Kylo finds himself back in the not-quite-right bedroom of his dreams, notably not destroyed and Rey is once again nestled against his side.

He sighs deeply and pulls her close. They'd only just found this way to be together when he'd nearly destroyed it all. He hadn't had nearly enough of her before, and now his need to simply hold her is overwhelming.

She tries to shift in his arms but he holds her fast. "Not yet. Please, just let me hold you, let me feel you, Rey."

She relaxes into his arms and her own arms tighten around his torso. "I understand."

"I don't think you do. I've almost lost you twice now … and there won't be a third time. I won't lose you. I won't. You don't know what being without you did to me."

"I know … I watched."

"You did?" he asks in surprise. When she didn't come back, he'd assumed she hadn't heard him and he's a bit embarrassed that she'd seen him fall apart so completely. There's a small part of him that's wounded that she let him hurt like that, even though he knows it was entirely his fault.

"It was so hard not to come to you … but … I couldn't trust you. Not until I saw what you did for that family. You see it now, don't you? That you have to leave Snoke?"

He clenches his jaw. He knows she's right, on some level. He'd even wanted to talk with her about it. But now, with her clasped close, he's not ready to truly face it. He's done too much, followed this path for so long … he's not sure he's strong enough to admit how wrong he's been.

"You do see it, don't you Ben?"

"I don't know," he says slowly. "But … I do know that the only thing that makes sense is you."

"Oh … I thought … after Quol … what you said ..." she trails off, her tone laced with disappointment.

"I need time … please."

"Alright," she concedes after a long silence. Then she places a soft caress against his neck and it makes him shudder.

He strokes his hand through her hair and her fingers trail along his chest, occasionally tangling in the fabric of his tunic. It's a slow learning of each other's bodies, as heat is stoked beneath their hands.

She's so soft, so perfect. He shifts so that he is hovering over her, looking into her eyes. They're wide and open.

"I love you. You know that, don't you? You know that, right now, loving you is the only thing that I know how to do? The only thing that matters to me?"

"I … I know that you love me. I still … I still wonder if it's selfish of me … if I shouldn't free you-"

He holds her eyes intensely and clasps her shoulders. "No. No. You can't free me, Rey. I'm yours. I'll always be yours."

She blinks up at him and her lips part as she inhales sharply. Her eyes are still unsure, but when her tempting pink tongue comes out and moistens her lips, her perfect mouth steals all of his attention.

"I don't want to be free," he murmurs as he descends on her, delving his tongue between her inviting lips. She meets him eagerly and he's lost in the heat of her mouth. Oh, kissing Rey is the most transcendent feeling he's ever experienced.

Molten heat gathers in his core as their passion turns almost frantic. She pulls him over her and wraps a leg around his. Without conscious thought he settles himself in the cradle of her hips. He's capturing her needy cries with his kisses and she grinds against him.

He feels her clever hands come up under his tunic and she's pulling at the cloth. They have to pull back from each other for the time it takes to yank the offending fabric from his body. Oh, Maker, she's pulling off her own top and he's never seen a more gorgeous sight than her rosy nipples, tight and begging for his tongue.

Kylo doesn't know where to start. He wants to pull her close and feel her skin against his. He wants to capture her lips again. He wants to see how much of her breast he can take into his mouth. Too many options and he's frozen, just staring.

Then she takes the choice from him, grabbing him by the hair and pulling his head back so his neck is fully exposed to her. A deep, rumbling groan is pulled from him when she feasts on his neck, sucking, kissing, biting with her sharp little teeth. Each new sensation makes him thrust against her, the friction of the fabric pushing him higher and higher. She's so hot against him and he wonders what she feels like beneath the remaining cloth keeping them from each other.

She's sucking at where his neck meets his shoulder and her pert breasts are pressed against his chest. He's not even sure how to parse how glorious her naked flesh feels against his. And again he's thinking of what it would be like to be completely bare with her.

His head falls forward when she releases his hair and now it's his turn to taste her skin. But he pauses as he's about to kiss along her neck, holding her eyes. They're both panting and his face is inches from hers. He searches her face, needing to ensure that he's not going too fast. She'd told him she wasn't sure she could trust him …

"Rey," he rumbles, then he pushes her hair back behind her ear and holds his forehead against hers. "Tell me what you want."

"You, I want you," she almost whines.

He shifts, again catching her eyes. "How much of me?" he asks, his voice deep and husky with desire. But there's a note of insecurity that even he can hear. She hadn't affirmed her love for him and he finds he's not sure he can take this where they're headed if she's not his, too.

She hooks her legs around his waist and purposefully pulls him flush against her center. "All of you. I want to show you how much I missed you, I want to show you that you're mine."

Oh, Force. Hearing that he's hers goes straight to his cock and he gets even harder. He struggles to keep his mind focused. He refuses to regret one moment with her and he needs … he needs her to understand.

"I've never … I've never done this before and … Rey, it will mean something to me. It will mean everything to me."

Her hands stroke along his naked back and she smiles shyly. "Oh, Ben … don't you know I feel the same way? You know I hadn't even kissed anyone before you …"

He whispers his fingers along her cheek, looking deeply into her eyes. "Yes, I do … I just …" He lets out a shuddering breath. He needs to know. "You … you only told me the once and I … well we know how badly I handled it. Do you … do you still love me?" he asks so quietly it's barely even a whisper.

Rey freezes under him. She had been subtly moving against him the whole time they've been talking and his heart is in his throat at her stillness. He knows his eyes must be frantic with fear.

She closes her eyes and he wonders if his rejection has cost him her love. Perhaps she's here out of compassion … or mere curiosity. Maybe she just wanted to have this experience and he's her only option.

Kylo starts to pull away and her legs tighten around him with surprising strength. Her eyes fly open and she gasps out, "Yes!"

It's his turn to go still. "Yes?" he coaxes, hoping with his whole soul to hear those precious words from her again.

"Yes … I love you." Her voice quavers and she looks almost afraid. But then she takes in a deep breath and her expression clears. She holds his eyes boldly and repeats, "I love you," in a clear, strong voice. Then she's again gliding her hands over his skin and pressing herself against him.

Swiftly, he moves his hands to cup her face and he kisses her fiercely. She loves him! Rey wants him and she still loves him!

The fraught emotions had dampened his arousal, but then she takes his hand and places it on her breast as she arches into his touch. The sublime feeling of her taut nipple against his thumb has him dizzy with want in no time and soon he's thrusting against her again.

She whimpers into his mouth as he plucks at the plump, red tip of her breast. He's fascinated with how the flesh crinkles under his touch and he simply must feel it against his tongue. Pulling his lips from hers, he kisses and licks down her delicate throat, then burns a trail of caresses along her chest until he reaches her delectable peak.

He draws it into his greedy mouth and delights in how it swells further. He sucks gently and Rey cries out, "Yes, please, oh please don't stop."

A satisfied growl reverberates across her skin and he increases his attentions, pulling more of her breast between his lips. He sucks harder and she bucks against him; he's so hard it almost hurts.

"I need … I need … Oh Maker, I need-"

"Tell me, tell me what you need," he begs, pulling from her breasts and looking at her flushed face.

She writhes against him and pants out, "I don't know, I need more. Please, Ben."

He's not really sure what to do. His limited experience hadn't taken him this far. But he knows what he needs, he needs her, the tension driving him nearly mad. She must be feeling it, too.

Hesitantly, he hooks his thumb at the waistband of her leggings and catches her eyes. She nods emphatically and he goes up on his knees next to her on the bed, pulling her clothing down. Now there's only a small scrap of fabric keeping her from being completely naked. His fingers tremble as he removes that, too.

He sits back on his haunches, looking at her exquisite body laid out before him. She's breathing heavily and her hands curl and uncurl as her thighs rub together. "Please," she begs.

"You want …"

"I told you, I want all of you." Her eyes burn.

Nodding once, he stands and shucks the rest of his clothing quickly. His whole body is thrumming with anticipation and he stretches out next to her. He remembers hearing somewhere that women need to be … prepared, and he's not quite sure what to do. But he's determined to figure it out.

"I want to make you feel good, but I need your help. I need you to tell me what you like," he says with much more confidence than he feels. She nods her understanding she's taking in quick little breaths.

He trails his fingers up her thigh and they part for him. Gently, he cups her mound and slowly probes at her entrance. Stars, she's so wet! He enters her with one long finger and her breath hitches. He adds another and, oh, it's so easy to imagine her walls tight around him.

His fingers pulse in and out of her and he watches for her reaction. She gasping out high, needful sounds and they grow more insistent when he curls his fingers, finding a spot that feels a bit different. "There, right there," she groans.

He almost wants to kneel between her legs, open her folds and really look at her. But instead, he takes his now sopping fingers and rubs along her outer lips, up until he feels the center of her pleasure. He's not entirely ignorant about a woman's anatomy, he just didn't ever think he'd put it to practical use.

Lightly, he circles the hardened flesh and she gasps, "Harder." He immediately complies, pressing down more firmly. "Oh!" she calls out and her heels dig into the bed.

She grasps at the sheets and whimpers. He strokes along her, and she starts to keen his name. His name sounds so right when her voice is rough with lust. She holds his rapt gaze intensely and a light sheen of sweat covers her face, little curls clinging to her skin.

Then she's pulling at his shoulders. "Please. I need … I need …"

"Anything, I'll give you anything," he promises raggedly.

"You, inside me, please."

"You're … you're sure?"

"Yes, please, I'm going to lose my mind!"

He slowly moves over her, tentative and shy. He wants her, oh Force, he wants her. But … what if he hurts her? What if she doesn't orgasm? What if he's just … bad?

She doesn't seem plagued by such thoughts as she again wraps her legs around his waist and impatiently tugs him towards her. Now his cock is nestled right against her heat.

His eyes fly wide as he feels her for the first time. He groans as his length slides along her folds. She's positively dripping and he doesn't really think as he starts to thrust against her. She's so hot and slick. He's not sure how being inside her could possibly be better than this.

Yes, oh yes, this is sublime! He can't think, it feels too good. He keeps pushing against her but then she shifts her hips and all of the sudden he's pushing into her. He almost plunges in in one swift thrust but manages to catch himself. She's having none of it and, using her legs, she pulls him to her until he's deep inside.

He's trembling, everything catching up with him. He's making love to Rey. His everything. After all he's done, to her, to the galaxy, somehow she's still giving him this singular gift.

It's too much, he doesn't have room in his heart, his soul for the magnitude of what she means to him, what she's giving him and tears spring to his eyes.

His voice cracks as he gasps out, "I love you, so much."

Rey's face is so open and she reaches up, ghosting her fingers along his cheek. "I know, Ben, I know."

He turns his face into her hand and presses a desperate kiss along her palm, not sure if she can know. Then his eyes roll back in his head as she moved her hips, his rigid length pulling along her velvet perfection.

He looks back into her eyes and finds such warmth there. She again moves against him and he gets the hint, finally joining her.

Slowly, gently, he thrusts into her, never breaking the tether of their locked gaze.

Rey's eyes are huge and she breathes out, "Oh …"

She feels too good. He'd known it would be special but he can't quite comprehend that this is really happening.

He's almost clinging to her as they move together, finding that age-old rhythm. Each time he buries himself in her he moans, unimaginable pleasure sparking along his entire body. He hopes it feels as wonderful for her.

"Harder, ung, harder," she demands and he's eager to give her whatever she commands. Yes, oh Force, yes. He never wants to leave this perfect place.

Faster. More. More, more, more. He captures her lips and kisses her, his tongue mimicking his cock as both plunge into her over and over again. He pulls her as close as he can, needing as much of her as he can touch.

Bright, hot ecstasy gathers in his core and Maker, he's so in love with her. He feels like his chest will burst with his utter devotion as the delicious tension grows.

He's close, he's so close. He's been close since he first felt her tight around him. He needs her eyes and gentles his kisses, pulling back slightly so he may see her.

"Rey, I … I'm going to … oh, Force, tell me what you need, please, oh Maker I can't hold on!" he babbles, not even sure what he's asking. He just knows that he's begun the inevitable climb and nothing can stop it.

She's grinding herself along the base of his cock and he grows even harder, his orgasm on the precipice. There's nothing he can do now, he's gone. His release crashes through him as blinding bliss takes him over. With one final thrust he shouts out, "Rey!" as he pumps her full of his pleasure.

He's left shuddering in her arms, the intensity bringing back his tears and he doesn't understand. He's overwhelmed and gasping for breath, he's never felt so much and he's foundering.

But she holds him close and murmurs in his ear, "Shhh … I've got you, I've got you."

He chokes out a sob and he's so confused. What's happening to him? "I love you, Rey, I love you." It's the only thing he knows right now.

Eventually, the shaking subsides and she's stroking his back. He keeps his face buried at her neck, humiliated by his display. He knows she didn't orgasm and he can't look at her.

"Ben?" she prods.

He shakes his head, unable to bring himself to see the disappointment he knows must be in her eyes.

"It's alright, it's alright, love," she croons.

He finally finds his voice. "I'm sorry."

"What? Why?" Her genuine confusion pulls him from his addled state and he finally looks at her again. He's still deep inside her, her legs holding him fast.

"I … don't know what happened to me … and you didn't …" he trails off, wanting to hide his face once more.

"Ben, listen to me," she says as she takes his face in her hands. "Thank you."

Why is she thanking him? He's painfully aware that he didn't give her anything. "I don't understand," he says slowly.

"I've never seen you so unguarded, so open. You … feeling you like this, sharing this with you … it was beautiful. You feel so good, I don't care about who did or didn't. I've never felt so loved."

"You are, so very much. But … I hate that you're left wanting." He's softened inside her, but he can still feel little quivers of her walls and he wonders if it hurts her the way it hurts him when he's denied release.

And just like that his determination returns. There's no reason they have to be done yet. He pulls from her gently and lies next to her. "In fact … I think that's something that needs to be addressed right now," he growls as he kisses her deeply, his fingers questing along her center.

He finds her still hot and needy as he plunges two fingers into her perfect passage. He likes to think he's a quick learner and he finds that spot she'd liked so much. Then he takes his thumb and swirls it along the apex of her pleasure.

"Oh, stars," she groans against his lips. Pulling back slightly, her eyes find his and she grins. "Force, I love you."

He quickens his pace and grins back. "Thank the Maker for that."

A/N: Thank you for reading! Come say hi on tumblr, I'm perrydowning over there.