What happens when a plot bunny explodes: Exhibit A. It is 4:00 AM. To match the tone of the story, I have written all of this in one, long night. I can taste colours. I am supposed to be an adult. I hope you enjoy this piece.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all here. Yes, I did reuse pieces of a scene from a drabble in another story, but since I wrote it I call it "recycling".

On Our Terms, For Us, For Nobody Else

Forever can never be long enough for me
Feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do

-Marry Me, Train

Until the day she died and death really did do them apart, Annabeth would swear that this was all Hera's fault.

To be fair, she said this about many things. What she was more specifically talking about was the events of July 24th. Which started two days earlier when Percy and Annabeth were minding their own business at Camp Half-Blood, as they always were when the universe came knocking.

Between Percy's sword fighting class and Annabeth's Introduction to Reading Ancient Greek, they were sitting on the dock with their feet dipped in the Canoe Lake. So many new half-bloods had crawled out of the woodworks this summer that Chiron was double-booking all the counselors with classes and workshops. It was a wonder that they had these twenty minutes to sit together and catch up. Their last year of college had been less busy than this.

Which was why Hera picked that moment to appear.

"Fuck," Percy said.

"What is she..?"

"Just be thankful she's come to ask for something instead of kidnapping us," Percy grumbled, swinging his legs out of the water. "Come on, Wise Girl. Let's figure out what's wrong."

When she saw them approach her, the goddess led them to the Big House. They dried their feet on their way in, Annabeth holding her shoes in her hands. When they walked into the Rec Room, Hera had the Ping-Pong table covered with finger sandwiches, this brand of orange-grapefruit juice that Annabeth had found in Berkeley but nowhere else in the world, and all of their usual cravings.

"We're not fourteen-year olds starving and scared on a quest," Percy said. "You can't entice us with food." He picked up a piece of pizza and took a bite, speaking with his mouth full. "What do you want, Hera?"

"Some respect before you push my patience," Hera said. She looked regal as ever, not a hair out of place like a mother in a 50's sitcom, her gossamer gown pooling around her feet. "I intend to make use of your expertise and reliability. I need something done well and quickly."

"Isn't Jason your go-to?" Percy asked. "What's the point of being his patron if you don't go bother him?"

Hera pursed her lips. "Jason isn't well suited to this task. You two, on the other hand, I know have no attachment to my husband."

"If you want us to go after some poor mortal woman he's seeing, forget about it," Annabeth said.

"Will you both calm down and listen?" Hera said, with a flash of light across her eyes that reminded them that she was an all-powerful goddess. They both shut up. Percy did so by stuffing more pizza in his mouth.

"Isn't that better?" Hera said sweetly. "No; my husband must have no part to play in this business. Something was stolen from one of my sanctuaries. A shield, taken from the ruins of Troy by Menelaus and dedicated to me. I want you to return it."

Percy and Annabeth looked at each other. Percy felt his eyes roll back inside his skull. Couldn't the gods keep track of their own shit?

Annabeth chewed her lip. "In Ancient Greece, your main temple was in Argos."

"Oh yeah, I remember my Dad telling me that story. He says he was robbed of a shrine there by some stupid river gods. Said it was like Athens all over again. Where is that today, though?" Percy said.

"Cattle Country," Annabeth blurted out. "Colorado, Utah, Idaho… It must be in that area."

"Well, it's nice to see that Athena does indeed deserve her title," Hera said. "Yes, but of course that's not where the shield is now."

"Well where is it?" Percy asked.

"I will provide you with transportation," Hera said. She handed Annabeth a lotus flower. "Every time you pluck a petal, you will be transported. Make sure to have a very clear destination in mind, and make sure that you're together. I will also provide you with accommodations, of course. What kind of family goddess would I be if I left you out in the cold?"

"Wait, you're giving us a flower and a to-do list and that's it?" Percy asked. "Chiron won't let us leave Camp without a prophecy, especially not this summer…"

"Oh, don't worry," Hera said. "I'm sure I can convince my brother to let you be. Now go pack your bags. Like I said: I want this done quickly."

And with that the goddess disappeared.

July 24th, 5:00 PM

"It's so stupid," Percy said. They were celebrating the end of their quest with some well-deserved McDonald's. Not that their quest had been that hard.

As it turned out, it was Eris, goddess of strife and disorder, who had stolen the shield to "spice things up" because "things had been too quiet since the last War". Those were her words, not Percy's. He, personally, had had no problem with the lack of apocalypses. He did take issue with being dragged away from Camp Half-Blood, when he should have been using his summer holidays to recover from finally graduating from university, to spend days tracking a stupid minor goddess across the Midwestern United States to Las Vegas, a city so fluorescent and noisy it was ADHD Hell. But, since they were Percy and Annabeth and this wasn't amateur hour, they had gotten it done.

Annabeth, being a genius, had realized that if they went back to Camp now it would be way past suppertime because of the time difference, and she would wake up all of her siblings on her way in. So they decided to spend one last night in L.A. since the two rooms Hera had booked for them were apparently theirs for 'as long as required', according to the bellhop they'd talked to last night.

Annabeth was dipping French fries in her chocolate milkshake. Percy had already wolfed down his food and now he was so tired, he wished that the table wasn't so sticky so he could lay down on it and sleep. When she was finished, they left and started walking around downtown Las Vegas.

"Every time I think the gods have moved on because we're in college now, or because it's literally raining bright-eyed twelve-year olds hungry for quests at camp, we get tugged back in, for the pettiest things," Percy said. "And there's not much that we can do about it."

Annabeth chewed her lip.

"What are you thinking?" Percy said.

"Never mind," Annabeth said. "It's crazy. Although, to piss off Hera…"

"That's the spirit," Percy said.

July 25th, 12:36 AM

Percy woke up with hair all over his face and the smell of lemon flooding his nose. Also the stench of beer, but not just beer of course. Vodka, hard liquor; you name it, he had apparently used it to poison his body, all at once. Nice.

Then the associated headache popped up. Percy cringed as he sat up. Not nice.

"Annabeth," he muttered. "Where are we?"

"Dunno," Annabeth muttered. "What hotel did Hera book for us after the quest?"

"Dunno," Percy said. "But I'm pretty sure she probably got us two rooms and I'm not supposed to be in yours."

Annabeth laughed into her pillow and mumbled something like "Bite me and my unwed ass, cow goddess", but didn't make any more sign of wanting to move or otherwise commute with the outside world. Percy swung his legs off the bed and looked around the room to find Annabeth's bag. She always had Advil on her. Preparation, if not foresight, was the great thing about Annabeth (among others).

As he stumbled around the room his legs faltered and he nearly face planted on a TV stand. He stood up and his hand had landed on a paper. A very, very important paper.

"Uh- Annabeth," Percy said. "I… You know what, I don't think Hera would have any opposition to us sharing a room…"

"She opposes to us existing," Annabeth said.

"No, Annabeth, you- you don't understand. We… shit Annabeth, I think we got married."

Annabeth sat up, arching her eyebrows.

"What?" She asked. She clutched her head. "Owe, too fast. Okay, back to my original question- what?"

"Umm, we have a marriage certificate right here," Percy said. "With our names. And our signatures. It even has a seal on it…"

"Oh fuck," Annabeth said getting out of bed. She was wearing his quest-ripped t-shirt, wearing it better as per usual. She looked beautiful as she came up to him rubbing sleep out of her eyes to properly investigate his discovery.

"Crap," Annabeth said.

July 24th, 5:12 PM

"I'm just saying," Annabeth shrugged. "If we can't directly oppose Hera, we can always completely ruin the sanctity of the institution she holds dearest to her heart."

Percy had no idea what to do with any of the words that came out of her mouth.

But he didn't need to come up with any new ideas; he already knew, really.

"I want to show you something," Percy said.

Annabeth didn't look convince, but she got in a cab with him and that was the important part. He whispered his directions to the driver, who dropped them off in Container Park. It didn't take long for Percy to find what he was looking for: an enormous statue of a heart, made with what looked like chicken wire, but with hundreds of locks tacked on.

"Rachel told me about this," Percy said. "It's called the Love Locket. It was made for a music festival at first, but now people just add locks to it whenever they fall in love, you know? To make it permanent."

He took Annabeth's hands and got down on one knee, which was the kind of thing he thought should have been reversed.

"Annabeth Chase," he said. "We both know we were going to do this someday. You're as much a part of my life as sleeping or breathing. The whole world knows, really. But since you've always wanted to make something permanent and in the interest of pissing off Hera, will you marry me?"

Annabeth's eyes widened and she gave a quick laugh. He laughed too, but Annabeth squeezed his hands.

"I will," she said.

Percy was a little bit shocked too.

"You will? We're doing this?" he verified.

"Sure," Annabeth said. "Even our best-laid plans are always torn apart, Seaweed Brain. Let's… let's not have a plan. Let's just do this on our terms, for us, for nobody else, and do it. I've loved you for so long, so hard, and despite so many things. I don't need a crowd to tell you, I don't need to prove it to anyone, and I don't need someone to validate how I feel. We'll throw a party later if we want to, but I… I want to marry you. There's no reason not to do it now."

A bunch of people around them started clapping. Percy got up and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled softly. Then she got serious again.

"But I can't get married in clothes that have monster goop and hydra blood all over them," Annabeth said.

"I have to get you a ring," Percy said.

"Meet back here in half an hour?"

"You're on."

They high-fived and ran off.

5:50 PM

Annabeth didn't even stop to consider how crazy this whole thing was. She just surveyed Target's inventory until she found what she was looking for- a white, backless sundress with a decently fancy V-shaped neckline, lace on the top, and straps that tied around the back of her neck. It also so happened to be the only white dress in Target.

It fit. She grabbed it and ran to the cash register.

5:55 PM

Percy hadn't ever done anything this impulsive in his life, which was a scary thought. The fact that Annabeth was onboard made it better.

Still, he had no idea where to even look for a wedding ring. This was the kind of thing he would have asked Paul had he, you know, planned it. It was too late now. He liked the idea of it. They were doing this their way. They didn't want to follow the rules, because the rules had never worked for them. They didn't want the whole world to be involved, because the world had messed with them so many times.

Still, Percy couldn't help it.

He ducked into a phone booth and dialed a number in San Francisco that he and Annabeth had called at least once a week throughout their four years at UC Berkeley, either to tell M. and Mrs. Chase that they were coming over for supper on Sunday or for canceling because they were drowning in schoolwork and couldn't make the time.

"Hello?" Mrs. Chase answered.

"Hi Mrs. Chase," Percy said. "It's Percy."

"Hi honey!" Mrs. Chase said. "How are you? I didn't recognize the number… We're just in the middle of supper, could we call you back?"

"Umm, is Dr. Chase there? I really need to talk to him. It's not an emergency, but it's kind of... time sensitive."

She sounded suspicious. "Alright, dear."

A few moments later, Frederick Chase said: "Hello?"

"Hi Dr. Chase," Percy said. "It's Percy."

"Oh, hello," he said. "Isn't it late in New York? Is everything okay? Annabeth-"

"Annabeth is fine," Percy promised. "But I am calling about her, and I really wish I could ask you this in person, but I can't, but I still want to ask you, umm, even if I know that you don't have much of a say and that Annabeth will do whatever she wants, but would you let me marry her?"

Obviously, seeing as Percy had dropped this bomb, the line was dead for a few moments.

"Well," Dr. Chase said. "Well, umm… You're right. That is something that Annabeth will decide on her own, no matter what I say…"

"I know," Percy said. "I know, but… Look, my whole life I've been really inconvenient and out of place and, honestly, sort of scruffy. But I've always been really good with Annabeth. She is by far the best thing about me. And I know her mother doesn't like me, so it would really mean a lot if…"

"If I thought you were good enough," Dr. Chase finished. "You do realise that you're quite young?"

"I know," Percy said. "But we've graduated from college, and Annabeth has that internship at that great firm starting in September, and I've got a contract lined up with this non-profit that does conservation education, and we've got a lease in New York starting in September. So we sort of have a plan."

He didn't like the sound of himself. If he ever had a daughter, he wouldn't let some self-proclaimed scruffy mess marry her. Although he tried not to think that far ahead, because he was getting married and that was already enough for today.

"I suppose with you two, age has never mattered," Dr. Chase said. "You've already been together for so long. And I know my daughter. When she was five years old she told me she wanted to be an architect, and look at her now. She knows what she wants, and she's been very clear that she also wants you. How could I pretend to know better, or not to see that? Whenever you ask, I'm sure she'll give you her own hand in marriage."

Percy's mouth was dry. "Thank you, sir."

"Now this is probably the part when I tell you not to hurt her and to be good to her but I don't know how to do that and I don't want to. I suppose I have until the wedding day to figure that fatherly role out."

"Sure," Percy said. He was such a bad liar, he was lucky this was phone call. "Anyways, I should let you get back to your dinner. Sorry for interrupting."

"No, no," Dr. Chase said. "It's alright. Let me know when you ask."

"Sure," Percy said. "Goodnight!"

He hung up.

6:30 PM

They met in front of the Love Locket again, and Percy smiled when he saw Annabeth in her white dress, converse sneakers, and with her jean jacket thrown over her shoulders. Her hair was swept over her shoulder, and she smiled when she saw him.

"You found clean clothes," she smiled. He'd found a thrift store where he'd found clean trousers and a button-up shirt his size. It was dark blue, but Percy figured he didn't have time to get too fancy.

"I did," Percy said. "I even tried combing my hair."

"Didn't notice."

"Yeah, it didn't work," he said. "And I got you these flowers…"

As it turned out, flower shops didn't have a whole lot at the end of the day -especially when 'the end of the day' was three minutes after they closed and you had to bribe the little old lady manning the cash to let you in and make a final sale. But once he had told her that he was marrying his best friend before their family could say no, she helped him put together a little bouquet with daisies and tiny sweet peas and white roses.

Annabeth tugged one of the flowers from the bouquet and took one of the safety pins holding her backpack together to pin it to his lapel.

"There," she said. She sized him up. "You look handsome."

"And you're beautiful," Percy said. "But that's not new. Are we getting married now?"

"Do we have rings?" Annabeth asked.

"Sort of," Percy said. "I wanted to show you first, you know, to make sure you'd be okay to wear it for... you know... a really, really, really long time."

7:00 PM

Percy dragged her into the antique shop, to the counter where the gentleman who'd talked to him the first time he came by was still waiting. He wore a pink shirt and a bowtie and a look of barely-contained excitement.

"Hey," Percy said again.

"Oh, honey, you look beautiful," he said. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Annabeth said. It felt unreal. The salesman took the ring out from under the counter, and showed Annabeth.

"It's not actually an antique," Percy said. "We're sort of too poor for that. But turns out, this guy makes jewelry on the side. I just… I thought it looked different. It looked like someone had built it to be unique, to look interesting."

"It's perfect," Annabeth said. The ring was dainty, and instead of having a giant stone in the middle, part of the band had been replaced by five tiny raw diamonds threaded on a wire- unpolished and uneven, but completely unique. Sort of like this whole night.

The salesman beamed and started telling them about how happy he was, he had never imagined that someone would use his jewelry to actually get married…

"Wait, do you make men's rings?" Annabeth said.

They picked up a plain silver band for Percy while they were there, and called it a day. They walked out of the shop; Annabeth with Percy's ring in her coat pocket, and Percy with hers in his pocket.

"Where to next?" he asked, looking around. "How do you actually get married?"

7:30 PM

They went back to the Starbucks where Annabeth had ripped the tags off of her dress and changed out of her scruffy camp clothes. They put two straws in an iced coffee and looked it up on Annabeth's phone.

Annabeth took a sip as she read off the details and Percy counted the ice cubes in her cup: "'To score a marriage license in Clark County, you must appear in person before a clerk at a Marriage License Bureau location, either downtown or at one of the outlying offices. Your proposed union must include two people who are unrelated and both at least 18 years old. Proof of name and age will be required, so don't forget to bring your valid driver's license, passport, military ID card or other government-issued ID card…' Do you have your ID, Seaweed Brain?"

"Driver's license," he nodded.

"Me too," Annabeth said. "Okay, good…" She scanned through the list of technicalities. "Are all your divorces final?"

"Yes," Percy said. Annabeth shot him a look, chewing on her straw. Percy slid the phone across the table towards him, that way he could help and redeem himself. "Oh! Okay, here's the address for the Marriage License bureau."

"Amazing, I'll call an Uber," Annabeth said.

"Wait!" Percy said. "You don't have your… your somethings."

"My what?" Annabeth asked.

"Your somethings!" he said. "Your something borrowed, something blue, something old, something new…"

"That's not the right order."

"You know what I mean," Percy said. "I mean… I know we're doing this rashly, but… I don't want it to feel rash in twenty years. I still want to do it right."

Annabeth smiled and kissed him. "Of course, we're going to do this right. Let's go find some somethings."

8:05 PM

They dicked around Town Square for a bit, since it was apparently a great place for shopping and 'great finds!' according to Yelp.

For her something blue, Annabeth proposed that she would wear her jean jacket. Percy disagreed. There was blue thread in the sewing kit she always brought along on quests, so Annabeth sewed ten blue stitches into the hem of her dress- one for every year they had known each other.

She insisted that Percy be subjected to the same little poem, in the interest of gender equality.

"Okay," Percy said. "My something blue is this shirt I have. It's also my something new."

"No way," Annabeth said as she put in stitch number nine. "If you want us to find somethings, we're going to be a lot more creative than that."

"Fine," Percy said. "But your dress can't be your something new since you're putting in the blue stitches."

"That's fair," Annabeth said.

They walked around for a bit. They found a fountain full of coins, and they checked the pennies inside. The oldest they found was from 1954.

"Old," Annabeth said, slipping it into Percy's back pocket.

Annabeth's something old was a bobby pin that Percy found in his bag. They figured that it had probably been there for ages because, in Percy's words, "I've been finding random bobby pins everywhere since we started dating, so maybe it's been there since then". Annabeth used it to tuck a stray curl back.

At a gift shop, Percy found a star-shaped keychain with LAS VEGAS written in the middle, with little blue rhinestones dotting the outside. That became his something blue.

Annabeth claimed that the name "Jackson" would be her something new, but Percy shot that down on account that he wasn't going to get a new last name and so that wasn't fair and anyways she had always said that she would never change her name, so this was clearly a cop-out.

They agreed that the rings would count as their something new, but just in case that didn't count, they picked up a newspaper from the day, their wedding day, and tucked it into Percy's backpack.

They exchanged Camp necklaces as their "something borrowed".

Then they called an Uber.

9:05 PM

They filed the paperwork. They drank champagne while they waited for the first available chapel because honestly, they had decided to get married two hours ago and didn't really care where it happened. Plus Annabeth totally shot down an Elvis-themed wedding because oh, now was the time to draw the line and be responsible? There was also an under-the-sea themed chapel, but Annabeth said her mother was already going to kill her once she found out she'd actually married Percy, there was no point in fueling the fire.

They had no witnesses, opting out of summoning Nico di Angelo at the last minute in case he suddenly grew a conscience and became some sort of whistle-blower. They considered calling Grover too, but he was so busy and this would honestly freak him out more than anything else. Good thing the chapel provided a witness. His name was Antone, and he seemed nice. He took some really nice pictures of them sitting on the bench waiting, of their rings resting on their marriage license and on the ticket with their number. He told them that he was a photography student, and that this was how he practiced. They promised to send him their pictures so that he could add them to his portfolio.

The room they ended up in had creamy white walls and fairy lights for ambiance and it took them about ten minutes to get married.

Percy couldn't believe he'd finally made her Mrs. Seaweed Brain.

10:00 PM

They went out for ice cream after getting married. Percy had brought up the idea of having ice cream cake since you were supposed to have cake after you got married, but Annabeth didn't have the right attitude about it and didn't think that the two of them could finish off an entire ice cream cake all to themselves. So they got ice cream.

"Our parents are going to kill us," Annabeth said, stealing ice cream from Percy's bowl. "All six of them. And Estelle might take a stab at us too."

"That's a problem for tomorrow," Percy said. He looked up at her with a smile. She broke down and smiled back at him.

"Gods, you're such a goof," she said. She leaned over and kissed him; her lips were cold and the kiss tasted like cookie dough. "And just so we're perfectly clear, just because I worry about what my mother is going to do to me once the news breaks in the Olympian tabloids doesn't mean I'm expecting to regret this, Seaweed Brain."

"It's actually Mr. Wise Girl now," Percy said.

"Although divorce is always an option," Annabeth said.

11:00 PM

They went dancing at a street party downtown. Percy had no idea what the festival was for, but he and Annabeth were more than happy to buy overpriced beer at the concession stand and dance and dance and dance. Pretty much wherever they went, they got free drinks if they mentioned that they'd just gotten married- which Annabeth at first thought was a stupid and expensive habit to have when you owned a business in Las Vegas, but then she started not minding so much.

They were both prone to wandering when tipsy. The lights on the Las Vegas strip looked even more impressive after an entire bottle of champagne and multiple free samples.

2:00 AM

Percy tried to convince her that they should get married in Vegas, and Annabeth said no, they really shouldn't. But when they got the munchies at she let him propose in a KFC so they could get free food. They both managed to look sober enough for that to actually work.

Percy messed the whole thing up by describing the wedding to the cashier who gave them their food, at which point Annabeth grabbed the food, grabbed his hand, and ran out, fearing that their chicken would be confiscated.

3:00 AM

Back in the hotel, after fueling up on chicken nuggets, they realized that even if Hera had no credit card on which mini fridge snacks and alcohol purchases could be charged, they should still order a bunch to piss her off more.

They also jumped on the bed. Percy apologized when the man who brought them a bottle of champagne (had they called for that?) asked them to stop.

He came back half an hour later with another bottle of wine (that neither of them remembered ordering), and told them that they were allowed to go on the bed if they didn't jump. That was probably when they got up off the floor and fell asleep drinking wine in bed, although there was no real way to tell.

Percy did remember Annabeth burrowing his chest and saying: "I love you so much, I don't know how to say it. You'll never know, and I'm sorry about that. It feels not fair since you taught be all about love. I wanted you to know you're the best thing that's ever been mine but I have no way to say it. I'll just never admit it sober."

"That's okay," he'd drunkenly answered.

"I'll show you," she promised. "You'll see."

July 25th, 12:44 PM

"The good news is, I think it was a classy chapel." Percy said.

"Yeah, looks like it," Annabeth said. "Well… want to order room service for breakfast to celebrate?"

"How are you not freaking out?" Percy asked.

"I want waffles more than I want stress and existential anxiety," Annabeth said. "Besides. What probably happened is that we got pissed about being sent for a quest while camp is overflowing with willing demigods, we got our shit done because we're not amateurs, decided to fuck with Hera by sloppily getting married in Vegas, got super drunk, and hailed a cab to the hotel we remembered she'd booked for us."

"I guess it'll come back to us at some point. Do you think this place is too classy to have whipped cream on its waffles or..?"

Since they were still going back to Camp to help until the end of the summer, they had to figure out how to play their cards, here.

Annabeth folded her wedding dress and put it at the very bottom of her bag so her siblings wouldn't see. On their last day in Vegas, while they were eating waffles (with whipped cream) in bed and drinking the strongest black coffee they could order to try and sober up, they talked about it. They decided that their parents should know first, and then that Annabeth's siblings should find out before the rest of camp.

"Do you think Chiron will let you sleep in Cabin 3 now?"

"When have we ever needed Chiron's permission for that?" Annabeth said.

"But like... officially..."

"You can be the one to ask Chiron to validate cohabitation on camp grounds, how's that?" Annabeth asked. "Let me know how that goes."

They spent most of the day recuperating and eating the World's Most Expensive Cashews out of their mini-fridge and being newly weds. Just before supper time at Camp, Percy put his ring on his necklace, and Annabeth switched hers over to her right hand, and then they traveled back to Camp. They were going to head over to the Big House first to tell Chiron they were back and give him the full report (of the quest, not of Vegas- there were some things Chiron should never know).

On their way in, they ran into Piper who was leaving the Big House with a can of paint.

"You're back!"

"Yeah," Annabeth said. "Oh, is that the blackboard paint for Cabin 10?"

"Yes! Chiron finally put the order in, and Argus drove it in from the city today. I was thinking that tomorrow we would…" She trailed off and frowned. "Something's wrong. Are you two okay?"

"What?" Percy asked. "Yeah, we're fine. It was a breezy little quest."

Piper didn't look convinced and Annabeth's stomach tightened. If the children of Aphrodite all got this suspicious and started digging…

They were saved by the conch horns blowing. Annabeth kissed Percy goodbye and merged in with all her siblings as they filed into the Dining Pavilion. Percy got a nod from Nico and a 'still alive?' from Jason when he sat down at the Big Three table that they had created. Or that Jason and Percy had invented since Nico usually sat with the Apollo Cabin.

His cousins filled him in on what he'd missed at Camp (they were mostly shaming him about missing a Capture-the-Flag game and screwing up their strategy), when thunder crackled above their heads. Cabin 5 drew their weapons so quickly that their table flipped over. The dining hall burst in activity as a voice from above boomed: PERSEUS JACKSON!

Percy was pretty sure he knew what this was about, and not that he wanted to drag her down with him, but Annabeth had been there too and he didn't hear her name echoing down from the heavens, and that wasn't fair.

The goddess Hera materialized in the dining hall near the table where Chiron, Mr D and Cabin Twelve sat- giving a heart attack to poor Pollux.

"What fresh hell is this," Nico breathed.

"This is not good," Jason said.

"How dare you?" Hera boomed. "Such insolence-"

Percy got to his feet, slipping one hand in his pocket where Riptide was. She wouldn't be able to help him much against the wrath of the Queen of the Heavens, but the ballpoint was comforting nonetheless.

Annabeth dashed across the Dining Hall to stand with him, protectively.

"And you," Hera said. "Annabeth Chase, who hasn't been able to show an ounce of respect in your entire lifetime-"

"Hera," another voice boomed.

Percy should have been relieved to see his dad materialize in the Dining Pavilion, trident in hand, presumably to help him out, but he was pretty damn shocked. So was the entire population of Camp Half-Blood. Also, his father was wearing a light grey suit, like the sea after a storm or early in the morning, instead of his usual Hawaiian patterned shirts, and though those were obnoxious and overstimulating, this freaked out Percy more.

"Hera, stand down."

"Stay out of this," Hera said. "This is between me and your son."

"And all of Camp," Percy muttered. "And probably all of Olympus watching. Great."

"I thought we had agreed not to act like children about this."

"Oh God, it got worse," Annabeth said, as Athena herself materialized in the dining hall. All of Cabin 6 stood up a little straighter. Percy was a little bit proud to see her put her wedding ring back on her left hand. He looked up and Piper totally picked up on the small gesture. Percy saw her jaw drop across the hall. She was going to kick his ass for not telling her.

Though most of Camp looked excited enough to pass out about a third goddess appearing, Hera looked less than amused.

"This has nothing to do with the two of you," Hera said. "Don't show favoritism."

"I contest your claim of favoritism on the grounds that I would intervene in any scenario where you declared open war against one of my children for seemingly no reason," Athena said.

"And I only have the one," Poseidon said. "Sister, this isn't the place. Has it perhaps slipped your mind that Camp Half-Blood is a sanctuary, as determined in the Winter Solstice Meeting, December 1902?"

"Surely even you can see the ridicule of the situation Hera," Athena reasoned. "I mean, Poseidon is citing legal precedents."

"Is this the time?" Poseidon asked.

"Time is a resource that does not run out to us immortals, especially when well-organized," Athena replied calmly.

"They lost their right to sanctuary when they spit on my realm," Hera said.

"Well maybe next time don't send us on a wild goose chase that ends in Las Vegas, My Lady," Annabeth said.

Percy could physically hear the dining pavilion buzzing with activity and epiphany as people realized what in the world Hera was going on about. He made eye contact with his father for a split second only to turn away and make eye contact with Chiron, which was nearly worst. It was like every time Chiron thought he had seen it all, nope, enter Percy.

"Annabeth Chase," Athena said with a warning in her tone, though there was a bit of a smile on her face. She was the goddess of smart people and of smartasses all at once, as it turned out.

"You did not," Jason said, punctuating every word.

"Gross," Nico said.

Good to know Percy could rely on his cousins, here. Where was Hazel when he needed her? Hell, he'd take Thalia.

"I will hold them responsible for this lack of respect," Hera said.

"Millions of people go to Vegas every year," Percy said. "Is it so hard to believe that we were just… inspired?"

"Yes," Athena said. She turned back to Hera. "Although he does make a fair point. They have broken no mortal laws. Once you let Nevada spiral out of control, it fell out of control. Surely, you can recognize the facts."

"The facts are secondary," Poseidon said. "I will not have you lay a single finger on my son- or on my, apparently, new daughter-in-law."

Annabeth blushed.

Mr D, across the dining hall, made sure that even the first year campers who had slept through the entire fiasco were up to date by saying, quite loudly: "Don't tell me that Peter and Bethany got married. Oh dear Zeus, help us all."

Percy raised his hand. Athena was the first to notice and she arched an eyebrow.

"Something to say, Son of Poseidon?" Athena said.

"Yeah," Percy said. "Yeah, umm… in our defense… Well, we did get married to spite Lady Hera…"

"That's not what defense means," Annabeth whispered.

"You're going to make her a widow if you don't get it together," Nico said, not so helpfully.

"But for what it's worth," Percy continued, "we would have gotten married one day anyways. I love her. Somehow she loves me. She walked into my life ten years ago like someone walks into their house, like they were supposed to be there all along. And since that day everything's been shuffling around to make me a better, smarter and braver person. And every day I'm with her I get better, and every day I'm still happy to have her by my side. So yeah we were pissed, and yeah we get clingy after quests like this because we've nearly lost each other so much, but I can't and I won't feel guilty or – or remorseful about what we did, because I love her too much. And isn't that what a wedding is supposed to be? About people who love each other more than… more than it has to be about a plan and a ceremony and a party and wearing fancy clothes that aren't from Target…" He got no reaction from the immortals. "Just wanted to put that out there, for what it's worth."

"Not a lot, unfortunately," Athena muttered.

"Oh but it is, don't you see?" Another immortal boomed from the heavens.

"Please make it stop," Annabeth said.

"Jupiter help us," Jason said, a flicker of recognition (and also terror) in his eyes.

"This is like Christmas," Nico said.

It took Percy a second to see through her glamour, for Aphrodite's hair to flicker from blond curls to another one of the thousands of looks that made her look a little bit less like Annabeth.

"He loves her," Aphrodite said. "She loves him! She's a daughter of Athena, she doesn't anything she knows she'll regret! And a son of Poseidon? Please, when's the last time any of them have done anything they didn't really, really want to do? Hera I don't care if they're married. They have been my favourite love story for. ever. All of Olympus is pouring over the tabloids and the pictures and the play-by-plays!"

"What pictures?" Percy asked.

"And you heard that handsome young man," Aphrodite said. "They're still in love. Which means they're still in my domain and under my protection. And if you don't agree with that, I will bring it up to Zeus myself and you bet your peacocks I can make him listen."

"Mother," Piper said. Jason also looked ready to die, which Percy thought might be a good exercise in empathy since Hera was his patron and so his problem.

Hera maintained Aphrodite's glare for quite some time, before turning back to Percy and Annabeth.

"You're fortunate that Lady Aphrodite has vouched for you," Hera said. "I will not tolerate another insult from either of you."

"Noted," Percy said.

Just like that Hera fluttered away. Aphrodite squealed and clapped her hands.

"We should have scandals every day," she said. "This was so much fun."

"Right," Athena said. She looked at Annabeth. "I won't be able to stand for you again. You have wounded Hera's pride and though I can appreciate the wittiness of it all…"

She didn't finish her sentence. She smiled, bowed her head, and disappeared back to Olympus.

Poseidon looked at Percy.

"Good one. But just because Hera didn't kill you for eloping doesn't mean your mother won't," he said. "Good luck with her. And this lot. I don't know how you were planning on breaking the news, but you're welcome."

And he left too.

And Percy and Annabeth stood with about a hundred pairs of eyes on them. Percy turned to Annabeth.

"You okay?" he asked, trying to be quiet enough so that the entirety of camp, which was being very quiet and leaning in to listen to him, could hear.

"Percy, those were the most beautiful vows you could have given me," she said quietly. He wrapped his arms around her, only realizing that his heart had stopped beating when he felt hers.

"Are you for fucking real?" Clarisse shouted out from Cabin 5.

Before Percy or Annabeth could respond, a familiar cry emerged.

"TO THE CANOE LAKE!" Shouted one of the Stolls, or both.

And they didn't fight the crowd who picked them up and dragged them to the canoe lake. This was probably what all his English teachers had always meant by 'poetic justice'. The crowd did, oh so thoughtfully, keep them close enough together so that they could hold hands.

They held hands right until they hit the surface of the water. They kissed once underwater, and when they surfaced, Percy scooped Annabeth up in his arms and kissed her again. The crowd lost it. Piper threw a shoe at them.

"That was close," Percy said.

"We've had worst," Annabeth said, her curls flat against her shoulders. When she put her hand on Percy's cheek, he felt the silver band press against his skin and he smiled even more.

"Do you think we're off the hook yet?" Percy asked.

"I don't know, but Hera's definitely not going to ask us for more favours," Annabeth said. "If we're lucky, word will spread."

"We're not lucky," Percy said. "But at least we're in this together."