examined a roll of rich purple fabric, muttering about the texture disapprovingly.

Naruto paused from feeling up a soft blue material to ask if she required an opinion.

"I adore this hue, but the rough surface ruins it," Medea answered with a small frown. "Shame. I have already thought of various dresses this color would look absolutely stunning on."

Another wave of anger from the same Saber as earlier registered in Naruto's mind. Once more, he was confused. First figurines, now dresses? Naruto was aware the two fought in the same Grail War, but the details of their meetings were unavailable to him. Until Naruto talked to that Saber, he supposed it would be better if he focused on the Servant with him.

"Do you think they may have the same color, but with a softer material at the back?"

Medea hummed thoughtfully, before turning to Naruto. "Ask the tailor over there."

Naruto nodded before he laid the chosen articles on a nearby clothes rack before he walked to the employee. Time to see if the stores still wanted him out. If so, then things haven't changed too much. Then again, Medea might not take kindly to being kicked out, given how she was run out of society in her life, especially by a clothing store employee with literally no powers compared to her, someone who had manipulated space-time to freeze an enemy.

"Doesn't help that ability was developed out of necessity, not a whim…"

"Hey," Naruto called to the male employee, half expecting to the man to turn back around when he saw him.

Instead, the employee gained a startled expression before he spoke. Naruto saw he was middle-aged with dark, neatly trimmed hair. His nametag read Takeo.

"Y-yes sir, may I help you?"

Naruto nodded and led the tailor to where Medea stood, the fabric still in her hands. With a smile which Naruto found rather creepy, Medea made her inquiry.

"I was wondering whether or not this store possesses fabric of this color," She held up the purple cloth. "With a softer material? Perhaps in storage?"

Takeo examined the shade, before he temporarily dismissed himself to search for a softer material with the color the hooded woman liked.

"Excuse me," the employee lowly uttered as he passed by Naruto.

When he was gone, Naruto opened his mouth. "I hate this."

"Pray tell, what bothers you?" Medea asked with a tilt of her head, the large cowl keeping her upper face hidden.

"That damn pitiful stare…" the summoner growled with a hardened gaze as he turned to face the female mage. "I can't stand these people pitying me, especially when I know it's just to cover their asses and save face."

"Well, humans tend to be rather fickle in their beliefs," Medea commented in agreement.

Naruto crossed his arms and took a few breaths to calm himself. The blonde in orange looked around from his position, the men's section squarely in his field of vision. The teen looked down to the eyesore he currently wore, and walked over.

Now that the idiot persona was gone, Naruto figured it was time to shed the outfit as well. After looking up and down the aisles, Naruto settled on a few pairs of khaki cargo pants and an artic cameo-patterned zip-up hoodie with front pockets. These would serve as his new causal clothes. Naruto planned on getting a new combat uniform when he delivered on his promise to buy Lancelot weapons – a rather high priority on his list.

Satisfied with his selection, Naruto started to head back to Medea when he noticed something from the corner of his eye. Swiveling his gaze towards the boys' section of the store, what Naruto saw made him smile. To make the discovery even better, Naruto spied an item he had promised to get his daughter.

"Jack is going to love this."

Pleased with his findings, Naruto returned to Medea in a much better mood. The Caster quickly noticed the high spirits he was in, mentally noting Naruto looked rather cute when he had a more genuine smile. His partially lidded eyes also made him appear more relaxed, unlike how agitated he was not even five minutes ago. She then saw the items she instantly knew were for Jack, and couldn't help but be amused.

"My, going for Mother of the Year, are you?" Medea teasingly suggested.

Naruto's eyes merely rolled in response. For a few seconds, a comfortable silence set in between them.

"For someone branded as a serial traitor, you don't seem that bad."

The sudden comment made the Caster lift a hidden brow curiously, as her contractor began to explain himself.

"At first glance, your appearance gives the impression that you're a backstabber. That smile doesn't help." He stated with a sideways look, Medea showed no signs of disagreement. In truth, the purpose of the outfit was to discourage others from approaching her.

"But," Naruto continued "From what I've seen, you seem more anti-social than anything."

"And given all the shit Jason put you through, I completely understand why."

He saw a flicker of anger at the utterance of that name, but her smile returned within the he same second. Medea allowed an amused giggle to come out before replying.

"My, you seem to be more observant then I expected, got me all figured out, don't you?"

"Just the impression you gave me." Naruto stated. The conversation ended as the tailor returned with a bundle of purple fabric and a pleased expression. Medea nodded with approval when she felt the texture without her glove, it's pleasantly soft texture felt nice under her fingertips.

"I'll ring you two up over there when you're ready." Takeo told them as he peered over at a cash register near the store's left-most wall. Medea told Naruto that she had acquired what she wanted, prompting Naruto to led the two to the register where Takeo waited.

Once everything was checked out and paid for, Naruto asked if he could use the fitting rooms to change into his new clothes. The tailor showed him to the changing area, a few minutes after, Naruto came put with a very pleased smile.

"Thanks, and feel free to throw that crap in the trash." Naruto told Takeo as he Medea exited, the middle-aged man rapidly nodding. No person should wear that much orange!

The walk back to Naruto's apartment was rather uneventful and silent, save for the odd looks Medea received for her foreign Greek-styled dress. When Naruto opened the door to his dwelling, he was rather surprised at what he saw.

Sitting on the living room furniture were two Servants the blonde hadn't summoned yet; : the King of Conquerors, Iskandar, sat on the couch, his large bulk took taking up most of the space, with the rest occupied by the far smaller Waver Velvet.

Surprisingly, Naruto saw Gilgamesh seated on what had to be the most luxurious throne in existence. Gold… layered upon brilliant gold. Jewels of the highest rarity and quality decorated the piece of undoubtedly expert craftsmanship in both design, and material. As Naruto stared at Gilgamesh's seat of power, he had no doubt the price of it was worth more than the village, and that was a low-balling it.

Other than being Five-star Servants, all three had books in their hands, intently reading and analyzing the information inside. The duo of new Servants noticed the new arrivals, Iskandar stood to welcome their summoner, while Waver and Gilgamesh continued reading. Both ignored the loud greeting the King of Conquerors gave Naruto.

"Finally! We meet!" Iskandar declared with a booming laugh, his stature of almost seven feet, combined with broad enough shoulders and muscles to rival Hercules made Naruto feel like an ant standing next to him. He had an appearance befitting the volume of his voice: Stern features combined with dark eyes radiating with confidence, charisma, and a soul-piercing sharpness; hair with the color of fire and a beard to match completed the burly King's facial appearance.

Iskandar also donned bronze armor, with gold detailing on the every line of his abdominals and pecs. A set of bronze bracers, and greaves featuring white fur lining the fringes guarded his wrists and lower legs, whereas his thighs and legs were remained unprotected. Lastly, a thick red mantle displaying gold designs on the back was wrapped around his shoulders.

Naruto couldn't help but smile as he returned the Macedonian Ruler's greeting. The man oozed positivity, seemingly filling the room with his presence. Iskandar offered a hand to his new Master, one which was quickly taken.

"I see you have a firm grip, young Master," Iskandar complimented as they shook hands.

"Good! I would expect at least that much from the one who will help me conqueror this world!"

Naruto suddenly froze with an insecure smile, and pale skin after Iskandar's declaration. Slowly – painfully slowly – Naruto's eyes shifted to the seated King of Heroes. Gilgamesh sat still, save for his eyes passing over the characters he read.

"Your alarm is unnecessary," Gilgamesh stated without looking at Naruto. Instead, the First Hero directed his gaze to Iskandar.

"Remember, King of Conquerors, this world is to be my Kingdom," The warning was given with a surprisingly nonchalant tone as he got off his throne, the opulent masterpiece sunk sinking into a portal which opened beneath it.

"However, you are still free to challenge me whenever you desire, despite knowing the outcome will never change."

Iskandar grinned as he turned to Gilgamesh, Naruto stood idly with a large question mark above his head.

Medea patted his back before returning to the deck with the items purchased at the store.

"Poor boy… Alas, he accepted the deck willingly," Medea shook her head. She wondered how long it would take until Naruto suffered his first mental breakdown from the stress he undoubtedly would receive from the other Servants.

"Oh, well, at least I won't contribute…. Much."

As the reclusive Caster began to silently laugh to herself, Naruto was in a massive state of confusion. Iskandar just claimed he was going to conquer the world. Gilgamesh called dibs on the world. The amount of logic and information thrust into Naruto's head about the golden one pointed to one outcome: an immediate battle which would probably destroy the village and the surrounding forest.

Instead, Gilgamesh had simply shut the book and created another portal, then walked into it, closing the opening regally behind him. Iskandar shook his head before turning back to Naruto, who stood still with an expression that which just begged for the prior interaction to be explained.

The Five-Star Rider gave a hearty laugh at the expression, before speaking,.

"Allow me to explain, Master…"

Iskandar began to tell Naruto of the Holy Grail War he and Gilgamesh participated in, often being interrupted by the Caster named Waver from his seat on the couch whenever the charismatic Rider exaggerated certain details, or was about to tell Naruto of an embarrassing moment.

"Just tell the brat what he needs to know and be done with it!" Waver exclaimed in frustration after preventing his former Servant from revealing a particularly embarrassing moment.

Iskandar gained a annoyed expression.

"Such a killjoy you've grown into… much less entertaining than your younger self," Iskandar complained to the man with long black hair, a large vein began to throb on the side of Waver's head. Eyebrow twitching at a steady pace, the Caster reached into one of suit pockets and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

"Oi! Go outside if you want to smoke! You think I want to smell that crap!?"

Waver felt the previously throbbing vein nearly burst, such was its increase in size. His head snapped towards Naruto.

Iskandar silently cackled to himself as he moved away from between the two. This would be greatly entertaining!

However, during the two's stare down, Waver put the cancer stick in his mouth as he glared at Naruto, right as he began to lift the lighter to ignite it, someone decided to come out. Waver paled considerably when her voice registered in his ears.

"Cease that action! Do you not care about other's health, let alone your own!?"

Nightingale's excessively tight grip held Waver in place as she lectured him, lengthily, on the dangerous effects of smoking around others and himself. For a few minutes, Naruto and Iskandar watched with smug expressions as Waver struggled to free himself. His E-Ranked Strength stat guaranteed he wasn't going anywhere against the Nurse of Steel's vastly superior B+ Ranked stat, and that was without factoring in her EX-Rank Ranked Madness Enhancement.

As amusing as it was to watch Waver be held against his will, Naruto knew what would be truly satisfying to see. With the bag containing Jack's new clothes and other surprises held in one hand, Naruto used his other appendage to fish out Jack's card. Soon after, the girl appeared in front of him, her eyes curiously dwelled on the bag.

"Are these the clothes you said you would get?" Jack asked as she looked up at Naruto, her mother kneeling as he opened the bag to let her see it's contents. The clothes Naruto bought were primarily black, purple and white in different patterns. She slowly began to pull out some of the articles; the first ones were a purple shirt and white hoodie with black sleeves.

Jacks green eyes kept widening in delight as she pulled out more and more articles. They were hers! All of them!

Naruto felt a solid mass impacting his chest, with Jack's arms wrapped around to his back in a tight hug, while her face rubbed against his front.

"Thank you! Our clothes have never been so new!"

Jack peered up at Naruto with a joyful smile and happy tears, her head tilted as she closed her moist eyes and cuddled further into mother's chest.

"We love you, Mom!"

Naruto felt his heart melt. His fondness and desire to see that smile stay rose and rose the more he saw it. The blonde couldn't identify this alien yet familiar feeling, and honestly, he didn't care. All that mattered was how to keep Jack smiling. Keep her happy.

"Is this… how it feels to be a parent?" Naruto wondered as he patted the top of Jack's head. He then reached into his coat pocket with his free hand.

"Hey, Jack, close your eyes and hold out your hand."

Said girl did so immediately, the happiness she felt radiating off her. A soft, fuzzy texture tickled her fingers, before she heard Naruto's go ahead to open her eyes.

Gasping in delight, Jack quickly held her new stuffed great white shark to her body, before once more hugging Naruto once more.

"We love it! Thank you, Mommy!"

Naruto chuckled in delight, if she loved that, then she would squeal when she saw what else he purchased at the store. Removing Jack from his body, he reached to the bottom of the bag containing his clothes, and pulled out a shark-themed onesie which had a dorsal fin on the back, and a shark head with soft fuzzy teeth on the hairline.

Unable to stop herself, Jack lunged at Naruto like a gray-tipped missile, harder than before. The impact knocked them both to the ground. The sound of their combined mass hitting the floor was enough to make Nightingale pause from wringing Waver's neck long enough for him to burst into golden particles, escaping from the medic's wrath.

Now effectively pissed off, Nightingale turned around, yet found all the her agitation gone when she observed the two as one the ground. Jack sat giggling as Naruto held her new toy at her eye level, he kept going '"dun-dun-dun-dun-dun"' in a rhythmic style rhythmically as he made the toy '"swim"' through the air.

The serenity of the moment eased the tension Nightingale felt, and a small smile crossed her lips.

Iskandar also had a gentle smile as he also watched. Having raised a son himself, the King of Conquerors recognized the strengthening bond Naruto had with Jack, as the joys of being a father rushed back to him. Despite being new to this, Iskandar knew Naruto wasn't going to half-ass parenthood, and would genuinely treat Jack as his own, despite the two not actually being that far apart in age.

For those qualities alone, Iskandar respected Naruto. Now… there was just one thing Iskandar wanted to figure out.

"I wonder if convincing Jack to join my army will make Naruto follow me?" Iskandar grinned at the thought before internal laughter filled rocked him. If only it were so easy!

Iskandar soon left, leaving Naruto, Jack and Nightingale alone in the apartment. The nurse had pulled Naruto aside while Jack tried on her new clothes, the girl bounced on her heels in happiness as she mixed and matched different combinations and styles with the articles available.

He followed the woman who revolutionized medical care during the Crimean War, where her efforts to enforce better hygiene and up-to-date nursing practices lowered a morality rate of almost 40% to an astoundingly low 5%. Florence Nightingale was hailed as an angel in her home country of England; Queen Victoria herself supported the nurse in her endeavors to improve healthcare. With good deeds such as those, and Florence's calm disposition, Naruto once again asked the question he had when he first saw her class.

What made Nightingale a Berserker? Perhaps this interaction would give him some clues.

"So, what is it you want to talk about?" Naruto asked as they sat on opposite ends of the dining room table. His posture was relaxed, with his body leaned against the chair's back, as opposed to Nightingale's straight back, and formally set shoulders held back.

Her red eyes narrowed at the sloppy sight.

"Firstly; Please sit upright. Proper posture is beneficial for the spine and your growth," Nightingale requested of Naruto. Her Master raised a brow, as naturally, he had no one who scolded him like this in his childhood, but he did as she asked. The nurse nodded in thanks gratefully, before she spoke again.

"I want to talk to you about your hygienic standards."

Naruto recalled her mentioning that topic earlier, but he had left with Leonidas to train while she treated Kakashi's injuries. Naruto figured it would be best to listen to the Berserker. He may not know exactly why she was placed in that class, but pissing off any Berserker was a bad idea. Especially one with EX-Rank Ranked Madness Enhancement.

"… Why does a nurse have that skill that so high? Or at all?"

"Commander, I have noticed you hold an admirable level of personal hygiene," Nightingale began , praising him at first.

"For instance, most people brush their teeth twice a day, yet you do so three times. Not to mention your habit of flossing after every meal."

Naruto felt awkward at the commendation, and began to realize Nightingale was a bit of a clean-

freak.

…

"Please tell me hygiene isn't what makes her go berserk."

As he looked at her, Naruto saw Nightingale's red eyes sharply analyzing each and every nook and cranny of his home. She wiped a gloved fingertip on the table they sat at, the white material tainted with dust when brought up to be examined. A small frown marred Florence's pale features.

"You've got to be kidding me…" Naruto internally groaned as his hypothesis gained evidence.

"However, when it comes to your household, you fall short of your own personal same standards," She spoke with an edge of agitation before she shot up to her feet. Naruto saw her madness manifesting at her declaration.

"Worry not, Master! I, Florence Nightingale, shall correct these errors and prevent this home from becoming an unclean filth-filled Hell! Leave it to me! I'll accomplish this task even if it takes both our lives!"

Naruto's thoughts ground to halt at her last statement. What did she mean by 'both their lives'!?

"Now I know why she's a Berserker…"

Wait… if this is why Nightingale was a Berserker, then what caused Raikō to be in the same class?!

"Master, as I purge the contaminants from the area, please shower in the meantime."

Naruto heard her voice from right behind him, her movement completely undetected. The summoner quickly jumped out of his seat in surprise, but was soon being pushed from behind by the hygiene-obsessed nurse towards his restroom. A nurse cap and a surgical mask covered Nightingale's lower face and top of her head respectively.

"Seeing that you slept in the dirt after rigorous physical activity, it is proper to cleanse your body of the filth before any further activities."

Naruto didn't resist since he knew it was pointless, and a shower sounded nice right now since his muscles were quite sore, thanks to Leonidas. The steam from the hot water would soothe the stressed areas.

Once inside, Naruto stripped out of his new clothes, and stepped inside of the shower. The water initially came out cold when the faucet first turned on, the cold bit into Naruto before quickly gave giving way to a relaxing heat. A low sigh escaped from Naruto's lips as he moistened his body and hair in the waters warm embrace.

Then he heard the vacuum machine turning on. The continuous drone was the followed accompanied by a soft opening and closing of the bathroom door.

"Crap! I forgot Jack was still out!"

Naruto saw an approaching silhouette from behind the shower curtain. A small hand reached for the only barrier between Jack's eyes and his unmentionables.

"Nope! Not happening!"

"Jack! Don't pull back that curtain!" Naruto quickly ordered the now- still Jack.

Despite the combined noise of both the running water and the vacuum machine, Jack's whine reached his ears.

"But, mom! That sound is annoying!" Jack complained from her side of the curtain.

"I know, Jack, but you can't be in here right now, and especially within the next ten to fifteen minutes."

"Why?" Jack inquired curiously with unseen narrowed eyes. She heard him sigh.

"Jack… I'm showering… That means I'm naked behind here."

He saw the shadow's head tilt to one side in confusion.

"…So why doesn't that mean I can be here?"

Naruto groaned. Of course she wouldn't get it! She wasn't taught a lick of decency! Just another thing added to the list…

"Just… go back into the deck, Jack, you won't have to hear the vacuum machine," Naruto instructed his daughter. Such was her annoyance at the sound that her obedience was immediate. The summoner sighed, but shrugged the interruption off. He went to grab the shampoo when for the second time, the bathroom door opened.

The curtain was pulled to the side, Naruto quickly grasped it to cover his body with a red face. Nightingale nonchalantly changed the hair and body care products with white bottles clearly labeled as medical -grade products.

"Hey! Can I get some privacy here?!" Naruto shouted at the uncaring nurse.

She turned to face him with bored eyes.

"I have seen plenty of naked bodies before, there is no need for you to be embarrassed," Nightingale stated evenly. Her red eyes focused focusing on Naruto's physique.

"When was the last time you had a physical?"

Naruto's eyes contracted into white circles, as his skin turned scarlet.

"Can you please let me finish my shower?"

With a curt, "Very well", Nightingale went to exit the bathroom. Once more, Naruto sighed as he began to put the shower curtain back in its proper position. He heard the door opening, but not closing. His eye twitched, and a tick mark formed on his head.

"Just so you are aware, in case the need ever arises, I do have the proper tools for a sponge bath."

"…noted." Naruto acknowledged, praying that the hygiene-obsessed woman would leave. Much to his relief, she did. Finally! Hopefully, the rest of his shower would go uninterrupted.

"Master, are you really this uptight about people seeing you naked?" Questioned the Three-Starred Lancer, Cú Chulainn disapprovingly.

"Are you serious!? Wouldn't you be pissed if people kept barging in while you're in the middle of bathing?!"

Naruto heard the Lancer chuckle a bit, before he responded.

"Kid, when I was alive and there was a war going on, I made sure that I had at least one buddy with me when I washed myself in a river, just in case the enemy walked in on me," Cú stated without hesitation.

"I can't tell you how many times bathing with someone saved my hide, and seeing as how you want to dessert this place with the baggage your carrying…"

Naruto grit his teeth at the subtle reminder of the Nine-Tails, but said nothing as he scrubbed his hair. Chulainn continued talking.

"That's something you need to start practicing now. Don't worry, though, Fergus and I will break you out of that whole 'modesty' thing."

Naruto just sighed. The Lancer's words were spoken in a '"I'm- going- to- do- this- regardless- of- what- you- say"' kind of tone. Still, things could be worse.

Then Mata Hari decided to give her two cents, which caused Chulainn to howl with laughter.

"Hey, if you're that unsure of bathing with men then I'll happily volunteeeeer!~! I'll make sure to get into alllll those places you can't, and your back will be squeaky clean!"

His skin now turned to the color of a ripe, red rose from the mental image of a naked, soaking wet Mata Hari, and Naruto wisely decided to enjoy his last time showering in solitude. A few minutes later, the showering teenager heard the motor of the vacuum's motor switch off. Only the sound of the water streaming down draining into the corner tile of the shower could be heard, combining the soothing cascade and relaxing steam of the heated water, Naruto felt his mind slowly become at ease.

"Oh, my God! These dishes are abhorrent!" Nightingale's horrified shout reached Naruto from the kitchen.

"I can't even see my reflection! The Commander's home is closer to Hell then I thought!"

Pausing from lathering his body with an orange loofah, Naruto felt a large tick mark form on the side of his head. He eyes closed his eyes as a single, aggravated thought passed through his mind.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

With the peaceful moment gone, Naruto turned off the faucet, quickly exiting the shower and drying himself off. He reached for the spare clothes usually stored in the bathroom; however, a different type of material registered on his fingertips. Curious as to what these were, Naruto pulled the objects out.

His confusion grew as he realized he held was holding blue hospital scrubs. It was obvious Nightingale was the one responsible for the swapped attire, so Naruto wasn't worried about where the clothes came from. His main concern was why she swapped the articles in the first place.

"Those sweatpants were clean," Naruto mumbled as he put on the scrubs, surprised by how comfortable the medical attire actually felt. The sound of boiling water reached his ears when he walked out of the bathroom and into his room, wondering exactly what Nightingale was up to.

"You need to leave before she offers to cook your dinner," Naruto suddenly heard a female Servant advise him, her tone carried an air of urgency. This Servant quickly informed him the purpose of the boiling water.

"She's mixed the water with bleach to form a disinfecting solution to clean your utensils, and plates. This will ruin the flavor of whatever food she places on them."

Naruto gulped at the thought, and hastened to get dressed in his new outfit. He already knew it was pointless to try to stop Nightingale's activities without either a very long lecture or a very physical response. Naruto wanted neither option.

With the cargo pants, Arctic cameo-patterned jacket with a black shirt underneath put on, Naruto exited his room, intent on following the new Servant's advice. It was a bit early for dinner, as the clock in his room showed the time to be 3:30 PM.

However, Leonidas' intense workout and the other physical activities Naruto participated in caused a low growl to come from his stomach.

"I guess I can go for some noodles as an appetizer."

Naruto went to leave his apartment through the front door, pausing from his for a moment when he passed the kitchen. Looking inside, Naruto saw a pot of boiling water and some opened bleach bottles on the counter, with Nightingale standing still while holding a timer held upwards vertically to her face.

"Hey, I'm going out," Naruto told Nightingale.

The female Servant gave him a small nod of acknowledgement. Exiting, Naruto closed the door behind him, and headed to leave the building. The Servant who warned Naruto about the effects of Nightingale's cleaning method came into the summoner's mind. Quickly locating the individual, Naruto offered to pay for a meal as a way to show gratitude for the prior warning.

As Naruto was walking down the flight of stairs, the Servant appeared on the bottom floor waiting for him. She was dressed in more casual clothes, rather than what her card's showcase would show her wearing ,but Naruto saw this as a good thing. He highly doubted that the stools at Ichiraku's had the strength to hold up her plate-armor without shattering under the weight.

The female Servant stood at 5'7", or 171 cm possessing short, pale blond hair, and gold-colored, predatory eyes with slightly slit pupils a shade darker(*). Her bangs extended past her neck on the side, with the majority of her hair's volume neatly braided behind her cranium. She had a firm yet neutral expression, her pale skin did not take away from the alluring features which any man would find attractive; rather, it only added to them.

Dark, almost- black pants covered her slim, toned legs and moderately wide thighs. Two series of gold loops formed a pair of chains circled the pants' right pocket on the right. A white dress shirt covered her torso, with a vest featuring triangle-shaped clasps connected by small gold chains across her belly, three on each side.

Naruto saw the shirt straining against her very large bosom, which also prevented her from closing the buttons on the brown jacket she wore over the underlying article all the way up. Despite her eye-catching figure and beauty, she would've blended in just fine with a crowd had her hands not been protected covered by dark, sinister-looking black-purple gauntlets of a color close to black but with tints of either a dark blue or purple. Another feature which stood out taking away from her ability to camouflage with civilians were the horn-like metallic pieces of metal behind her ears which slightly curved backwards, and the small metal points around her lower jaw.

"Thank you for the invitation, Master," Stated the Four-Starred Lancer, Artoria Pendragon. She stood with a hand in the right pocket with her back against the wall near the door when he reached the last step.

"I didn't expect to meet one of the Alters so soon," Naruto said as he opened the door leading out of the stairway. The younger male stood a couple feet away from the formally dressed woman.

"I figured you guys would be more on the reclusive side."

The manifestation of the dark possibility of the King of Knights future shook her head sideways in a minor gesture of denial.

"That may be true for some of the others, but it would rude to deny my Master's request." Replied the Lancer in an even, if not slightly melancholic tone.

Naruto gentlemanly opened the apartment building's main door for her, shutting it after they both exited. As they walked, Naruto found himself thinking about the Servants who bared the title of 'Alter'.

In the simplest terms, they were merely dark, twisted possibilities of what Heroic Spirits could have become through alterations to their legends, or various other means such as being corrupted by All The World's Evil, a being residing in the trap form of a wish-granting device, known as the Holy Grail. This was not to say these individuals were inherently evil, instead they seemed closer to Anti-Heroes though a few did fit the role of a villain.

The Alter Naruto walked beside ruled her Kingdom of Camelot with an Iron fist, taking the title of King of Storms. Yes, she was a tyrant throughout her rule, yet in her mind, it was the best way to protect her people. That was the main difference between the Alter and the 'normal' Artoria: the execution of their ways of ruling. The true Artoria was kind, yet distant, an ideal King the people loved, whereas the Alter was cold, harsh, and unquestionable. In short, an Alter of Artoria didn't coddle those under her patronage; they were her subjects, not family.

Granted, the Lancer Alter version of Artoria had mellowed as she matured and gained experience in her seat of power. She remained a tyrant, but wasn't as horrible as she could have been. Even in her starting years as King, the people never starved, they were protected from invaders, criminals often received the gallows or ax as punishment, and the economy flourished. Some personal freedoms were unavailable or restricted, yes, but in the long run, the citizens had nothing to worry about.

They just had to obey, and their lives remained secure. The people could even live happily, if they learned to accept it. In a way, it reminded Naruto of the flexibility the Kages had as to how they ruled their villages.

"Why is it the way usually claimed as wrong seems to work out best in the long run?" Naruto wondered as he walked briskly with Lancer Alter a comfortable distance from him. The two had meshed with a crowd of passerbys who gave Naruto a slightly smaller closer berth than he was used to. Since the Master was absorbed in his own little world until a few seconds ago, he hadn't heard the whispers.

Naruto instantly wished Kiyohime hadn't pulled her little stunt, because once more, it was biting him in the ass. Once more, rumors were to blame, and seeing as very few people had actually seen Kiyohime, and had few details to go by, the villagers seemed to have come to a completely incorrect conclusion.

"Yellow eyes, pale skin and horns? That's the 'Kiyohime' he got hitched to?" Whispered a male villager whispered on the right.

Why was he always the center of attention now? Naruto gained vertical lines above his eyes as he heard more of the hushed voices. All the while, the Alter allowed a small smile of amusement to cross her lips at her new Master's misfortune. Still, Naruto couldn't help but mentally comment at what he heard, remembering to keep them private.

"Man, I'm moving to the Land of Tea if there's more women like her!"

"She's from Britain, try moving there."

"…He's had it rough all his life. This is karma giving him his due."

"…I actually want to thank that guy…"

"Wish I was related to some rich guy! That guarantees all the hotties!"

"I think you mean 'gold-diggers', buddy."

Of course, some comments were… less than savory.

"A body like hers wasted on an inexperienced brat… such a shame."

"Not like she'd settle for you either, jackass!"

"Those boobs…! I just wanna' shove my stick between them!"

"And she would obliterate you with Rhongomyniad the second she felt your intent."

Naruto peeked from the corner of his eye at Lancer Alter(he'd address her as such because it would get confusing if he had to communicate with different versions of Artoria at the same time if he only used their name), her face was completely indifferent to the surrounding comments, including the ones directed at her curvaceous form.

"I'm sorry you have to put up with this," Naruto apologized through the mental link he shared with every Servant, his thought could only be heard by her.

"I have heard similar quips from my own troops, until I showed them my power. They never spoke out of turn again, and should I desire…" She gave Naruto an amused look with partially- lidded eyes and a slight smile.

"Neither shall these weaklings."

Her expression stayed the same as they kept moving to the ramen stand, Lancer Alter continued to ignore the words of the insects around her. What she wanted was for the cowards hiding to come out.

"While it would barely serve as a warm up, it would be good to for Llamrei to stretch his legs."

Regardless, whoever spied on her Master could only observe him, as an attack on Naruto would be swiftly crushed. She could call forth beams of light easily capable of wiping out this entire village with little effort, as if God himself had decided to strike the population. A deep crater would be the only grave marker for outsiders to pray to.

And still, that was but a taste of Rhongomyniad's power, of it's true strength as The Lance That Shines to the Ends of the World. However, her Master didn't have enough energy for her to use those abilities to maximum potential, and likely he never would in the future.

"Not that it matters, I am his Lance, my spear will crush every barrier that stands in his way. Rhongomyniad… it belongs to Naruto now."

He was the Master; she, the Servant. Lancer Alter was no longer a King, she now served another. She would serve to the best of her ability as long as she was in his service. As the King of Knights, it was her duty to follow her Lord until the end.

"Of course… there is also… No. I mustn't think about that outcome."

With her smile finally gone, Lancer Alter kept pace with her Master, her previous thought buried deep in her consciousness. She didn't want to dwell on the effects of holding Rhongomyniad for too long. Hands in her pockets, the former King frowned lightly. She managed to resist the blackened weapon's influence before in life, and as a Servant, she had to do so again.

Even now, she felt Rhongomyniad changing her flesh into a higher beings. A Divine Spirits. This was fine. All this did was increase her strength. It was the mental alterations – the dreams – she had to guard against.

"I can deal with the dreams… that's all they are…"

Her statement was true. The visions the lance showed her were only illusions. Unfortunately, these illusions had the ability to become reality should she give in to them, desire them, listen to them. Due to how real they felt, tasted and lasted, these dreams tended to cause one to lose sight of the difference between dream and reality. Once that happened, Rhongomyniad would complete the transformation, and a new god or goddess would be born.

Lancer Alter refused to be that goddess. To accept that fate would bring the end of the world.

Naruto felt an sense of unparalleled relief the second he sat on one of the familiar wooden stools at the Ichiraku's Ramen stand. When Ayame, the daughter of the stand's owner, came out from behind a curtain to greet Naruto after he let them know he was there, she noticed the unknown individual who sat next him. Specifically, she noticed what appeared to be metallic horns, and yellow, almost- gold colored eyes. Her comment made the teenager raise a brow.

"Oh, is she related to Kiyohime?" The waitress inquired, seeing as both ladies possessed horns, pale skin, and yellow eyes, so the two being kin definitely was in the realm of possibility.

"No, they aren't," Naruto answered as he ordered his usual, while the Alter asked for a bowl of plain ramen with as much meat stuffed in so as possible.

"Oh, and serve my meal in the biggest bowl you have in stock," She added. as Ayame began to move away but became frozen stiff

Ayame stiffened when she heard the request. She turned back around to face the new customer with a questioning gaze.

"That's an awful lot of food. You're sure you want all that?"

A single, almost casual downwards nod was the only answer Ayame received. Satisfied with the positive affirmation, the waitress returned to behind the curtain to assist her father in preparing their orders. Hey, as long as she, or most likely Naruto, could afford whatever they're eating, she'd happily take any orders. Not that she's unaccustomed to giving Naruto some discounts due to his circumstances, but still…

While they waited, Naruto turned to the woman next to him to make a similar inquiry to the one Ayame made a few moments prior.

"My mana reserves are low. I need to refill them." The Alter spoke before her Master could voice his concern.

A flicker of concentration appeared on his face, then before his eyes showed some understanding. Naruto faced forward as he waited for his order.

"I forgot her Mana Burst Skill constantly drains her, and one of the ways Servants replenish energy is eating." Naruto couldn't help but be mildly amused. In exchange for the physical capacity to level buildings with a mere tap, Alter Lancer had a never-ending appetite, and a savagely unhealthy craving for junk food. Normally, any sane person would immediately break down in tears at the impossible food bill she would regularly rack up, but Naruto wasn't worried one bit.

"I knew it was a good idea to save those one-use- only free meal tickets Ayame gave me a while back," Naruto thought, happy his wallet wouldn't be empty, or worse, in debt.

Behind the curtain, the ramen duo felt shivers race along their spines as they prepared the customers' meals. Ichiraku gulped as he stared at his stockpile of ingredients.

"Why do I feel as though I don't have enough?"

The pair did not wait too long for their bowls to be served, though Naruto's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw the small hill Lancer Alter received.

Firstly, they had plopped a nine- inch wide, two- inch deep monster of a serving dish. Secondly, inside said dish was beef, chicken, pork, shrimp, along with different types of fish, mixed with multiple vegetables. Lastly, a massive amount of broth and noodles filled the bowl to the brim. Lancer Alter licked her lips in anticipation before she dived in. Naruto shrugged before he quickly ate his own bowl, placing an empty dish down with a 'clink' when he finished. He was about to ask for another, when another hollow 'clink' registered not even a second later.

"Delicious!" Lancer Alter spoke with approval as the three humans stared in shock at the barren bowl.

Ayame and her father became horrified when she licked her lips again. Oh god, not another glutton!

"Another."

Naruto gave the Ichiraku duo a sympathetic smile when he saw them almost soullessly collect their dishes to refill them. Internally, both Naruto and the older Ichiraku were crying: The latter for his soon to be desolate pantry, the former for the deathblow Lancer Alter dealt to his finances. Naruto just couldn't cut the Ichiraku out of the money they would desperately need to restock after she was through eating by using the free meal ticket.

"I can't use the free meal ticket…" The shinobi thought mournfully. His wallet already felt empty.

Once the bowls were filled, Ayame came out with a cart to serve the two, whimpering when she saw the predatory eyes of Lancer Alter zeroing in on her massive bowl. Setting Naruto's bowl down first, the waitress quickly retreated with the cart as the newly -discovered glutton ravaged the bowl, finishing her behemoth meal at the exact same time as Naruto. His eye twitched, and felt a fire of competition build within him.

"Another," Lancer Alter called out. "I want another."

Naruto knew he heard old man Ichiraku sob before a half-hearted, "Coming up…" sounded from behind the curtain. Damn, this woman could eat, just one of her serving size could've filled three or four normal bowls! Naruto's pity for the chefs increased when Ayame returned to once again refill their bowls.

"I knew you could eat, but I wasn't expecting you to be a black hole!" Naruto commented while they waited, his head turned to her.

A small 'Hmph!' came from the Alter, before she replied with closed eyes.

"I told you; my Mana is low, and needs to be replenished. I would help myself to your chakra supply, but the other Servants wouldn't take kindly to such an action," Calmly stated Lancer Alter calmly stated, though she was a tad annoyed. If she was his only Servant, then all she would need to worry about was overdoing it, and withdrawing more than needed. Granted, the Tailed-Beast's chakra inside Naruto would be an interesting fuel source, but for now, she wouldn't touch it unless she needed to deploy Rhongomyniad's true form.

A fourth pair of mismatched bowls was wheeled out, with Lancer Alter's heavier meal placed in the vacant area in front of her. Naruto slackened his jaw as his summon greedily pulled her newest serving closer. So far, only he had wolfed down the amount of noodles she was doing, finishing first in the multiple ramen -eating contests the stand held once in a while, and in the sudden impromptu ones between himself and a members of the Akimichi Clan.

For whatever reason, he felt the need to defend his title.

"I'm going to regret this…. But what the hell, it'll be nice to see if someone actually can eat more than me!"

Before Ayame could place Naruto's bowl down, he put one hand up, and looked up at her. She saw a fire in his eyes, which spelled inevitable doom for the ramen stand's supply of ingredients.

"I'll take what she's having," Naruto requested as he jerked a thumb at Lancer Alter's surprisingly untouched ramen. Ayame only nodded before she went to tell her father. A few seconds later, an anguished cry was heard from behind the stove.

Naruto heard Lancer Alter make another small sound of amusement. Her eyes were closed and a small smile graced her lips as she refrained from eating.

"The last time someone ordered the same meal as myself, the staff asked the others to leave in fear of running out of pork due to our unofficial eating contest."

Naruto felt her amusement at the memory through the mental link they shared. He also saw she caught on quick, and apparently welcomed his little challenge.

"This will be fun, Master."

The cart carrying Naruto's first massive bowl came out, a cloud of depression hung above Ayame's head. She loved him like a brother, but whenever he got into these impromptu eating contests, they always ended up with an empty pantry! At least every time this happened, the loser had enough money to pay for all the ramen eaten….

Placing the bowl in front of Naruto, Ayame quickly retreated to go get the next round of bowls as the two began to dig in. Not even a second passed after her hands left the cart to fetch the next set of large dishes did she hear calls of, "More!" from the other side of the curtain. With a sigh, Ayame brought out the next round while her father furiously hurried to make more.

At first, the two seemed evenly matched, devouring the noodles and meats at a stunning pace for seven rounds, eating at maximum most 28 regular bowls worth of ramen each. However, the eighth round is was when Naruto's rate of consumption began to slow, and after the ninth, he knew this competition was lost.

"I know I'm up against someone whose only reason to eat is to stock up on Mana, but come on! How much can she eat!?"

Naruto had a hand on his stuffed stomach while he waited for the tenth set. How many regular bowls worth of ramen had he eaten? Twenty-nine? Thirty-six?

Naruto silently groaned in discomfort at the thought. He glanced at Alter Lancer who seemed very able to keep eating, but also appeared satisfied with the amount she had consumed. She currently sat silently, waiting for the next serving, her posture straight and unchanged, as opposed to the slumped position Naruto assumed.

Once more, the cart was wheeled out, but Naruto shook his head slowly in refusal.

"I can't… Any more and It'll come right back up." Naruto admitted his defeat as he rested his head on the counter, the sleeves of his new coat substituting for a fine pillow.

Ayame stared at him in shock, frozen in position. She couldn't believe it! Naruto… Lost!? At a ramen- eating contest!?

For a few seconds, the brown-haired waitress just looked between the two gluttons.

Alter Lancer eyed the ramen impatiently.

"Just because he lost, does not mean you are allowed to cease bringing me food!" The former King sharply chastised Ayame, snapping her out of her stupor.

Naruto watched as the pale-skinned woman greedily consumed both mega-bowls of ramen. Naruto covered his mouth when he felt a wave of nausea pass through him.

"Yep… ate too much."

"Thank you for the meal," Alter Lancer stood as she spoke, a hand slipping back into one of her pockets. The other two individuals' eyes widened when she pulled out a gold bar six inches long and an inch wide.

"I trust this will cover the expenses," Stated rather than asked the woman stated, rather than asked when she placed the precious metal on the counter.

Ayame just stared at the bar. Then she looked at Naruto.

"How on earth did you meet this woman?"

Naruto was about to lie, but he felt an internal sharp rise in of temperature in his body. Right… Kiyohime was in the deck right now, which meant lying was a bad idea.

"She saved me from eating my new personal nurse-slash-cleaning lady's poisoned food," Naruto answered truthfully.

Ayame gave him an incredulous stare, arms crossed as her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"... if you have a maid, does that mean you've moved in with Kiyohime?"

Naruto nodded as he got up, giving a quick farewell, before he and his companion began walking back to the apartment. The walk was uneventful, except for when Naruto's stomach began to cramp from the amount of food he ate.

"I am never challenging you to eating contest again…" Naruto groaned as he felt tasted bile and partially- digested ramen in his mouth. Alter Lancer said nothing as she opened the door for him, receiving a quick thanks received in return. Her Master immediately headed to his room, muttering about "Sleeping it off".

The female Servant entered into the literally sparkling apartment. She looked around, examining the size and layout of the dwelling, now that it's clear of unnecessary things.

"Not bad, for a single person's work," The former King judged, although she was used to her personal quarters being twice the size of Naruto's apartment. Unfortunately, she was aware her fellow Servants would grow tired of remaining in card form until needed, herself included.

Walking through the empty dwelling, Alter Lancer entered Naruto's modest room, and saw him laying in bed.

"Master, you are probably aware of this, but you'll need to procure housing for the other Servants."

Naruto sat up in his bed when he heard her voice, and shook moved his head in agreement. He sighed, before answering.

"I know, tomorrow I'll go see if there's any place big enough for all of us to live."

There was a trace of hesitance, but it vanished quickly when he resumed,.

"I…. Know of one a place, but I'd really rather not unless there's no other choice."

Alter Lancer nodded, not wishing to pry further. She burst into the increasingly- familiar golden particles of an astral-formed Servant, disappearing into thin air. Naruto laid back down, knowing he was going to cut open old wounds. There was only one place available on such short notice, and he could affo- no, he didn't have to pay anything.

In fact, he technically owned the entire area.

Unfortunately, the circumstances behind his ownership of the space were… less than pleasant.

Naruto sighed as he stared at the ceiling fan, the irony of his current dilemma not lost on him. Rolling on to his side, Naruto decided to leave tomorrow's anxieties for tomorrow, and slept, despite how early the action it was even and with his sore body and upset stomach.

He closed his eyes, arm slipped under his pillow for support while he tried to rest. As Naruto began to drift away, another life- changing development would soon occur.

A being who should not have been in the deck awakened. They smiled when the information surrounding their revival came to them.

"I will be sure to bring you great entertainment, Wizard Marshal…"

CUT! CHAPTER OVER!

*- Please correct me on this if this is an incorrect description but her eyes do look slightly slit.

Firstly, Lq840i and I would like to apologize to those reading this story. We've read your multiple requests that we just focus on the story, and we agree that would be best. From here on out, we will not stir the pot regarding which world is stronger.

Now, onto the chapter, we would also like to apologize for delay but writer's block combined with a friend being hospitalized prevented us from working on the story.

We've introduced a few more Servants, and Artoria Pendragon Lancer Alter has made her appearance, and a new glutton has arrived. I'll referring to her and the other Artorias by Class name and it they're an Alter since it's easier to distinguish between them.

Now, after considering numerous candidates, and multiple changes, the harem is now finalized: Artoria Pendragon Lancer Alter, Kiyohime, Minamoto no Raikō, Mata Hari, Medea, Scáthach, Irisveil, Scheherazade, and Tiamat. Nine girls, no more will be added, this will be spaced between multiple chapters such as Scáthach and Tiamat. Thanks for voting on that poll.

Now, next chapter is going to be interesting… who is the one that does not belong in the deck? Just how do they intend to affect the world? Who is spying on Naruto and the Servants, and for what purpose? Look forward to those answers and more in the next chapter.

On an unrelated note, I've been thinking about using this story to try my hand at a reading/watching type story. I figured it might be best since if it turns out I suck at those, I can just scrap it and delete it rather than disappoint a fellow author with a crappy reading. Tell me what you guys think about that.

Alright, that's it for now, those with any questions please either send them to my message box, or post them in reviews.

Later! Greyblueflames burning out!