First Times

Chapter 1: Krista

Every time that some of the girls discussed their first time Krista Lenz was at a loss. Of course, soon her fellow soldiers interpreted her silence as a total lack of experience and tactfully left her out of the conversation. However, and despite feeling grateful for being exempt from such uncomfortable conversations, Krista's problem had never been lack of experience. On the contrary, Krista Lenz could never decide which one of her sexual experiences really counted as her first time.

Her first sexual encounter took place among some crates, behind a shed, after a particularly difficult test. It was night-time and most of the trainees were either eating at the mesh hall, or collapsing in the dormitories after the daylong training. Krista had seen Ymir step out for her usual nightly walk, and although she usually respected the other girl's wish for some alone time, on that night she also stepped out and almost had to run to keep up with Ymir's longer stride.

They walked in silence until they reached a particularly secluded area. Then, she took Ymir's hand in her own sweaty, shaky palm, and guided her behind the nearest shed, where they sat on top of some crates. They stared together into the surrounding darkness. Other than the distant sounds of clanking cutlery and indistinct voices that came from the open door of the mesh hall, little more could be heard than the crackling of the nearest torch's flame, or the occasional cricket.

Krista wanted to get lost in the moment and finally relax for the day, but she couldn't…not on that night, for on that night, Krista had a plan. In the morning, Ymir had once again performed a small miracle, and helped Krista pass the test and come one step closer to graduation. Of course Ymir had once again waved it all away as something insignificant, but this time Krista was determined, almost desperate to show her gratitude. She had considered giving the other girl her rations, or even taking on some of her chores, but it all seemed pointless and insignificant. After all, Krista knew that in reality, she only had one thing that Ymir truly wanted. She had felt it in the pull of indiscreet, guilty glances in the showers, and in the uncharacteristic rigidness of the hands that helped her fasten the straps of her uniform every morning. It didn't feel like much to Krista, but if that was what Ymir wanted of all things she would have it. It was the least that Krista could do, and so, with an awkward motion she leaned closer and kissed the other girl.

Their first kiss was short and chaste. Having partly missed Ymir's lips and not knowing what to do next, Krista kept her lips shut and uncomfortably pulled away a couple of seconds afterwards. Sheepishly looking up at Ymir's face she discovered that the other girl could do little more than stare into nothingness through wild eyes.

"I…" whispered Krista through a dry throat, "I want to thank you. For everything you do for me."

At the sound of these words Ymir slowly blinked as if trying to wake up or to comprehend what she had just heard. She finally met Krista's eyes, but when she tried to shift and put some distance between them, Krista grabbed the hem of her jacket with both hands and desperately clinged to her body.

"You do so much for me Ymir," she whispered against her collarbone, "I just want to show you…my appreciation. Please let me. Just for once…let me please you."

The second Krista begun to kiss Ymir's neck, she felt the other girl's hands grab her sleeves. She wasn't quite sure of what Ymir was trying to accomplish, seeing as her hands couldn't seem to decide whether they wanted to push her away or pull her even closer. Regardless, Krista could feel her grasp weaken and tremble with every kiss, and soon she lowered her own hands to fumble with Ymir's belt.

A few precise pulls and Krista's fingers were free to reach beneath the other girl's trousers and underwear, and discover that beneath a patch of silky, short hair Ymir was wetter than Krista herself had ever been in her short life.

Of course, Krista didn't know where to touch in particular. She only knew what she had overheard from one late night conversation that some other girls had had while she was trying to fall asleep. And yet, it didn't seem to make much of a difference as Ymir was gripping the edge of her crate tightly enough to get splinters in her palms. Indeed, Krista had never seen her like this before, although to be fair, she had not seen anyone like this before. With her eyes darkened, her breathing shallow, and her brow glistening with sweat, Ymir seemed incapable of staying still for more than a second as Krista's fingers worked between her legs, and as Krista watched her, she felt something stir deep inside her lower abdomen -but not knowing how to interpret this involuntary reaction she decided to ignore it as best as she could for the time.

Besides, she was beginning to worry about what to do next, and to blame herself for starting something she didn't really know how and when should end. It was at this moment however that Krista found Ymir's entrance -in fact she was so slick that her fingers almost slipped in by accident. She was terrified of hurting the other girl, but she had once again heard one of the other cadets -had it been Hannah?- say, that she had heard, that another cadet had heard, that "a girl could only be properly satisfied through penetration". Besides, being older and looking much more experienced, Ymir was bound to expect something like that, Krista reasoned.

And so it was with such solid thinking that Krista entered Ymir with shaking fingers. She pushed in two digits and almost pulled out when she felt how tight Ymir was -so tight that her walls were almost fighting her hand. But Ymir herself didn't seem to object, especially when she unconsciously spread her thighs a little further, giving Krista more space. So, Krista pushed in, and although the pressure around her fingers didn't feel too pleasant, Krista would have lied had she said that there wasn't something irritatingly fascinating and even attractive in the unbelievable heat and thick wetness that she held in her hand.

The rest of the experience didn't last much longer. Soon, and only after a few thrusts, Krista's fingers slipped and she ended up cupping Ymir's womanhood. Her palm rubbed where Krista thought was too high and too far away from Ymir's entrance to cause any real pleasure, but to her surprise Ymir let out a strangled cry and shivered. Later, an older Krista would look back on this night and thank whatever instinct guided her to continue stroking where at the time she thought was nothing of importance, instead of stopping to ask Ymir, who was soon shaking from head to toe and gasping for air, if her shaking was a sign of discomfort.

When finally Ymir's hold on the crate relaxed and her breathing slowed down, Krista removed her hand and gently fastened her belt again. Then, she just sat and stared at Ymir in awe, as if she had just revealed to her the secret behind the creation of everything. Before, she had worried that things would get awkward between them, and that she wouldn't know what to say, but when Ymir finally met her eyes with an equally troubled expression, Krista heard her own voice ask an anxious: "Did you like it?".Ymir nodded sheepishly, and uncharacteristically lowered her gaze, and Krista could only smile in relief and mumble something about being happy.

It wasn't until they returned to the girls' sleeping quarters and Krista begun to prepare for bed, that she noticed stains of dried blood on her fingers. She rubbed her nails under the cold water and decided that it must have been that time of the month for the other girl. It was, she decided, the only reasonable explanation as to why somebody who undeniably seemed so experienced would bleed during intercourse.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Indeed, there had been a lot of firsts on that night. It was the first time that Krista kissed another person, the first time that she took another girl -and her virginity-, and it was the first time she not only gave, but mostly witnessed an orgasm. And yet, her own first orgasm didn't come until a couple of months later.

On that evening, Krista felt that she would die. The news had hit the camp shortly after her own group had returned and changed into civilian clothing for the night: there had been an accident. Another group of cadets had been assigned to moving some heavy machinery, a strap had snapped, and several cadets had found themselves crushed beneath cold metal.

It was confirmed that Ymir had been in that group.

The second she discovered the location of the accident Krista run out of camp. Her mouth felt like sandpaper and her stomach kept churning as she desperately searched among the faces of the survivors and struggled to ignore the bodies of the victims that she could see laid out from the corner of her eye.

Ymir had been sitting under a tree, a few metres away from the site. Hidden by some thick bushes, Krista only found her by luck when in a state of frenzy she run away from the mangled corpses and tripped over her outstretched legs. Ymir calmly helped her sit up, as if nothing had happened, as if their comrades were not lying dead a few feet away, as if she herself could not have been lying amongst them. It was more than Krista could take…Letting out a strangled cry she frantically touched Ymir's face and pulled at her clothes in search of wounds. She almost fainted when she saw that Ymir's shirt was bloodied and badly torn, but following her gaze, Ymir took her hand and guided it beneath the shreds of fabric where her skin was abnormally hot, but smooth and intact.

It wasn't enough. Krista tagged violently at the bloody shirt until Ymir helped her pull it over her head. She stared at the naked body beneath her and desperately run her fingers across the other girl's chest and tight abdomen, feeling her skin for the smallest scar. It was flawless.

When Krista finally looked up Ymir was smiling at her reassuringly with that annoying, typical smirk of hers, and as a wave of gratitude washed over her, Krista fell on her and kissed her lips.

This time the kiss was hungry. Krista sucked, and licked, and bit, and only briefly stopped to frantically draw breath against Ymir's lips as the latter tenderly brushed back a strand of golden hair that kept getting in the way, or whispered something silly about being sorry.

It still wasn't enough. Now that she had her back, Krista wanted more. She wanted all of her. She looked down while her shaking hands pulled down Ymir's trousers, but when her fingers curled at the sides of her underwear Krista paused and tried to figure out what Ymir would want. Should she pleasure her with her fingers again, or maybe…with her mouth?

The debate didn't last long. On that day, selfless Krista decided that she didn't care about what anyone else wanted, including Ymir. All that mattered was what she wanted: to have Ymir.

It only took a swift movement for her to tack up her skirt and straddle Ymir's waist, bringing their womanhoods dangerously close. Ymir's eyes darkened and glazed over as she stared between her legs. The older girl looked wild, almost as if something feral was stirring and struggling beneath her surface in search of release. She was clearly fighting to retain control over her urges, but Krista would have none of it, not when she was being driven by such a newfound and tremendous sensation: the sensation of an ever expanding and pulsating heat deep inside her body.

She desperately kissed Ymir while her fingers reached out to grasp unruly hair, or a toned stomach, or a firm breast…anything and everything that was Ymir. Ymir herself could no longer take this new chaos that was Krista and broke the kiss to ravage her neck, while her hands slipped beneath Krista's skirt to grab her thighs. The younger girl didn't even realize she had accidentally scratched her lover's shoulder as she held on for dear life. This was by far the best thing she had experienced at the time…or perhaps it was the worst…she couldn't decide, not when everything in her head seemed to break, and melt away, and then break again, and as she lowered her body and her own heat was met by Ymir's, separated only by the thin layers of their underwear, it was not her head, but pure instinct that made her roll her hips.

The newfound friction did little to ease her discomfort. On the contrary, Krista felt the heat swell and demand even more from her. And yet, she couldn't seem to stop. Almost against her will and better judgment -but only almost- Krista continued to desperately grind against Ymir. She could tell that Ymir was also feeling this, as she had stopped kissing and was instead struggling through labored breathing not to bite too hard at the crook of her neck.

With every thrust Krista felt hotter and hotter as something inside her rose, and swelled, and spread in search of a release that seemingly did not exist…until something cracked and everything collapsed. Krista had no idea what was happening to her. It was as if she had been separated from her own self by a wall of steam, but she vaguely felt that she sat up and her back tensed as her entire body shuddered in desperation.

By the time her hips gave that final roll, she was only aware of the sound of her own heartbeat and the heated twitching between her legs. Sweat trickled down her brow and nose and fell salty into her mouth as she gasped partly for air, and partly in an attempt to voice what had just happened to her. Then her senses receded into nothingness, and when she fell on top of the other girl everything vanished.

It was still dusk when Krista awoke with her head painfully nestled against Ymir's collarbone and her hair plastered on her cheek with dried sweat. She tried to lift her head and look around in an attempt to estimate how much time had passed, but she quickly looked down when she felt something wet on her cheek. Apparently she had been lying in a paddle of her own drool.

"Ymir…I am so s-" she began as she hurried to get off the other girl, only to stop when she felt another wetness, sticky between her thighs. This time she looked down to see a dump stain on Ymir's underwear, in an area that was too high up for this to be a result of Ymir's own wetness. Krista briefly met the other girl's gaze through terrified eyes, only to look back at the drool on Ymir's chest and blush. "I am sorry…" she finished, "I made a mess."

Then she heard Ymir exhale in disbelief and looked at her anxiously. "Krista," she said as she took the younger girl's hand in her own, "this was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

They sat in silence for a while until Krista giggled in relief and they finally parted. They had to return to camp, so Krista hastily fixed her own clothing and then watched as Ymir buttoned her pants and then put on her tattered shirt without wiping the drool.

-x-x-x-x-x-

And yet, Krista couldn't positively say that they made love until that morning: the morning after they almost died up on the snowy mountains.

As an act of kindness they had been ordered not to gear up at sun break and train in the forest like the others. Instead, after breakfasting, they had been told to remain behind and assist with maintenance -a job that didn't really require more than one hour's work. Afterwards they were free to return to the warmth of the girls' sleeping quarters.

They lit a fire and sat on Ymir's bed since it was closer to the hearth. For some time they stared at the flames in silence.

Suddenly, Ymir turned and looked at Krista. Her eyes were pained and it appeared as if she was trying to understand something…perhaps to find something in Krista's eyes…Then, she lightly stroked her cheek and bend down to kiss her lips.

Krista was surprised at the gentleness of the kiss. Ymir always tried to appear hard and selfish, but this kiss was soft and made no demands whatsoever. When Krista felt that Ymir would pull away too soon she deepened the kiss herself, desperate to keep her close. This tenderness was something she had never known before Ymir. Once again she found herself craving more and instinctively slid her hands beneath Ymir's shirt, but Ymir stopped her.

"Krista," she said through ragged breathing, "you don't have to do this. Just because…you don't owe me anything."

And right then, in that moment, in those words, Krista understood and saw Ymir for who she truly was: not a selfish cold hearted beast, but somebody who had simply been unwanted for too long. Somebody like her.

She undid her shirt's buttons as Ymir watched and then she let it fall to her sides. Ymir's eyes widened and Krista could have sworn she swallowed with nervousness when she reached out, entwined their fingers, and then placed Ymir's hand above her breast.

"Ymir," she whispered, "I want you to. I want you."

Ymir licked her lips and stared down at her own hand. She shivered as she awkwardly lowered the straps of Krista's bra before unclasping it and letting it fall, and then she stared at the blonde's torso through hazy eyes. When she bend her head and took a nipple in her mouth Krista thought she was going to die. It was the most arousing thing she had ever seen, and it was through shallow gasping that she tagged at Ymir's shirt. Ymir was bare-chested in seconds and it was Krista's turn to stare. The taller girl's body was gorgeous…well toned, but not too much. Krista was fascinated as she watched slim muscles dance with every ragged breath beneath surprisingly smooth and soft skin.

In fact, Ymir's body was missing several scars from injuries that Krista herself had witnessed, but she had no thoughts to spare on the matter when their bodies came together and she got lost in the sensation of skin against skin. She melted against Ymir as their cautious kissing turned deep, and then sloppy. When she broke the kiss it was only to collapse, heaving, on her back. Then, straining, she propped herself up on her elbows and glanced through heavy lidded eyes first at her own belt, and then at Ymir.

It took Ymir a couple of tries to undo Krista's belt, but eventually she slid shaking hands beneath the tight, white fabric and pulled both trousers and underwear down, caressing Krista's thighs with her palms in the same movement. Krista shivered at the touch, and when her clothes lay on the floor she blushed and pressed her legs together.

Ymir's hands found it a lot easier to undo her own belt. She discarded her remaining clothing with speed and precision, while Krista tried not to look at the exposed fine, dark hair that was already matted at places with wetness. Then, Ymir gently touched one of her knees.

Krista was certain she couldn't do this. Her heart thudded in her chest and her cheeks burned with embarrassment, and eventually it felt as if she was no longer in her body, but outside, watching as a girl who looked like her spread her knees. But then she was back, and Ymir was lying on top of her, kissing the corner of her lips and her jaw, as she settled between her legs and run a surprisingly smooth palm down her flat abdomen.

By the time Ymir's fingers slid between her folds Krista's stomach was in a knot and her lower abdomen felt unbearably hot. She had decided in her mind that she would definitely remain quiet as sex noises always seemed so embarrassing to her, but the second Ymir's slender fingers touched her wetness she cried out in pleasure.

It took a lot of reassuring caresses and open mouthed kisses for Krista to quiet down -there were still some people in camp after all and what they were doing had to remain a secret- but after a while it was only her ragged breathing against Ymir's ear that betrayed her arousal. Ymir continued to stroke her slowly until her fingers practically stumbled upon her entrance. Krista watched her blush as she quickly tried to move her hand away, and then almost without thinking, she also reached down and stopped her. Their eyes met briefly. Then, Krista released Ymir's hand and tightly held on to her lover's back. Ymir slowly entered her.

There was some pain, and Krista had to hide her face in the crook of the other girl's neck at first, but Ymir was gentle, and soon the blonde felt an intense pressure build up in her lower body. She squirmed under Ymir's body, and rocked her hips to meet the touch that was finding places inside her that she herself hadn't known existed until that moment. With every thrust Krista could tell that she was getting closer to that shattering release that she had only experienced once before, and which now she knew to be her orgasm. And yet, something was off. She was definitely being pleasured, but something was different from their last coupling. Krista couldn't shake this feeling away, and when she opened her eyes in frustration she knew. Ymir was missing. Her fingers where inside her, and her body against her, but Krista wanted to have a complete connection. She wanted to feel Ymir's rhythm and energy as she took her own pleasure. She had to feel her heartbeat…her breathing…her everything…she had to…

"Ymir!" she cried. The other girl froze. She tried to ask if something was wrong…if she had hurt her, but Krista hushed her with a kiss. Ymir's fingers where still inside her. Krista could feel them with every breath she took and it was through heavy panting that she spoke. "Ymir, I…" she stuttered, "…I want more…I want to…feel you…I want to feel you as well…is there a way?". She paused to swallow while Ymir blushed, and Krista was certain that a very similar colour stained her own cheeks.

"You want me to…" she heard Ymir trail off in a husky voice.

"Can we…can we touch…like last time?"

Krista had never seen Ymir look scared like that before…not even during the hardest training…not even during the previous night when they almost froze to death. But Ymir nodded and to Krista's discomfort removed her fingers. Then, she snaked one arm around Krista's thigh, smudging it with the wetness that still coated her fingers, lifted her legs a little off the mattress, and brought her own centre between them.

At first Krista wasn't sure if she could feel anything. There was the prickling of trimmed hair against her own…and some pressure, but that was all. She figured that Ymir wasn't making contact either as she felt her shift a little in search of friction. Krista was about to suggest that this had been a bad idea when she felt Ymir's body tense and grind against hers. Her mind went blank.

Krista couldn't believe what was happening to her. Ymir was so alive, and hot, and strong on top of her. She kept hitting something that made Krista's breath catch in her throat, and she struggled to keep her groin in place, as she got lost in the smell of female sweat and blood -they would discover the stain on the sheets later. Krista was certain she would die if Ymir stopped. And yet, it seemed as if she had so little control over this… So, she wrapped her legs around Ymir's waist, dug her nails into her back, and gave in to the unexpected relief of trust and complete surrender.

Of course Ymir didn't stop. She kept bringing their womanhoods together, slowing down only to kiss Krista's lips through her own labored breathing until Krista gave a stifled cry and came. By the time she regained consciousness there was a thin layer of their mixed sweat where their bodies kept touching, and Ymir's back was covered in steamy scratches.

Ymir stopped to look at her through dark eyes and caress her face and Krista felt her reluctance to continue. The girl was such an idiot, she thought. All this talk of living for herself and she couldn't even take her own pleasure after satisfying her lover.

"Ymir," she whispered, "don't you dare stop."

Krista saw Ymir's eyes widen with arousal, and then she felt her rock against her fresh wetness. It didn't last long. Ymir had been holding back for too long already, and after her orgasm Krista was just too hot and wet. A couple of desperate, possessive, almost animalistic thrusts and Ymir shuddered and collapsed while the wooden bed post creaked under her grip.

They lay in quiet bliss for what seemed as a long time. Krista watched with fascination as drops of sweat fell on her from Ymir's dump hair and Ymir's hold on the bed eventually relaxed. The older girl was spent, but she still managed to kiss the blonde's forehead before gently rolling off her. She fell on her back and they looked at each other. Krista was still feeling a little swollen and hot, but this wasn't necessarily bad. She gave Ymir a bright look and Ymir returned the smile. It was a peaceful smile, clear, and innocent, and almost childlike. It was free of the darkness and cynicism that usually hang on Ymir's trademark smirk…

-x-x-x-x-x-

Yes, Krista Lenz had had several first time experiences…all of them valid in certain ways…or not… She still hadn't managed to distinguish which one was her true first, but it didn't really bother her…it didn't really matter. Ymir had been there in all of them… in all of her first times. Ymir had been her first time.

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Next chapter: Historia