Disclaimer: This story is my own, original writing. No one has permission to reprint, reproduce, store in a retrieval system or transmit any part of this work without my express written permission. This work is the property of Poppy Soo. Any references to actual people, places or events are for fictional purposes only and not intended to be factual or defamatory. E. L. James owns everything relating to Fifty Shades of Grey.

A/N: Updated on 1/5/18 with only minor copy edits, no structural changes.

Chapter 1

The young woman stood high above the crowd at the altar, a dream adorned in white lace and layer upon layer of tulle. She peered out over the congregation and took a deep breathe. This would be the last time her friends and family would look upon her as Miss Anastasia Steele. It was the final moment before she merged her life to become part of a whole. She returned her gaze to the man who stood before her. The formal, black tuxedo transformed his normally youthful appearance into an older, more sophisticated version of himself. As she stared into his eyes, she imagined that age would be kind to him well into the decades they would spend together building a good life.

The pastor gave her groom a little prompt, gently reminding him that it was time to say the vows he had written for his beloved. He intently stared deep into Ana, and in return she beamed with affection and pride as tears welled in her eyes. She perceived his hesitation as an endearing reminder of his shy nature. She gave him a knowing, encouraging smile as if she was speaking a silent language that they alone could understand.

He looked down at his shoes, breathed a heavy sigh, and met her gaze squarely before blurting out his speech. "Ana, I can't do this. I cannot marry you. I don't love you enough to spend the rest of my life with you. This was a mistake." He wrung his hands and with every word his feet danced. "I can't do this to you any longer. I have been sleeping with Claire for the last six months. I don't want to marry you."

Ana remained steadfast in her expression, grinning and filled with happiness. His words had not yet penetrated through her euphoric exterior. It wasn't until a collective gasp from the audience shook her from her delusion that she realized her groom was fleeing down the steps. As he ran away from her and down the aisle, Ray Steele tore out of his seat and began chasing him out of the church and through several New York City blocks.

Once out of view, all eyes turned to Claire, the last bridesmaid to Ana's left who had been trying to shrink herself out of the purview of the attendees. She slithered out a side entrance and quickly gathered her things before retreating from the scene. Still in shock, the remainder of the bridal party and the guests all sat motionless as they tried to comprehend the events that had just unfolded before them. The pastor spoke to break the silence.

"Ladies and gentlemen. There will be no wedding because Anastasia Steele is an unlovable woman. That concludes our ceremony today. Thank you."

Everyone vanished, leaving Ana alone standing at the altar with no groom, no family and no friends. She sunk down to the ground and was enveloped by tulle leaving only her head exposed as she sobbed into her hands. She looked to the heavens and cried out to God, "Why?" In response, presents of all shapes and sizes, wrapped in intricate gold, silver and blue papers began to rain down on her covering her body until she could no longer breathe.

In the adjacent bedroom a striking, shapely blonde woman sat astride a handsome man who groaned every time she lowered her pelvis onto his. She was teasing him, with slow, uneven movements leaving him pleading for more. As she eased into a faster, more methodical rhythm, he closed his eyes. She glided up and down to the music that played softly in the background. As she came closer to climax, her breathing and pace quickened. He sensed her impending peak and encouraged her to let loose.

"Yes," she softly moaned in delight.

He abruptly opened his eyes in the middle of her orgasm, and stopped thrusting his pelvis to meet hers. "Did you just say, no?"

Her body grinding up and down at a frenzied pace, she ignored him. "Yes," her volume increased as she became completely engrossed in the sensation. "Yes, yes, yes!"

She continued, not wanting to spoil the delicious moment. He asked again. Not until she was satisfactorily finished did she stop and ask, "Do you not realize what just happened? What could have possibly possessed me to say no?"

"Yeah, I get what just happened," he replied sarcastically. "But I swear I heard someone say, 'no.' You know as a guy in this situation, I take that word pretty seriously."

"Shhh!" She cut him off and listened carefully. "Oh shit!" Faintly over the music, she could hear a panicked voice repeatedly crying out in the night. She swung her leg around to dismount the man and picked up her panties off a pile of disheveled clothes crumbled on the floor.

"What are you doing?" he inquired clearly disappointed that their bodies were no longer entangled.

She wrapped her bare body in a blue, satin robe that she retrieved from a hook on the back of the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Just stay here, I'll be back. It's my roommate."

"Is there an intruder? Do you need me to call 9-1-1?"

"No. But good to know if there's danger you would let me go investigate while you stay back and make a phone call." She shook her head in disbelief.

She walked out of the room and down a short hallway led by the protests that grew louder and more desperate with every step. Opening the door, the hallway light illuminated an agitated woman tossing in bed. Beads of perspiration glistened on her forehead, and her hyperventilation was punctuated by frightened dissents. The two women had been through this exercise too many times to count over the last three years.

She sat down on the side of the bed and brushed the hair, matted with sweat, out of her friend's face. In a delicate, reassuring voice she said, "Ana, it's Kate. Wake up honey. You're dreaming. It's just a bad dream." Kate repeated this as one would repeat a mantra to gently bring Ana out of her nightmare. After a minute or two, she startled from her fitful sleep and wildly opened her eyes. "It's okay, honey. I'm here. It was just a dream." She continued to stroke her friend's head.

Trying to compose herself, Ana breathed deeply in through her nose and out through pursed lips. As her heartrate steadily declined, she recovered herself enough to say, "It was awful. I was crushed by presents."

"I know, but it wasn't real."

"But it was real, Kate. It is real." She sat up and leaned against the padded headboard before hiding her face in her hands. "Do you realize," her muffled voice wavered, "that next week would have been our three-year anniversary?" Tears began to trickle one by one down her cheeks. "It would have been our leather anniversary."

"I know," she said as she took Ana in her arms.

The slow stream morphed into a faucet as Ana indulged herself in the despair. The pair sat in silence. Eventually, a knock at the open door startled them both. Looking up, they found Kate's date standing in the doorway in his boxers. "Is everything okay?" he asked feeling a little out of place. "Is there anything I can do help?"

His gesture was nice, but the mood of the evening had clearly changed. Kate didn't move from the bed, "No, but thank you. It's time for you to go home now." She said unapologetically.

Puzzled, he replied, "It's 2:30 in the morning. I can just wait for you to come back to bed."

"Nope. 2:30 is definitely time to go home." She shrugged her shoulders.

"What?"

"You can just show yourself out. I'll call you later. Thanks for a great night." Kate blew him a kiss, but made no qualms about shutting him down so she could resume attending to her best friend.

As he walked away, both girls heard him say, "I didn't even finish." They looked at one other and even Ana giggled through her tears.

"Sorry to interrupt," Ana apologized.

"It's okay. I finished," she grinned.

Kate put a pot of water on the stove while Ana collected herself in the bathroom. As two cups of chamomile tea steeped, Kate tried to devise the best method to help to her roommate. These nightmares had become increasingly frequent even though it had been almost three years since Ana was left at the altar. She worried almost daily about Ana's health and sanity. Just when she started making real progress, six months earlier she plummeted back into a deeper depression. Although, Ana wouldn't own what was happening. She lived her life in denial and put on a happy façade. She wasn't fooling anyone, especially not Kate, the lone witness to these night terrors.

Ana emerged into the shared kitchen and living room space and sunk down into the corner of the couch. Kate handed her a cup of tea and took her spot in the neighboring chair.

The ruffled brunette took a long sip and held the cup close to her chest. "I would have given him an exquisite pair of Italian driving gloves for our anniversary. He would have worn them on fall drives out to the Hamptons," she lamented the loss of a memory that only ever lived in her mind. A long silence hung in the air before Ana confessed, "I found out yesterday that Claire is pregnant."

"I heard." Just as she had wanted to do countless times before, Kate longed to stand up and shake some sense into her forlorn friend. To remind her that she had been rescued from a life tied to a miserable, lowlife, cheating scumbag. It wasn't that easy though. Superficial approaches to deep seeded hurt only aggravated the problem and drove a wedge between them. Kate knew this from experience, and she decided on a different angle. "Maybe it's time to look for a real job."

Offended, Ana was short in her response, "I have a real job. Have I ever been late on the rent or a bill?"

"It's not about the money. I don't think it's healthy for you to be absorbed in this torment every day."

Ana ran a very successful blog and social media presence through her website "Disengaged" where she commiserated with people who called off their engagements for a wide variety of reason. She consulted women and men, offering practical advice about how to handle all of the details that must be managed after such a significant life change: things like how to return presents, where to sell a never worn wedding dress, and who gets the dog.

"I'm helping people through one of the hardest times they will ever face in their lives," she was defensive. "At least I'm making an impact, not like commenting on the latest pretentious fashion trend to sweep Paris."

Kate was unfazed by the dig to her job as a journalist at a high fashion magazine. As her best friend, she knew Ana well enough to know she would later regret going for the jugular. There was no sense in making her feel bad about it prematurely.

"I know that you are helping people," she placated Ana. "But it's been three years. He's moved on. It's time you helped yourself by moving on too."

"I can't just abandon all of my followers. People depend on me."

"Ok. Well, maybe it's time to pick up some more regular freelance work. Start to phase it out. Or go on a date?" She tentatively approached the latter subject.

"I'm not ready to date," Ana emphatically replied. "I did pitch an idea to Jason Hines over at Millennial Traveler last week about a story on Croatia."

"You didn't tell me you were researching Croatia. It's supposed to be incredibly beautiful. I'm so jealous! That would be an amazing trip, and a getaway would be so good for you right now." Kate gently nudged her.

"Well I haven't heard back from him yet," she brushed it off nonchalantly. "Maybe if I hear back…"

Kate stood up and repositioned herself next to Ana. "It's a step in the right direction." She gave her a big hug feeling slightly optimistic that a trip and a writing assignment could be just the turning point that Ana needed to get her life back on track. "Honey, I hate to do this but I have to get a couple hours of sleep. I'm due in the office for an 8:00am meeting. Are you going to be alright? Do you want to crawl in bed with me?"

"No, I'll be fine," she paused and her face contorted into a sincere and remorseful expression. "Love you. I don't know what I'd do without you. Thank you."

Kate stood up and smiled. "You never have to thank me. Side by side or miles apart, sisters will always be…"

Ana finished the phrase they had repeated to one another thousands of times over the years, "connected by the heart." She kissed her hand and threw it to Kate as she walked back to bed.