She lived for the adrenaline rush. She wasn't one of those people who got it from racing or skydiving or riding a roller-coaster. Her rush came from the fact that she new some juicy information no one else did. Maybe it was the teenage girl inside of her calling out, but no one can deny they feel ethereal when they have knowledge other people like her do not possess.

Except, this time she didn't feel that rush. She felt a pit in her stomach inside. Confusion, mystery, and maybe there was even some guilt in there. She couldn't exactly put her finger on the feeling inside her.

She started questioning when she was in middle school. Seeing the lady in red swooping by from lamppost to lamppost on her magic yo-yo excited her like a kid in a candy store. She always saw the male superheroes on TV and thought they were cool, but Ladybug was special. Was it because she was roughly the same age as her and saving the city or was it something else?

She catalogued every akuma attack, went to every press meeting, and bought every bit of Ladybug merch she could. Her room was filled with the signature black and red, but while setting aside a new addition to her doll collection, she realized she didn't own a single thing of Ladybug's clawed partner in fighting crime. He definitely had just as much merch in stores as Ladybug and was popular with the girls on online forums, but she didn't bother to look.

She just went straight to Ladybug.

Straight might not be the best way to put that, she would later think about. In high school, it was common for people to come out as liking the same gender and she supported the ones close to her that did. She was ecstatic when Rose almost strangled Juleka in a hug when the gothic teen asked her out after so many years.

But when Nino asked her on a date that everyone was fully expecting, she froze up. She did like Nino and spent a lot of time with him. Their class thought they were going to end up together sooner or later. Marinette was certainly happy for her friend but she couldn't feel that same energy. She ended up turning Nino down and not feeling the least bit bad about it. Sure, she felt awful for hurting his feelings since they had been friends forever, but she didn't regret what she did and Marinette and their friends were supportive.

It's just that your heart isn't ready yet, Rose would tell her.

What did her heart want?

As she pondered that question while walking home from school one day, the Parisian wonder zipped past her with the black cat following closely behind. The super-heroine turned over her shoulder and shot her a wink before focusing on the course in front of her.

Her pulse sped up and her palms felt clammy even though it was a breezy spring day that warranted her to wear a thicker than average coat and scarf. She couldn't understand why her heart was doing somersaults in her chest, but the heart wants what the heart wants.

She took one last glance at the red ribbons flying around that sapphire blue hair flying towards the Parisian sunset and wondered for a moment if she would ever get a chance to feel those silky strands wrapped around her fingertips.

Author's Note

I've been wanting to write a little Alya femslash thing for a while now but never got around to it. I think it'd be interesting if Alya had some more feelings for Ladybug because of how much she idolizes her and how close her and Marinette are (even if she doesn't know they're the same person) I know it's short, but I really wanted to dive into Alya's feelings rather than writing a story with dialogue and all that jazz. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this ficlet!

Until next time, sayonara~!