INT. - BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)
BECKY is sitting on her bed, typing something on her laptop. SASHA is sitting on the floor in front of Becky's bed.
BECKY: (dramatically raising a finger and pressing a key on the laptop) Aaaand send.
After a few moments of silence, her laptop makes a soft ding.
BECKY: (smiling at the laptop) Your trade request was been denied. (Her smile quickly fades) Did you just deny my trade, Sasha?
*Laugh Track*
SASHA: Yeeeeep
*Laugh Track*
BECKY: What was wrong with it?
SASHA: You offered Tom Brady for Sebastian Janikowski.
BECKY: So? Janikowski had a great game last week; Didn't he run for, like, a hundred yards?
*Laugh Track*
SASHA: (sighs) Janikowski is a kicker, Becky.
*Laugh Track*
BECKY: Oh.
SASHA: (laughs and shakes her head)
BECKY: I meant to send you Mike McCarthy.
SASHA: (gives a "are you kidding me" look towards the camera)
*Laugh Track*
SASHA: When's your roommate supposed to get here?
BECKY: Between three and four.
SASHA: What do you know about this Alex guy?
BECKY: I know his name is Alex.
SASHA: (gives another "are you kidding me" look towards the camera)
*Laugh Track*
SASHA: (stands up and places her hands on her hips) You're gonna let a guy, you know nothing about, move in with you?
BECKY: (nodding her head) Yeah.
*Laugh Track*
SASHA: (sits beside BECKY) What happens if Alex turns out to be a serial killer?
BECKY: That's why I invited you over.
SASHA: So I can protect you from a possible serial killer?
BECKY: No, so I can push you down and hopefully distract him.
*Laugh Track*
SASHA: Thanks, babe.
BECKY: (chuckles) You're welcome. (leans over and kisses SASHA)
*Ooh Track*
There's a loud knocking on the front door.
BECKY: Oh, that might be Alex.
SASHA: Better get my running shoes on.
*Laugh Track*
INT. - BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)
BECKY rushes over to the door and flings it open. SAMI enters the living room.
SAMI: Hey.
*Cheer Track*
BECKY: You're not Alex.
SAMI: (furrows brow in confusion and shakes his head) No, I'm Sami.
*Laugh Track*
SASHA: (sitting on the couch) She's waiting for her new roommate: Some guy named Alex.
SAMI: (sits on couch) How'd you meet Alex?
BECKY: (sits on couch next to SASHA) Craigslist.
SAMI: What's he like?
BECKY: His name is Alex.
SAMI raises an eyebrow in question.
SAMI: What else?
BECKY: That's it.
SAMI: What if he turns out to be a serial killer?
SASHA: Thank you!
*Laugh Track*
BECKY: Why'd you stop by, Sami?
SAMI: Just wanted to say hey to my friends.
SASHA: Dana out of town?
SAMI: For a week.
*Laugh Track*
SAMI: And I am lonely as hell.
*Laugh Track*
There is another loud knock at the door.
BECKY: (walking towards the door) That might be Alex.
SASHA: (leaning towards SAMI, whispering) Get ready to run.
*Laugh Track*
BECKY opens the door; ALEXA steps into the living room.
ALEXA: You must be Becky.
BECKY: Uh... Alex?
ALEXA: Actually, it's Alexa.
BECKY tilts her head and gives ALEXA a once over.
BECKY: How old are you?
*Laugh Track*
ALEXA: Twenty-five?
SAMI: You say that like you're unsure.
*Laugh Track*
BECKY: I thought you were gonna be a guy.
ALEXA: Nope. I'm a girl.
BECKY: Ok, that's fine. (gesturing at SASHA and SAMI) That's my friend, Sami, and my girlfriend, Sasha.
ALEXA walks across the living towards SASHA and SAMI.
ALEXA: (hugging SAMI) Nice to meet you, Sasha.
*Laugh Track*
SASHA: I'm Sasha.
ALEXA: (laughing nervously) Sorry, brain fart.
SAMI: I have a beard.
*Laugh Track*
[OPENING CREDITS SEQUENCE]
WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas
CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan
*30 second Oreo commercial*
*15 second Gieco commercial*
*15 second Six Flags commercial*
*30 second Pepsi commercial*
*15 second Taco Bell commercial*
*15 second McDonald's commercial*
INT. - CHARLOTTE AND AJ'S HOUSE (LIVING ROOM)
AJ and KEVIN are seated on the couch, watching tv.
CHARLOTTE: (storms into living room wrapped in a towel) Babe!
AJ and KEVIN: Yeah?
AJ gives KEVIN a confused look.
*Laugh Track*
CHARLOTTE: Not you, Kev, why would I be talking to you?
KEVIN: A boy can dream, Char.
*Laugh Track*
CHARLOTTE: I just found this (she holds up a purple bra) in the laundry hamper.
AJ: It's not mine.
*Laugh Track*
CHARLOTTE: Then whose is it?
AJ looks at KEVIN.
KEVIN: (shaking his head) It's not mine, I don't wear purple.
*Laugh Track*
CHARLOTTE: I'm serious, AJ, I want to know whose this is, now!
AJ: I dunno, maybe Becky or Sasha left it over here when they went swimming.
CHARLOTTE: This isn't a joke, AJ.
KEVIN: I think it's pretty funny.
*Laugh Track*
CHARLOTTE: Shut up, Kevin.
The telephone starts ringing.
CHARLOTTE: (answering the phone) Hello?
BECKY: (through the phone) Hey, did I happen to leave a purple bra at your place?
*Laugh Track*
CHARLOTTE: Yeah, I think I found it.
*Laugh Track*
CHARLOTTE hangs up the phone and returns to the living room.
AJ: (smirking) So, who was that?
*Laugh Track*
CHARLOTTE: I'm sorry I overreacted. (she kisses AJ on the cheek) I'm gonna go get changed.
CHARLOTTE leaves the room.
AJ: (turning towards KEVIN) Don't get married.
KEVIN: Wasn't gonna.
*Laugh Track*
INT. - BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)
BECKY and ALEXA are standing in the living room.
BECKY: Rents due at the end of the month, and that's about it.
ALEXA: Where does Sasha sleep?
BECKY: She has her own apartment across the hall. But, she usually sleeps with me when she stays over.
ALEXA: Am I allowed to bring guys over?
BECKY: Yeah, of course. You have a boyfriend?
ALEXA: No.
BECKY: Then why'd you ask?
ALEXA: I sometimes meet a guy when I'm out with my friends.
*Laugh Track*
BECKY: Of course you do.
*Laugh Track*
KEVIN walks through the front door.
KEVIN: Hey, Becky, I'm here to meet that Alex guy.
BECKY: Sure, just barge into my home like an animal.
*Laugh Track*
KEVIN: (noticing ALEXA) Well, hello there.
ALEXA: (giggles) Hi.
KEVIN: I don't believe I've had the pleasure, Miss?
ALEXA: Bliss. Alexa Bliss.
KEVIN: (taking ALEXA's hand) Miss Bliss. (he kisses the back of ALEXA's hand and smiles)
BECKY watches on in shock.
*Laugh Track*
ALEXA: Becky, which one's my room again?
*Laugh Track*
BECKY: (stepping between KEVIN and ALEXA) No, no, no, no. (turning towards KEVIN) You are not sleeping with my roommate on her first day here.
KEVIN: Roommate? I thought you said it was a guy named Alex?
SASHA: (from BECKY's room) I thought she'd be a serial killer.
*Laugh Track*
ALEXA: Wow, crazy first day. I'm gonna go unpack my stuff.
KEVIN: Need any help?
BECKY slaps KEVIN on the back of his head.
*Laugh Track*
KEVIN: Ow!
*Laugh Track*
ALEXA: I'll be fine. (walks into her room and shuts the door)
BECKY: If you come onto her again-
KEVIN: You'll castrate me, I know.
*Laugh Track*
KEVIN: That's what you told me about Sasha... And Sami.
*Laugh Track*
BECKY: It worked didn't it?
KEVIN: I never hit on Sami!
BECKY: (pats KEVIN on the back) You keep telling yourself that.
SAMI enters the living room.
SAMI: Hey, I'm back.
KEVIN: Sami, did I ever hit on you?
SAMI: (turning back towards the door) And I'm leaving.
*Laugh Track*
BECKY: Don't worry, you were drunk. Heck, I've hit on Sami before.
SASHA: (from Becky's room) What?
BECKY: Nothing!
*Laugh Track*
*Two minute preview of upcoming movie "The House We Built"*
INT. - BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)
ALEXA is sitting on the couch, eating a bag of potato chips. Around her are empty chip bags and empty soda cans.
*Laugh Track*
ALEXA: (brushing crumbs off her Brown's jersey) Becky?
INT. - BECKY'S APARTMENT (BECKY'S ROOM)
BECKY and SASHA are making out on BECKY's bed.
*Ooh track*
ALEXA: (from living room) Becky!
BECKY: (groans and stops kissing SASHA) What?
ALEXA: Can you come here?
BECKY: Why?
ALEXA: (from the living room) I need help!
BECKY: (gets off the bed) I'll be right back.
SASHA: (with her back to the camera, lifts her shirt up) Hurry back.
*Ooh track*
BECKY: (eyes go wide, nods her head quickly) Ok.
*Laugh Track*
INT. - BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)
BECKY enters the room and gasps at the mess around the apartment.
ALEXA: (jumps up and punches the air) Hell yeah, touchdown!
BECKY: What the heck happened?
ALEXA: (talking to BECKY but keeps her eyes on the tv) Hey, glad you're here. I need more Mountain Drop and Bepis.
*Laugh Track*
BECKY: Why can't you get it yourself?
ALEXA: It's the middle of a game. (a whistle blows on the tv) Oh come on, he barely hit him!
*Laugh Track*
BECKY: So this is what you meant by "devoted Brown's fan."
*Laugh Track*
ALEXA: (sits on couch) Freakin' commercials.
BECKY: Maybe you could pick up a little before the games back on?
ALEXA: After the game, dude. Just let me watch this.
*Stereotypical "Trouble is brewing" music*
BECKY: Listen here, Alexa.
ALEXA gives BECKY a confused look.
BECKY: I am not going to live with a roommate who's a pig.
ALEXA: Uh, I'll pick everything up when I'm done. Chill out, man.
BECKY: You little-
SASHA: (from BECKY's room) Becky!
BECKY: (takes a deep breath) I'm gonna go back in my room and make out with my girlfriend-
ALEXA: Could you not rub your gayness in my face?
*Sad Ooh Track*
BECKY: (visibly upset) Ok, I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that-
ALEXA: Cool, the game's back on, so shh.
BECKY: (groans in frustration and walks back to her room)
INT. - AJ AND CHARLOTTE'S HOUSE (BACKYARD)
AJ is in his swimsuit, laying in a lounge chair. KEVIN is floating on an inflatable tube in the pool.
CHARLOTTE: (walks out onto the patio in her swimming gown with a tray of hamburgers) You hungry?
KEVIN: Yes.
*Laugh Track*
CHARLOTTE: I meant AJ.
AJ: Yeah, I could eat.
CHARLOTTE: Come and get a hamburger. (unties swimming gown)
AJ: (walks over to CHARLOTTE and kisses her) Thanks, baby.
CHARLOTTE: (takes off her gown)
KEVIN: (notices CHARLOTTE and falls off his tube)
*Laugh Track*
KEVIN: I know what I want for Christmas.
*Laugh Track*
*1 minute NFL commercial*
*15 second State Farm commercial*
*30 second Xbox commercial*
*15 second Bud Light commercial*
INT. - BECKY'S APARTMENT (LIVING ROOM)
BECKY and SASHA walk into the living room.
BECKY: I just think it's not gonna work out with Alexa.
SASHA: Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
BECKY: (noticing the now clean living room) Wait a second.
SASHA: I thought you said she trashed the place.
BECKY: Me too.
ALEXA enters the living room.
ALEXA: So the Browns lost, again. And I like to clean when I'm sad.
BECKY: The living room is spotless, Alexa.
ALEXA: Yeah. I vacuumed, cleaned the coffee table, vacuumed out the couch, and did the dishes.
BECKY: (smiling) Thank you so much.
ALEXA: It was the least I could do; I'm sorry for being a jerk before. (she sighs) And it's never ok to say homophobic things.
SASHA: What now?
*Laugh Track*
BECKY: It's fine. As long as the hurtful comments stop.
ALEXA: No problem.
BECKY: And you ease up on being a jerk.
ALEXA: Done deal.
BECKY: And you stop leaving garbage everywhere.
ALEXA: We'll see.
*Laugh Track*
BECKY laughs and hugs ALEXA.
[END CREDIT SEQUENCE]
WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY: Chris R. Jackson and Joseph Thomas
CREATED BY: ThatWrestlingFan