Chapter 6: Loss

Bella's POV

I could still remember the first time I held my daughter as clearly as if it happened yesterday. It was a memory that filled me with love, happiness, and pain.

My baby girl. My little nudger. She was a miracle. A true and pure miracle. Edward and I never could've imagined, not even in our wildest dreams, that we could conceive a baby together since he was a vampire and I was a human.

I was monitored by Carlisle throughout my whole pregnancy and never detected anything unusual. So after carrying her for nine months I gave birth to Renesmee Carlie Cullen.

There were some serious complications during the birth that nearly killed both my daughter and I. Thankfully Carlisle was able to save his granddaughter just in time and Edward was able to change me into a vampire.

Three days later I awoke into my new life filled with happiness and excitement. I was eager to see my baby but Edward had insisted that I go hunting first to make sure that my thirst was under control.

When we got back Rosalie brought my daughter to me. There she was. My daughter fast asleep in Rosalie's arms. She carefully passed Nessie over to me. The action caused Nessie to wake up and start crying.

I was worried that I had done something wrong when Edward told me to rock her slowly and carefully. I remember thinking she was so small. So vulnerable. The idea that this small vulnerable person depended on me for everything scared me. What if I messed something up? What if I wasn't the mother Nessie deserved?

I had also never felt so happy either. The following months were pure bliss. I had Edward and I had Nessie. I had my family. I couldn't ask for anything else.

Christmas was fast approaching and we wanted to make it as special as possible since it would be our first as a married couple and our first as parents.

Nessie never ceased to be amazed by all the Christmas decorations and lights around the house. She'd often reach out and grab an ornament off the tree if we were standing close enough. She'd start crying when we tried to get it away from her.

Jacob was almost always around and whenever she'd start crying he'd automatically run over and ask what was wrong. Jacob imprinted on Nessie not long after she was born. He was a bit overly worried when it came to her happiness and safety. It was annoying but I put up with it. After I nearly killed him when I found out about the imprinting I begun to accept it.

Then came that fateful Christmas Eve. It was supposed to be our most special and memorable day ever. It quickly turned into a nightmare and became memorable for all the wrong reasons.

I walked into Nessie's room to get her ready for the evening only to find that her crib was empty. I screamed and immediately both Edward and Jacob came to see what was wrong.

When I told them both of them nearly destroyed the house looking for her. Jacob phased and frantically searched for her everywhere. We'd searched in town and all the surrounding area but she was gone.

We searched the forest but she was nowhere to be found either. I had never felt so scared before. My daughter was missing and I had no idea why. My daughter could be in danger and we couldn't do anything to save her!

Our search continued throughout the following days, weeks, months, and years. We never found her. I gave up hope on finding her. I didn't think it was possible for her to still be alive after all these years.

That's why I hated Christmas and everything to do with it. We never celebrated the holiday because it brought up way too many sad memories. Christmas was not something to be celebrated when it was the anniversary of something so horrible and tragic. I Christmas music, movies, TV specials, books, and everything associated with Christmas.

I took a deep breath as I thought of my daughter now. After all these years, after losing all hope, we'd finally found her again. Or rather she found us. I was a bit concerned as she was related to Charlie Calvin. According to Edward he truly believes that his father, Scott Calvin, is Santa Clause. His delusions were so strong that he believed in them wholeheartedly. Nessie inherited my mental shield so he had no way of knowing if Nessie knew the truth about her half step-brother or not.

Clearly Charlie was a nutcase and I was worried about Nessie living with a man that had such strong delusions. I wasn't the only one who was worried about that either. Jacob and the rest of the family was as well.

Suddenly I heard a familiar voice getting closer to the house. My breath got caught in my throat as I recognized it as my daughter's. Only what was she doing with Rosalie and that other girl that teased her?

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