Author's Note: Hey, everyone! To those who have me as a followed/favorited author and are coming in from one of my other stories, please forgive me. I know I suck at updating and then flitting off to another story like some demented hummingbird, but I can't really help myself. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm a shitty writer with a shitty work ethic.

Now that that's out of the way, let me take a moment to introduce this story. After the Bleach saga ended, I was left feeling pretty angry. The Thousand Year Blood War arc turned out to be... underwhelming I suppose is the best way to put it. I love Tite Kubo for bringing us such a wonderful story and characters, but god-freakin' damn it, I know he could have executed his final arc much more masterfully than the debacle that was the TYBW. And that epilogue, with Babies Ever After and everything. I get that Kubo's not good with romance (I can totally relate to that), but Orihime? Really? You had a perfectly good childhood friend right there!

Ahem, regardless of all that, I was left unsatisfied with the status quo and decided that Ichigo should not end up in a relationship that resulted in *shudder* Kurosaki Kazui. That kid scares me. Like, legitimately. I think it's the eyes. Either way, I seem to have a tendency to cross Ichigo over into a number of other stories. I like Ichigo. He's the kind of person I strive to be: a good brother, selfless when he needs to be, selfless when he can be, and doesn't take shit from anybody. Sadly, I'm only two of those things.

So I thought, What haven't I put Ichigo through yet? And then I remembered that RWBY's fifth season is coming out soon and I was like, Hell to the mother-fuckin' YES! I feel like Ichigo and RWBY go very well together, not the least of which because Ichigo's name follows the color-scheme convention that the creators came up with. Ichigo, of course, meaning Strawberry ("It's First Guardian, asshole!"), and Kurosaki meaning Black Penninsula. After that initial brainwave, the ideas flowed. So this will be Ichigo post-Bloodwar, but pre-epilogue tossed into RWBY about right at the beginning. I could have just put that and be done with it, but I'm feeling share-y right now, so there you go. I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own either Bleach or RWBY. They were made by folks much more intelligent and creative than I am, and I hope you support the official releases.

Warnings: The usual stuff on my end, swearing, bloody gore, etc.

Chapter 1: Takin' Care of Business

"Kurosaki, there's a job up at Beacon Academy, if you're willing to make the trip."

Ichigo glanced up from his book and leveled a shrewd look at his boss. The man was in his late forties and already completely bald on his crown, with the rest pulled into a graying bun at the back of his head reminiscent of a samurai's topknot. Pinned beneath Ichigo's severe gaze, his forehead began to weep with perspiration despite having upwards of two decades on the former substitute shinigami.

"Why aren't you giving it to someone with more experience?" Ichigo shot back. "Or someone who knows the place? If the school's sending us jobs, then there must be at least one or two people more familiar with it than me."

"Ah, well you see..." the boss chuckled uneasily as he scratched the tip of his bulbous nose, a nervous tick Ichigo had noticed about the man as soon as they'd met. "Not many of our employees want to risk going up to Beacon, even with the hazard pay bonus."

"Hazard pay?" Ichigo repeated, unsure if he'd heard properly. "What the hell kind of school warrants hazard pay for outsourced handymen?"

"It's a Hunter Academy," his employer informed him, and Ichigo hummed in partial understanding. He'd only just started learning about the ins and outs of this world, but nearly everything somehow made its way back to the warriors who kept the Grimm threat at bay. "The kids there get a bit... rowdy, and when Hunters-in-training get rowdy, things start exploding." Boss dabbed at his forehead with a handkerchief, then shrugged helplessly. "It's part of the reason Beacon doesn't have any non-teaching staff, since just working there is a danger. Forgive me for asking a foolish question, I'll just inform them to look for someone else."

"Nah, I'll do it," Ichigo waved him off, standing up from the seat he had appropriated during his brief stint as a day-laborer working for the Alternative Staffing hiring agency. "What's the job?"

"Ah..." Boss looked down at the sheet of paper clutched in his hand. "Nothing too major, just a few light fixture replacements in one of the larger training facilities, some leaky showerheads in the first-floor men's lockers, several masonry jobs in the courtyard, and a bit of landscaping around the grounds. You should be done before six."

Ichigo nodded, stretching his back as he snatched the paper up and skimmed it. "Everything provided, ask for Glynda Goodwitch, yadda-yadda. Alright, I'm off."

"Be careful, Kurosaki!" Boss called back, sounding genuinely concerned for Ichigo. The bright-haired young man raised a hand in farewell, resolving to actually learn the man's name; it had been nearly three weeks since they'd met, after all.

By his reckoning, he'd been in this world of Remnant for about a month after he'd made the monumentally stupid decision to assist Geta-Boushi with one of his experiments. The Quincy threat had been dealt with, and the Gotei Thirteen were slowly but surely recovering from the massive losses inflicted upon them. Yuzu and Karin were just starting high school, and Ichigo had been considering taking Shunsui up on that offer of joining the Guard as the Fifth Division's captain after Shinji finally decided that captaincy just wasn't the same after a hundred-odd years of basically being a lazy bum.

It was about the most he could have asked for after the hectic, dangerous, utterly insane ride that characterized his teen years. He could be forgiven for letting his guard down for just a moment. Of course, it seemed the universe had been waiting for that exact lapse in his defense to judo-flip him for another loop.

It might have been a miscalculation on Urahara's part, or perhaps a bug had flown into the hardware and gummed up the works. The most likely contributing factor to the shit-storm, though, was the sake Yoruichi had accidentally dropped on the console (why she had even tried to drink straight from the bottle while still in her cat form was beyond him). Whatever it was, instead of transporting Ichigo directly from the Human World to Rukongai without having to travel through the Dangai or a Garganta, he had instead found himself in a mega-city called Vale, on a planet known as Remnant whose sole natural satellite looked like it had gotten into a fight with Kenpachi Zaraki and lost. Oh, and also humanity and the faunus (bonafide animal people!) had been at war with soulless Hollow look-a-likes for as long as anyone could remember; couldn't forget that little tidbit.

He'd spent the first hour or so simply cursing his shitty luck and Urahara in equal measure—throwing in the Spirit King's name because there was no way that fucker didn't have anything to do with his predicament—before drawing upon Zangetsu's inner calm (well, one part of Zangetsu, at any rate) to center himself and start moving forward.

Ichigo's inital foray into trying to make a life for himself in this new world had ended with mixed results. After realizing that any job he might have applied for required proper identification, he'd tried procuring the proper papers only to be labeled an illegal immigrant who had somehow gotten past the border guard (apparently through nefarious means). It had taken a day in a holding cell and some quick thinking to get him out of that jam, but he'd eventually been cleared and offered legal documentation with which he could find some gainful employment (the one good thing about the creatures of Grimm was that they made for excellent scapegoats when coming up with a false background).

However, he'd spent much of the time a normal teenager would have spent getting proper work experience purifying monsters and stopping hostile takeovers of the Afterlife instead. The only job he was really qualified for (besides curbstomping anyone unfortunate enough to have gotten on his bad side) was cheap physical labor. Ichigo also possessed a wide variety of skills that made him a decent general handyman (due mostly to maintaining the Kurosaki household while his father kept up his role as breadwinner), bolstered by his time working for Ikumi, so at least he had that going for him. He supposed he could try to find work as an orderly, a role he'd filled at the clinic whenever necessary, but Goat-Face had always said that his bed-side manner was positively atrocious (evidently, telling his father that a patient was in dire need of a rectal-cranial extraction in front of the patient was considered a faux-pas).

Incredibly (and he was honestly pretty suspicious about how improbable it was), Ichigo had almost literally stumbled across the owner of Alternative Staffing halfway through a mugging. As a reward for beating back the would-be robbers the grateful man had offered Ichigo a place to live in the tiny, run-down apartment above the workplace and gave him relatively high-paying jobs consistently. It didn't quite go over well with the other regulars, but Ichigo's trusty scowl kept the worst of the backlash away (and a swift kick in the ass took care of the rest).

Thus, Ichigo had fallen into a routine wherein he would wake up, head down to the office with one of the several history books he'd bought second-hand from the nearby Tukson's Book Trade, and wait for the Boss to hand him a job. It was far from ideal, but he had a place to sleep, a more or less steady income, and a way to gather information. He sure as hell wasn't going to keep at it in this vein forever, but he had learned from his mistakes. Ichigo wasn't about to go running headlong into a potentially dangerous situation with no knowledge of what he was getting himself into, at least not for a fourth time.

But he'd spent nearly two months in a state of semi-boredom held off only by the constant surprises this world had to offer, and he figured it was about time he jumped back into things. Where better to do so than at the training grounds for the protectors of this world?

Ichigo grabbed a jacket, making sure his essentials were safely in his pockets, and headed for the nearest airbus terminal. It still amazed him even now how much more advanced this world's technology was compared to his own. The transport and communications were amazing enough, but the first time he'd seen a Hunter's weapon mecha-shift had very nearly caused his jaw to drop at the sheer intricacy and elegance of the design (the white bastard had been snippy for a few days afterward, and the old man more taciturn, but both spirits admitted later that it was pretty incredible).

When he arrived at the school's station, he stepped off the ship and took a moment to absorb the sight of Beacon Academy with its sweeping spires and the majestic tower that soared proudly over Vale like a silent sentinel. Sure, it wasn't as grandiose as the Soul King's palace, or the thoroughly massive affairs of Seireitei and Las Noches, but it had its own unique charm that made Ichigo pause for longer than he'd meant to.

"Ichigo Kurosaki?" a stern voice rang out, and he lowered his eyes to the woman who had called his name. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a bun with a handful curled and left to hang down the right side of her face, while sharp green eyes appraised him from behind a pair of thin glasses. In her hand was a tablet device he'd learned was called a tome, and tucked into her right boot was what looked like some sort of collapsed weapon.

"That's me," he affirmed with a short nod. "Are you Glynda Goodwitch?"

"I am," she replied, gesturing for him to follow her. "I assume you received the bare bones of what your duties today will entail?"

"Swap the lights in the big gym, change the showerheads in the boy's lockers, and fix an assortment of holes on the grounds," he rattled off quickly with a nod.

"Indeed," Goodwitch spared him an approving glance. "Normally I would be the one to handle such matters, but Headmaster Ozpin has seen fit to delegate some of his paperwork to myself and a few of the other teachers here." She hid it well, but the tightening around her eyes told Ichigo that she wasn't too pleased with her boss at the moment. Honestly, he was somewhat reminded of Nanao whenever Shunsui did something exasperating (which was troublingly often for a Captain-Commander). She filled him in on the specifications of his work as they walked, and showed him where the various problems were located, as well as the supplies he would need.

After leading him to the training wing where he would start his first portion of the job, Goodwitch pushed her spectacles up her nose as she inspected him critically. "I hope your employer informed you about the hazardous nature of this particular assignment."

"Yeah, something about Hunters-in-training having a tendency to blow shit up on a regular basis," Ichigo agreed.

"Crudely put," she said dryly, "but true nonetheless. The students here bear no malicious intentions toward you, don't misinterpret that. They are, however, a fairly rambunctious lot, and the fact that we have no permanent custodians, groundskeepers, and other similar positions is a testament to the peril they represent. Do not underestimate the danger you have placed yourself in, Mr. Kurosaki."

"I've been through worse," Ichigo reassured, lips twitching wryly at the sheer understatement of his words. "I'll be fine."

Goodwitch peered at him for longer than he was strictly comfortable with before nodding once. "Very well, I hope your self-confidence will not be your undoing. The insurance premiums are through the roof as it is..."

Muttering to herself about the budget Goodwitch strode off, heels clicking sharply against the floors. Ichigo sighed, then hefted the box of light fixtures he'd brought from the storage room and entered the training area.

Inside was a massive gymnasium with a high ceiling and lots of obviously cutting-edge training equipment, including various work-out machines, several dozen sparring circles where some students were wailing on each other, and even a walled-off zone where a young woman with a bright red ponytail was demolishing robots by the scores. A quick look around alerted Ichigo to a catwalk that ran just under the ceiling where the lights were easily reachable, and quickly scaled the access ladder one-handed while he wrestled with the unwieldly box of Dust rods.

Once he was up there, it was a simple matter to unscrew the depleted rods and replace them with new ones. He even checked the others and swapped out the mostly empty ones as well.

As he made his way back to the ladder, though, instincts honed through countless battles alerted him to danger, and he moved to the right just in time to avoid a fiery slug from below. Ichigo himself was fine, but he'd forgotten to calculate the effects of his dodge on the huge, awkward box full of Shine Dust. It seemed as though the container fell in slow-motion, right above where the red-haired girl was tearing through training bots like tissue paper.

Now, Ichigo wasn't an expert on Dust by any means (even the term 'neophyte' was stretching things), but he knew that Dust generally went boom when mishandled. Being dropped from a few dozen feet up certainly seemed like mishandling to Ichigo, and he didn't want to give Alternative Staffing a bad rep for blowing up Huntresses-in-training.

So he pooled reiryoku into his legs and leapt over the catwalk's railing, snatching Dust rods out of the air as they fell with the speed and precision of a striking cobra. He vaguely heard a couple voices shout out, but ignored them in favor of making sure he didn't land on his face. After grabbing all of the hazardous material, Ichigo flipped himself around and touched down lightly next to the girl who apparently had a grudge against robots.

The girl let out a surprised noise, and her weapon swung around as it shifted from a triangular sword to a long spear. Ichigo ducked under the first sweep and backpedaled quickly to avoid the follow-up stab until he was out of her immediate range before raising an eyebrow at her.

When she realized what it was she'd taken a couple swipes at, the spear lowered and a gloved hand rose to her mouth while her green eyes widened in horror. "I'm sorry!" she gasped. "I thought you were another training dummy."

"It's fine," Ichigo grunted, snatching the cardboard box as it fell into reach. He dumped the Shine Dust back in the container, then looked up to the ceiling. "Do the lights look okay to you?"

"Uh..." She followed his gaze and her face morphed into an expression of disbelief as she put the pieces together. "They seem fine to me," she answered. "Did... did you just fall from the catwalk?"

"I jumped," Ichigo corrected her. "Someone took a shot at me and I dropped the Dust when I dodged. It was gonna fall on you, and I didn't want a write-up, so..." he mimed doing a swan-dive and shrugged.

The girl glanced at the box of Dust, then back at Ichigo. "Then I suppose I should thank you as well," she said, smiling slightly. "I'm Pyrrha."

He was about to give his name when he was interrupted. "Hey, are you alright?" Ichigo turned to the new arrival and was halfway through bobbing his head when he froze. Jogging to a halt in front of him was a girl who looked like she could be Matsumoto's younger sister, except with lighter blonde hair and purple eyes. Beside her was a girl with hair a darker shade of orange than his own and blue eyes that seemed to pop out of her face.

"Fine," he managed through his strangled windpipe. "Just a little tumble."

"Yeah, that was kinda my bad," the Rangiku look-a-like said with an uneasy grin, pulling her long mane over her shoulder. "Me and Nora got a bit too enthusiastic in the sparring ring and one of my rounds went a little wide."

Ichigo's eyes went from the cluster of circles on the far side of the gym to the catwalk he'd been on before finally coming to rest on the blonde girl. "Sure," he drawled sarcastically, "a little wide. It's fine," he added when the girl's lips quirked into a frown. "No harm, no foul. Just be more careful next time; I can see why this job offers hazard pay now."

"Wait, you're a civvie?" the girl named Nora asked curiously. "How'd you survive that fall, then? It was pretty awesome, by the way, when you were grabbing the lights out of the air and then dodged Pyrrha's attacks like they were nothing!"

"For a certain definition of the word, I suppose I am a civilian," Ichigo acknowledged. "And it's nothing special. I bet things like that get taught here on day one."

"Still, sorry for almost making you blow your load on P-Money here," Blondie said with a teasing grin that made her resemblance to the tenth's lieutenant even more pronounced. "I'm Yang, by the way."

"Ichigo," he replied shortly, channeling Toshiro (It's Hitsugaya-taicho, grumbled his inner monologue) to ignore the double entendre and the blushing redhead beside him.

"Nora!" exclaimed the ginger, popping up uncomfortably close to him.

"Right," he said, unflinching. It would take a lot more than that to faze him after all the shit he'd been through. Hell, Orihime's random bouts of silliness and Keigo's particular brand of insanity were more than enough to innoculate him against this girl's spastic nature easily, nevermind his batshit father. "Look, I've still got a few things left to fix, and I don't wanna keep you from your training."

"Oh, um, bye then!" Pyrrha stammered. "And thank you again!"

"Good luck!" Nora exclaimed with a bright grin that reminded him oddly of Mashiro.

"Don't be a stranger!" Yang crooned after him.

With a quick wave, Ichigo high-tailed it out of the gymnasium, hoping to get the shower heads changed before he was used as a target dummy again. After a quick stop back at the supply room, Ichigo made his way to the largest of the first-floor bathrooms.

Pyrrha Nikos felt an odd shiver of trepidation when she noticed the way Yang Xiao Long was eyeing the maintenance man's retreating back (rather, the lower portion of his back). It was embarrassing enough to have taken a swing at a civilian, let alone one who had jumped nearly twenty meters down to stop a bunch of Dust from hitting her. Whatever the devious blonde had in mind could only spell disaster, if the toothy grin was anything to go by. Granted, Pyrrha had known Yang for less than a month, but the kick-boxer wasn't exactly that difficult to read.

"Nora," Yang said, clenching her fist in front of her dramatically. "We're gonna go follow that guy."

"Why?" Nora asked. Pyrrha almost laughed at how naïve her friend could be before almost choking on it when the orange-haired girl continued. "Is he a leprechaun? Will we get gold if we catch him?" Her eyes sparkled. "Imagine all the pancakes I could buy!"

"I don't think that's the case," Pyrrha tried to correct her, but once an idea got into Nora's head, the only way to get it out was to let it run its course. Which, unfortunately for the rest of Team JNPR, usually ended with massive explosions and significant property damage.

True to form, Nora disregarded her and charged out of the gymnasium, hot on Yang's heels. Pyrrha sighed—resolving to ease up on nagging Ren about what she had at first perceived as his laziness if he'd had to chase after that his whole life—and hurried to follow her friends in an effort to run some damage control.

The redheaded Mistrali caught up to the other two girls just as Yang slammed a terrified and confused Sky Lark up against a wall.

"H-he went in there!" Sky squeaked, pointing to a door a few feet down the hall.

"You sure about that?" Yang asked sweetly while Nora loomed in the background with a crazed gleam in her eye as she fondled Magnhild sinisterly.

"I'm sure!" the poor boy cringed. "I swear on my manhood!"

"Swearing on something that doesn't exist isn't exactly reassuring," the blonde girl smirked, but released her hold on Sky's blazer. He didn't hesitate to run away as fast as possible once he'd been relinquished, but Yang had already turned her attention to the door he'd indicated. Pyrrha, however, grasped her bicep and held her back.

"That's the men's showers," she pointed out. Yang blinked and read the plaque on the wall next to the door, then shrugged and pushed in anyway.

"Nothing I haven't seen before," Yang declared brazenly. Nora was next in with not a care in the world, and Pyrrha—about as uncomfortable as it was possible to be—trailed after them hesitantly.

Pyrrha wasn't sure what she expected out of a boys' locker room, but for it to basically be a carbon copy of its female counterpart was probably what she should have. The only differences were the urinals off to the side of the commode stalls and the blue tiles where red ones were placed in the girls' showers.

Oh, and of course her half-naked partner and team leader. That was certainly not a staple in the women's changing rooms.

"Hey there, Lady Killer," Yang called. Jaune, wearing only a pale blue towel with a white bunny rabbit she recognized as the Pumpkin Pete mascot sewn into it, leapt at least three feet into the air and spun around, nearly losing the towel in the process (much to her private disappointment). Panicking, Pyrrha tried to hide behind Nora, which wasn't the best idea since the grenadier was quite a bit shorter than her.

"Y-Yang!" Jaune yelped, crossing his arms over his chest in what would have been quite a hilarious reaction in any other given situation. "Nora! What are you doing in the guys' showers?"

The redhead almost sighed in relief at apparently being overlooked by her lovably oblivious partner. "Don't forget Pyrrha, too!" Of course, she should have known that Nora would point her out, as unhelpfully helpful as she was.

Feeling her face heat up, Pyrrha waved meekly as she peeked out from behind her only female teammate. "Hello again," she mumbled.

Jaune stood there looking at them blankly for a while, and Pyrrha wondered what he was thinking before he shook his head and rid himself of the momentary shock. "So, to reiterate my question," he began slowly. "What are you doing in here?"

"We're hunting a leprechaun!" Nora explained as if it was obvious.

Jaune blinked several times in confusion. "But then... where are your leprechaun nets?" he asked. "If you're hunting leprechauns, you need nets; haven't you ever seen those cereal commercials?"

Nora, astoundingly, slapped herself on the forehead with an open palm. "Of course," she exclaimed. "How could I have been so stupid!?" And without further ado, Nora took off out the door, calling back that she would return presently with appropriately sized nets.

Turning back to Yang and Pyrrha, Jaune smiled a little. "So why are you really here?"

Yang's eyebrows rose as she processed that. "Pretty slick, there," she complimented, and her accompanying friendly punch to the shoulder staggered him slightly.

"Thanks," Jaune bit out, rubbing his arm. "Our team-building exercises are really starting to come in handy."

"Anyway, to answer your question," Yang said, "we're looking for a guy with light orange hair and a scowl that'd make Goodwitch proud. He's piqued my interest."

"Poor guy," Jaune muttered, smiling nervously when Yang raised her fist again, this time threateningly. "It was a joke, Yang, a joke!"

"I'm the joker in the group, Vomit Boy," she warned. "Stick to your niche and we'll be golden."

"Oh, because we're both blondes," he nodded in understanding. "That's a good one."

"I wasn't making a pun, but okay," she shrugged. "I'll take what I can get."

Jaune frowned, turning to Pyrrha. "Um, so would I regret if I asked what this guy did to make Yang so... uh, interested?"

"I think it's more the fact that he didn't do anything," Pyrrha guessed, turning to Yang. "Right?"

"Right," the buxom girl agreed, slinging an arm around Pyrrha. "See, we're getting along just fine if you can read me like that, P-Money."

"Joy," Pyrrha cheered unenthusiastically. Nora was bad enough... if Yang started on like this, then she would need to join forces with both Ren and Blake in order to put them in check.

"I'm still confused," Jaune announced, raising his hand.

"Well, beyond not caring about Yang almost shooting him off the catwalk in the big gym," Pyrrha said, sending an accusing look at the girl in question who had the grace to grin sheepishly, "he maintained eye contact with her for their entire conversation."

"Even Weiss-cream's got a hard time keeping it above the neckline," Yang added helpfully. "Though that might be out of envy rather than any real interest."

"Well, when you've got them on display like that..." Pyrrha muttered.

"Pot and kettle, Pyrrha," Yang sing-songed with a pointed look at the cleavage her armor revealed. "Pot and kettle."

Jaune went red with embarrassment at the turn this conversation had gone. Before he could respond in any way (which was probably a good thing, Pyrrha thought, since he'd have likely just said something that would earn him a beating from Yang), Ichigo himself strode out of the shower room, holding a bag of tools and several old-looking showerheads.

He stopped short upon seeing them, his frown deepening. Pyrrha wondered idly what he was so angry about for that to be on his face so often. Instead of telling them off as he probably should have, Ichigo turned to Jaune, jerking his chin back toward the showers.

"It's all fixed up in there," he said to the younger man. "I'd suggest waiting until they're out of the lockers before you take off that towel, though. Girls can be just as perverted as guys when the mood strikes them."

"I've got a mood striking me right now," Yang piped up, shooting Ichigo a very suggestive look.

Pyrrha thought she might have seen his eye twitch, but he recovered quickly. "I appreciate the enthusiasm," Ichigo said uncomfortably, "but I'm on the job, and I'm pretty sure fraternizing with one of the students would get me fired."

"Aw, c'mon," Yang purred, sidling up within his personal space. "I could use a nice strong handyman to take a look at my plumbing." Pyrrha was aghast (and just a tiny bit envious) at how forward the blonde was being, and she was even more impressed with how steadfast Ichigo's willpower was to not be swayed even slightly at Yang's shameless attempts at seducing him.

"Listen, Yang was it? I'm flattered that someone as beautiful as you has taken an interest, but there's a time and a place and this is definitely neither," he said, voice gentle but firm in its resolve. "Now, if you'll excuse me I've still got some holes to fill."

Pyrrha blinked when Yang didn't even attempt to twist his last statement into a bit of innuendo and glanced over to find the brawler wearing a thunderstruck expression as her lavender gaze followed him out. Jaune opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a bewildered squeaking noise. Pyrrha turned to see what he was looking at just in time to watch an enormous butterfly net descend upon Ichigo right as he was framed in the doorway.

"Ha! I've got you now, you sneaky little munchkin!" Nora's voice echoed in the locker room.

For a moment, there was silence while they all attempted to absorb the situation. Ichigo turned his head slightly, his scowl gaining an oddly curious tilt. "What are you doing?" he asked, sounding more confused than angry.

"I'm after your lucky charms!" Nora replied succintly, stepping into view. One hand was clutching the net's handle while the other was pumping triumphantly. "Now hand over the gold!"

"...you realize I'm not a leprechaun, right?" His voice was surprisingly even for someone who'd just been assaulted with a giant net.

"That's just what a leprechaun would say," Nora argued. "How can I be sure that you won't run to the Council of Leprechauns as soon as I take free you and report back to them?"

"Leprechauns don't have a council—" Ichigo began, but was cut off instantly.

"Ah-HAH!" the short ginger girl pointed accusingly at him. "How would you know leprechauns don't have a council unless you were one?"

Jaune blinked rapidly, muttering, "That's surprisingly sound logic."

"Don't encourage her," Pyrrha started to nudge him as she whispered, then realized he was still only clad in a towel and drew away while her face heated up again. To hide it, she quickly stepped out of the room and grabbed hold of Nora's arm. "Please stop bothering the handyman while he's trying to work."

"But... but..." her teammate whined petulantly, "what about all the pancakes?"

Ichigo slowly removed the net and offered it back to Nora. "Look, if I was a leprechaun, I'd have a pot of gold, right?" he asked, and she nodded slowly. "So if I had a pot of gold, why the hell would I be working temp jobs?"

The pout on Nora's face slowly morphed into a considering look. "You've got a point," she relented, then smiled ruefully up at him. "Sorry I thought you were a leprechaun. I don't know what I was thinking; you're pretty tall, actually."

"It's fine," Ichigo replied. His scowl softened a bit and the corners of his lips twitched upward a bit, giving him a slightly wistful expression. "Just don't make a habit of it. Not everyone is as understanding as I am."

"Okey-dokey," Nora snapped to attention. "See you later!" And with that, she skipped away down the hall as if nothing untoward had ever even occurred.

There was a moment of silence as they all watched her leave with various levels of bewilderment. Then, Ichigo hefted his supplies and headed in the opposite direction. "Well, duty calls," he said, waving over his shoulder without looking back. "Later."

Pyrrha glanced at Yang, who was staring after him with a complicated expression and bumped shoulders with the blonde. "You alright?"

"Y-yeah," Yang replied, offering her a weak smile. "That's sort of the first time that's happened to me, though. I don't really know what to do."

"Just shake it off and pick yourself up again," Jaune said in a sage-like tone. "It's what I always do, and trust me: I'm an expert at rejection." He chuckled self-deprecatingly. "Heck, that's about the nicest way to let someone down I've ever seen."

Yang's smile became more natural as he spoke, and at the end her bright grin was back in full force. "That's actually pretty awesome advice, Jaune, thanks," she said, patting him on the back.

"No problem," Jaune waved off her gratitude good-naturedly. "It's what friends are for, after all." He blinked a few times, then looked down as if only then remembering he was clad in a towel and nothing more. "A-anyway, if you'll excuse me..."

With that, Pyrrha's leader bolted back into the locker rooms, leaving Yang snickering after him. "That guy's something else," she smirked.

"Yeah, he sure is," Pyrrha sighed longingly, then slapped her cheeks to rid herself of some very inappropriate thoughts and started walking in the direction Nora had taken, hoping Yang hadn't noticed.

Once Ichigo had finished replacing a few bricks in the courtyard that had either been cracked or come loose and filled in a plethora of divots across the grounds where students had gotten a little too enthusiastic, he reported back to Goodwitch. Oddly enough, she had informed him that the headmaster wished to speak with him before he left, and with nothing better to do, Ichigo complied.

After a brief, silent elevator ride up to to the top of the clock-tower, Ichigo was treated to quite the sight. Massive gears turned both above and below the office, which had a commanding view on all sides through floor-to-ceiling windows. A row of shelves contained both books and strange little knicknacks that drew the attention, and behind a clear desk sat the headmaster of Beacon.

With dissheveled gray hair and brown eyes hiding behind a pair of glasses, he really didn't seem all that important, but Ichigo had learned never to judge a book by its cover (especially after watching Yachiru hand Yumichika and Ikkaku their asses on a plate at the same time).

He appeared to be reading something off a transparent square that was emanating from the desk a bit like a computer monitor, but when the elevator door closed behind him and Goodwitch, Ozpin's eyes locked on his. There was strength behind that gaze, Ichigo noticed immediately, and something ancient and weary that reminded him of the old Soutaichou and a little of Geta-Boushi as well. It instantly put him on edge; men like them were always scheming and plotting, even if they weren't necessarily the 'bad-guys'.

"Ah, yes," Ozpin said, rising from his chair and offering a hand once they were close enough. The former substitute shinigami took it with a nod. "Ichigo Kurosaki, correct?"

"Yeah, and you're Ozpin, though I still dunno whether that's your given name or family name," Ichigo acknowledged, and a tiny little smile appeared on the older man's face.

"I like to keep people guessing," was the enigmatic reply. "Please, have a seat." As Ichigo did just that, Goodwitch moved to stand at her employer's side. "I would like to ask you something, and you may feel free to decline answering." He tapped at the desk a few times, and the screen swung around so it was facing him. "Can you tell me what happened here?"

Ichigo watched the screen and found it was a recording of the incident in the gym. He grimaced at how sloppy he had gotten in the past month. "Nothing major," he shrugged, his mastery of understatement presenting itself well.

"You call falling from such a height and being attacked by one of our top students 'nothing major'? I see," hummed the headmaster.

"I didn't fall," Ichigo bristled at the implied slight to his sense of balance. "One of the students let off a wild shot and when I dodged the Dust fell. For one thing, I figure that stuff's expensive and I didn't want that to come out of my already shitty paychecks. Also, the rods were about to fall on another student and, as it was my fault she was in danger, I decided to rectify that mistake. Pyrrha's reflexes kicked in before her mind registered what she was attacking."

"Ah, that certainly explains things, then," Ozpin nodded in understanding, entering more commands into his desktop. The video changed to him talking with Pyrrha, Nora, and Yang. "What was said here?"

"Yang, was apologizing to me," he explained. "She's the one whose bullet I avoided."

"And you do not bear a grudge against them for their actions?" Goodwitch inquired, her face stoic.

Ichigo's frown deepened at the question. "What's the point in that?" he riposted, waving a hand dismissively. "They didn't do it on purpose, and nothing bad came of it, so I don't see why I should."

"Even if you are a civilian who might have been seriously injured should they have landed a hit?" Ozpin pressed.

"Look, your stupid questions are irritating me more than that whole debacle did earlier," Ichigo snapped. "Even if they struck a blow, I've been through way worse shit from people trying their hardest to kill me. I know when someone comes at me with lethal intent, and neither of them did."

He watched in annoyed confusion as the two traded a glance before Ozpin smiled. "Mr. Kurosaki, I understand that you are employed by a hiring agency?" He nodded warily. "After seeing the quality of your work and your overall demeanor, I would like to extend to you an offer to work for me here at Beacon."

Ichigo's face forgot to scowl for a moment as he blinked owlishly. "Uh... what?"

"As you are no doubt aware, Beacon has quite a deficiency in janitorial and maintenance staff due to the inherent dangers of working in a Hunter Academy." Ozpin strode over to one of the windows, hands linking behind his back as he stared down at his school. "Those with the skills necessary are often too frightened of the ever-present chance of serious injury, while those who might be able to withstand such occurrences would rather move on to more lucrative careers. To find someone with both the expertise and the proper mindset is vanishingly rare and I had hoped to snatch you up before one of the other schools catches wind of you."

As he felt his frown slide back into place, Ichigo considered it. Working at Alternate Staffing had been a means to an end, and though he would be sorry to leave the boss high and dry, this was a damn good opportunity. At the same time, he knew he shouldn't seem too eager to accept.

"What's the pay like?" he asked.

"Fifty lien per hour," Goodwitch answered, glasses flashing (to Ichigo, she looked almost hopeful), "though you will be expected to perform a great many tasks around the school. This will include basic maintenance and upkeep, some light janitorial duties, and most of the inevitable repair work that comes from rambunctious students, though I will handle the more... extensive damages with my Semblance. You will also receive room and board should you wish it."

Ichigo forcefully made sure his eyes didn't bug out at the salary. Most of the jobs he did paid out a scant twelve lien an hour, and most of them weren't more than four hours long. The offer of free food and a place to stay were just the last nails in the coffin of his time as a day-laborer.

He nodded decisively, standing up. "You got yourself a custodian. I'll need a day to set things in order and move some stuff here, but that's it."

Ozpin smiled in acceptance. "I shall have the paperwork drawn up immediately. Glynda, please—" Ozpin broke off as he turned toward his second-in-command, brows knitting in concern. "Glynda, are you quite alright?"

The woman in question was staring out the window, her shoulders shaking lightly. "I'm... I'm fine," she assured in a slightly tremulous voice. "Just a little something in my eye."

"I... see," Ozpin muttered, his raised eyebrow signifying that he clearly did not see. "Very well, then, Mr. Kurosaki. I shall expect you here at seven tomorrow afternoon so you can sign the contract and move into your new place of residence."

Ichigo smirked, offered a little salute and entered the elevator. The first stage of his life in Remnant was over; tomorrow, a new adventure awaited.

After-Action Report: And that's a wrap. Funnily enough, I knocked this out in about an hour after I got the initial idea for it while I was trying my damndest to eke out a second chapter for Strawberry Ambitions. I have several dozen scenes written already for that one, but piecing them together and making a cohesive storyline is like trying to squeeze water out of a fuckin' rock.

So, as with most crossovers involving Bleach, it's all Urahara's fault. But it's also Ichigo's for trusting the self-proclaimed mad scientist with a new invention in the first place. Right now, Ichigo's about nineteen years old and done with high school. He didn't go to college because he decided to take over for Yuzu when her workload at school became too much to handle on top of taking care of the Kurosaki household. Things have more or less become stable in Soul Society, besides Shinji whining about how much he hates paperwork and wanting to quit, so there's nothing really major going on anymore on the Bleach side of things.

As far as the RWBY-verse goes, it's about a month into the school year, and everyone's still getting used to everyone else. Pyrrha's feelings for Jaune have finally solidified from a curious infatuation to an outright crush at this point, and they and Renora are finally starting to get a feel for one another. RWBY is still in that murky territory between Weiss and Ruby's tentative alliance and Blake finally coming out of the kennel (sorry, bad joke), but we all know how much a Type-A person Yang is, so she's been slowly whittling away at everyone's shells with shotgun slugs and brute force.

And then there's the idea that started it all. Ichigo as the Almighty Janitor, almost literally thanks to his status as one of the most powerful Death Gods to have ever walked the planes. Yes, Ichigo does have all his powers (give or take a few that I'm on the fence about, because fuck final Bankai Zangetsu. The shikai is fuckin' rad as fuck, but damn it, KUBO!), and can pretty much one-shot anything in the RWBY-verse on sight. But he's also still in his human body. The prototype that Kisuke was working on was meant to do the same thing that his gate in the Soul Society arc does by converting physical matter into spiritual matter, and shit went sideways.

I'm not going to have Ichigo get his Aura unlocked because that would be ridiculous. I see it this way: Ichigo can access a respectable portion of his reiryoku as a human. We've seen the Visored manifest their zanpakuto and Shinigami perform kido while in Gigai (and Rukia did it while in that faulty one Urahara gave her at that!) so he'll still be kicking ass and taking names like the boss he is. And if things get really crazy, he's still got his badge with him.

Also, yeah, Beacon doesn't have a support staff because, well, Hunters make things explode on a daily basis. It's not their fault, it's just natural. But at the same time, civvies ain't gonna wanna work there for all the hazard pay in the world. It's why we see Glynda on repair jobs all the time. So Ichigo catches a lucky break on that front, and the story begins.

So there you have it. Thanks for reading, I appreciate you all, and have a great day!