When Kakashi opened the door to Tsunade's office and saw the lineup for the briefing, he knew that this was The Mission. It had been coming for some time, if the Godaime's subtle reshuffling of responsibilities and not-so-subtle invitations to visit the Hokage's private tailor were any indication. That, along with her sudden refusal to assign him anything more than B-class tracking missions, as though he were somehow suddenly too important to let loose in the field for anything more than exercise, set the wheels spinning in his analytical mind. She hadn't even had the decency to ask outright.

He huffed through his mask, one eye closed in a habit he just couldn't break, and stepped up to where the rest of Team Kakashi waited in front of the Hokage's desk. Tsunade arched a blonde eyebrow at his tardiness, while he couldn't keep the other eye from sliding closed in what amounted to a smile as Naruto and Sakura chorused:

"You're late!"

"I see you've decided to grace us with your presence, Hatake," Tsunade said mirthlessly, and he didn't need to be a mind reader to know she was daring him to find ways to be late when he was sitting on her side of the desk.

"What happened this time?" Asked Sai from his position to Kakashi's left - and gods, was that Sasuke? Tsunade really had pulled out all the stops - where he stood next to Tenzou. A six-man cell was unusual for anything less than a search and destroy operation, and to pull together such a large contingent of the village's top shinobi was bordering on the irresponsible. Of course, that only confirmed his suspicions that this was it. His final foray into the fray before Tsunade passed on the Will of Fire - and all its accompanying paperwork - and his face was carved into the Hokage monument alongside his teacher's.

"Kakashi-senpai?" Sai prompted, the only one of them who still enjoyed hearing his excuses. He'd once remarked to Tenzou when he thought the silver haired jounin was out of earshot that Kakashi's never-ending tall tales made great sketching material.

"Hn?" The older ninja replied, levelling his dark gaze at the ANBU agent, who looked as though he was ready to reach for the sketchbook at any moment. Too bad his imagination wasn't feeling too active. "Oh, well…" Kakashi glanced to his right, where Naruto and Sakura wore matching expressions of practiced indifference. "I just wanted to keep my favourite team mates waiting."

Naruto was getting better at not reacting to his nonsense, so all that happened was that the young blonde's nose twitched perceptibly while he met Kakashi's gaze, before sliding his blue eyes back to the front. Still, there was a hint of a grin around his features. They'd been on two missions recently where Kakashi had actually been on time from sheer boredom, so this was about as much of a reaction as he'd been expecting.

Sai frowned. "But…"

"...you didn't know we'd be on your team," Sakura finished for the artist, who nodded in agreement. Kakashi turned towards the medic, not missing the slowly emerging smirk on Sasuke's normally blank countenance as he faced away from the younger man. Since he'd been released from the reintegration unit some three years ago, the Uchiha remained almost as emotionless as Sai could be; except for when his original teammates bantered and bickered with one another. And as a good team leader, wasn't it imperative that Kakashi make sure the team dynamic was as amiable as it could be?

"But Sakura-chan, you're always on my team," he said to her in his best imitation of the kunoichi's infamous pout. He watched as her eyes flickered to him first, then Sasuke, then back to the front with an impressive lack of a grin. She knew what he was about, but wouldn't give in in front of her shishou.

He wasn't lying; Kakashi and Sakura were paired up together regularly, something else which he suspected had been leading up to The Mission. Like himself, Sakura was considered something approaching indispensable to the village. And also like himself, she was prone to acting out if the days between fieldwork stretched too long. Tsunade had really outdone herself with their continuous partnership of the last six months - keep her apprentice out of trouble while making sure her successor didn't stray too far from the missive. It wasn't much of a secret that the only people who had any hope of reigning Kakashi in were currently standing in the office.

"Are you quite finished?" The Hokage interrupted, fingers beginning to drum dangerously against the hardwood of her desk. Kakashi wondered if she'd take it with her when she left. Sakura snapped to attention with a hastily murmured "of course, shishou" before gracing him with a narrowing of her bright green eyes. That was something that hadn't changed about the kunoichi even as she approached her 23rd year: her utter devotion to Tsunade, and her utter inability to avoid living up to her reputation as a teacher's pet. An endless source of amusement to the silver haired jounin and to a lesser extent, the rest of her team, Kakashi let it slide today on account of the way Tsunade was attempting to see through him with the intensity of her glare.

Sighing, the put-upon Hokage began to outline the particulars of the mission to the waiting shinobi. Part infiltration attempt and part scouting expedition, they were to travel undercover to a remote outpost on the border of Fire and Wind, where one of the daimyo's retainers who oversaw his rich date and vine crops was suspected of siphoning off a significant portion of, if not the profits, the produce itself. It was a delicate matter and not one suited to the daimyo's own contingent of samurai; turning out in a show of force would only anger the retainer if he was innocent, and would certainly rile some of the wilder Wind country lordlings due to the estate's proximity to the border. Although they generally didn't interfere in one another's affairs, the daimyo had sent his head of household to personally request that Konoha look into the situation with explicit promises of S-rank payment and an offer to assist with the next stage in the village's expansion project.

While the latter offer would be tacitly rejected - Kakashi knew as well as the next high-ranking ninja that the Hidden Villages saw to their own construction with fierce secrecy - it did open the doors for Tsunade to extract an equally valuable favour from the head of state. Plus, if their cover was blown, the daimyo could reasonably protest innocence and throw up his hands at the oft-mysterious workings of the ninja within his borders.

Kakashi was impressed; it looked like The Mission was actually an expedition up to his calibre, and if he didn't know better may even suspect Tsunade of orchestrating the situation herself. While the slug princess wasn't as shrewd an operator as her predecessor the Third, her years of gambling had given her a deft touch when it came to matters of negotiation and persuasion.

The team managed to listen to the main outline in silence, but barely a second had passed before Naruto blurted out, "so what's the cover?" He was getting better at following orders, at staying quiet and most importantly at behaving himself, but Kakashi supposed some parts of a personality were just too deeply ingrained to surpass. It didn't help that everyone else in the room - except Tenzou and himself - looked equally interested in the answer. It was likely up to them to sort it out amongst themselves, though Kakashi wasn't particularly relishing another mission where he had to pretend the younger ninja were related to him in some way. He'd nearly blown their cover a few times when his siblings were mistaken for his children and his winces were too noticeable to ignore. Silver hair wasn't just the province of the elderly, a fact which he would adamantly maintain through hurried hand movements and a general display of his "youthfulness" that would make Gai amused. Those moments always made him feel aged beyond his years, in a grumpy sort of fashion, and Kakashi would rather not spend his last field expedition for gods know how long in a bad mood.

"For this mission," Tsunade continued as though the blonde ninja hadn't interrupted, "you'll be posing as a group of travelling performers. We've got intel from the daimyo and a few of his contacts that Lord Ichidate is a connoisseur of the performing arts, and it's likely that this position will gain you access to his person faster than any alternatives, as well as allowing for the easiest extraction once you've resolved the issues the daimyo has raised. I've put together some suggestions on your composition, but I'll leave the particulars to sort out amongst yourselves."

She held out a neatly wrapped scroll towards Kakashi, who noted that it bore the neat handwriting of Shizune rather than Tsunade's own doctor's scrawl. Of course she wouldn't have compiled something like this herself, not when her assistant had the (un)fortunate position of being counted on to know as much as possible about her workforce. Smoothly ignoring the four pairs of curious eyes that followed the scroll's movement, he tucked it inside his flak jacket and wondered what insights it held about him.

"Of course," Tsunade continued, "you'll have to be careful with displaying any skills that could easily be associated with the shinobi discipline. That means," she pointed a finger at Naruto, "no shadow clones, and," here she motioned to Sasuke, to everyone's surprise, "no sword dancing." As both young men gave her their signature dirty looks, the Hokage blithely ignored them and noted that Tenzou's particular brand of jutsu was so exceedingly rare that she deemed it safe for him to incorporate into his performance skills.

"Now," the Hokage clapped her hands together in the decisive manner that had started a thousand missions, "I want you to leave at first light, so go and get your things together. The shops in the civilian market may have the equipment you need if you can't find it within the headquarters."

Naruto was still eyeing Sasuke while even Tenzou and Sai looked intrigued at the Hokage's chiding - sword dancing, really? - but Kakashi noticed the way Sakura ignored the revelation at the same time as Tsunade held up a hand for him to stay, forcing him to stop as the others filed from the room. Pausing with her hand on the door, Sakura raised pink eyebrows at Kakashi, seeing him still standing in front of the Hokage's desk with his hands jammed firmly in his pockets and his feet pointed to the window. He knew she knew it was his I-want-to-escape-but-can't pose, and she just scrunched up her nose at him in what she considered her professional smile and he considered her least cheeky one, saying, "I'll make sure we head for the teahouse," before sliding her hand from the door and closing it smoothly behind her.

As the door narrowed to a sliver, Kakashi noticed Naruto placing their pink haired teammate very deliberately on his left hand side while he slapped a palm onto Sasuke's shoulder, effectively keeping himself between the two young ninja.

"I see that partnership's been working out for you both," Tsunade observed at her apprentice's easy communication with him, lacing her fingers together underneath her chin while she motioned with her head for him to take a seat. Kakashi never sat down in the Hokage's office and he wasn't going to start until they absolutely forced him to, so he settled for slouching even further until one hip was level with the older ninja's desk.

"I guess…" he replied noncommittally, still thinking about what he'd just witnessed, before heaving a sigh at Tsunade's rapidly angering gaze and clarifying, "Yes, it is nice to work with someone who understands you."

"Sakura's in a perfect position to be a Hokage's advisor..." the older ninja said suggestively, "although she's very much in demand in the hospital, of course." When Kakashi didn't give her much of a reaction Tsunade left off her teasing and became serious. "Now, I'm sure you understand what this is, right?"

This being the briefing still laid out on her desk, the daimyo's personal seal a rough reminder that even his last mission wasn't going to be an easy one.

"I do," he replied quietly. "After all, I was with Minato-sensei on his 'Mission'." Hands pulled into quotes for emphasis, Kakashi lifted his dark eyes to meet her hazel ones. "Though I'd much prefer a twenty year gambling stint, you know."

Tsunade huffed out a laugh, opening a drawer and deftly procuring a bottle of her finest sake, placing two cups down on one of the few empty spots on the desk. If Shizune hadn't confiscated it then that meant the Hokage's loyal assistant knew what was up, which likely meant that Genma knew, which meant that unless he paid his jounin friends a visit very very soon then the whole village would know of his imminent forcing into the limelight.

She emptied her first cup as quickly as Kakashi could say kanpai, refilling his until he had to hold a wary hand over it.

"It's a nice tradition," Tsunade continued. "It's one I intend to keep, because there's not much else about being Hokage that could be considered fun, you know? One big last mission with everyone you work best with, fantastic pay for you and your team, a dash of what you're good at - but no assassinations if you can help it, please - and the ability to pass up the mission report because you're busy being pampered and primped for your inauguration. I've even given you an extra week of leeway to stop in at one of Fire's best kept secrets on the way home." She pointed a slim finger towards the scroll in his flak jacket. "Shizune should have put the details in there, so make sure you don't let the rest of them mess the scroll up too much, because it's your invitation."

Kakashi stared at her, uncharacteristically surprised. He thought back to the Fourth's last mission before his inauguration - the hiding in ditches, the weeks spent cursing the weather and the Third and the enemies who evaded them at every turn - and couldn't help but think the world had changed in the almost thirty years in between. It would have made him feel old, if he wasn't looking into his leader's deeply wise eyes in her suspiciously ageless face. And he suspected that Naruto's Mission, when the time came to pass on the reins, might be as simple as a trip to hunt down the ingredients for his favourite restaurant's favourite dish.

"Thank you, Hokage-sama," he said, downing the sake through his mask. And even if he didn't want the job, didn't want what it meant for his more casual relationships and his changeless days of fighting and relaxing, he meant this thanks. There had been a time when he thought his last mission would end up with his lifeblood seeping into a ditch, and a death of his freedom was preferable to the final death of a shinobi.

Tsunade just smiled in that predatory way she'd perfected at the gambling tables. "Just don't go dying on me, Kakashi. I've no desire to start training up another successor."

He heard her snickering even as he beat a hasty retreat.

It seemed Sakura had in fact successfully steered the team away from Ichiraku, because as Kakashi approached the teahouse he could hear her laughing in that way she reserved for Naruto, occupying a tone between loving and exasperated and with a healthy dose of indulgence for good measure. It sounded a little brashly loud for the kunoichi, but that was likely something to do with whatever had been bothering the pair at the meeting.

Pausing behind the hedge as he fixed the fit of his gloves - he'd taken them off during his silencing mission to Genma - Kakashi listened to them bantering back and forth for a moment, wondering, while he lifted the scroll from his pocket and reread the contents.

Genma had promised not to tell a soul about what has happening on the condition that he receive a sneak preview of the team's potential performing skills as compiled by Shizune, and they'd spent an enjoyable twenty minutes (post threat of course) imagining the elite ninja currently in the teahouse occupying their individual roles. They hadn't been surprised to discover that Sai's contribution to the cover was going to be largely artistic in nature, nor that Shizune considered Naruto's history as an energetic prankster the perfect asset to weave into a role as a hybrid tumbler / jester. Somewhat more surprising was her thoughts that Sasuke might perform well as a dancer and the hastily scribbled notes alluding to Tenzou's potential as an illusionist. There was a number of crossed out thoughts under Kakashi's own name - he had to suppress Genma's laugh at the suggestion of him as an animal tamer - but what piqued his curiosity was the lack of input as to Sakura's contribution to the operation.

Shizune knew her best out of them all, so for her to leave the space blank wasn't a suggestion that Sakura had no skills to contribute, simply that she knew what the younger kunoichi would choose. Taking a moment to appreciate the lull in conversation that could only mean the arrival of the waitress with their food, the jounin dropped the jutsu masking his presence and moved with an echo of his sensei's speed to the unoccupied cushion at the head of the table.

"You're late," chorused his two former students in an echo of their earlier exclamation, but this time Sakura was already passing a heaped plate of food his way before the smoke had cleared from his entrance. They were in the Maple room of the teahouse, his favourite for two reasons: because it was the easiest to escape from if briefings got too boring, and because the red reliefs of the room's namesake lent the meetings a cosy air. Sakura, of course, must have guessed there was a reason he always asked for this room when they visited and had chosen it herself without knowing why, proving to the older shinobi again that their ability to predict the other's needs was becoming uncanny. Now if only he could read minds - an ability he didn't always covet from the Yamanaka clan but would be fiendishly helpful in the subtly tense situation he'd just teleported into.

"Tsunade kept me," he offered by way of explanation, accepting the plate with a grateful squeeze of his uncovered eyes.

"Kept you at the sake, it seems", sniffed Sasuke pointedly, his chin on his hand in a way that suggested he was beginning to lose patience with the situation. It was just enough like his twelve year old self to make Kakashi smile again, more genuinely this time; after a few years of being confronted with an eerily emotionless teammate these breakthroughs were to be stored up like jewels, treasured moments of familiarity to be held onto when the Uchiha's moods swung towards the darker end.

"I don't know what you mean," Kakashi answered Sasuke with his very best team leader voice, turning his attention to the tea set that occupied the centre of the table. Once again, he had barely reached for it when a cup of the steaming hot beverage appeared in front of his hands, held out by a Sakura who had barely paused in her playful arguing with Naruto over the virtues of green tea versus instant coffee. She wasn't looking in his direction, but the grip she had on the cup was bordering on calamitous, if the white of her knuckles was any indication.

Did she know? Kakashi couldn't think of another reason for her sudden solicitousness. Sakura was never cruel but she wasn't always overly kind either, reserving her coddling behaviour for their worst moments in the hospital or those rare days when she clung to one or another of her team and said barely two words, displaying her care for them in actions and gestures. She was chatting animatedly if nervously enough which ruled out the latter, and he wasn't in need of the hospital although the heavy weight sitting on his chest almost begged to differ. Well, if she wasn't going to spell it out then neither would he; that particular uncomfortable talk about the end of their regular mission pairing was going to have to wait.

Sighing, the jounin waited until everyone was engaged before wolfing down the food in a few bites, content to let the voices of his closest team mates wash over him in the red haze of the tea room.

Sakura barely noticed when Kakashi puffed into existence across the table from her; her hands had been automatically gathering his favourite foods onto a plate since the waitress had emerged from behind the curtain, and when he appeared she simply completed the action by passing him the plate and continuing her easy (she hoped) conversation with Naruto.

Was it just her, or was the tension in the room almost visible? She personally felt the atmosphere was becoming so palpable that it hurt to open her mouth to speak, and by the way Naruto's voice was getting steadily louder and louder she knew he felt it too. What were they even talking about? Tea, coffee? At the thought she began to mechanically pour her team leader a drink, made just the way he liked it: a habit borne from years of giving in to his pleading looks as she made tea just so nicely, Sakura-chan. She was almost physically grateful for Sai and Tenzou's presence in the room, even though they were currently occupied in a discussion about the merits of plant-based inks and where to procure them. More people could only dilute the situation, could only help her to get through this meal until she and Naruto could get a moment to debrief.

If Sasuke's eyes bored into the back of her head any longer she was sure she was going to start screaming out loud.

Naruto must have felt her reaching breaking point - or perhaps he was too - because he abruptly broke off their conversation to practically yell into the comfortable quiet of the teahouse that it was high time Kakashi shared the contents of the scroll with the group. With a raised eyebrow that indicated he had some thoughts about Naruto yelling at him like that, Kakashi reached into the pocket of his jacket and unfurled the piece of paper unhurriedly.

He'd never admit it but Sakura knew he had a flare for the dramatic (something which leached into his elaborate excuses for his tardiness as much as his subtle encouragement of his reputation in the shinobi world) but right now she just wanted to wrench the paper from his hands, read it like she was giving an oration, then run at full tilt for her room. And this was the start of a mission spanning almost two months? It was enough to make her want to put her head in her hands.

Kakashi cleared his throat unnecessarily as everyone turned their full attention to him, with even Sasuke's curiosity overwhelming his current need to stare into Sakura's very soul to force him to look at his former teacher.

"As you know," Kakashi began, meeting each of their gazes in turn, "Tsunade-sama has requested we assume roles as a group of travelling performers. Shizune has put some thought into what roles we'd best fit, but I want us to discuss this in depth before we head into the field. Once we're out there, it will be imperative that we adapt to what our positions will ask of us, so there is no point in taking on something you won't feel comfortable doing, 100% of the time."

His professionalism was reassuring to Sakura, cutting through her current anxieties about how she was going to survive the next 8 weeks. While Kakashi may be a lazy layabout with a penchant for poorly-concealed silliness, this vanished as soon as he entered the fray. She'd had plenty of opportunities over the last year in particular to observe his impressive ability to live up to his often exaggerated reputation as one of Konoha's finest, watching as he moved from reading his favourite dirty literature to saving her life and everyone else's in the vicinity with barely a flicker of hesitation. If only she could grab hold of this same attitude, then the upcoming mission might just make its way into her dossier without incident.

"We'll start with the obvious," her team leader continued, focusing his gaze onto Naruto, who had the decency to begin to look outraged at his predictability. "I've seen the way you train, and the way you attempt to sneak away from a prank, and I think you could harness both attitudes well when it comes to the art of tumbling. It's very similar to how you move, but you'll need to be careful not to rely on your chakra if it comes to taking a fall. Sakura-chan," he tilted his head in her direction without looking at her, "can heal you at the end of any performance gone wrong."

Naruto folded both arms together, jamming his hands under his armpits and fixing Kakashi with an almost-scowl. "And how do you know I'll be good at this flailing around?" He asked, a hint of an annoyed huff colouring his words.

"Because I know for a fact that Tsukune from Icha Icha Violence is based on your antics with Jiraiya," Kakashi answered smoothly, ignoring the way the blonde's teeth snapped shut with an audible click. "Yes, even that scene - so I know for a fact you spent a good two years running around impressing the locals with your comedic acrobatics."

"Eh? Y-yes, well, it's, ahh - awh c'mon Sakura-chan, don't fix me that look - I guess I could maybe do it if we need it." The rest of the team watched the young ninja's growing blush while he tried to sink downwards into the floor. Sakura suppressed a smirk; Icha Icha Violence didn't even have a character called Tsukune much less anything like a tumbler, so she guessed Kakashi was basing his assumption on some other knowledge of what Jiraiya had been likely to make a student of his do (maybe it'd been passed onto the Fourth, who'd inflicted it on Kakashi's team), a ploy which Naruto was falling for admirably.

But: she'd rather die than admit to Kakashi that she'd read his precious dirty books, and if she didn't react like they expected her to then that was as good as if she stood on the rooftop and shouted it for the village to hear. So she threw a glare in Naruto's direction while giving him a sharp pinch for good measure, just enough chakra behind it to make him yelp like a wounded animal. Sai laughed at the noise which roused Naruto enough to make him stand up and begin threatening bodily violence to the artist, which caused the perfect level of distraction for her to resume drinking her tea as though nothing had happened.

Naruto didn't even notice when a chakra-wreathed hand tapped lightly on his pinched arm, so used to her quickfire heals as he was, but if Kakashi's amused glance at her ministrations was any indication then Sakura was sure the silver haired jounin thought he knew exactly what she was up to. As long as he didn't piece together that she knew the contents of his books fairly well, then she didn't really care what he assumed she was doing.

"Moving on," Kakashi supplied when Tenzou had managed to shut Sai up and Naruto ran out of steam, "Sai, Shizune mentions your visits to the children's section of the hospital on entertainment day, as well as your recent work in producing inks that can be used directly on skin and manipulated with chakra. How has this been working out for you?"

"Mm, I've not been able to make the manipulation do much more than cause the ink to fade and reappear," Sai explained, deftly ignoring the blonde shinobi who was still shooting him angry looks across the table, "but Shizune-san has been pleased with the progress so far, and states we may even be able to mix the pigments with poisons in the coming months." He blinked. "Do travelling performers usually poison their audience?"

"Nnnno, but I'm sure a few well-painted flowers on faces and tigers on arms will keep them happy, especially if you've managed to work with Tenzou to produce more unusual shades of ink." Kakashi barely paused at Sai's query, testament to how long he'd been fielding off the former Root agent's lingering weirdness. Sakura had perked up with professional interest at his mention of poisons, but soon lapsed into pensive silence as the team discussed around her what they were planning to do to make themselves into a believable outfit.

She missed Sasuke's fervent rejection at the thought of him dancing unless he had a sword in his hand, and the subsequent long argument with Kakashi on why sword dancing was not particularly popular when he intended to kill someone at the end of the dance; she didn't even pause in drinking her tea and furrowing her brows when Tenzou displayed his ever-increasing plethora of flowers he could produce out of thin air. She still didn't react much when Kakashi's firm demand that he was going to take on the role of troupe master sparked another bickering session, punctuated with the arrival of a second course of sweets.

In fact, Sakura didn't like where this was going at all. Enough so to make her forget the awkward feeling in the room, which had blessedly lessened as the boys started to get into their preparations. She knew Shizune wouldn't have listed anything under her name, because her fellow attendant would know exactly what skill Sakura should bring to the table.

It just so happened that that skill was one thing she was more than reluctant to share with her teammates. Thinking back desperately to the long-ago kunoichi training classes she'd muddled her way through, the medic sorted through her memories of lesson after lesson on behaviour, manners, misdirection and technique to see if anything stood out that could save her. She'd barely started remembering how to arrange flowers when Kakashi interrupted her increasingly frantic thoughts, refilling her cup as she'd forgotten at some point to indulge in more of the delicious tea.

"Well, Sakura-chan?" He said expectantly. Oh shit, he's been talking. One thing she knew Kakashi didn't appreciate was being ignored, especially when he was in business-mode, but she had been truly too preoccupied with trying to claw her way out of the hole the Hokage had unexpectedly dropped her in.

"Ah… yes?" She said helplessly, resisting the urge to hit him with one of her please-forgive-me pouts.

"I said, Shizune hasn't offered any suggestions for your role as part of this operation, so I was wondering if you had any ideas on what you could do?"

She breathed out in a rush as all eyes at the table turned towards her. Stalling, she let a pale hand creep forward towards the fresh array of traditional sweets heaped invitingly on the table while looking anywhere but at her friends.

"Um, I could also tumble? Sort of like a double act, with Naruto?" The man in question snorted through his nose, clearly expressing without words what he thought of the acrobatic abilities of a woman whose favourite method of fighting was straight for the vitals.

"No?" Her green eyes flitted towards the next likely target. "Ah, I've learned a lot about flower arranging from Ino, I could…" her hands moved in a weak approximation of a bundle of flowers as she pointed to Tenzou.

"Sakura, we're aiming to be performers, not court attendants," Kakashi chided her, but she could see the amused glint in his eyes. He was enjoying this, or enjoying guessing what she was going to lay claim to, or enjoying any number of mysterious things about her current predicament. "So unfortunately, I think that the last thing the audience would be interested in is seeing you arrange the flowers that have mysteriously appeared from nowhere, instead of claiming them for themselves. Not that," he added kindly, "it wouldn't be lovely."

"Oh, you're right, I guess…" She bit her lip while thinking of the next option. Sai's inky experiments were out as her artistic abilities extended to a steady hand and not much further, and she hadn't heard what Sasuke's plans were but she wasn't going to get involved with that, for the sake of her sanity.

"What did you say you were going to do again, Kakashi?" She queried. He'd likely rib her for admitting to not paying attention - although she doubted much got past him anyway - but she was running out of options fast.

"I'm going to be something of a troupe master," he replied, staring down his cloth-covered nose at her. "But I'll also chime in here and there with music if the situation calls for it."

Ah. She'd forgotten he liked to dabble in playing instruments, though she was surprised to hear that he thought it a strong enough skill to ply as an artist. The only time Sakura had ever heard him play he had heroically strummed his way through a simple piece on the shamisen without much in the way of true skill. No matter that he'd only been playing to mask the sounds of their target choking from the poison she'd slipped in his drink: it had not been anything memorable.

"Maybe I could be the glamorous assistant for the production? See that everyone's comfortable, hand out drinks, hold your instruments?" While the medic hated being relegated to a supporting role on a normal occasion this was better than the alternative.

"Not good enough, I'm afraid." Kakashi was shaking his head. "If we want to make sure we're all allowed into Lord Ichidate's presence we'll have to prove that we can offer him something entertaining. I'm not keen on splitting the group in a situation like this and as he's such a fan of the arts, he'll likely have his own assistants at the ready. Isn't there anything you might be able to do?"

That was it. She'd run out of time. No matter what Sasuke was planning on doing for his performance - and at this point she was highly tempted to ask to save herself the embarrassment - it looked like she was just going to have to admit one of her most closely guarded secrets.

"Fine," she growled, defeat bringing a tinge of anger to her voice. Sensing Naruto perking up in interest out the corner of her eye, she stared her team leader square in the face as she practically barked, "I dance."

There was a split second where Sakura wished the ground would open up and swallow her, even if she had to punch it to do so.

"No, you don't," Naruto immediately said in confusion. "I've seen you in the bar and you move like you're stuck in a Water Prison jutsu."

Sai's hurriedly muffled laughter and Sasuke's rapidly climbing eyebrows, coupled with Tenzou's discreet coughing into his hand that was definitely not a laugh, made the tips of her ears burn as bright as the red screens of the room they sat in.

"No, it's true," Sakura countered, not once lowering her gaze from Kakashi's in a kind of challenge. If anyone was to break down her self-esteem at this moment it would be him, but he remained completely silent, his face closed to her interpretation. "I dance." She repeated the phrase with a finality that sounded better suited to a sentence. "Shizune didn't write anything down in there, right?" She didn't wait for an answer. "It's because she knows I do it. I've been talking to some of the patients in the hospital about incorporating it into their rehabilitation sessions."

At that, she resolutely stuffed a dango into her mouth and swore not to justify it any further. Kakashi still hadn't said anything and she was acutely aware of his gaze fixed on her lowered head when Sasuke spoke the first words he'd said to her since that fateful night last month.

"What kind of dancing?"

This mission was going to be the end of her.

Kakashi realised he'd been staring at Sakura for far too long and hadn't formulated anything beyond a surprised expression at her revelation. In all their recent missions together and extended close history he'd never caught wind of this hobby, but her defensive posture and refusal to meet anyone's gaze marked it out as the truth. And if her rapidly spreading blush was any indication it wasn't just the kind of dancing you'd find in a theatre production.

Either Tsunade didn't know or she knew exactly what she was doing, and it was a testament to the Godaime's craftiness that Kakashi couldn't decide which. Then he promptly felt the wind get knocked out of him as his mind pieced together that time he'd accidentally saw the pink haired young woman almost naked as he stumbled into the wrong tent with the thought of her dancing in a decidedly non-rehab-friendly fashion. And while Sakura was just a friend - just one of his best friends and his top choice for mission pairings and his occasional library partner - Kakashi couldn't help but let the image hover in his imagination for just a second too long before relegating the medic back into the 'strictly sexless' category he reserved for her master and the other too-crazy women of his acquaintance.

Biting back an exasperated sound - sometimes it was entirely inconvenient to have an active imagination - Kakashi clapped his hands together in an unconscious impression of Tsunade while he announced, "well that's that, isn't it?"

If he was lucky, this mission might just kill him yet.

AN: I don't own Naruto.

This came about because I've spent the last few weeks reigniting my Kakasaku passion with some amazing fics, and this idea has been chomping at the bit to get started. What a mammoth first chapter in which nothing much happens...