Riddle Me This

by

John O'Connor

Disclaimer: Victorious and its characters are the property of Schneider's Bakery and Nickelodeon. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. No profit is intended or wanted for this story.

Summary: Cat's Halloween riddles lead to an unexpected relationship.

"Hi Tori!"

"Hey, Cat," the brunette replied.

"You know what ghost cars have?" Tori shook her head. "Sheet belts!"

The faux redhead jumped up, laughed and ran over to Robbie, who was, of course, cradling Rex on his arm.

"Hey Robbie, you know what Dracula's least favorite meal is?"

"Fake redheads?" Rex replied.

"You're mean!" Cat screamed then stormed away.

"Robbie, if you are going to keep carrying that thi…him around, you have to watch what you say," Tori said.

"Hey! I speak for myself!" Rex argued.

Tori slammed her hand over Robbie's mouth, ramming him back into the locker. Then she glared at the puppet, "Now, smart guy… Speak for yourself! Say something now!"

Rex's head turned back and forth and his jaw opened and closed but nothing came out.

"I thought so," Tori sneered, pushing Robbie once more then smacking Rex. "You speak to me or my friends again, I'll take an axe to you then douse the splinters with lighter fluid and make a bonfire out of you!"

Turning, she ran after her friend, "Cat!"

Jade stood in front of her locker, watching the whole thing. What's up with Vega? When did she grow a pair?

In truth, Jade knew Tori was strong and willing to stand up for her friends. Just never so Jade-like. She waited another few seconds then slowly followed the other girls, glaring at Robbie as she passed, daring him or the stupid puppet to say something. He already looked like he'd pee his pants. Now, from Jade's glare, he looked like he had dumped a load in his shorts.

Tori caught up to Cat near the gym. "Cat! Hey, you okay?"

"I don't know," the girl sobbed. Tori pulled her into a hug.

"It'll be okay. Hey, wanna tell me what Dracula's least favorite food is?"

"I don't feel like it," Cat said, her voice muffled in Tori's shoulder.

"Look, here's Jade. I'm sure she wants to know too."

Jade shook her head so Tori made a fierce face over Cat's shoulder. Jade mouthed, 'No.' Tori nodded hard. Slowly shaking her head in resignation, Jade said, "Yeah, Cat… I…really want to know… What…is Dracula's…least favorite food?"

Cat peeked at Jade, "Really?"

"Ye-es, reeeally…" Jade replied as she rolled her eyes dramatically.

The smaller teen laughed, "Alright! Dracula's least favorite food is… You ready? Are you ready?"

"YES!" Jade yelled.

"It's a stake sandwich!" Cat declared while using her hand like she was plunging a stake into a vamp. "Right? Right?"

Managing not to roll her own eyes, Tori agreed, "Right, Cat."

"You know what Dracula's favorite food is?" Cat asked eagerly.

"You owe me, Vega!"

Ignoring the Goth, Tori said, "No, Cat. What?"

"Nectarines!" Cat said with a laugh as she pointed at her own neck. "Neck-tarines! Get it?"

Practically seeing Jade's fuse burning down, Tori said, "Cat, why don't you ask Andre your riddles. He's in the piano room."

"Kay-kay! He'll like the one about where werewolves seek stardom!" As she ran down the hall, she yelled back, "Howl-ywood! Aaarooo!"

Tori shook her head then turned to Jade, who was pinching the bridge of her nose and shaking her head. "Thanks, Jade. I really…"

"You really owe me, Vega!"

"Huh? I do?"

"I'm picking your costume for the Halloween Ball next week."

"You are?"

"Yes."

"But why do I owe you?"

"Oh my God! You made me ask Cat for that stupid punchline!"

"I did?"

"Stop questioning me!"

Jade stomped off, leaving Tori stunned in the hall near the gym.

Later, at their lunch table, Tori sat near Andre who whined, "Why?"

"Why what?"

"God, there you go with all the questions again!" Jade declared as she set her tray down next to Tori.

"What questions?" Tori asked innocently.

"I'm going to pop this burrito over your head in a minute!"

"You're what?"

Quickly, to avert a food fight, Andre said, "You sent Cat to me with that riddle about werewolves! Then she told me that monsters read their daily horrorscope!"

Tori chuckled, earning her glares from both of her friends. "Ah, c'mon, that was kinda clever."

Beck chose that moment to sit across from the three. "You know what a monster's favorite cereal is?"

"God! Ever since they started dating, I swear Beck is getting stupider," Jade muttered into her burrito.

"Jade! Be nice!"

"I was earlier and, thanks to you, I got stuck hearing one of Cat's stupid riddles."

Ignoring them, Beck told Andre, "Scream of wheat!"

Andre actually laughed. "That's pretty good!"

"What is?" Cat asked as she sat next to her boyfriend, cuddling under Beck's free arm.

"Scream of wheat."

"Oh yeah! That's a monster's favorite cereal."

Looking up, Jade announced, "The collective IQ at this table has dropped by at least twenty points since September."

"Hey, where's Robbie?" Beck asked.

Jade barked out a laugh, "That is a story! Little Miss Priss here practically tore him a new one when that wooden douche insulted Cat!"

"Hey! I'm no priss!"

"Whatever, Vega. Just be quiet, I'm trying to pay you a compliment. It's a red-letter day when you can impress me!"

"I impressed you?"

Jade's eyes narrowed and she growled, "More damned questions!"

"What…what happened to Robbie?" Andre asked, a quaver in his voice as he dared a question.

"Vega slapped her hand over Shapiro's mouth and demanded the puppet say something. Naturally, the damned thing said nothing. And this was framed by Vega slamming the nerd into the lockers!"

"Why?" Beck asked.

Tori had an angry look on her face, "That…thing insulted Cat, making her run off in tears. I just… Well, I've had enough of that little splinter factory!"

"Splinter factory!" Andre repeated before laughing uproariously. "Channel Jade much?"

Cat and Beck joined in and even Jade started to laugh. Tori tried to glare at them but gave up and laughed along with them.

The euphoria was short-lived. When they got to Sikowitz' class, Cat asked, "You know what group of monsters sell cookies? The ghoul scouts!"

Tori came out of her bathroom, holding her hands over her chest. "Jade, I can't wear something like this!"

She stood there, wearing a very skimpy, off-white outfit modeled after the one Milla Jovovich wore in The Fifth Element when she first appeared in the movie. While Tori's did cover more, it was still essentially two thin strips across her torso, one of which covered her breasts, and a panty-like design that opened out on her hips to go down her legs, with several narrow strips that circled her legs above the knees. There was also a collar with a strip that ran down the front of the torso to the panty/stocking combo. To top it all, she had a short wig with hair that was practically day-glo orange.

"Why not? You loved the movie when we watched it last week at Beck's."

Tori turned to the full mirror on her closet door. "It doesn't cover anything!"

"It covers your boobs – mostly. And your goodies. Your ass – mostly. So what's the beef?"

Turning, Tori gasped when she saw the bottom of her ass cheeks showing in the mirror. "JADE!"

"VEGA!" Jade mocked. She was dressed like Bruce Willis from the movie, complete with a skull cap of short, graying hair. She had a restricting bra to hold in her own boobs. She always said art was pain so she endured…

"Oh, alright!"

Standing, Jade walked over and gripped the material over Tori's boobs and yanked it down while pushing up the underside of her breast. Then she repeated the process on the right mound. She completely ignored Tori's protesting, "HEY!"

Finally, with a sweet smile, Jade saidm "Payback for your fun-time with my girls when I couldn't get in that damned hamburger." Jade added, "And your girls are cute and fun to play with…"

Tori said something else but Jade ignored her. Moving to Tori's back, Jade grasped one cheek and tried to tug the material down before giving up. "Sorry, can't do anything back here!"

"I can't go as Leeloo! This is too…"

"I think you look great."

Tori was stunned at Jade's statement. She actually liked it? And liked Tori in it?

"Jade…?"

With a sigh, Jade turned to look Tori in the eyes. "I was going to wait 'til we had some cocktails in us but… I… I like you. That way. And I think you like me. So sue me if I wanna see you in some sexy costume."

Tori was stunned. Jade likes me? Wow…

Then she asked, "Why are you willing to show me off like this? I mean, you used to get so upset if a girl so much as looked at Beck…"

"I wasn't sure how you felt or what might happen when I admitted how I felt so I figured I'd at least get to see most of what I might've missed out on. But now, I'm rethinking this outfit."

Blushing almost as brightly as her wig, Tori found she had no words. When she looked back at Jade, the other girl winked and grinned saucily. Then she slapped that pert little butt she'd covertly looked at for several months.

"Too late, I guess."

By the end of the evening, Jade looked at the girl who had become her date and said, "I think I can see rooming with you next year at UCLA."

"USC."

"Whatever! I think we'll have fun as roomies." Jade wiggled her eyebrows saucily.

Cat came up at that moment. "HEY-EY!"

Jade jumped and spun, "WHAT?!"

"I haven't told you my new riddle!"

"Oh God," Jade muttered.

"You know what witches are when they live together?"

There was a pause then Cat cried, "Broommates!"

With a big smile, Tori said, "Hey broomie…"

"NOOOO!" trailed off into the night as 'Bruce Willis' disappeared into the house of the boy hosting the party. 'Leeloo' followed closely to eventually find the 'cabbie' in the kitchen and kiss her into silence.