CHAPTER EIGHT

Two weeks later…

It was 80 degrees and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I had to admit, I had fallen head over heels in love with L.A. I took advantage of the sunshine to work on my tan. I was proud of the little bikini tan lines that were beginning to appear. Tanning was rare for me, I was always more of a sunburn girl.

I tapped my foot lightly against the pool chair to the rhythm of my music. Since discovering the boys were in a fairly famous boy band, I'd been listening to their albums on repeat. I was incredibly impressed, and extremely proud to have such talented friends.

The warmth from the sun blanketed me; I was so warm and content that I nearly drifted off. Nearly.

A tap on my shoulder startled me out of my in between state. I opened my eyes and turned to the culprit-none other than James Diamond himself.

"Hey," he grinned his perfect toothed grin.

"Hey yourself," I muttered groggily and flashed him a half-smile.

"Did I wake you up?" he laughed. I sat up, rubbing my eyes underneath my sunglasses.

"Yeah, it was really rude," I joked. "What's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to hang out. We finished recording for the day and I'm bored."

"Well!" I exclaimed. "Now that is a problem we must fix right away!"

"That's what I'm saying!" he laughed. "I knew I could count on you."

"What do you wanna do?" James shifted from his pool chair to the edge of mine. He pretended to be deep in thought as he slowly lowered himself down next to me. My heart started racing. What was he doing? Does he know how many people can see us right now? What was he doing? He shifted to his side, lifting his arm for me to snuggle up against him. I hesitated, but obliged. It'd been a while since I'd had a good cuddle session and I could definitely do worse than James Diamond. He picked up one of my earphones and put it in his ear, immediately smiling at the familiar sound of his band's song Oh Yeah.

"What are you smiling at?" I smacked his chest lightly, pleasantly surprised at the thump it made against the muscle.

"Nothing," he sighed in content. "Just love my fans." I rolled my eyes, but didn't respond. I let the song finish, and one more song pass by before I spoke again.

"So… what did you want to do today?" I looked up at him. James's eyes were closed.

"This," he answered. "Let's just stay like this for a little while." A small smile tugged at my lips and I snuggled in closer to him. I hadn't even realized I'd drifted off to sleep until about half an hour later, when I slowly opened my eyes when something was blocking my sun.

"Well, damn, ain't this precious," Lizzy cooed. James scrunched his face, like a child being woken up from a nap, and stretched out slightly, before wrapping his arms tightly around me.

"Shhh," he muttered into my hair. "5 more minutes." Lizzy laughed.

"I'll send you the pic," she winked at me, before waving goodbye. "See you later, lovebirds!"

"Shut up," I called to her. James groaned again at my voice. By that point, I was wide awake, but James was so precious I didn't dare wake him up. We cycled through a few more songs, James remained fast asleep until his phone went off and he awoke with a start.

He let out a groan again and shifted away from me to pull his phone out of his pocket. I took the opportunity to sit up and pull my hair away from my neck. Between the warmth from the sun and James's body heat, my hair stuck to my neck from the sweat.

"Hello?" his voice came out in a soft groan and he rubbed his eyes sleepily. He paused for a moment as the person on the other end responded and he immediately straightened up. His eyes went wide and he looked directly at me. I got a sinking feeling in my gut.

"Hey man, hang on one second," he spoke quickly before covering his phone with his hand. He turned to face me and lowered his voice. "Sorry, I have to take this. I'll be right back." I nodded and watched as he stood up and walked away.

He stood far enough away that I couldn't hear what he was saying. His back was turned to me, but every few seconds he would steal a look at me. But it wasn't a look with a twinkle in his eye that made my heart beat out of my chest. It was a look that simply made me nervous. After a few minutes, James made direct eye contact with me and took a visibly deep breath. I cocked an eyebrow at him, wondering what was running through his head.

Still on the phone, he made his way back to me and sat on the very edge of my pool chair. He still stared at me, and I could almost see the wheels turning on his head. He pulled the phone away from his face and covered the speaker with his hand.

"It's Shiloh." I pressed by eyebrows together, but remained silent. Something about that name… I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but it was familiar.

I heard the voice on the other end of the line. "Hey man, my lunch break is over so I gotta get back to work. It was good talking with you. Let's talk later."

"Sounds great, Shiloh. Talk to you later." He hung up and looked at me with expectant eyes.

"So… Who's Shiloh?" James hesitated for a moment, his eyes darting back and forth from his phone to me, as if he wasn't sure what he should tell me. Before I could ask again however, he let out a deep exhale.

"Your brother." I stared at him blankly. I couldn't piece thoughts together, let alone form words to express how those words affected me. My only conscious thought was "blink."

"Ren? Are you okay?" James waved a hand in front of my face. Was I? "Are you broken?" Probably.

After a few seconds of stuttering and struggling to form coherent sounds, I managed to speak. "I-I'm sorry, my who?"

"Your brother," James spoke slowly. "Shiloh is your brother. Well, one of your brothers. He's the oldest, and then Silas is the middle."

I dropped my head back against the chair with a soft thud. "I have brothers," I muttered in a whisper. All my life, I'd wondered who my parents were, and who the mysterious friends with the matching charms were. But never had I thought about the possibility of siblings. And it turned out I had two of them. Two older brothers, who I didn't remember, but something deep in my soul knew I must have loved them dearly. Two older brothers who grew up believing their little sister was dead, and probably still missed me.

"Can you tell me about him?" James had remained respectfully silent while I processed.

"Which one?"

"Shiloh first, I guess." Shiloh was three years my senior, and Silas was two years older than me. Shiloh was entering his senior year of college at the University of Minnesota for a degree in business, while Silas had travelled further to study chemistry at the University of California, Los Angeles. Both played hockey all throughout high school, and the boys of Big Time Rush practiced at the rink at the same time as them. Shiloh had a girlfriend that he'd been dating since freshman year of high school, while Silas enjoyed the bachelor life.

I felt pride for these boys, even if I didn't quite remember them. James obviously looked up to them a lot and they both seemed to have lived wonderful lives and grown up to be amazing men.

I wanted to ask questions about my parents next. What were they doing? How were they? Where were they?

"What about-" As I opened my mouth to speak, Scarlett plopped down on the chair next to us. She seemed to appear out of nowhere, but she let out a deep, audible sigh to make sure we knew she was there. Scarlett leaned forward with her elbow against her knee and propped her head up with her hand. She looked at me and pouted. My questions about my parents were going to have to wait.

"Are you okay?" I asked slowly.

"No!" She threw her hands dramatically in the air and laid back against the pool chair. With her arm draped across her eyes, she exclaimed, "I have such a crush on Kendall." James and I exchanged glances.

"Why is that a problem?" James questioned.

"Why is that a problem!?" Scarlett screeched. "It's a problem because it's a crush on a cute boy who probably doesn't even like me, James! That is why is a problem!"

I rolled my eyes and playfully nudged James. "Boys," I laughed.

"Well have you even talked to Kendall about it?" James asked. Scarlett and I looked at each other and stifled a giggle.

"No that would be so embarrassing," Scarlett sighed. "I haven't been in L.A. long enough to know how to deal with rejection here."

"Okay, well I'm not speaking for Kendall here, but I wouldn't worry too much about it," James held his hands up defensively.

"Wait, what?" Scarlett sat straight up in the chair. James sealed his lips shut with an invisible key.

"Just go talk to Kendall about it," was all he said.

"Okay…" Scarlett looked at him suspiciously as she slowly walked away.

"Girls," James rolled his eyes, mocking my earlier comment.

"Alright, pretty boy," I teased. "Not all of us have the confidence you do." James just shrugged and nodded.

"Anyways, where were we?" James asked. We were talking about my brothers. I was mustering up the courage to ask about my parents.

"Did you ever tell my parents you found me?" the question spilled out of my mouth like vomit. Of course they didn't tell them. Otherwise, they would be here for me. Right?

James let out a deep sigh. "No. The guys and I thought about it, and we almost did, but we knew that wasn't a decision for us to make. We needed to talk to you about it first." I nodded, and was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. What if they no longer wanted to know me? What if it was easier for them to go on with their lives as if I was dead rather than face the fact that I'd grown up without them? What if they weren't proud of who I'd become?

"Ren? Are you okay?"

"I'm good," I choked out the words despite the lump in my throat. "Let's hold off on telling my parents a little longer." James nodded slowly, studying my face carefully. He wasn't convinced I was okay. In my defense, I was terrible at masking emotions.

"I'll talk to you later, okay?" I forced a smile and gathered my belongings without waiting for a response. I barely heard James say goodbye as I hurried away.

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