A/N: This story will kinda focus on this stereotype for Ed that most of us writers (myself included, lol) seem to have adopted. That Ed has very sloppy handwriting, and can't spell worth a crap.

I thought it was interesting from the very beginning, when I began reading FMA fanfic. That a child genius and prodigy like Ed would have sloppy handwriting and bad spelling, so I finally decided to write something about it!

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or the characters.

It was time for another meeting with Roy's oh-so-favorite subordinate, and Roy absolutely couldn't wait to have it.

In fact, Roy was so excited for it that he was slumped down in his chair, exhaustedly reading through exhaustingly long documents about exhausting subjects. His job was fun. Especially those moments when he got to invoices and letters (angry, more often than not) about Fullmetal's destructive actions in whatever town he'd recently visited.

Like now, Roy was reading a letter from a Cassia Reyes, mayor of Oria, angrily detailing the number of buildings that had collapsed because of Edward Elric and his misadventures in chasing down a criminal rumored to have been using a philosopher's stone, or something close to it. Reyes was demanding that the military reimburse the city of Oria for the destruction.

Which, of course, she'd be getting. And it would coming out of a certain somebody's (*cough* Fullmetal's *cough*) paycheck.

The final insult to Roy's eyes was the blood-red coat that suddenly assaulted his vision, and the sight of a dent in the wall behind the door as it was violently kicked open without warning.

A blond, grinning boy of thirteen strutted in the door like a peacock, waving a packet of papers in his hand like a fan. Roy was quick to sit up and pull the hopeless, long-suffering look off his face before the teen could see it. That would only make things worse for him.

Roy glanced at the non-existent watch on his wrist leisurely, then back up at his subordinate. "Well, well, Fullmetal. Late again, I see. What's your excuse this time?"

Edward simply smirked at him, threw down the packet and turned to leave.

"Answer me, Fullmetal," Roy said, making sure to let no drop of impatience seep through into his voice or features. The stinking kid seemed to be able to sense and seek out irritation like a bloodhound, and then played off it. It had gotten old real quick.

Ed stopped at the door, and Roy picked up the report placed on his desk a moment ago and began leafing through it.

The teen turned back with a cocky grin. "I just overslept, bastard, that's all."

Roy snorted."I'm sure." He stopped, stared at the paper for a second, then looked up at Fullmetal. The kid just stared at him, confused by Roy's unbelieving look.

"Fullmetal, you know that 'criminal' isn't spelled with an 'e', right?"

"...What?"

"And that 'Oria' is spelled 'i-a' and not 'e-u-h'?"

A deep flush settled across Edward's features. "What about tit?"

"I've been meaning to ask you this before, Fullmetal, but why is it you consistently hand in reports that are often neither legible nor understandable?"

The teen blinked back at Roy owlishly. He really, honestly looked confused, and for a moment, Roy felt bad for him, then wondered why.

"Before," Roy continued, "I assumed it was just little bits of your 'rebellious teenager' phase that you were using to spite me, but now I'm not so sure. Bad handwriting would be expected, but bad spelling from someone who's more than a little bit of a perfectionist, not to mention a genius? What's up with that, Fullmetal?"

The confused look had melted into an angry gleam, and it was directed at Roy. More than the anger in the boy's eyes, there also seemed to be a little of what Roy could have sworn was... embarrassment?

"I-I just-" Edward didn't seem to know what to say.

"Edward," Roy began slowly, carefully. "Exactly what grade did you leave school?"

Ed stared at him, eyes wide and fire fading. "... F-fourth. Why?"

Of course. The kid hadn't finished school. He had left to train with his alchemy teacher for a year, and immediately upon arriving in Risembool again, he and Al had performed the transmutation. And during the year after that, Edward had been undergoing physical therapy for his arm and leg, and hadn't been able to attend school. And of course, he'd left soon after treatment to join the military, and had been traveling ever since.

And the terrible handwriting could be explained as well. Edward's right side was his dominant, you could see it in the way he moved, when he led with his right foot when he walked, or in a fight when he punched with his metal fist. You can't write with automail like that. Ed would be forced to use his left instead.

The boy was only thirteen, about to be fourteen, and had only had his automail for around a year!

Roy sighed, scrubbing his hand through his hair. "Where were you really this morning, Ed? Why were you so late?"

Quiet for a moment. "Al was making me correct what I could before I left, but I finished too late."

And even then, he hadn't gotten all of it. Roy sighed, pulled out a sheet of paper, and gestured beside him.

"Come here, Ed."

Uncertainly, the kid walked forward to stand by Roy's side.

"Here's how this is going to work, Fullmetal. Every time you hand in a report, you're going to stay here while I help you correct it. We'll do this every time until your reports don't need fixing anymore. If you have any complaints, get over them. Am I clear?"

Ed glared down at him again, but there was a certain sort of defeat in his eyes. And a sort of light, that Roy thought seemed a little... grateful. How odd. The little brat really was capable of gratuity.

"Fine. I'll correct the stupid paper."

"Good."

It had been a little over a year since Roy decided to help out the kid with his reports, and those reports were slowly getting better and better.

Edward was now fifteen, and while he was still a pain in the ass, his handwriting was clearer and there were fewer mistakes in spelling and grammar.

Roy couldn't help but feel a little pride when he saw the gradual improvement. Ed was more than a little frustrated the first few times he'd had to stay, but it was less frustration with Roy and more with himself. It was very easy to see how irritated the kid was with himself for not being to write properly, even though he could read everything just fine.

But Roy was a patient teacher, and soon had everything sorted out, with occasional help from Hawkeye at the rare moment when Roy wasn't available.

So it was as Roy scanned through Edward's latest report that he, almost surprised, found no mistakes in the three pages of written words. The teen bounced on the balls of his feet in front of Roy's desk, grinning, knowing full well that Roy was finding nothing wrong. And, as an added bonus, it was actually readable.

Finally, Roy looked up at the teen with a small smile. "Well done, Fullmetal. Perfect. I don't think you'll have to stay anymore."

Triumph shone in Ed's eyes, and he practically leapt for joy. Roy allowed his smile to widen, watching the teen in what he realized to be affection. Again, that pride from earlier swelled.

"Well, Fullmetal." Roy stood, and the teen turned back to watch him. The Colonel walked over to one of the finally cabinets off to the side of the room, pulled open the top drawer, and began picking through the list of rumors that had reached his office of the philosopher's stone.

"Why don't we see if we can keep up the perfection, eh?" Finding what he was looking for, Roy shut the drawer and turned to face Ed.

"New case, new report." Roy handed the folder to the teenager. "Keep up the good work, and don't make me make you stay late again, got it?"

"Yeah, I got it." The kid grinned. "Bastard."

Roy huffed a laugh. "Yeah, yeah."

Almost absentmindedly, he reached up and tousled Edward's hair, and was surprised when the younger alchemist didn't pull away. Ed just grinned at him, then turned on his heel and headed toward the door. "See ya later, Colonel!"

Roy smiled slightly. "See ya, kid."